Fangirly Presents: Why Women aren’t Funny

You know what sucks?

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And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, I was informed today that women are, tragically, not funny.

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It’s true.

I know this because the person who let me in on this secret was, himself, blessed with a penis, so you know he knows comedy.

At first I was furious. How could someone make, with such confidence, such a blatantly untrue generalization?

Then I thought about it. And, wouldn’t you know it, he’s right.

Women really aren’t funny.

I mean, we have no sense of irony.

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Woman are historically terrible at physical comedy.

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Honestly, how many women can do impressions?

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I think, and this is just me, that women are too preoccupied with their appearance to be funny.

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And you know who really isn’t funny? Mature women.

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Maybe if we didn’t harp so much about objectification in the media.

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Maybe if we just got better at rolling with the punches.

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If we weren’t so damn prissy. You know, developed a sense of bathroom humor.

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It’s no wonder that male comedians don’t want to work with women.

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And why there aren’t any good female comedy duos.

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Who would have thought that ovaries, those things that launch our transformations into raging hose beasts with each new moon, would be the agents of our comedic destruction?

Let’s rally, ladies. Let’s focus on our strengths. Like wifery.

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And being good at literally everything else.

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Actually… wait…

I think I just thought of a joke.

Ok, bare with me, I’m new at this.

What did the woman say to the dumb-ass who thinks women aren’t funny?

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Get it?

Whitney Weldon

The Fangirly Show: Episode # 7 Fangirling Over TV Revivals

Whitney and Ellen discuss the pros and cons from a bringing back a show from that underworld known as cancellation.  Is it a good thing or bad thing for the landscape of television?  But more importantly, has it ever been done well?  Plus, the ladies lay down their bets for their Fangirly Oscar Pool.  Who will win?   And who will have to suffer the consequences of losing?  (Odds are, Whitney).

You can listen and subscribe HERE on iTunes or you can go HERE to listen and let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

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Choice Picks: The Entertainment Podcasts You Should Be Listening to (According to Whitney)

My name is Whitney, and I work… in an office.

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Everyday presents a new challenge.

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And my co-workers are great.

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In general, it’s just a really fulfilling way to make a living.

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But sometimes, even your dream job can be invaded by occasional moments of tedium and drudgery. I know it’s hard to believe that ennui can set in when you’re making 300 copies of a 90 page, 2-sided insurance document, but it can happen. To combat that, I developed a passionate relationship with podcasts and I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned. Here are the top five podcasts to get you through the workday, according to me (aka The Final Word).

posterBlacklist5. The Black List Table Reads

I like to believe that one day, technology will provide me a way to sit at my desk and watch movies all day while appearing only marginally unproductive. The Blacklist Table Reads is the closest thing we have in 2015. It’s essentially a recorded table read of awesome unproduced scripts, performed by some surprisingly big names. Paul Sheer, June Diane Raphael, Rose McIver, and Parminder Nagra are just a few of the many voices you’ll recognize. If you have even the remotest interest in movies, Black List Table Reads should be a safe bet for you.

4. Science V.

Ok, this one isn’t, strictly speaking, an entertainment podcast. It is, however, absurdly entertaining. This show takes 6507062-3x2-700x467popular science fads and pins them against hard scientific data. Before you panic, it’s not remedial Statistics. The format is really engaging and host Wendy Zukerman feels like a BFF waiting to happen. So far, the show has tackled e-cigarettes, race, the female brain, and lots more. Season one just concluded, but that means all of season one is locked, loaded, and ready to binge.

1435103169-tumblr_np69fuubcu1sez6y5o1_5003. Mystery Show

This one is slightly harder to synopsize. It’s sort of like if Veronica Mars were a Wes Anderson movie. It’s a show that ostensibly solves a weekly mystery, but the mysteries are less whodunnit and more “exactly how tall is Jake Gyllenhaal?”. Not kidding about that. It’s laughably addictive. Just trust me.

2. This is Actually Happeningcover170x170

Another entertaining, non-entertainment podcast. I stumbled across this one by accident and became hooked, in spite of myself. It’s people, just ordinary people, sharing stories. The stories themselves can often be hard to listen to, and a few are admittedly very disturbing. It’s sort of like being at a sleep over, post-3 am. You know, when everyone is talking and sharing intimate details about themselves, and suddenly someone tells the most insane, personal, unbelievable anecdote and no one ever mentions it again? It’s like that.

CHqFPsVWcAIII3l1. Pop Rocket

Pop Rocket is my salvation. Everything I need, I can get from one weekly dose of this show. It’s a round table homage to all things pop culture, hosted by the ineffably charming and hilarious Guy Branum. Every panelist has a particular area of expertise: Guy the Comedian, Wynter Mitchell the Media Strategist, Oliver Wang the Academic, and Margaret Wappler the Journalist. They are all so well spoken, so smart, and so distinctive that they warrant a dedicated Fangirly post of their own (but who has THE TIME?). Point is, you could spend your day trying to make small talk at dinguses with whom you share a work-space, or you could listen to interesting people talk about their passions. I leave it to you.

