The Reviews Are In: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

This is the last Fangirly review I will ever write. And it’s all Ellen’s fault.

See, Ellen has a job where a working knowledge of pop culture is requisite. Needless to say, Ellen is very good at her job. She knew long before I did that that reviews for James guardians-galaxy-2-poster-charactersGunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, the film for which we bought our tickets weeks in advance, was getting slightly less glowing reviews than it’s predecessor. She told me, “Go into this movie thinking that’s it’s only OK, and it will probably exceed your expectations.”

So I did. I trust Ellen to a fault, not just because she’s my hero (please don’t tell her I said that), but because she has a nose for this sort of thing. Ellen’s the pop culture guru and I’m the one that can, under the right conditions, burp the first four letters of the jsc3020-cmp-v3781007-jsc3050-cmp-v2631009-comp-r-1486345142271_1280walphabet. You could say we both bring things to the table.

But as I sat through Vol. 2, I kept forgetting that it wasn’t a perfect specimen of modern film-making. I kept dancing in my seat to the soundtrack. I kept getting wrapped up in the story. I kept enjoying watching characters develop. I kept laughing so hard that I cried, and in some instances, crying so hard that I laughed. In short, I kept forgetting why I wasn’t supposed to love this movie unreservedly.

6ab3ae6be78d4be8fb6407ee754133c867474d74If I’m being honest, it wasn’t Ellen’s fault. She was just trying to shield us both from potential disappointment. But I can’t help but wonder what my experience of this movie might have been if I hadn’t spent the whole 136 minute run-time wondering which of it’s glaring flaws I was missing. I learned that I’d rather be surprised by life’s occasional disappointments rather than spend my time anticipating them. The pop culture landscape is such that people can earn a living from tearing down something someone else put blood and sweat into making.

So I’m done reading movie reviews. I encourage you to do the same. Whether you use guardians-of-the-galaxy-2-2016-billboard-1548them to decide which movies to see, or you use them to validate opinions you already had, I think that the brain trusts over at Entertainment Weekly have officially outlived their usefulness.

That being said, I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to fans of Batman V. Superman. You thought that movie was great, and I trashed it. Hard. While I stand by what I said, you are entitled to love that dumpster fire of a movie (double standards are fun, aren’t they?).

Oh, I was supposed to review Guardian of the Galaxy, wasn’t I? Guys, so good.

Whitney Weldon

 

The Fangirly Show: Episode # 10 Fangirling Over Marvel v. DC

Whitney and Ellen get into it over the heated subject of Marvel vs. DC.  Who’s winning?  Is it even a feud to begin with?  We know you will have opinions.  Plus, another humiliating game of Truth or Dare in which Whitney does some stellar musical impressions and Ellen spits some rhymes from Hamilton with a mouthful of popcorn.

You can listen and subscribe HERE on iTunes or you can go HERE to listen and let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

IMG_2905

Fangirl Poetry: A Crazy Crush Compilation

If you are like me, then you surely must feel,

There are some who are making the thirst very real

There’s a few so sexy, they’re making us squee,

Though they’ve skin like the bark of a wise old tree

giphy (1)

I can think of at least one adorable Braj

From whom I wouldn’t refuse a massage

 

giphy (10)

It’s true, funny guys are well worth the switch

‘Cause, like Bill, they never forget a bitch

giphy (7)

 

And nothing makes a gal more inclined to be naughty

Than a guy who can dazzle with skills in karate

giphy (12)

Then there are babes of a different hue,

Especially those that… abs…

giphy (15)

And a few that even your grandma will scope

#Blessed with a back like bag full of rope

giphy (2)

If you looking for a boff that isn’t a bore,

Find one that can tear up the f#@&ing dance floor

giphy (6)

Though, in truth, my lust for all other men counts for naught

‘Cause 2016 is the year of the Bot

giphy (4)

Whitney Weldon

giphy

 

 

 

Crushes of the Week: Chris Pratt and Chris Evans (AKA Chris Prevans)

We’ve crushed on Pratt. We’ve crushed on Evans. But this week, we’ve fallen prey to the combined charms of our two favorite Marvel Males, whose Super Bowl hijinks made the years most watched sporting event more, you know, watchable. We’ll be sitting down to talk with Chris Prevans, an exclusive interview you’ll only be able to find here, on Fangirly. Here they are now…

rded_wBumlWx

e6e3e3458573f0be59a07b5b31eb595d (1)

Whitney: Gentlemen, it’s a real pleasure to have you… here, at Fangirly. Last weekend was the Super Bowl. Pretty good game, right?

