I think it’s safe to say that I’m not the most committed nerd. I stopped watching Doctor Who after the end of the Smith Dynasty, I’m only mildly enthusiastic about Star Wars, and I just can’t get worked up about comic books, superhero comics in particular. DC, Marvel, Dark Horse, Image. I live and breathe superhero films, but I just can’t seem to work myself up into the same lather over the hard copy.
Maybe it’s the format. There’s a reason why superhero movies are so much more accessible than the cellulose version, right? Comics are a weird blend of a visual and literary medium and, maybe for some, the formula just doesn’t work.
It’s a pretty good theory, with only one massive, gaping hole. My distaste doesn’t necessarily extend to all comics. I love The Sandman, The Pride of Baghdad, V for Vendetta, Maus, Persepolis. All of those stories are great pieces of fiction in their own right. I know this because each one made me cry so hard, you’d have thought I had just watched the end of Stepmom.
No, it seems like my aversion to comics begins and ends with superhero comics. They just seem so boring. The action, characters, stories all just seem so much more interesting and dynamic in film format. So why does something I love so much on the screen fall so short on the page? SOMEONE EXPLAIN IT TO ME!
My reasons for waiting this long to even attempt breaking into Game of Thrones are manifold. Firstly, because watching HBO’s hottest show is a bit rough when you don’t have HBO. Or an actual TV (bless the internet). Also, my tolerance for televised incest is pretty low; I mean, that is ground that even Law and Order: SVU fears to tread. And from what I have been told, there is a stunning amount of Bro-Boffing going on in this show, leading me to conclude that siblings in Westeros must not have to share a bathroom. Because I firmly believe that walking into a water closet that your brother or sister has completely destroyed would nip any incestuous inklings right in the bud.
My final reason for steering clear of GoT for this long is that, well, I’ve actually seen George R. R. Martin, and he has got a particular look. You know, the Neighbor Who Writes His Own Pornographic Fanfic look. Before you say it, I totally understand how mean that sounds, but LOOK AT WHAT HE WRITES: Hot chicks, dragons, tons of sex and violence. I’m just saying, he fits a very particular profile. So please, someone convince me why I should get over my hangups about today’s most zeitgeisty show and learn to love Game of Thrones.
I’ve tried, I swear. I have looked high and low for a reason to watch Pretty Little Liars, but so far I have only found one…
A real shame, considering Piper (sorry, Holly Marie Combs) gets maybe twenty seconds of combined screen time in the first three episodes. Which, coincidentally, is about as much as my gag reflex will allow me to swallow. Excepting the aforementioned 1/3 of the Halliwell coven, I cannot find one character that I like, or at least find compelling enough to make the story palatable. In the few episodes I’ve seen, the four Lead Liars have shoplifted, withheld information from the police, made-out with their English teachers, stolen their sisters’ fiancees, and accidentally(?) maimed a classmate. In the first three episodes. Now, I’m not saying that every female on TV needs to be a paragon of womanly virtue. Fangirly loves complex female characters, which might explain why we dedicated our own little corner of the internet to writing about them. But there is a pretty well-defined line between being a complicated person and being a crappy person, and these girls can’t seem to find it.
I swear I’m not trying to be mean. I know that this show has a lot of fans, and not just the tweenage kind. I know several women with impressive taste who are completely caught up in this show, and I am just trying to figure it out. So convince me, please.