Fangirly Crush of the Week: Michael Fassbender

How.

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No.

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Why must God always allow bad things happen to good heartthrobs?

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YES. Exactly.

Today I made a discovery that shook me to my core. My very core. Roughly around the area of my skeleton. The boniest part of me, readers. Because I saw X-Men: Apocalypse this week, I decided to look back at the Fangirly archives and see what we’d written about star Michael Fassbender. The answer? DISGUSTINGLY LITTLE. He’s never been the crush of any week. Nary a mention to be found.

I’m nothing short of shamed and astonished. How did Iggy Friggin’ Azalea get love and recognition before this guy?

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I guess what I really wanted to say is, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that Ellen and I have so deeply betrayed the public’s trust. You’ve come to depend on us to be nothing if not exhaustive in our celebrity crushing. Such an oversight is inexcusable. We will be taking the next seven days off from writing Crushes of the Week to reevaluate, spend time with our celebrity crushes, and get our priorities in order. We’d also like to apologize to Michael Fassbender, who has been our rock through this trying time. Thank you for being the incarnation of masculine perfection.

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Whitney Weldon

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R Rating For Wolverine 3 Confirmed, Leaves Fangirly Dismayed…

Just to be clear, Fangirly doesn’t shy away from an R rating. Some of our favorite releases this year were deemed unfit for moppets of all ages. Deadpool, Spotlight, Ex Machina, Room. But, to be fair, those are the movie one expects to be hit with an R rating. Made by deadpool-2-boyfriend-picgrown-ups, for grown-ups. And what if the increasing commercial success of R rated movies causes this trend to spill into other genres?

Which brings me to Wolverine 3. We get it. Wolverine is edgy; he smokes and drinks and gets laid and takes bad guys to the cleaners. But thus far, the powers-that-be have been able to tame the characters wild side just enough to squeeze out a PG-13 rating. That was true for 2009’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine and 2013’s The Wolverine. So why now the sudden change in direction? Well, because all the cool kids are doing it.

There is a direct line of causation between the BANANAS success of Deadpool and this new development in the Wolverine franchise. And frankly, if that were the extent of it, I apoc9wouldn’t be bothered. But I think we can all agree that superhero movies, from either side of the Marvel-DC partisan line, are getting progressively darker and, much as I hate to use
this word, grittier. To prove my point, let’s look at this summer’s latest cash cow, Captain America: Civil War.

It was amazing right? But can we all agree that with each subsequent film, the Captain cwttss11America franchise has delved deeper into that dark, self-aware realism that has made the sequels so surprisingly wonderful? As an adult audience member, I’m loving it. But I’m not the only demographic at whom these movies are supposedly aimed.

I’ve got this neighbor. His name is Jack, he’s six, and he has the most extensive collection of superhero costumes I’ve ever seen. Picture a first-grader in full batman armor and you’ve got a good idea of what I see every time I look out my kitchen window. The take-away here is that Jack loves superheroes. Which really sucks for Jack, because there’s only a handful of superhero movies his mom will let him watch.

I can’t say I blame her. Would you let your six year old watch The Dark Knight, or Captain Batman-V-Superman-Trailer-3-ArmorAmerica: The Winter Soldier? Or, maybe more to the point, should you? These movies are starting to delve into themes and employ levels of violent realism that kids like Jack just aren’t ready for. And yet these movies, and all their must-have merchandise, continue to be marketed to him.

I just worry that one day, there won’t be any good superhero franchises left for younger audiences, who are, arguably, the ones that need these heroes the most. I don’t want to look out my window and not see Jack running around his yard in full spider-man regalia, keeping the neighborhood safe from evil. I want Jack to still have on-screen heroes he can look up to. Easier said than done, when he can’t even watch their movies.

Whitney Weldon

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Nicholas Hoult

NicholasHoult_620_012213Not all crushes are created equal. In fact, I’d say that 85% of our crushes are based on tepid admiration or a need to recognize male excellence when we see it. This week is not one of those crushes. Right now, we’re all about the star of Mad Max: Fury Road Nicholas Hoult. And I mean, all about. We consider it an egregious oversight that it’s taken so long for Hoult to be offered his rightful placed among our esteemed Fangirly Crush coterie. A surprise, given that his most recent roles have really displayed his beauty to best advantage… Be warned, the following images have reportedly caused spontaneous ovulation among susceptible individuals (ladies and inclined gentlemen)…

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Obviously, celebrity has treated him well but to us here at Fangirly, Hoult will always be the cute little baby-brit who made us laugh, cry, and sort of care about Hugh Grant in About a Boy.

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So we salute you, Nicholas Hoult. Rest assured that if yo shakin’ it, we’ll watch yourself.