5196cfe8-074d-40e1-ba9c-409116a7e745

Evans?

tumblr_m1uut7aE0K1qax34ro1_250Oh. A man of substance. I like it. 

tumblr_n72tfrdKEI1repjwxo10_500

There seems to be a bit of a bromance brewing between you two.

tumblr_inline_nj7mszjtVC1rrrbiv

Oh…wow…

tumblr_n37bjkUKWA1qj5p41o4_250

Ok, guys, we can’t do this here…Chris Pratt, what are you doing?!

tumblr_inline_n9oqf6ZVw81ro8gba

I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, but you’re married, you know? Some things can never be…Please don’t cry…

tumblr_mgr0g3bz2W1r0n9bmo2_250

Point taken. Let’s talk about your plans for 2015. What can we expect from the Chris’?

tumblr_inline_n3uf94CY4H1qafkc6

Oh… this year? Man, I don’t know how to tell you this… you didn’t get  nominated…

tumblr_m55e8zkk4e1qb05l1o8_r1_250

It’s a really tough break. You were pretty good in Snowpiercer.

tumblr_n4omdz4GMN1qzbq69o1_r1_250

I feel your pain. But Chris Pratt didn’t get a nom either, and he’s handling it pretty well. Right, Chris?

tumblr_ncirefgkm71tv4k5po1_500 (1)

Ok, let’s try something else. Is there anything you’d like to tell the fans? Help them get to know the real Chris Prevans?

E6cc51b

Oh, ok. That’s not really what I had in mind-

tumblr_m5kfl76Blt1qjl035o4_250

Wait, huh?-

tumblr_m5kfl76Blt1qjl035o5_250

No, guys-

tumblr_n2emsm83WD1qm2l53o2_250

You’re definitely aren’t alone there, but-

chris3

Ok, better…

njk

And on that note, we are all out of time. Thank you, Chris Prevans, so much for taking the time to talk with us.  Congratulations on being altogether too much for us to handle.

tumblr_nagtwptQJ61tiiptwo4_r1_250

Whitney

The Reviews are In: Annabelle

annabelle_movie_imagesChances are, you’ve seen Annabelle before. Several times. Let me break it down: creepy doll, catholic priest, couple whose marriage was ordained by the casting gods, tragic murder, satanic rituals. ect. Nothing about this movie is new or innovative or shocking. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good.

Horror is a really formulaic genre for a reason. The same tropes and archetypes pop up again and again because they are rooted in what scares us. Annabelle takes advantage of that fact pretty shamelessly, beginning with the happy expectant couple, a Manson-style murder spree, and an onslaught of spooky ‘what the frak’ moments. I won’t synopsize because everything I could say would begin and end with ‘creepy doll’, but I will say that if you are a fan of gimmick-less horror, this one might be up your alley. Or at least up an adjacent alley. Annabelle feels like an homage to old-school scary, a feature length tribute to bygone classics like Rosemary’s Baby and The Exorcist. And while I don’t like the idea that this Conjuring spin-off is turning one of last years best movies into a haunted tent-pole, at least the result was a film freaky enough to do James Wan proud. So if you are looking forannabelle-movie-2 a serviceable, entertaining movie to see this weekend that could potentially derail your circadian rhythm, go see Annabelle. Or Guardians of the Galaxy for the 9th time. Either way, I fully support your decision.

Whitney

Grade A, Choice Picks: Ellen’s Summer Movies Roundup

As August moves into September and as magazines start touting their Fall Movie Picks, it is safe to say that summer movie is drawing to a close.  Like a true fangirl, I have been to the movies more times this summer than I have been in a bathing suit.  That is a fact.  That being said, I feel more than qualified to pass judgement on this summer movie season.

