Monthly Archives: October 2014

Fangirly Crush(es) of the Week: The Property Brothers

Posted in Crush of the Week, TV by

Property-Brothers-SingleHappy Halloween! To celebrate, you are getting two for the price of one today.  I have been stuck in a Netflix vortex since they recently added bundles of HGTV and Food Network shows.  My favorite?  Of course it’s those snarky twins, The Property Brothers!  A guy who can give me my dream house on a budget all while cracking wise?  What’s not to love?

Do you like Drew’s more upscale, businessman vibe?  Or maybe Jonathan’s more casual, handyman persona is more your style?  Ideally, I like the man can get his hands dirty, but with Drew’s hair.  Can I get that?

Good news is that they made a video to help you decide (if you are a fan of the show at all, you should definitely watch).

– Ellen

GIF Reactions to the Marvel Phase 3 Announcements

Posted in Movies by

In case you live under a rock or are maybe just less obsessed with any news coming out of Marvel HQ than I am, you may not have heard about Marvel’s presentation today.  Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige took the stage at Hollywood’s El Capitan Theater and gave us, yeah, some news that we have been expecting for a while, but it still set the nerd world into a tizzy.  So much of a tizzy, that I don’t have words so I’m going to rely on GIFs.

First up,

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Now just officially cast Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange and we’ll be in business.

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Strange will be delving more into the supernatural than the other films from the studio and is yet another more out of left field pick for Marvel. I cannot wait. Just remember that only 3 months ago most of us were saying, “Guardians of the what?”

Speaking of that, they moved up the Guardians 2 release date to May 5, 2017.  Who else can’t wait?

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So.  That’s awesome.

Now, for one of our oldies, but goodies…

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And not only is Thor back, but his devious brother, Loki AKA Tom “Yes Please” Hiddleston.

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They announced that Thor’s story would take a dramatic turn post Ultron, so I’m excited to see what happens with Hemsworth and Co.

Moving on to one of their bigger announcements…

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This one has been long speculated by Marvel diehards due to little Easter egg hints throughout the previous films (for example, Captain America’s shield is made of Vibranium, an alloy native to Black Panther’s nation of Wakanda) and it sounds like there are more allusions to come in Ultron.

Also, they later announced that 42′s Chadwick Boseman will be taking on the title role and I don’t think they could have made a better choice. Boseman is a great actor and I am excited to see him in something other than a biopic.

Fans have long been clamoring for more diversity from this cinematic universe, so following Black Panther will be…

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Who runs the world? My guess will be Carol Danvers. No casting announcement was made but I have faith that she will kick ass.

If nothing else, it is exciting to see such a change-up with the Avengers.  Whether Captain Marvel and Black Panther end up being additions or eventual replacements, they should be fun additions to the team.

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I admittedly don’t know a lot about the Inhumans, but I’m still excited. What I DO know is that they are the test subjects of Kree’s attempts to create a sort of super race, so this will obviously be more in the universe of Guardians, which for me just means epic amounts of awesome. Also, we have some pretty solid proof that Marvel does good “team” movies.

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I knew this was coming but TWO PARTS!  While many will see this as a gimmick to get more money, I don’t care. Gimme more. Heck, split both of those and make it four movies.

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The “Infinity” subtitle implies that the big bad here will be Thanos and it will be the culmination of the infinity stones story line (so probably an appearance by the Guardians universe, as well).

After trying to fake out the fans with a misleading Cap 3 subtitle, Fiege revealed the real title card.

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In other words Cap Vs. Iron Man.

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We all knew this was coming but it will be pretty awesome to see this discord between Cap and Iron Man. Two words: Ep. IC.

Now the only problem is the waiting.

Difficult life

–Ellen

Run-On Sentence Reviews: Birdman

Posted in Movies, Run-On Sentence Reviews by

birdman-doubleA run-on sentence review is actually quite perfect for this movie and its almost freestyle jazz pacing that is accompanied by its freestyle jazz drum score but I should say that I am having a hard time recommending this one  but not because it’s not amazeballs good and only because I don’t think it is for everyone because it does have a mystical-ambiguous element that may turn some people off and it has a lot going on because I am pretty sure that I will have to see it at least 5 more times to pick up on all the little things and throwaway lines that are going on in this movie but really this movie came down to the performances because between just Keaton and Norton you have a great movie but then you throw in Emma Stone, Naomi Watts and a surprising Zach Galifianakis and you’ve got a great movie.