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-Whitney

Run-On Sentence Reviews: X-Men: Days of Future Past

X-Men-Days-of-Future-Past-bannerAnother summer movie for which I was beyond excited and I am happy to report that, at least in my eyes, it did not disappoint and that is not just because Fassbender was looking fresh to death because I don’t know if I have made this clear but I find him very attractive but X-Men had other things in its favor because it was one of the best time travel movies I have ever seen, seamlessly depicting both timelines without ever getting confusing and while I can recognize that this may have been a bit slower than X-Men films of the past, I loved all the character development ooey-gooey goodness, particularly Mystique, and despite an enormous cast of heavy hitters, no one seemed wedged into the story but with some of the characters obviously taking a more central role than others (this has to be the least amount of lines that Halle Berry has had in a movie in years) but one of the roles that I wish we had gotten to see more of was Quicksilver who has the best sequence in the movie and is giving Aaron Tyler-Johnson’s Quicksilver in the Avengers 2 a lot to live up to.

Verdict: If you like the X-Men movies, as I do, then definitely go! (If you haven’t already)

Ellen

 

Grade A, Choice Picks: Ellen’s Most Anticipated Movies of Summer 2014

Jake+Johnson+Lets+Cops+Films+LA+lsCPAGbD5qdlSummer, the time for fun in the sun, but more importantly, air conditioned multiplexes.  You can take your beaches and BBQs, I’m all for sequestering myself into dark rooms with strangers and a tub of popcorn. Let’s dive into my top picks for movies to see this summer!

10. Jersey Boys (June 20) I’m a sucker for a good ol’ song and dance routine, especially when it is of the malt-shoppe-doo-woppy variety.  A musical helmed by Clint Eastwood with virtual unknowns has me especially intrigued.

9. Edge of Tomorrow (June 6) This one has had me swayed since I saw the first footage at Comic Con.  It looks like a gritty, sci-fi, Groundhog’s Day and I can get on board with that.

8. Let’s Be Cops (August 13) Movie, you had me at starring Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr.  Also, this is coming out on my birthday.  Happy birthday to me, indeed.

magic-in-the-moonlight-emma-stone-colin-firth7. Magic in the Moonlight (July 25) Yes, yes, Woody Allen is a bit taboo right now, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he makes good movies (most of the time) and that this one stars Emma Stone and Colin Firth.  As an Austenphile, I am contractually obligated to always believe in Colin Firth.

6. The Giver (August 15) File this under “Ellen’s Most Cautiously Anticipated Movies of Summer 2014”.  As someone who loves young adult literature, I am, of course, familiar with the source material here.  The trailer gives me much to worry over in regards to the fidelity, but I can also respect a good adaptation, no matter how unfaithful. The power of Meryl is helping to bolster me.

22-jump-street-red-band-trailer5. 22 Jump Street (June 13) I am sucker for stupid comedies and the previous 21 Jump Street had me hook, line, and sinker.  It was also what convinced me to join the Channing band wagon, because he was funny and that is all it takes with me.

4. Godzilla (May 16) With all due respect to Mr. Jessica Parker, I am excited to see what looks like will be an actually good Godzilla movie.  I also sat in on the Comic Con panel for this one and they talked a lot about how it is less a Godzilla movie and more a character study of people dealing with a Godzilla attack.  Color me excited.

first-official-image-released-from-x-men-days-of-future-past-142959-a-1376897445-470-753. X-Men: Days of Future Past (May 23) The latest trailer has me even more excited for May 23rd.  I love me a good X-Men movie and, Fassbender bonus points aside, this looks like it is going to be good ‘un.  The star power alone should be enough to make it amazeballs.

ebfdbabec18c15c361c93dfc332c852a2. The Fault in Our Stars (June 6) Okay? Okay. This is another adaptation that has me worried, because I am not sure how all of John Green’s amazing book is going to translate to screen, but I am more excited than anything.  Why I am excited to get my cry on, I don’t know, but I am guaranteed a good one.

Zoe-Saldana-Chris-Pratt-and-Dave-Bautista-in-Guardians-of-the-Galaxy-2014-Movie-Image21. Guardians of the Galaxy (August 1) I am taking a leap of faith here, because this could be terrible or too “weird” to find an audience.  But no.  I have faith.  Faith in Marvel and the power of Chris Pratt’s abs, a power that cannot be denied.  Also, hello?  Karen Gillan, Lee Pace, John C. Reilly, and Bradley Cooper as a machine gun toting raccoon?  More than anything, it will be fun to see Marvel work outside of the Avengers.  Don’t make me regret putting you at number one, Marvel.

What has you pumped/nervous?  Let us know in the comments!

Ellen

Web Bytes: X-Men: Days of Future Past Trailer

I don’t mean to brag, but I saw most of this trailer back in July at Comic Con.  (Oh, wait.  That’s right.  I love bragging about Comic Con. )  This doesn’t mean that I was any less excited to see this new trailer this morning.  How rad does this look?!  Granted, I will get excited about any Fassbender/McAvoy vehicle, but especially an X-Men movie.  Which happens to work out nicely, since that is all they have done together.

Anyway, check out the trailer and get excited for May 23rd with me!

 

Ellen