Back in April, I listed the 10 summer movies that I was most excited to see and… ended up seeing 6 out 10.  The reviews for Jersey Boys, Magic in the Moonlight, The Giver, and Let’s Be Cops just weren’t good enough to get $7-$18 out of me, but that doesn’t mean I won’t shill out the Redbox or Amazon Instant fees eventually.  Maybe.

I DID get out for some movies that hadn’t been on my radar, though, so let’s take a look at my favs from the summer.

snowpiercer-mv-110. Snowpiercer (Previously not listed) Look, I liked this movie but I have had a hard time recommending it because it is definitely not for everyone, but if you enjoy gorific, dystopian movies set on trains with a haunting Tilda Swinton (it’s a very niche category), then this is for you.  Or if you like Chris Evans.  Mmm, Chris Evans in a beanie.

9. Chef (Previously not listed) My number one piece of advice before seeing this movie: do NOT see this on an empty stomach.  I saw it after a big meal and I still wanted to eat everything I saw.  It is food porn.  Outside of the most beautiful footage of food you will ever see, the story was sweet and feel-good, the performances were good, and did I mention the food?

maxresdefault8. 22 Jump Street (Previously #5) This summer was seriously lacking in the straight up comedies, but luckily I had this movie.  I feel like anyone who loves movies would love this movie because it is deliciously meta, skewering summer blockbusters, sequels, and itself.  Channing Tatum continued to impress me with his comedic chops and made me sit up further and take notice (because he had never really done it for me until he started being funny in these movies).  TIP: You MUST stay for the credits because they are probably the best part of the movie.

7. Edge of Tomorrow (Previously #9) I’m glad that I showed some faith in this movie because I ended up really liking it and only wish that more people had gone to see it.  I understand that it looks like your typical Tom Cruise shoot-’em-up, but you guys, it was so much more.  It was a surprisingly funny, kick ass, sci-fi, action movie that had a cool chick who didn’t need Tom Cruise to protect her and Tom’s character was actually a bit of a wimp.  Well, at least in the beginning.  Give it a try on DVD.

boyhood6. Boyhood (Previously not listed) If you haven’t heard about this movie, writer/director Richard Linklater filmed the lead boy and the cast of characters in his life over the course of 12 years.  The result is a delightful slice of life film that is more like 12 slices making a delicious cake that, even at a runtime of over 2 1/2 hours, I didn’t want to end.  I was so protective over this kid by the end because I had literally seen him grow up before my eyes.

5.  The Fault in Our Stars (Previously #2)  This one gets demoted not because I didn’t LOVE it, but only because I can step outside of the feels and recognize that it is maybe not as “quality” of a movie as the ones I save for the top of the list.  As a huge fan of the book, I was contractualy obligated to be excited for the movie and it did not disappoint.  I can’t remember a recent adaptation that was more faithful or a Gus that was more adorable.  Okay?  Okay.


Chef4. X-Men: Days of Future Past
 (Previously #3)  I don’t know if this is something I have made clear yet, but Fassbender.  Enough said.  I love him and he does not disappoint in the looks department here.  Not that he ever could.  Except for Frank maybe. But besides Fassbender, Quicksilver!  Boss 70’s threads!  An unprecedented cavalcade of stars!  Some of whom barely even spoke!  This movie was bananas and I was on board from go.

3. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (Previously not listed)  While I was able to recognize that Rise was a good movie, it didn’t do enough to make me overly psyched for Dawn.  Maybe I just really love apes on horses with machine guns, but I really loved this movie.  I cried way more than I was probably supposed to and

Belle Movie Stills2. Belle (Previously not listed) A bit of a disclaimer, I did watch my Blu-ray of this last night, so it is a bit fresher than the others, but I also loved it enough in theatres to pre-order the Blu-ray so that it would arrive on my doorstep so that it would arrive on my door on the date of release. So, yeah.  I really liked this movie, but in the book of Ellen, what’s not to like?  A good rule of thumb is that if it is a romantic period drama, I’m going to dig it.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy (Previously #1) To quote myself:

I have faith.  Faith in Marvel and the power of Chris Pratt’s abs, a power that cannot be denied.  …  Don’t make me regret putting you at number one, Marvel.

