Fangirly Presents: Why Women aren’t Funny

Posted in Fan-Rants, Uncategorized by Whitney Weldon

You know what sucks?

And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, I was informed today that women are, tragically, not funny.

It’s true.

I know this because the person who let me in on this secret was, himself, blessed with a penis, so you know he knows comedy.

At first I was furious. How could someone make, with such confidence, such a blatantly untrue generalization?

Then I thought about it. And, wouldn’t you know it, he’s right.

Women really aren’t funny.

I mean, we have no sense of irony.

Woman are historically terrible at physical comedy.

Honestly, how many women can do impressions?

I think, and this is just me, that women are too preoccupied with their appearance to be funny.

And you know who really isn’t funny? Mature women.

Maybe if we didn’t harp so much about objectification in the media.

Maybe if we just got better at rolling with the punches.

If we weren’t so damn prissy. You know, developed a sense of bathroom humor.

It’s no wonder that male comedians don’t want to work with women.

And why there aren’t any good female comedy duos.

Who would have thought that ovaries, those things that launch our transformations into raging hose beasts with each new moon, would be the agents of our comedic destruction?

Let’s rally, ladies. Let’s focus on our strengths. Like wifery.

And being good at literally everything else.

Actually… wait…

I think I just thought of a joke.

Ok, bare with me, I’m new at this.

What did the woman say to the dumb-ass who thinks women aren’t funny?

Get it?

–Whitney Weldon

19Apr2016

TV Raised Me, and I Feel Fine

Posted in Fan-Rants, Uncategorized by Whitney Weldon

I saw my brother for the first time in months this last weekend. As insufferable as we are as individual units, we’re exponentially worse when we get together. Every other word is an inside joke (Sleepy Richard, earning your lunch meat, Pretzel Boy, moving about the house), and all the words in between are movie and TV quotes. This earns us little respect from the people around us. But this sibling shorthand we’ve developed comes from a shared childhood experience: we were raised by TV.

To be clear, we had great parents. We were always clean (ish), well-fed, and adequately loved. But when both of your parents work full time, TV is often used to fill the gaps. And when you come from a family of renowned movie buffs, a certain level of cultural literacy is expected. The problem is, when people learn this about you, you get a very specific look. It’s a look that says, “I’m so sorry for your unfulfilled life”. My response usually reflects my impeccable upbringing and unimpeachable manners.

I appreciate your thinly veiled shade, but it is unnecessary. TV made me who I am, for better or worse. From a early age, I was exposed to movies and shows written by some of the cleverest people in the world.

I learned social graces.

I learned how to carefully formulate a snappy comeback.

I realized that not everyone can be trusted.

Sometimes these stories reflected my own experience.

And sometimes they didn’t.

But without them, I’d never be able to feel another person’s crushing disappointment.

Or mortal terror.

I wouldn’t know how it feels to watch someone you love die.

I’d never understand how it feels to lose everything you have.

Good TV, like a good book, gives us a window into another person’s experience,

and explore realities that otherwise wouldn’t exist.

TV made me empathetic, and forced me to experience emotions other than my own.

So don’t be worried that your kids watch TV. Worry about what they watch on TV. Make sure that what they watch reflects the kind of person you want them to be. If it doesn’t…

Make sure their shows are funny and smart.

Make sure that they are gaining experiences beyond their own.

And remind yourself to thank me later. I’ll wait.

–Whitney Weldon

15Mar2016

Rocky: It’s Way Better Than You Think

Posted in Fangirly Exposed!, Uncategorized by Whitney Weldon

This blog is already WAY more telling than I would like. So in keeping with the spirit of confession, I’ll admit that, while I can take or leave sports movies as a whole, I have an unnatural and consuming passion for boxing movies. Cinderella Man, Million Dollar Baby, Southpaw, Creed (most recently). But none of these, with the possible exception of Creed (thanks to the many talents of one Michael B. Jordan), are even in the same weight class as the most iconic boxing movie of all time…

Rocky.

Rocky I, specifically.

This is a franchise that has gotten a weird rap. It’s become synonymous with bad 80’s acting-

And still stands as the poster child for the Homoerotic Training Montage.