Verdict: If you are into your more arthouse picks, then definitely check it out.

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Grant Gustin

Posted in Crush of the Week by

Audi And Derek Lam Kick Off Emmy Week 2012You know what I love about TV? Anything is possible. I mean, network television is the only place where a Disney Prince like Grant Gustin (star of the CW’s new hit The Flash) could convincingly pass as a physics nerd who just can’t seem to get some strange. Do TV executives really think that girls hate math and science so much that we would overlook a guy this seismically sexy because he’s a college educated professional who likes to talk about particle physics? I’m having a really hard time not feeling insulted.

The truth is CW, nobody’s buying it. I honestly believe that this man could play a dumpster-diving cannibal with a bad case of halitosis and a third arm growing out of his neck, and my reaction would still be…

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So, Grant Gustin, we here at Fangirly salute you. You are great, your new show is great, and we look forward to watching you inexplicably not get laid for many years to come.

–Whitney

Get With the Program: Marry Me

Posted in Get with the Program by

marry-me-nbc-hed-2014During Fall Premiere season, sometime you have to step back and objectively evaluate each show based on their respective merits. I said sometimes you have to do that. I can’t. Tried, but can’t.

Which brings me to NBC’s new sitcom Marry Me. Now, my approval of this show was pretty much written in the stars. Firstly, it’s produced by David Caspe (if reading that name does not make you observe a moment of silence for our funny, fallen friend Happy Endings, there is a good chance you are a monster, or possibly have a life). Then there is the dazzling combined on-screen talents of Casey Wilson and Ken Marino, easily two of television’s funniest staples. Wilson and Marino play a couple in a long-term, quasi-committed relationship that gets turned on it’s head when Jake (Marino) proposes. I know, not exactly high concept, but some of the best sitcoms of all time have been based on even less (Cheers, Friends, Scrubs).

The supporting cast is none too shabby either, Tim Meadows, John Gemberling, and Sarah Wright being the most notable. marry-me-hed-01-2014One of the really impressive things about Marry Me is how it tricked us into thinking we’re watching a show about two attractive leads with occasional appearances from a supportive role, when really this is an ensemble. There are a lot of great characters here, and I have a feeling they are going to get the screen time they deserve. Assuming that this show doesn’t get chopped like another David Caspe gem I could mention. Yeah, ABC, still bitter.

-Whitney

Get With the Program: Jane the Virgin

Posted in Get with the Program by

jtvAirs: Mondays at 9:00/8:00c on The CW

UPDATE: The show just got picked up for a full season!

TV show equation:  Jane the Virgin  =  telenovella / Spanish language + occasional Spanish language x better production quality x cheeky self-awareness.

Premise in a Sentence:  At its most basic, Jane accidentally gets artificially inseminated after spending her life maintaining her virginity.

But this show has gone absolutely bonkers.  In the best way possible.  She was inseminated with a sample from her boss, Rafael, who she also had a romantic moment with 5 years ago.  Jane had gone in for a simple exam, but her doctor, Luisa, was discombobulated after walking in on her girlfriend cheating on her.  Luisa realized her mistake when she walked into her next appointment and saw her sister-in-law, Petra.  Oh, yeah, Luisa is also Rafael’s sister.  Also, Jane’s boyfriend, Michael, who she has been holding off for two years, proposes in the midst of all this.

I think that is all I am going to give you for now, because some of the other reveals are far too delicious to spoil for you and I really want you all to give this one a shot.  Even though it has only had two episodes, I’m going to go out on a limb and declare this one my favorite new show of the season (the only possible competition is Marry Me, which get the Happy Endings bump).

If you are anything like me, you heard the premise or saw the promo and had to keep from rolling your eyes, but this show won me over in it’s clear awareness of the ridiculousness of the premise.  If you watch some of those more soapy dramas like Scandal and Revenge and find yourself thinking “Oh, boy, that would never happen in real life but I love it anyway”, then you are really going to like this one.  The show’s humorous narration basically calls out how unbelievable some of the plot can be and to great effect.