No regrets whatsoever.  In fact, my only regret would have been if it had not been number one.  So far, I have seen this twice in theatres and am scavenging for a friend who has not seen it yet so that I can see it a third time.  I have been very vocal about my love for this movie, so I won’t get into it, but long story, I love this movie, I get giddy just thinking about it, everything about it is perfect, and you cannot convince me otherwise.  With that, I leave you with this:

tumblr_naz2u6t1y91ttvfzko1_500

Happy Fall Movie Season, everyone!

Ellen

How to Make Friends and Stop Alienating People at the Movies

Regal-Cinemas-620x412This is the post I hoped I would never have to write. Because by doing so, I’m forced to acknowledge and address those dinguses who seem utterly incapable of spanking their inner moppet and acting like grown-ups at the movies. If this post comes across as, ummm, combative, I apologize in advance. After an appalling experience at the movies yesterday (a second viewing of my new favorite Oscar contender, Guardians of the Galaxy) I know that this particular bug will stay firmly lodged up my butt until I speak out. And as we all know, Hell hath no fury like a lady whose enjoyment of Chris Pratt was compromised by some jabroni with an iPhone. In an effort to prevent such atrocities in the future, I present Whitney’s Rules of Movie Theater Etiquette. 

1) Arrive Early. I mean, going to the movies is supposed to be a leisure activity, right? Why not make it leisurely by giving yourself enough time to look at movie posters, visit the Pee Palace, get your concessions, and get to your seat in a timely fashion, rather than trying to squeeze in during the previews. Because some of us like the previews, and having you crawl over our knees like a terrier while you try to nab a seat does not enhance the experience. You might ask, How early is early enough? Excellent question. I like to get there anywhere between 20-30 minutes early. Be cognizant of how long it takes you to get there and how long lines at the ticket booth might be.

2) Once the movie starts, ditch the snacks. Ok, this one is harder to justify, as it’s really just kind of a pet peeve. Hearing someone swan-dive into their worryingly large vat of buttered popcorn is a real mood killer. If you want to chow during the previews, then by all means, go to town. But if you are a non-child or non-diabetic, then you should be completely capable of going two hours until your next Junior Mint pick me up. 

3) Let the credits roll. After every movie, there is always that one dude who tries to pole vault over seats in order to be watching-a-scary-movie-in-cinema_818first out of the theater. Why? If science tells us anything, it’s that watching three minutes of credits will not kill you. I’m not saying you need to sit there until an usher gives you a dirty look; once they roll the post-production departments you are probably good to go. 

What is your biggest theater pet peeve? Go ahead. Let it all out in our comment section.

Whitney,

 

 

 

 

Summer Movie Chutes and Ladders!

I did not end up seeing very many movies this summer. In part, because I’ve just been way too busy having a fun, sexy, Newport Ad summer…

tumblr_mfemb8jw7w1qzfvtmo1_400

…And also because I just haven’t been that spoiled with choice. It’s no ancient Chinese secret that this has just not been the summer for movies. I did see a few, though, so I thought I’d play a game of Cinema Chutes and Ladders with some of this summers releases. 

AmazingSpiderman2-WPChute: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Ok, I’m going to say something that is going to sound kinda mean, but is only meant to be constructive: The entire film felt like a really, outrageously expensive piece of Peter/Gwen fanfic. Oh jeeze, that looks just as mean on paper as it did in my head. But the truth is, when you center the entire script of your Big-Budget Superhero Blockbuster on your leads perpetual game of relationship ping-pong, your story is going to suffer. And suffer it did. Everybody knows that Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield have bananas on/off screen chemistry. Doesn’t mean we want to watch a movie about it.  