But the first Rocky (1976) is a film of surprising depth and nuance. It’s two parts indie drama, one part underdog story.

Rocky Balboa is just a young mook from Philly who thinks that opportunity has passed him by. Until world champ Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers, before he got a stew going) gives him a shot at a the big time.

But the real heart of Rocky isn’t the big fight, or boxing, really. It’s the shockingly tender and grounded love story between Rocky and his main lady, Adrian.

If there’s one thing you should take away from this movie, it’s that Rocky loves Adrian.

Love.

But in between the shouting and the showdowns, we’re given the most unintentionally comedic training montage in the history of cinema.

This movie hasn’t resonated much with millennials. Probably because it wan’t directed by Joss Whedon. But if you’re looking for a movie that is unexpectedly sweet, and smart, and subtle, take a chance on the Italian Stallion. I guarantee you’ll eat lightening, and crap thunder.

-Whitney Weldon

9Feb2016

An Interview with Oscar Isaac

Posted in Crush of the Week, Uncategorized by Whitney Weldon

Fangirly has been blessed with many fascinating, hard-hitting interviews during our run as the internet’s most obsolete entertainment blog. Today, we’re continuing that streak as we chat with one of this years biggest break-out stars, Oscar Isaac!

Oscar, we are so, so excited to sit down with you today.

Um… my name is… um… I know this… Melissa? Sorry, it’ll come back to me.

So, anyway, you’ve had a pretty big year. There’s been so much good buzz about all your performances–

Well, yeah, arguably I haven’t spoken to Jean… Sorry, who’s Jean?

Oh, I’m sorry man…

Do you… do you wanna have a little dance party? Wake you up, maybe?

Wow, I really thought that would take more persuasion…

So now that we’ve successfully brought the funk, you wanna talk about some of your upcoming projects?

… Um, so you’re playing Apocalypse in the new X-Men movie. What drew you to playing a bad guy?

Whoa, hey man! Leave Carla Gugino out of this! You’re Hulking out, dude!

Yep, get it all out…

You good?

Cool. So I was hoping we could just talk about Ex Machina and–

Um… why?

Yeah, totally, but can we also just talk about Ex Machina and the gender politics–

Great, yeah, let’s do it!

Oh, are you being philosophical or really asking?

Wait, seriously?

You know, it’s the social and biological differentiation between male and female organisms…

Well, we are unfortunately all out of time! Do you have anything you wanna say before we go? Maybe a shout-out to your Star Wars co-star John Boyega?

Sorry, did you say, “Llewyn is the cat”?

Oh, got it. Thanks so much for being with us today! In case it wasn’t clear, we love you here at Fangirly.

…

–Whitney Weldon

1Feb2016

The Fangirly Show: Episode # 7 Fangirling Over TV Revivals

Posted in The Fangirly Show, TV by Ellen Lloyd

Whitney and Ellen discuss the pros and cons from a bringing back a show from that underworld known as cancellation. Is it a good thing or bad thing for the landscape of television? But more importantly, has it ever been done well? Plus, the ladies lay down their bets for their Fangirly Oscar Pool. Who will win? And who will have to suffer the consequences of losing? (Odds are, Whitney).

You can listen and subscribe HERE on iTunes or you can go HERE to listen and let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

7Aug2015

Fangirly Birthday Tribute: The Story of Ellen

Posted in Fangirl Poetry by Whitney Weldon

Her life began, as you might assume,

When she beat a hasty retreat from the womb

Her wit was legend by the time she was six,

No one could ever catch on to her tricks

But Ellen cared not for the praise, not one bit,

Even when it came from her dear cousin, Whit

The girls became buddies, of the rarest kind,

No two more alike in spirit and mind

Whitney cried on the day Ellen left for the city

She was now all alone, and it felt pretty… um, bad

Though their visits were fun, they just weren’t enough,

And saying goodbye became rougher than rough

But Ells was just fine, yes she tore it up good,

Doing the things you WISH that you could

And sometimes, she’d think of her poor lonely cousin

For the good times they’d shared, she could count by the dozen

So the girls reunited, and they did it real fast

And were just as close as they’d been in the past

Just one thing now could complete their bliss,

To each wed a guy by the name of Chris

Which totally happened, I swear that it’s true,

I’d go into detail, but that might get too blue

That’s the end of my story, and I hope you’re all awed

By Ellen, the world’s most spectacular broad.