This cheeky quality helps the plot to be a lot more fun, but it also helps the show to have tender moments without getting too schmaltzy.  Gina Rodriguez plays the titular Jane with a lot of heart and strength.  Jane’s romantic entanglements are already promising to be intriguing and the other relationships already range from sweet to over-the-top scandalous.

I triple dog dare you to get to the last 10 minutes of last night’s episode,  in which they dropped at least 5 bombshells, and tell me that you are not hooked.  You can’t turn down a triple dog dare.

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Stephen Amell

Posted in Crush of the Week by

Stephen-AmellStephen Amell is pretty crushworthy, especially if you are a fan of Arrow.  His Oliver Queen is the broody, tough guy who really has a heart of gold and is currently wooing the nerdy IT girl.  Le swoon.

More than that, Amell is good to his people.  When I sat in the show’s panel at Comic Con, Amell talked a lot about his presence on social media and how he feels that everyone should be interacting more with their fans because it is so easy to do these days.  He runs all of his own sites but is especially active on Facebook.  He now has about 2.6 million likes and gives a lot back to the fans.  Every Friday is Fanart Friday, every Monday is Meme Monday, with Amell featuring his favorites on those respective days.  He does fan Q & A’s, on set updates, and fan shout outs and I just think it is pretty awesome.

So here’s to you, Stephen Amell.  You’re a pretty cool cat and you’re pretty hot.

I’m just going to leave this here.

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If you like that, there is plenty more where that came from on Arrow.

– Ellen

Lighten Up, DC Comics

Posted in Fan-Rants, Movies by

why-so-serious-the-joker-3122768-1024-768Today DC Comics announced their plans for 10 upcoming movies including The Flash, Aquaman, a stand alone Wonder Woman, Shazam, and 2 Justice League movies.  While this news does excite me, it fills me with some degree of trepidation, as well.  I need to make it clear that I will always welcome more superhero movies because I am a sucker for superhero movies.  However, Warner Brothers’ recent mandate that this upcoming slate of movies will have no humor really does not work for me.

I think I understand why they are doing this.  The Dark Knight Batman movies are far and away DC Comics’ most successful and at least ranking as such for Warner Brothers and those movies are assuredly not the most gut-busting.  At least not in the laughing way.  Removing the humor is also a pretty good way to set themselves apart from Marvel.

It’s pretty clear that DC Comics wants to follow in Marvel’s success and create their own “cinematic universe”, but this really doesn’t seem like the way to do it.  At this point, Marvel is guaranteed success because we know their films are going to be an entertaining, enjoyable, good time at the movies. “Enjoyable” being the key word.  People were wary of the unknown Guardians of the Galaxy but once word got out that it was funny, it became the biggest movie of the year so far.

I had multiple issues with Man of Steel, but perhaps my biggest was that Superman needed to lighten up or at least people needed to make jokes at his expense, otherwise he is just an indestructible pretty boy and who likes those?  Then when you throw characters like Aquaman in the mix, I don’t know how seriously I am going to be able to take it.  Even if he is played by the oh-so-imposing Jason Mimoa.  None of comic book source material is without at least some form of levity, especially The Flash and Wonder Woman, and I have to imagine that the humor of those series has aided in their success.  DC Comics has also done pretty well with their TV series and again, I think a lot of that has to do with the shows being fun to watch.  Even the gloomy Gotham has some laughs.

All that being said, DC, I will still see your movies, I just wish you made it easier for me to look forward to it.

– Ellen

Somebody Convince Me: Game of Thrones

Posted in Somebody Convince Me by

maxresdefaultMy reasons for waiting this long to even attempt breaking into Game of Thrones are manifold. Firstly, because watching HBO’s hottest show is a bit rough when you don’t have HBO. Or an actual TV (bless the internet).  Also, my tolerance for televised incest is pretty low; I mean, that is ground that even Law and Order: SVU fears to tread. And from what I have been told, there is a stunning amount of Bro-Boffing going on in this show, leading me to conclude that siblings in Westeros must not have to share a bathroom. Because I firmly believe that walking into a water closet that your brother or sister has completely destroyed would nip any incestuous inklings right in the bud.

