Fangirly Presents: Why Women aren’t Funny

You know what sucks?

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And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, I was informed today that women are, tragically, not funny.

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It’s true.

I know this because the person who let me in on this secret was, himself, blessed with a penis, so you know he knows comedy.

At first I was furious. How could someone make, with such confidence, such a blatantly untrue generalization?

Then I thought about it. And, wouldn’t you know it, he’s right.

Women really aren’t funny.

I mean, we have no sense of irony.

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Woman are historically terrible at physical comedy.

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Honestly, how many women can do impressions?

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I think, and this is just me, that women are too preoccupied with their appearance to be funny.

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And you know who really isn’t funny? Mature women.

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Maybe if we didn’t harp so much about objectification in the media.

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Maybe if we just got better at rolling with the punches.

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If we weren’t so damn prissy. You know, developed a sense of bathroom humor.

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It’s no wonder that male comedians don’t want to work with women.

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And why there aren’t any good female comedy duos.

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Who would have thought that ovaries, those things that launch our transformations into raging hose beasts with each new moon, would be the agents of our comedic destruction?

Let’s rally, ladies. Let’s focus on our strengths. Like wifery.

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And being good at literally everything else.

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Actually… wait…

I think I just thought of a joke.

Ok, bare with me, I’m new at this.

What did the woman say to the dumb-ass who thinks women aren’t funny?

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Get it?

Whitney Weldon

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The Reviews Are In: The Veronica Mars Movie

Veronica-MarsWhen it comes to the Veronica Mars movie, I’m capable of only so much impartiality. This show has been my world since 2004 and objectivity has never been one of my strengths, anyway. But I will try for the sake of the non-Marshmallows out there to give an honest opinion.

Initially, I was really nervous. Ever since the much publicized kick-starter campaign, the expectations for this film adaptation of (empirically)  TV’s best show were unreal. And I would be lying if I said that all my expectations were met. Some of my favorite characters just didn’t get the screen time I felt they deserved, and I felt like the plot was a bit light. But pretty soon, Veronica started digging up Neptune dirt, and all was right with the world. (Seriously, I’m pretty sure the Earth started spinning again.)

Speaking of Veronica, let’s talk about something that sort of did bother me. The end of season 3 left our heroine in a pretty spectacularVeronica-Mars-trailer mess. PizMarski’s first sex tape had just gone platinum and Veronica’s father had been charged with evidence tampering (a fact the film conveniently glossed over) after doing just that to cover up yet another one of his daughter’s not-so-petty crimes. Fast forward several years later, and Veronica is now a law school graduate with the bright future fans had always hoped for. That is until murder and potential mayhem bring her back to Neptune and the immediate social circle of one Logan Echolls. Not to give too much away, but the next hour of the film mostly consists of Veronica making several pretty self-destructive choices. Choices, we are led to believe by the 300 substance abuse metaphors, she makes because she just can’t help herself. Now, maybe it’s just me, but I had always given VM more credit than that. To me, her crime-solving relapse felt more like an escape route from real life, perhaps made a little too real by the stable relationship and promising career prospects.

Ok, I realize that all sounded pretty negative, but at the end of the day this was a VERONICA MARS movie. Kristen Bell and veronica-mars-movie-loganCo. kicked all the usual ass, and the writing was just as awesome as you remember (or don’t remember, if you are one of the aforementioned non-Marshmallows). I loved it, and not just obligatory Fangirl love. This movie was absolutely worth the wait, and totally worth a sequel. And let’s not kid ourselves, there will probably be a sequel.

Whitney

Fangirly Investigates: The Best Movies and TV to Help You Survive Finals Week

Are you stressed out beyond human endurance? Do you feel like your entire future depends on the outcome of a few essays and exams? Is your room so full of books, papers, and processed junk food that it looks like you’re preparing for the Rapture? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be suffering from Finals Week. We here at Fangirly know that academia can be a hard pill to swallow, so we’ve compiled a list of the best TV and movies to help you survive your last week before summer vacation!

mars14f-1-web1) Veronica Mars Season 2- Nothing puts your academic woes into perspective like watching this show about a teenage PI who manages to pull off a 4.0 GPA, work part-time at her fathers detective agency, and look good on a budget, all without breaking a sweat. After seeing VM graduate with honors AND figure out who orchestrated a tragic bus crash, you might think twice before whining about your course load.always-sunny-dayman

2) It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia- Should the worst happen and you totally bomb the biggest week of your semester, you can take comfort knowing that you are still way, WAY smarter than these idiots.

renfield3) Dracula (1931)- I bet you weren’t expecting this one! This primordial horror flick will help you break up the monotony of studying by allowing you to indulge your long-standing crush on Renfield (Dwight Frye). Oh wait, that’s just me? Ok, forget I said anything. Seriously.

Good Luck!

-Whitney

Veronica Mars Movie: IT’S ON!

VeronicaMarsWell, that’s it.  I have reached my happiness quotient for the month.  Nothing could possibly make me happier this month than this news.  Sure, my best friend is getting married this month, but as a fellow Veronica Mars fan, I’m sure she’ll understand.

Rob Thomas and Co.  have started a Kickstarter campaign to raise enough money to film the VM film this summer and all they need is our money!  But wait, there’s more!  Depending on how much you donate, you get all sorts of goodies.  For myself, I donated $50 and with that I get a DVD of the movie, a digital version of the movie, a copy of the script, and a T-shirt.

If you have any love whatsoever for this wonderful, underrated gem of a show, at least go watch the campaign video that they created.  I laughed, I cried, and I got crazy excited to think that I will get more Veronica Mars!!

Ellen

Top Five California Flicks!

So I am six months into my first year in Utah, and while I love the people, the schools, and the fact that there is a Chuck-O-Rama on every corner, I am really missing my mild California winters. So, in honor of my homeland, and in an effort to stave off homesickness, I’ve compiled a list of all my favorite movies and TV set in the Golden State.
so-i-married-an-axe-murderer5) So I Married an Ax Murderer- This movie has been rocking my world since 1993. TO this day, I have a hard time getting through a serious conversation about relationships without blurting out, “Jane, get me off this crazy thing called love!” And don’t even get me started on my family’s trip to Alcatraz. Suffice it to say, every tour guide was named Vicky, whether they liked it or not.
4) Easy A- It’s about time someone made a movie that shows how Eprudish and uptight California high schools girls are. I can’t count how many times we ostracized a girl who DARED show up in tight pants and a sleeveless top. Honestly, the nerve.
tumblr_led6xzt9781qf314eo1_5003) Ten Inch Hero- I’d be lying if I said that Jensen Ackles and his adorable and love-challenged character Priestly wasn’t my favorite part of this movie. There, I said it. Even colored mohawks and ironic kilt-wearing couldn’t dim the beauty of the Superior Winchester. Also, the story is pretty good too. You know, if you like heart-warming love stories, on-screen chemistry, and other such junk.
2) Clueless¬– There is no way to put into words what this movie meant to me growing up. Really, being raised with the clueless-title-imagefirm belief that one day I would have a love/hate relationship with Paul Rudd that would eventually culminate in true love probably wasn’t super conducive to a healthy grown-up world view. Regardless, this movie is the best.
Main_Page_Photo_for_September1) Veronica Mars- This is the California I remember. The murder, the intrigue, the sleuthing. That pretty much sums up my high school experience too. Finally, a show that accurately portrays the life on an average California teenager, right? Like, totally.

Tell us your favorite California flicks in our comment section!

-Whitney