Ells, I hope this birthday poem wasn’t a dud,

But, just in case, I also got you Paul Rudd

–Whitney

4Jun2015

Fan Rants: Death to the Networks!!!

Posted in Fan-Rants by Whitney Weldon

When I initially heard that Fox had cut the cord on our Fangirly Favorite The Mindy Project, my reaction was more or less what you might expect. I sold all my earthly possessions, joined a doomsday cult, and settled in for the End of Days. But from the midst of tragedy, an unlikely hero emerged, destined to redeem us all from a Mindy-less existence. Yes, people, ya heard. Hulu will be picking up Kaling’s brain-baby and giving it new life online.

And this isn’t the first time that a streaming service has needed to step in to save a beleaguered series. Yahoo adopted Community and Netflix resurrected Arrested Development (with debatable success, but still). Not only are these sites delivering really strong, occasionally award-winning, original content to subscribers, they are salvaging the network underdogs that struggle to perform and bringing them back from the dead.

Ok, I’m not an idiot. I know that Hulu probably isn’t doing this out of altruism or some media-messiah complex. They probably stand to make a lot of money from this deal and I have no doubt that the switch will be marketed aggressively. But the fact stands that Hulu is taking a chance on this amazing little show written by and starring one of the only non-white female leads on TV. Ever. Meanwhile, networks are giving us Boy Meets World reboots and a Full House made-for-TV-movie.

This all leads me to ask, do we really need networks? Or are the a relic that is desperately trying to recapture the magic of ten, twenty, thirty years ago? Most shows are available online anyway, and even HBO is offering a streaming service for much less than your exorbitant cable package. As a representative of a generation that watches most of it’s TV online anyway, it’s not a very hard question.

What do you think? Hit us up at fangirlyfangirls@gmail.com, or @fangirly2, and give us what you got.

-Whitney

17Dec2013

Grade A, Choice Picks: Top Christmas Episodes

Posted in Choice Picks, TV by Ellen Lloyd

Today, I give you my list of Christmas episodes. This list is almost impossible to whittle down to just 10, so I made this a list of 15. Also, I tried to keep the list to just one episode per show. Some of these, I haven’t watched in a long time and some are brand new additions to the Holiday Episode list. Keep in mind that I don’t watch every show and I am very biased in my selection of the “best holiday episodes ever”, but I think you can enjoy my list regardless.

15. “The 23rd” New Girl: Season 1 – Nick really fouls things up when he tells Jess’ current boyfriend that she is not in love with him. The real Christmas magic is when Nick wakes up the most decorated neighborhood in town, Candy Cane Lane, to turn on all of their lights to cheer her up. Is it any wonder why these two are together now?

14. “Symphony of Illumination” How I Met Your Mother: Season 7 – Definitely the biggest bummer episode on the list, but that is what makes this episode so great. Robin takes the narrating reins and tells the story of when she thought she was pregnant to what turn out to be her imaginary children. You see, Robin finds out that she cannot have children. The true Christmas spirit comes when Ted cheers her up without knowing why she needs cheering up by setting up an elaborate Christmas light routine.

13. “Christmas Party Sex Trap” The Mindy Project: Season 2 – Yes, this just aired, but hello! Did you see Chris Messina dance to Aaliyah? Yeah. And if that weren’t enough, Mindy and Danny almost kiss!

12. “Santa in the Slush” Bones: Season 3 – Ah, the good old days when the only person getting into the Bones-Booth mix was Caroline bribing them into kissing under the mistletoe. I love Caroline. While the whole first-kiss aspect really helps, this is also just a pretty good Christmas episode. You have the gore and mystery with a dead Santa in a sewer, you have the funny with Booth having to sniff Santas, you have the whimsy with Santa’s apartment above a toy store, and you have the touching with Booth giving Brennan her Christmas tree. Le sigh.

11. “Christmas Special” 30 Rock: Season 3 – In my book, it doesn’t get much better than Liz Lemon ruining Christmas for some kids and Jack finding out that his mom took F.A.O. Schwartz as her gentlemen lover (“Uhh that word bums me out unless it’s between the words meat and pizza”) to make Christmas for him as a kid.