My final reason for steering clear of GoT for this long is that, well, I’ve actually seen George R. R. Martin, and he has got a george-rr-martinparticular look. You know, the Neighbor Who Writes His Own Pornographic Fanfic look. Before you say it, I totally understand how mean that sounds, but LOOK AT WHAT HE WRITES: Hot chicks, dragons, tons of sex and violence. I’m just saying, he fits a very particular profile. So please, someone convince me why I should get over my hangups about today’s most zeitgeisty show and learn to love Game of Thrones.

–Whitney

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Tom Mison

Posted in Crush of the Week by

Fangirly Presents: A Hypothetical Conversation with Crush of the Week Tom Mison, Star of Fox’s Sleepy Hollow.

Whitney: “Hey Tom Mison, I just, uh, wanted to tell you that this season of Sleepy Hollow has been really great so far.”

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“I also wanted to say that you’ve got a great body…”

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“…Of work! Body of work. So uumm, my cousin Ellen wanted me to ask you if you had a girlfriend or something. I mean, I don’t care, but she was all like, ‘oh my gosh, I’m going to stick my head in the oven if he’s someone’s boyfriend’.”

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“Oh, cool. She’ll be super excited. I mean, she spends SO much time on the internet looking up gifs of you. What a weirdo, right?”

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“Uh, yeah, I’m single right now. It’s no big deal. It gives me a chance to do some baking and stuff.”

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“No they’re not! Stop it! You’re so good.”

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“So do you, like, wanna hang out some time?”

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“I’m actually having a really hard time imagining anything else right now.”

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“Sorry, real quick, do you know what an aneurysm is supposed to feel like? I’m just worried that my head is going to  explode all over your fancy period costume.”

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“Oh, it’s cool, false alarm. I just needed to pop my ears.”

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“I am so glad to hear you say that. I totally feel that same way. I wasn’t going to say this before but, umm, I think you are super hot.”giphy (2)

This has been a Hypothetical Conversation with Fangirly Crush of the Week Tom Mison.

–Whitney

Never Judge a Comedy by Its Pilot

Posted in TV by

selfieConfession:  I enjoyed last night’s episode of Selfie.

Last week, Whitney wrote a completely on point review of the pilot and all of her points were valid and true… about the pilot.  Even I killed it in my Marry Boff Kill of Fall TV, but it would seem that the show may improve on closer acquaintance.   In the show’s second episode, John Cho’s Henry showed some manic qualities, which are crucial in a TV comedy, and American Amy Pond… I mean, Karen Gillan’s Eliza was a better blend of self-absorbed and self-conscious.  Henry’s ineptness at Facebook tags had me guffawing, Eliza’s book club persona had me giggling (“Sorry, if I smell like dead people”), and their romantic chemistry is headed in the right direction.  There is nothing that is more likely to sway me than good romantic chemistry.  I am not ready to join the Selfie bandwagon, if such a thing exists, but I am ready to say that I may have judged too soon.

This would not be the first time I have judged a show too quickly, especially when it comes to the comedies.  I gave up on both The Mindy Project and Happy Endings after a few episodes and both have ended up being two of my favorites (though one causes me a lot more guilt than the other).

The fact of the matter is that, more so than dramas, a good comedy is all about chemistry among the cast and that is just going to take some time.  I say the following in generalities, but dramas you can judge by its pilot. Dramas are more about engaging story where the comedies are more about the laughs.  If a drama pilot is not able to establish a plot that at least intrigues with that first episode, chances are that they won’t do much better with their subsequent episodes.

Did anyone else give Selfie a second look?  What comedies did you give up on too early?  Is my theory about dramas completely off base?

– Ellen

The Reviews are In: Gone Girl

Posted in The Reviews are In by

gone_aMy attempt to read Gillian Flynn’s mega-opus Gone Girl was, at best, halfhearted. I like books that end in a marriage, not begin with the end of one. So when Gone Girl‘s film adaptation was announced I thought, “sorry Ben Affleck, but Jane Austen has gotten me this far”. That being said, I did in fact end up seeing this movie during it’s opening weekend. What can I say, what I lack in conviction I make up for in plenty of free time to see movies I previously determined not to see.

