Choice Picks: Top Five Fictional Bands I Totally Wish Were Real

I am, by nature, pretty shameless when it comes to my tastes and pop culture preferences. However, I recently had to explain to a 12 year-old why Mouserat was the greatest band ever (which included my own rendition of “5000 Candles in the Wind”) and he managed to make me feel like a total bung-hole in a way only a 12 year-old can. That totally demoralizing conversation forced me to confront the fact that a really disproportionate number of my favorite bands are, umm, not real. To numb the shame, I compiled a list of the best fictional bands, ever.

5) The Electric Dream Machine (It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia)

 

4) Crutial Taunt (Wayne’s World)

 

3) The Wonders (That Thing You Do)

 

2) Clash at Demonhead (Scott Pilgrim v. The World)

 

1) Powerline (A Goofy Movie)

-Whitney

Jane Austen + Doctor Who = Best Thing to Happen to Me EVER?!

Jane TardisSomething you should/probably do know about me is that I am loud, proud, and unabashed fan of all things Jane Austen. And when I say all things, I mean ALL things. You have no idea how much bad Austen fanfiction I have read. Sorry not sorry. (Okay. A little sorry).

Something else that should be readily apparent from reading this blog on the regular is that I also love Doctor Who.  It’s just my cup of nerdy tea.

Now imagine my unadulterated glee when I read this morning that Mark Gatiss, co-creator of another Fangirly favorite (Sherlock) and somewhat regular writer for the good Doctor, has been teasing that he might do a Austen-centric episode.

I.  Would.  DIE.

I wrote enough papers on Austen in college to fill a book, I have read some of her books upwards of 15 times, and if Austenland existed, I would have my ticket. So, it should go without saying that this would immediately become my favorite episode.

Being a Sherlock fan, I know that Gatiss is a total tease, so this could all amount to nothing, but he also wrote the Dickens and Churchill episodes so this is not completely out of the question.

It can and should happen.  In fact, why hasn’t it already?

Ellen

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Chris Evans

IMG_2693You know how some actors can be totally ubiquitous and yet somehow still manage to fly under your radar? In honor of the upcoming release of Marvel’s The Winter Soldier, I thought I’d crush this week on just such an actor. It’s not that I ever actively disliked Chris Evans (although Not Another Teen Movie certainly didn’t help), I just never got around to crushing on him. Which, thinking back, is kind of outrageous. He looks like some weird genetic amalgamation of Sam Rockwell, Gary Cooper, and Jensen Ackles. It shouldn’t work, but it totally does.

I think the real reason I never hopped on the Evans Express was because most of the movies I’ve seen him in are, you know, categorically not great (Fantastic Four, Push, What’s Your Number?, the list goes on). And while I liked him in Captain America: The First Avenger, it wasn’t enough to make me go gonzo. Then I saw Puncture. (Sidebar: this movie should really be mandatory viewing for anyone going into healthcare.) Not that it was a perfect flick; I thought the David and Goliath element was a bit over-dramatized and www.pinterest.comoverall it felt like total Oscar-fodder. But that movie pretty much marked the first time I realized that Chris Evan could actually act, in addition to being aggressively good-looking. Since then I’ve been able to catch some of his good stuff, namely Sunshine and The Iceman, and have been heading down a crazy crush spiral ever since. As if that weren’t enough, he is actually pretty funny. So Captain, we here at Fangirly salute you. Better late than never, right?

Whitney

 

 

 

 

 

Marry Boff Kill: YA Fiction Edition

If you are wondering why two non-psycho, full-grown dames would actually spend time reading Young Adult fiction, let alone deciding who among YA babe pool  they would marry, boff, or kill, then you are not alone.  At the risk of only further worrying our moms, we decided to bring you our MBK picks for our three favorite YA heroes: Ethan (Beautiful Creatures), Peeta (The Hunger Games), and Four (Divergent).

Whitney’s Answers:

josh_hutcherson_as_peeta_mellarkMarry Peeta: Two words: job security. Peeta is a BAKER in a post-apocalyptic police state where 90% of the population are two reapings away from gnawing off their own fingers. Even if he wasn’t totally dunked in Victor swag, he could pretty much guarantee me a lifetime of rolling in dough (pun fully intended). Also, this kid has been sent to almost-certain death twice now, and I think he finally deserves a pass. Guess what Peets’, the odds are finally in your favor!c654bf54d499db03330d9ff31f69d8b5

 

Boff Ethan: Hot? Check. Eager to please? Evidently. High School Graduate? Well, two out of three isn’t bad.

 

DIVERGENTKill Four: How do you like that, Ells? I’m gonna kill your YA soul-mate. I think this finally makes up for the time you let me make a total jag of myself in front of Zachary Levi at Comic-Con 2011.