10. “Citizen Knope” Parks and Recreation: Season 4 – It shouldn’t be surprising that the merriest show on television is good at doing a Christmas episode. Sure enough, in true Parks and Recreation style, this episode is hilarious and sweet. Leslie is in the midst of her suspension after it is revealed that she and Ben are dating. Leslie is obviously the best at gift giving, but the parks department wants to make up some of the difference. When her campaign team bails after low approval numbers, they give her the best gift of all!

9. “Afternoon Delight” Arrested Development: Season 2 – Ah, Christmas. The time of year when you have parties on Bethlehem time, sing about daytime lovin’ with your niece, and let kids get their grubby little hands all over a $3000 dollar suit. Come on!

8. “The Polarizing Express” Psych: Season 5 – It is exactly what you would want out of an It’s a Wonderful Life episode from Psych written and directed by James Roday: bizarre, hilarious, and Gus in a UPN sitcom in the 90s. This episode only further solidifies my love for Roday.

7. “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas” Community: Season 2 – This stop-motion, musical spectacular holiday special send-up had to be on the list. Um, Abed finding out that the meaning of Christmas is the first season of Lost on DVD because Christmas can mean whatever we want it to mean? Brilliant, uproarious, and kind of sweet. Also, this episode gave me my new favorite Christmas mascot. Christmas Pterodactyl!

6. “Christmas Party” The Office: Season 2 – This one made me all sorts of nostalgic for the (now fulfilled) sexual tension of Jim and Pam. It also had some other great stuff, too. Michael’s impromptu Yankee Swap to get rid of the homemade oven mitt, Creed’s equally impromptu Secret Santa gift, Angela’s babies-playing-saxes poster, and Meredith flashing Michael. “Happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party’s so lame.”

5. “A Very Supernatural Christmas” Supernatural: Season 3 – This episode is exactly what you would expect from a Supernatural Christmas episode: it’s creepy, it’s kooky, and it has that punch of heart right at the end between the demon hunting bros.

4. “No-Ho-Ho” Happy Endings: Season 3 – All I want for Christmas is this show to come back. Is that so much to ask? The episode centers around the gang trying to give Jane the best birthday ever when they find out that her birthday is actually on Christmas, but they have a hard time keeping Christmas out. Between Brad’s penchant for dancing with hip-hop Santa, Max’s Egg Nog addiction, and Alex’s weird present opening fetish, there is no way they can succeed. “Happy Birthday, Jane. And Jesus.”

3. “Bath Item Gift Hypothesis” The Big Bang Theory: Season 2 – Sheldon really struggles with what to reciprocate Penny’s Christmas gift with so he buys up every gift basket in Bath and Body Works with plans to pick the present that best fits her gift to him in terms of price. And while I enjoy this whole episode, I adore the last five minutes. When Sheldon receives Penny’s … you know what, just go watch this.

2. “A Christmas Carol” Doctor Who: Eleventh Doctor – It should be noted that I somehow forgot to include at lease ONE Doctor Who special on yesterday’s list. I’m so ashamed that I am cheating and including this special on the episode list. Hey, it’s my list, I can do what I want. It has gotten to they point now where my Christmases are not complete without my Doctor Who specials and this one is my favorite. A twist on the Dickens classic may be a bit over done, but the Whovian element makes this just right.

1. “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” Mystery Science Theater 3000: Season 3 – In answer to your question, yes, this movie is as ridiculous as it sounds. In fact, probably more so. But that is what makes Joel and the bots making fun of it so great. Then you couple their commentary with their performance of “A Patrick Swayze Christmas”, a seminal Christmas carol classic, and you get pure holiday magic.
Phew! That’s a lot of linking for your viewing pleasure, there you have it! Do you have any shows you like with great Christmas episodes that I should check out? Do you disagree with my order? Not that I am going to change my mind, but I would love to at least pretend to listen to your feedback. Check out my favorite Christmas specials and stay tuned for my favorite holiday movies and holiday records!