And you know what? I totally dug it. Ben Affleck plays Nick Dunne, the husband of missing Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike). Suspicions fall to Nick because apparently most cops are overly familiar with Law and Order and he does, objectively, seem super guilty. And although the audience is clued-in pretty early, it doesn’t make the unfolding of events any less thrilling. And freaky. Think Double Indemnity meets American Psycho meets The Scapegoat. Clear as mud?

Affleck may be the the film’s biggest name but the real star here is Pike. For reasons I can’t explain without initiating a spoiler rosamundgonegirl_640pxavalanche, her performance as Amy is insane, in every sense of the word. This lady is by no means an angel, although we can see how capable she is of perpetuating that myth. Getting to watch the game of psychological ping-pong between Adorable Amy and Demented Amy is a reason in itself to brave going out into the balmy October clime to see it in theaters. Which I recommend, because fictitious or not, insulting Amy Dunne seems like a categorically bad idea.

–Whitney

The Reviews are In: Annabelle

Posted in The Reviews are In by

annabelle_movie_imagesChances are, you’ve seen Annabelle before. Several times. Let me break it down: creepy doll, catholic priest, couple whose marriage was ordained by the casting gods, tragic murder, satanic rituals. ect. Nothing about this movie is new or innovative or shocking. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good.

Horror is a really formulaic genre for a reason. The same tropes and archetypes pop up again and again because they are rooted in what scares us. Annabelle takes advantage of that fact pretty shamelessly, beginning with the happy expectant couple, a Manson-style murder spree, and an onslaught of spooky ‘what the frak’ moments. I won’t synopsize because everything I could say would begin and end with ‘creepy doll’, but I will say that if you are a fan of gimmick-less horror, this one might be up your alley. Or at least up an adjacent alley. Annabelle feels like an homage to old-school scary, a feature length tribute to bygone classics like Rosemary’s Baby and The Exorcist. And while I don’t like the idea that this Conjuring spin-off is turning one of last years best movies into a haunted tent-pole, at least the result was a film freaky enough to do James Wan proud. So if you are looking forannabelle-movie-2 a serviceable, entertaining movie to see this weekend that could potentially derail your circadian rhythm, go see Annabelle. Or Guardians of the Galaxy for the 9th time. Either way, I fully support your decision.

–Whitney

About Last Night: Mulaney

Posted in About Last Night, The Reviews are In, TV by

mulaneyThere are events in life that will never live up to our expectations or hopes for them.  The premiere of Mulaney last night was just such an event for me.

I have listened/watched to John Mulaney’s stand-up an alarming number of times, to the point where some of his bits are deeply ingrained into my daily lexicon. (And seriously, if you have not watched his New in Town special on Netflix yet, you need to re-evaluate your life.)  I was trying to remain optimistic about the premiere of his new show, a multi-cam sitcom loosely based on his own life.  Also, it has a (shudder) laugh track.  But I love his stand-up!  I know he’s funny!  I crush on him!  What could go wrong?  As it turns out, a great deal.

mulaney-ep101_pilot-sce_00568_hires1It’s not that the show didn’t deliver some laughs, but all the laughs came from material with which I am very familiar.  It was beyond bizarre to see one of his best bits, a story about going to the doctor for Xanax with unforeseen consequences, being acted out.  The truth of the matter is that Mulaney may not be the best actor, bless him.  He was a bit too stiff and didn’t have that lovable dork swag that he has when he has the microphone stand in front of him.  But then, Jerry Seinfeld was never a great actor either and Mulaney is obviously trying to take a page (if not a whole chapter) from his book, almost to it’s detriment if you ask me.  The comparison may hurt in getting viewers as people will just write it off as a copy but then it may help retain viewers who remember that Seinfeld opened to not so great reviews.

On top of that, no one felt completely comfortable in their roles and the episode was grossly disjointed as they tried to fit include too many character introductions and too many of his popular bits that all had nothing to do with each other.

All that being said, I am a TV comedy pro and I know that every sitcom needs a solid six episodes to really get into it’s groove.  Also, early reports about the upcoming episodes are that the show gets better.  This show was stuck in development limbo for a while and any show is going to suffer from that, so once again, I am going to remain hopefully optimistic and just hope that my heart doesn’t get broken because it did crack a little last night.