Ladder: Edge of Tomorrow

There really are not words to express how little I cared about seeing Tom Cruise’s latest attempt edge-of-tomorrowat career dialysis. I figured it was just another two-hour excuse to eat buttered popcorn, watch Tom gaze steely-eyed into the face of danger, and flirt with his under aged, underwritten leading lady. I’ve probably been more wrong before, but nothing immediately springs to mind. Edge was surprisingly funny, inventive, and (whoa!) kind of female driven. Emily Blunt’s character is allowed to be a hero in her own right, and not just as Cruise’s best girl. Not to mention that this is probably one of my favorite Tom Cruise performances EVER. I mean it. He’s smarmy and self-deprecating, and gives us a compelling hero to root for. 

snowpiercerLadder: Snowpiercer

It’s really is hard for me to put into words how I feel about this movie. If you (understandably) assume that my enthusiasm for this one stems from a longstanding and ever increasing Chris Evans crush, I totally get it. But in reality, once I saw the trailer back in May, I knew I was going to see it one way or another. It just looked so different from anything else we were likely to get this summer. And because I ABSOLUTELY refuse to dole out any spoilers on this one, all I will say is that I walked out of that movie theater shaking. It was disturbing and violent and sad and exciting and (once you got over being disturbed, grossed-out, sad, and excited) pretty funny. Just, go see it. For me. Please. Don’t be a weirdo. Just go. Now. Thank you. 

Ladder: Belle

353162-eb33c616-d4ea-11e3-a87f-26802c6294f7

This one pretty much has all the makings of a super-cute chick flick: Racism, sexism, capitalism, imperialism. All the isms. Joking (briefly) aside, this movie is balls-to-the-wall wonderful. Also, hey there Sam Reid. We’ve never met before, but I like everything about you. Including, but not limited to, your face, your eyes, your voice, your smile, and your formidable acting chops. The ladies of the American Colonies salute you, sir. 

Keira Knightley and Mark Ruffalo in "Begin Again"Chute: Begin Again

Oh boy. I guess I know where they were trying to go with this one. I mean, it’s like Once, but in New York, right? I guess you lost me when Kira Knightly announced that Frank Sinatra, Stevie Wonder and that song from Casablanca were her guilty pleasures. No. Those are the songs you pretend are your guilty pleasures when a cute boy is going through your iTunes library. Honestly. You know what’s a pleasure to feel guilty about? “Having Fun” by Britney Spears. The only thing you have to feel guilty about is not fooling anyone. 

Ladder: Guardians of the Galaxy

guardians-galaxy-movie-trailer-humor

Every time I try to think of a way this movie could have been better, I get nothin’. Soup to nuts, one of my new favorite movies of all time. Chris Pratt slays the competition in the Most Boffable Man of the Summer 2014 race. And while I loved B Coop as Rocket the Raccoon, I think I prefer him in his 20 piece suits.                                                                                              

screw-you

Kidding. Love you, Coop. 

What do you think? Did I miss any?

Whitney

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Chris Pratt

This is a repeat pick, but after the week… or month that I have had crushing on Chris Pratt, this needed to happen.  If you only knew all the Chris Pratt related posts that I have liked on Tumblr lately, I would be very embarrassed but also proud of my collection.  Also, seeing Guardians of the Galaxy twice in the course of four days  is bound to make a girl a bit obsessive.

I would like to point out that I have been crushing on Chris since before he got in Guardians shape, but of course, Guardians shape has turned this up to 11.  I have loved seeing him in the spotlight, especially since he is this lovable goof that I fell in love with on Parks and Rec.

And now here is an image dump because I couldn’t pick.

Ellen

tumblr_inline_n9owtdhpBf1sbt1pttumblr_n9vc7vJaIj1qewacoo1_500tumblr_n4rhdzcsfR1tqa0qyo2_500tumblr_n94lxwrur21tennpwo1_500tumblr_n9qn1i1MaX1r6hs5vo1_500

And this:

Run-On Sentence Reviews: Guardians of the Galaxy

GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2This run-on sentence review is going to be hard for me to write because I am going to want to use a lot of exclamation marks to express my complete and utter delight and therefore end the sentence but I shall refrain and instead just calmly say that I freaking loved this movie (!!!! I couldn’t help myself) because in my book it doesn’t get much better than a hilarious, epic space odyssey with a killer soundtrack and on top of that, one which stars Chris Pratt but I think my favorite part was that I was expecting Chris Pratt to make me laugh but everyone in this movie was also really funny, one of my biggest surprises being Dave Bautista as Drax, but almost from the word go I was in love with this movie but I may not be the most partial critic because I was bouncing in my seat before the movie even started but I am just so happy that this gamble paid off for Marvel even though I don’t think Marvel ever actually saw it as a gamble but I know more than a few people were a bit skeptical about a lesser known comic featuring a walking talking tree and raccoon but this just goes to prove my point that one should never doubt Marvel because at this point can they do us wrong?