 

 

Ellen’s Answers:

Whitney has this so clearly wrong that it is disconcerting.  I will be contacting the authorities after I am done writing my answers.

FourMarry Four:  The beautiful Theo James aside (look at how introspective he is), I have always loved Four (I have serious hang ups with name Tobias, so he is always Four to me).  When you read the books, you don’t even have to physically see him to know that he is a babe, you know?  He’s a Man, with a capital “M”, but he doesn’t take anything away from Tris.  You then throw Theo James in the mix and it is just the cherry on top.  The charming, delicious, delectable cherry on top.

eathanBoff Ethan: This is based on the following 1) I can’t both boff AND marry Four, so I chose to boff him 24/7, because that is how I imagine our marriage.  TMI?  I don’t care.  2) The makeout scenes between Ethan and Lena were hotter than those between Peeta and Katniss.  I get it Hunger Games was about more than making out, blah blah blah.  Social class warfare matters very little in this game of Marry Boff Kill, that should be clear by now.
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 Kill Peeta:  Look, I am Team Peeta before I am Team Gale, but I am also not a card-carrying member of Team Peeta.  I just prefer my YA heroes with a little bit more of a “take charge” attitude.  Frosting oneself to look like a tree does not qualify in my book.

 

Who got it right? Who got it wrong?  Who is reporting us to our respective local authorities?

Whitney and Ellen

Web Bytes: The Office Time Machine

qqqqqqqqqqqqqDo you ever encounter something that make you feel like your entire life has been a waste?  Like you have nothing to show for your time here on Earth?  These were the feelings I had when I saw “The Office Time Machine“, an internet project by Joe Sabia.  Basically, he went through all of The Office and picked out every cultural reference made on the show and compiled them in videos by year of the reference.

It’s pretty bonkers and has to be seen to be believed.

Ellen

Run-On Sentence Reviews: Divergent

DIVERGENTI should start this out by saying that I am going to be biased in my review because I read and loved the book but I also can’t say that I understand the unfavorable reviews because I feel like I can safely say that the movie was not as bad as the Rotten Tomatoes score might lead you to believe, I mean, sure, it had to get through a lot story and sometimes felt a little rushed but I thought that it was an action-packed good time overall and that Shailene Woodley did a good job of playing tough and vulnerable and that HOLY FRIJOLES Theo James is the greatest thing to happen to movies in a long time because I dare you look into his eyes and not melt of course I am again biased because Four has been one of my top literary crushes since reading the book.

Verdict: It has its flaws but is still a great big screen experience.

Ellen

Fangirly Exposed: Drop Dead Diva

drop-dead-diva-photoSometimes I think I might not feel guilty enough about my guilty pleasures. I won’t hesitate to tell someone that I love America’s Funniest Home Videos because watching a dog/grown man fall into a bathtub is HILARIOUS. I also have no compunctions about admitting that I’ve watched Frozen twice since, like, yesterday. So why then do I feel so reluctant to disclose to the nine people who read this blog that I happen to be the most rabid Drop Dead Diva fan in creation? Does it have anything to do with the fact that it airs on Lifetime? No friggin’ doubt. It’s kind of hard to take yourself seriously when your favorite show is preceded by a made for TV movie starring Kristy Swanson and immediately followed by an all new episode of Devious Maids. Or it might be because DDD‘s idea of an exciting guest star is Joan Rivers or Wendy Williams as a saggy expert witness or a sassy judge (respectively). Whatever the reason, I’m usually pretty loath to tell people that watching this show is how I like to spend a Sunday night. Drop-Dead-g

The premise is pretty standard Lifetime fare. Aspiring super-model Deb dies in a car crash and is reincarnated as a plus sized lawyer. Cue the lessons on body image and self-acceptance, right? Well, yes and no. Part of the show’s charm is that it tricks us into thinking that we haven’t seen this all before. It easily could have veered toward preachy and instead gave us a super cool heroine that likes herself as she is. As I write this I realize how much it really sucks that this is a novel concept.

Oh, and it’s hysterical. Balls to the wall droll. Absolutely worth a binge watch, especially now that Netflix is streaming all five seasons. So go grab a Gatorade, call in sick, and make me proud!

-Whitney

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Iggy Azalea

iggy-azalea-650I am making Fangirly history here and choosing our first ever girl crush of the week!  But really after the week I have had, it was no contest.  I am just a wee bit obsessed with Iggy Azazlea.  And when I say “wee bit”, what I mean is that I have been listening to her on repeat, I now know her life story after internet stalking her, and I have been caught up in a YouTube vortex of Iggy Azalea videos.

The main reason that she is so crushworthy is that she is just TOO cool.  I wish I could have a modicum of her swag, but alas, I am too white.  And yes, I realize that she is white.  Also, I feel comfortable enough in my sexuality to come out and admit that the girl is hot.