(ASIDE: Mulaney fans, was that Ice-T doing the announcing at the beginning of the episode.  Please tell me that was Ice-T.)

-Ellen

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Iain De Caestecker

Posted in Crush of the Week, TV by

fitzWith the onslaught of Fall TV comes the return of old crushes and introduction of new faves.  The competition this week was pretty stiff, but considering I just binged Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Iain De Caestecker AKA Fitz of the show’s FitzSimmons took the edge.

Even further solidifying his spot in my heart this week (SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW, if you care) is the gut-wrenching, take-my-heart-and-stomp-on-it turn that his character has taken this season.  In last season’s finale, he admitted his true feelings to Simmons and made the grandest of bold gestures and sacrificed his life to give her a chance of saving her own.  We left the season with the status of his health as unknown.  When the show came back this season, Fitz was still there working in the lab with Simmons but it was apparent that he had suffered some serious brain damage as he struggled to find words and to form ideas.  The final blow was when we found out Simmons had left the team months ago and Fitz has only been imagining her as a way to cope.  THE FEELS, right?!

(END OF SPOILERS) On top of all that, Fitz is just an adorable, nerdy, puppy dog of a man in his cardigans and plaid shirts.  What’s not to love? fitz

We have crushed on guys far less deserving.  Some may say that Ward is the more crushable option on the show, but they obviously wouldn’t know me very well.

– Ellen

How Does ABC’s Selfie Suck? Let Me Count The Ways

Posted in About Last Night by

I have one hard and fast rule about Fall TV season: no matter how much you may hate a pilot, it is VITAL that you make it to at least episode two. Because usually, the things we hate about pilots get ironed out during the first season. That is what first seasons are for. If the premise is good and the writing is solid, there is always room for hope. But some shows are so fundamentally flawed, so irreparably stupid that a second look only serves to draw out the inevitable and necessary cancellation. Selfie falls, face first, into this category just like Ellen said it would. Let’s break it down.

abc-selfie-eliza1) Eliza Dooley (Karen Gillan) might be the Worst, and not in a good way. I know that as one of Doctor Who‘s resident red heads, Amy Pond was kind of a polarizing character. And it is totally possible that I am projecting my dislike of The Girl Who Waited onto Eliza, a character with many of the same flaws that kept me from registering with the Amy Pond fan club (selfishness, over-confidence, tends to take others for granted). At least Amy was an interesting character; the most interesting thing about Eliza is her ability to fill two airplane yarf-bags. Which, when you think about it, really set the tone for the rest of the show.

2) Your main character should be redeemable, not reprehensible. By the end of the pilot, we should have had a reason to root for Eliza, and I don’t feel that we ever got it. Most of the attempts to add depth to her character were pretty weak (you mean, she was able to stash her distaste for the office hipster girls long enough to let them clean her apartment, loan her nice dresses, do her hair and make-up free of charge, and generally extend her an undeserved hand of friendship? What personal growth). If you are going to write horrible characters to populate your show, a la It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, at least make sure their horribleness is offset by their hilarity. Which brings me to…

3) Traditionally, TV comedies should be, you know, funny. If nothing else, Pilots should be clever enough to give audiences the idea that, even if the rest of the show isn’t prefect yet, the experience won’t be a total loss. Selfie did not make me laugh once, and I laugh at everything. Seriously. Everything.

4) Being unpopular in high school does not a tragic backstory make. Selfie isn’t the first show to try and make not being selfies-main-character-is-eliza-dooley-dooley-grew-up-being-most-butt-in-high-school-butt-as-in-ugly-so-she-modeled-herself-after-the-most-popular-girl-in-her-school-and-grew-up-to-be-beautiful-but-vapidthe most popular person in high school a credible excuse for sucking in the present, and it won’t be the last. TV comedies can still be fun and lighthearted even if they delve deeper than an unpleasant school dance experience. But Selfie is just as shallow as it’s main character, which is why I’ll be taking my business elsewhere. Better luck next year, ABC!

