If you are wondering why two non-psycho, full-grown dames would actually spend time reading Young Adult fiction, let alone deciding who among YA babe pool they would marry, boff, or kill, then you are not alone. At the risk of only further worrying our moms, we decided to bring you our MBK picks for our three favorite YA heroes: Ethan (Beautiful Creatures), Peeta (The Hunger Games), and Four (Divergent).
Marry Peeta: Two words: job security. Peeta is a BAKER in a post-apocalyptic police state where 90% of the population are two reapings away from gnawing off their own fingers. Even if he wasn’t totally dunked in Victor swag, he could pretty much guarantee me a lifetime of rolling in dough (pun fully intended). Also, this kid has been sent to almost-certain death twice now, and I think he finally deserves a pass. Guess what Peets’, the odds are finally in your favor!
Boff Ethan: Hot? Check. Eager to please? Evidently. High School Graduate? Well, two out of three isn’t bad.
Kill Four: How do you like that, Ells? I’m gonna kill your YA soul-mate. I think this finally makes up for the time you let me make a total jag of myself in front of Zachary Levi at Comic-Con 2011.
Whitney has this so clearly wrong that it is disconcerting. I will be contacting the authorities after I am done writing my answers.
Marry Four: The beautiful Theo James aside (look at how introspective he is), I have always loved Four (I have serious hang ups with name Tobias, so he is always Four to me). When you read the books, you don’t even have to physically see him to know that he is a babe, you know? He’s a Man, with a capital “M”, but he doesn’t take anything away from Tris. You then throw Theo James in the mix and it is just the cherry on top. The charming, delicious, delectable cherry on top.
This is based on the following 1) I can’t both boff AND marry Four, so I chose to boff him 24/7, because that is how I imagine our marriage. TMI? I don’t care. 2) The makeout scenes between Ethan and Lena were hotter than those between Peeta and Katniss. I get it Hunger Games
was about more than making out, blah blah blah. Social class warfare matters very little in this game of Marry Boff Kill, that should be clear by now.
Kill Peeta: Look, I am Team Peeta before I am Team Gale, but I am also not a card-carrying member of Team Peeta. I just prefer my YA heroes with a little bit more of a “take charge” attitude. Frosting oneself to look like a tree does not qualify in my book.
Who got it right? Who got it wrong? Who is reporting us to our respective local authorities?
– Whitney and Ellen