– Ellen

29May2013

The Reviews Are In: Another Take on Arrested Development Season 4

Posted in Sweet Streams, TV by Ellen Lloyd

Yesterday, Whitney gave her review on Arrested Development‘s 4th season. While I will always respect her opinions, no matter how wrong they may sometimes be, I felt like I needed to step in and give my opinions, as well. Not in contradiction to her thoughts, but in addition.

I feel that it is impossible to not be somewhat disappointed by things you are excited about, especially when it comes to TV and movies. AD was facing a huge obstacle with this girl considering that I have been waiting with bated breath for this moment for 7 years. At first, it was just a dream, a silly fangirl’s whimsy, but when it was announced that a fourth season was actually going to happen I was more excited than Lindsay with diamond cream. Every production photo made scream like Tobias at a fire… sale and the trailer made me weep like Gob (“Taste the happy, Michael”).

When I watched the first few episodes, I will admit to being slightly disappointed. I missed having all of my Bluths together eating Skip’s Scrambles, doing chicken dances, or asking Michael for money. The jumping timelines were also confusing and I was having difficulty figuring when everything was supposed to be taking place.

However, around episode 5, when Tobias was getting ANUSTART, I realized Hurwitz and Co. were using this fourth season to build on what always made me love AD so much: this show makes you work for the best laughs. I have always loved that I could go back and watch the past seasons over and over and still find new jokes or small nuggets of information that I had previously missed. It seems that with this new season, they are really catering to that quality of the show. They are trusting that we, the stalwart fans who were smart enough to realize the brilliance of this show, are smart enough to connect the story line dots. After a few episodes I was doing just that and being reminded anew of that brilliance, born again to much more daunting levels with this fourth season. I was loving the reveals of everyone’s part in each other’s stories, I was noticing the recurring bits (tipping African-Americans, sexual predators, etc.), and I was getting more and more excited to re-watch all of it to catch all the things I am sure to have missed. The only question now is: How soon is too soon to do just that?

What did you think, “bluepies”? Have you been disappointed? How far have you gotten through the fourth season? Who has your favorite plotline? (I loved Gob, Buster, and Tobias).

– Ellen

28May2013

The Reviews Are In: Arrested Development Season 4

Posted in TV by Whitney Weldon

Listen people, no one, and I mean NO ONE, was more excited about the Netflix release of a 4th season of Arrested Development than me. In fact, this whole month has really just been one big AD cluster-quote (“I’ve made a huge mistake”, “I’M A MONSTER”, “Mr. F”- I could go on). This is why it hurts like a taping of “Boyfights” for me to say that I’ve been fantastically underwhelmed so far with the new season.

I’m not sure what about this season has been rubbing me the wrong way, like cut-offs on a Never-Nude. Maybe it’s because Michael (Jason Bateman), usually the smart brother, is now just as clueless and self-involved as the rest of the Bluth clan. One of the reasons the show worked is because Michael’s character gave the audience someone to root for. Now that Michael’s out of the running for Most Likeable Bluth, it’s a toss up between George Michael and Franklin the Puppet.

This season also has me asking the question, is it possible to be too self-referential? I’m going to have to say yes. The constant allusions to the unfortunate and premature cancellation almost seven years ago are getting a little tired. And while we’re on the subject, I can’t say I’m loving Ron Howard’s transition from wry narrator to on-screen Jerry Bruckheimer rival. I’m fully aware that the purpose of this new season is to serve as a set up for the up coming AD movie, but do we need to be remind of the fact ALL THE TIME?

It’s possible that I’m being altogether too fastidious. I mean, it’s just a show right? WRONG. Some shows just walk in the light (I’m looking at you Veronica Mars, 30 Rock, and Happy Endings). This whole experience has left me wondering if I really want these shows to come back, bringing with them the possibility of disappointment, or just remember them as they were. I hope we’ve all learned something….

ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE.

-Whitney

13May2013

Web Bytes: Arrested Development Season 4 Trailer

Posted in TV, Web, Web Bytes by Ellen Lloyd

What? No, I wouldn’t say I am obsessed with Arrested Development. Just on the brink of peeing my pants with excitement at the prospect of 15 new episodes.

– Ellen

25Apr2013

Web Bytes: Clip from New Arrested Development

Posted in Sweet Streams, TV, Web Bytes by Ellen Lloyd

I think I just blue myself. You can look forward to a forthcoming ode to Arrested Development on this blog, but I am trying to rein in my excitement and not write a million posts (instead I just post a million Facebook statuses about it). Nothing has ever been more difficult.