–Whitney

In with the Old: The Mighty Ducks

Posted in In with the Old, Movies, Nostalgia, Sweet Streams by

Recently, I found myself with some time on my hands and saw that all three of the Mighty Ducks films were on Netflix and thought, “Eh, why not?” I am an adult, therefore, giving me the ability to choose to spend my day watching stupid kids movies. I had a lot of thoughts while watching and thought I would share them with all of you.

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Pretty sure that this movie gave me a misconception about the 1970’s. I thought they were a very hazy time… Actually, maybe it wasn’t too much of a misconception.

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Sometimes I think that Disney is a little too heavy-handed in pointing out that someone is a bad boy. Beer! Loud music! Sassing cops!

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Am I too logical in thinking that this prank wouldn’t work on someone driving by? A passerby, sure, but someone driving by is going to come to a screeching halt to stop in the middle of the street and steal a purse? Maybe I’ve seen too many Russian traffic cams of truckers saving kittens.

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I’m glad that at least the closed captioning gave credit where credit was due. Also, I posit that a kids sports movie cannot exist without the snarky trash talker (see also: Ham from The Sandlot, Tanner Boyle from The Bad News Bears, etc.)

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Seriously, inquiring minds would like to know, is that a phone?

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FART JOKE!

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Gordon Bombay. Possibly the best name in film history. Also, the best shoulder pads in the biz.

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Bombay, you know how movies work, right? Of course, it had to be the Hawks.

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Pretty sure that my brother and I were incapable of going to hockey games between the years of 1993-present (?) without saying this.

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Ah, the good old days when teenage boys had to make do with issues of Sports Illustrated.

md11

You know it’s a 90’s movie when the menacing gang is on roller blades.

md12

Hans is the Yoda of this movie. So wise. So sage.

md13

Little baby Joshua Jackson!

md14

Oh, movie, I don’t need you to tell me when Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch is playing.

md15

Do I need to call Social Services on this 22 year old movie?

md16

Again, this movie is really delivering on the 90’s awesomeness. Roller blading through the mall?!

md17

The movie the made quacking a haunting battle cry to all 90’s kids.

md18

It’s so convenient that the entire team is in this one Chemistry class, despite the fact that some of them look like they are 5 years apart in age.

md19

Gordon, stop quacking!

md20

Don’t we all, Banks. Let the rich kid play, Ducks! The cake-eater has two more movies to do.

md21

This has to be either the weakest net ever or this puck just defied the laws of physics, right?

md22

What publication is this that has front page headlines about a Minnesota Pee-Wee hockey team?

md23

Haha hijinks. Even as a kid, I thought Emilio laughed weird.

md24

Yeah, go for it, Bombay. She will never be able to resist you in that Cosby sweater. What woman could?

md25

Does Disney have a contractual stipulation that there must be a contrived romance that nobody watching the movie will really care about and that won’t last into the sequel?

md26

Again, what is this “Hockey Publication” and where did they get these pictures of these pee-wee hockey coaches? I would really like to see a Newsroom like TV show about this paper.

md27

What kind of douchebag father isn’t going to root for his son’s team? I don’t care how rich your friends are.

md28

Aw, Banks. You took the stick out of your butt. Presh. See you in MD2!

md29

Um, Bombay, you need to win. Haven’t you seen a Disney sports movie?

md30

You just know that they were so stoked on this shot. “Aw man, this is going to look so cool.”

md31

I cannot believe this worked. I’m supposed to believe that these kids who are growing up on the ice have never seen someone do a scratch spin?

md32

Flying V! Ducks fly together!

md33

Bombay, you are not helping the “Coach’s Pet” taunts that he has been getting. Also, what exactly has Charlie done to elicit this confidence? Other than let you bone his mom.

md34

QUACK, QUACK, QUACK! Now THAT’S how you end a Disney sports movie.md35 Wah-wah, Hawks. It’s because you didn’t have a humorous yet cool chant and, most importantly, because you weren’t having fun out there.md36 Hold the phone. Bombay is leaving his lucrative law career to possibly be a minor league hockey player? At his age?

md37

It must really suck for Charlie that he is the only one of these kids with a present parent. She really cramps his style.

Who wants to go watch this movie on Netflix now?  Sorry if I spoiled it for you.

– Ellen