Verdict:  This should be abundantly clear, but, DUH, go see this!! Now! (Judging from box office reports, you already did)

Grade A, Choice Picks: Ellen’s Most Anticipated Movies of Summer 2014

Jake+Johnson+Lets+Cops+Films+LA+lsCPAGbD5qdlSummer, the time for fun in the sun, but more importantly, air conditioned multiplexes.  You can take your beaches and BBQs, I’m all for sequestering myself into dark rooms with strangers and a tub of popcorn. Let’s dive into my top picks for movies to see this summer!

10. Jersey Boys (June 20) I’m a sucker for a good ol’ song and dance routine, especially when it is of the malt-shoppe-doo-woppy variety.  A musical helmed by Clint Eastwood with virtual unknowns has me especially intrigued.

9. Edge of Tomorrow (June 6) This one has had me swayed since I saw the first footage at Comic Con.  It looks like a gritty, sci-fi, Groundhog’s Day and I can get on board with that.

8. Let’s Be Cops (August 13) Movie, you had me at starring Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr.  Also, this is coming out on my birthday.  Happy birthday to me, indeed.

magic-in-the-moonlight-emma-stone-colin-firth7. Magic in the Moonlight (July 25) Yes, yes, Woody Allen is a bit taboo right now, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he makes good movies (most of the time) and that this one stars Emma Stone and Colin Firth.  As an Austenphile, I am contractually obligated to always believe in Colin Firth.

6. The Giver (August 15) File this under “Ellen’s Most Cautiously Anticipated Movies of Summer 2014”.  As someone who loves young adult literature, I am, of course, familiar with the source material here.  The trailer gives me much to worry over in regards to the fidelity, but I can also respect a good adaptation, no matter how unfaithful. The power of Meryl is helping to bolster me.

22-jump-street-red-band-trailer5. 22 Jump Street (June 13) I am sucker for stupid comedies and the previous 21 Jump Street had me hook, line, and sinker.  It was also what convinced me to join the Channing band wagon, because he was funny and that is all it takes with me.

4. Godzilla (May 16) With all due respect to Mr. Jessica Parker, I am excited to see what looks like will be an actually good Godzilla movie.  I also sat in on the Comic Con panel for this one and they talked a lot about how it is less a Godzilla movie and more a character study of people dealing with a Godzilla attack.  Color me excited.

first-official-image-released-from-x-men-days-of-future-past-142959-a-1376897445-470-753. X-Men: Days of Future Past (May 23) The latest trailer has me even more excited for May 23rd.  I love me a good X-Men movie and, Fassbender bonus points aside, this looks like it is going to be good ‘un.  The star power alone should be enough to make it amazeballs.

ebfdbabec18c15c361c93dfc332c852a2. The Fault in Our Stars (June 6) Okay? Okay. This is another adaptation that has me worried, because I am not sure how all of John Green’s amazing book is going to translate to screen, but I am more excited than anything.  Why I am excited to get my cry on, I don’t know, but I am guaranteed a good one.

Zoe-Saldana-Chris-Pratt-and-Dave-Bautista-in-Guardians-of-the-Galaxy-2014-Movie-Image21. Guardians of the Galaxy (August 1) I am taking a leap of faith here, because this could be terrible or too “weird” to find an audience.  But no.  I have faith.  Faith in Marvel and the power of Chris Pratt’s abs, a power that cannot be denied.  Also, hello?  Karen Gillan, Lee Pace, John C. Reilly, and Bradley Cooper as a machine gun toting raccoon?  More than anything, it will be fun to see Marvel work outside of the Avengers.  Don’t make me regret putting you at number one, Marvel.

What has you pumped/nervous?  Let us know in the comments!

Ellen