To whet your appetite until my more lengthy soliloquy, check out the exclusive clip that Entertainment Weekly posted today and try and get as excited as me. I dare you. Unless you’re a chicken. Coo-coo-ka-cha.

Nothing made me more happy than the “all new episodes” at the end.

– Ellen

19Feb2013

Fanmanly: Archer

Posted in Fanmanly, Sweet Streams, TV by Ellen Lloyd

Just to clarify, we don’t think of this “Fanmanly” feature as focusing on entertainment that only appeals to bros, but more focuses on entertainment that is more bro-friendly. That being said, let’s dig into one of my favorite dude-favored shows right now: Archer!

What can I say about Archer other than it is hilarious? As it progresses, I love that this show is similar to Arrested Development in that it totally caters to the fans. “Phrasing” (see below), the danger zone, Archer’s fear of robots, his love for Burt Reynolds, “yuup” and “nooope“, and anything Pam says are all a hundred times funnier when you have watched and loved all of this show.

The voice talent alone should be enough to convince you to watch this show. You have H. Jon Benjamin (Bob’s Burgers) as Archer (who I am ashamedly attracted to and on a related note does anyone else find Benjamin’s voice super sexy?), Jessica Walters (Arrested Development) as his cold but overbearing mother, Aisha Tyler (I remember her from Friends) as the more competent agent at ISIS, Judy Greer (another Arrested alum) as the ditzy, kinky receptionist, Chris Parnell (SNL) as their brainy accountant turned agent, and the unknown to me Amber Nash as the worst HR Director out there.

I will recommend this show with the caveat that it is not for the faint of heart. It is filthy and has its fair share of animated violence, but all that just adds to its…charm? Well, it at least makes for a pretty rollicking, shocking, hilarious, stylistic, spy comedy. Those exist, don’t they?

–Ellen

Archer is available on Netflix Instant

3Oct2012

TV Obituaries: RIP Bent

Posted in TV, TV Obituaries by Whitney Weldon

2012-2012, NBC

As you all know it’s Fall TV season, or as we like to call it, Fangirly Christmas. We get so excited around this time of year that it’s easy to forget about the shows that are no longer with us. One such show is my beloved Bent. Starring David Walton and Amanda Peet, Bent was tragically struck down in its infancy because, and this is just a working theory, the universe is conspiring against me. How else can you explain how a perfectly awesome show could get cancelled after 6 episodes?

Even more confusing is how a show with such a crowd pleasing premise could get axed so suddenly. Alex (Amanda Peet) is a recently divorced lawyer who hires contractor and ex-gambling addict Pete (David Walton) to renovate her kitchen. And because it’s TV, the sexual tension starts to mount almost from the get go. Jeffrey Tambor (of Arrested Development fame) plays Pete’s father, a failed actor who now spends most of his time in drum circles and playing the piano in department stores for tips. Also in the mix is Alex’s perfect-on-paper boyfriend, who is less than cool with Pete and Alex’s “will they, won’t they” vibe. Here’s what happens when these two clash.

When tragedy like this strikes, it’s so easy to become bitter. I, however, would rather honor Bent’s life than mourn its death. So rest in peace, you beautiful piece of TV magic. I’ll miss you, and I’ll miss moments like this.

-Whitney

Fangirly

Where smart girls go stupid for pop culture

Tag Archives: Arrested Development

Fangirly Presents: Why Women aren’t Funny

TV Raised Me, and I Feel Fine

Rocky: It’s Way Better Than You Think

An Interview with Oscar Isaac

The Fangirly Show: Episode # 7 Fangirling Over TV Revivals

Fangirly Birthday Tribute: The Story of Ellen

Fan Rants: Death to the Networks!!!

Grade A, Choice Picks: Top Christmas Episodes

The Reviews Are In: Another Take on Arrested Development Season 4

The Reviews Are In: Arrested Development Season 4

Web Bytes: Arrested Development Season 4 Trailer

Web Bytes: Clip from New Arrested Development

Fanmanly: Archer

TV Obituaries: RIP Bent