Fangirl Poetry: A Crazy Crush Compilation

If you are like me, then you surely must feel,

There are some who are making the thirst very real

There’s a few so sexy, they’re making us squee,

Though they’ve skin like the bark of a wise old tree

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I can think of at least one adorable Braj

From whom I wouldn’t refuse a massage

 

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It’s true, funny guys are well worth the switch

‘Cause, like Bill, they never forget a bitch

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And nothing makes a gal more inclined to be naughty

Than a guy who can dazzle with skills in karate

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Then there are babes of a different hue,

Especially those that… abs…

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And a few that even your grandma will scope

#Blessed with a back like bag full of rope

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If you looking for a boff that isn’t a bore,

Find one that can tear up the f#@&ing dance floor

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Though, in truth, my lust for all other men counts for naught

‘Cause 2016 is the year of the Bot

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Whitney Weldon

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Fangirly Crush of the Week: Anthony Jeselnik

anthony-jeselnik1This weeks crush is Anthony Jeselnik, a writer and comedian who vaguely reminds me of that guy we all knew in high school. You know, the guy who was a total jerk, but also really smart and super smokin’, so you secretly had the hots for him anyway? If you like your comedy to be cringe-worthy, you should watch his new show The Jeselnik Offensive on Comedy Central. Here’s a pretty hilarious clip to show you what I’m talking about…

-Whitney