-Whitney

 

 

 

Fangirly Love Letter: The Gilmore Girls

Being a Latchkey Kid was the best. My parents both worked full time, so in the afternoons I was left to my own weird devices. It usually went as follows:

1) walk inside, dump my backpack where ever convenient (almost always constituted a fire hazard)

2) Eat until the lower half of my face was numb from exhaustion

3) Get dance-y to whatever Now That’s What I Call Music album was collecting dust in the living room stereo

4)Try on all my mom’s old bridesmaid dresses

5) Drink rootbeer out of our fancy dinner glassware and “unwind”

…All of which took about 10-15 minutes. Then it was time to dial into The Gilmore Girls. 

There is not one show, not Veronica Mars, not Buffy The Vampire Slayer, not 30 Rock, that means more to me than TGG

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Everything I learned about the kind of woman I want to be came from this Amy Sherman Palladino brain baby. (My mom is a super close second). This mother-daughter double act was so funny, so clever, so heartwarming/ breaking that Act 1 Whitney was in perpetual awe. In fact, I can date my media mania directly back to Gilmore. Suddenly there just wasn’t enough of this show to meet my consumption needs.

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Lorelei and Rory were so classy,

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So articulate,

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So forward thinking.

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And then, seemingly out of nowhere, the ax fell.

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Gilmore Girls, a network staple and my TV spirit animal, was canceled. It was over almost as soon as it began.

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But from the ashes, a hero emerged. One who would help me to piece together the shambles of my Gilmore-less existence, all for the super-low price of $7.99.  That’s right dweebs, Netflix has the streaming rights for Gilmore Girls. Those of us who loved the show will, on October 1, have a chance to relive the magic again and again, and those of you who didn’t love the show will have a chance to pull your head out of your butt. (Sort of joking. Mostly serious).

Give it a chance guys. You will not be sorry.

Whitney

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The Reviews Are In: The Veronica Mars Movie

Veronica-MarsWhen it comes to the Veronica Mars movie, I’m capable of only so much impartiality. This show has been my world since 2004 and objectivity has never been one of my strengths, anyway. But I will try for the sake of the non-Marshmallows out there to give an honest opinion.

Initially, I was really nervous. Ever since the much publicized kick-starter campaign, the expectations for this film adaptation of (empirically)  TV’s best show were unreal. And I would be lying if I said that all my expectations were met. Some of my favorite characters just didn’t get the screen time I felt they deserved, and I felt like the plot was a bit light. But pretty soon, Veronica started digging up Neptune dirt, and all was right with the world. (Seriously, I’m pretty sure the Earth started spinning again.)

Speaking of Veronica, let’s talk about something that sort of did bother me. The end of season 3 left our heroine in a pretty spectacularVeronica-Mars-trailer mess. PizMarski’s first sex tape had just gone platinum and Veronica’s father had been charged with evidence tampering (a fact the film conveniently glossed over) after doing just that to cover up yet another one of his daughter’s not-so-petty crimes. Fast forward several years later, and Veronica is now a law school graduate with the bright future fans had always hoped for. That is until murder and potential mayhem bring her back to Neptune and the immediate social circle of one Logan Echolls. Not to give too much away, but the next hour of the film mostly consists of Veronica making several pretty self-destructive choices. Choices, we are led to believe by the 300 substance abuse metaphors, she makes because she just can’t help herself. Now, maybe it’s just me, but I had always given VM more credit than that. To me, her crime-solving relapse felt more like an escape route from real life, perhaps made a little too real by the stable relationship and promising career prospects.

Ok, I realize that all sounded pretty negative, but at the end of the day this was a VERONICA MARS movie. Kristen Bell and veronica-mars-movie-loganCo. kicked all the usual ass, and the writing was just as awesome as you remember (or don’t remember, if you are one of the aforementioned non-Marshmallows). I loved it, and not just obligatory Fangirl love. This movie was absolutely worth the wait, and totally worth a sequel. And let’s not kid ourselves, there will probably be a sequel.

Whitney

A Birthday Tribute to Whitney

In years past, I have compiled lists of all of my birthday wishes for Whitney on this, the day after her birth (because I am a procrastinator). My wishes started out somewhat realistic, such as Bones and Booth getting it on and having a baby (NAILED IT! (that’s what he said)), but my wishes have become more unrealistic, such as last year’s wish that I would meet an adorable geek at Comic Con who would build a teleportation device that would allow Whitney and I to be able to watch TV together every night. Because that kind of technology should be used for something important.

What is one to do when their highly unrealistic goals are unattained? Wish for something even more ridiculously far-fetched, of course! Putting it out into the ether is all that matters. The more outlandish the wish, the more likely you are to get some semblance of it, right?

With that, I give you, but more importantly, Whitney, my list of wishes for her on her (day after her) birthday:

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