Seeing as how we are both straight, it probably wouldn’t work out. At the very least we could watch and enjoy Clueless together, though.

Ellen

Web Bytes: Trailers for The Giver and Step Up: All In

On the list of my favorite things, YA novels and dance movies both rank pretty high.  Imagine my excitement when I got trailers for both The Giver and a new Step Up this week.

Yes, it looks like it may not be very faithful to the book, but HELLO!  It has Meryl freaking Streep!  Also, T-Swift.

An all-star Step Up movie?  It’s only all of my wildest dreams coming true.  “Does it always have to end up in a big giant dance battle?” Yes.  Yes, it does, Moose.  And don’t you dare take that away from me. – Ellen

Fangirly Exposed: Ellen’s Ab Workout

more-than-absAre you sick of ab machines from infomercials that just don’t work?  Are you sick of exercise fads that supposedly give you rock hard abs but really just force you to attend classes of women who are much more graceful than you? Are you sick of doing stupid crunches?  Just me?  Oh, well. Moving on.

Have I got the workout for you! And the best part is that you can do it in just three easy steps:

  1. Drive your car
  2. Play your most bumpingest tunes
  3. Dance

IMPORTANT: Don’t stop dancing just because you are stopped next to someone.  Stop lights are the perfect opportunity to get a deeper burn and anyone who seems to be judging you is just jealous that they are not having as much fun as you on their commute.

Confession time: I am possibly the world’s most unabashed car dancer.  If you have ever driven with me and think you have seen the extent of my car dancing, you ain’t seen nothing yet.  There is nothing like releasing all my pent up energy after a long work day by  getting down in my car.  Or at least, as far down as California State law allows.

Maybe it is just my particular kind of car dancing, but I noticed that it is extremely effective as an ab workout.  After long road trips, I’m wiped. For me it is all in the pelvis.  This makes it sound like I am doing some freakdancing but really, it is the only part of your lower body that can move while still working the gas and brake pedals.

There you have it.  Let’s get physical, people!

Ellen

Choice Picks: Top Five Best Sci-Fi Movies of All Time

I recently got into an unreasonably heated argument over what film has earned the title of “Best Sci-fi Movie”. The opposition tried to make a case for Donnie Darko and I responded, with all my natural eloquence, by fake-barfing into my hand. To put an end to the debate once and for all, I decided to make a list of the 5 best Sci-fi movies and publish it on the internet, thereby validating my every word.

timer-movie5) Timer (2009)- I stumbled across this science fiction-y rom com at the height of my (on-going) Buffy phase, and have been geeking out over it ever since. Emma Caulfield (or Anya the Ex-Daemon, for you Buffy fans) lives in a world where people are implanted with devices that count down to the moment they meet their one true love. For a movie with such a dorky premise, it rules pretty hard and begs the question why Emma tumblr_m4wcl0mljp1qbxh0uo1_r3_500Caufied isn’t an enormous movie star.

4) Alien (1979)- If nothing else, this movie earned a place on the list because it illustrated the beauty of childbirth better than any high school health class video ever could.

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3) Starship Troopers (1997)- This one has literally all the elements of a Sci-fi movie. Monsters. Space, and ships to travel therein. A really hot guy who never starred in anything else. Boom. You have a classic. Love you Ricco.maca

2) Mac and Me (1988)- It’s just a much, much better version of E.T., guys. Get over it.

1) Sunshine (2007)– In all seriousness, this probably is the best Sci-fi movie of all time. Mostly because it’s heavy on the sci without being a Nova documentary. A Q-Ball (or a non-topological soliton, obviously) infects the Sun, causing a premature solar winter. Like, four and a half billion year premature. Earth’s only option is to send a team movie-sunshine_00211710of questionable qualifications and unambiguous hotness to restart the sun, using a nuclear bomb and a dope spaceship. Like most Sci-fi movies, this one sounds pretty hilarious on paper but is actually kind of wonderful.

-Whitney

The Reviews Are In: The Veronica Mars Movie

Veronica-MarsWhen it comes to the Veronica Mars movie, I’m capable of only so much impartiality. This show has been my world since 2004 and objectivity has never been one of my strengths, anyway. But I will try for the sake of the non-Marshmallows out there to give an honest opinion.

Initially, I was really nervous. Ever since the much publicized kick-starter campaign, the expectations for this film adaptation of (empirically)  TV’s best show were unreal. And I would be lying if I said that all my expectations were met. Some of my favorite characters just didn’t get the screen time I felt they deserved, and I felt like the plot was a bit light. But pretty soon, Veronica started digging up Neptune dirt, and all was right with the world. (Seriously, I’m pretty sure the Earth started spinning again.)

Speaking of Veronica, let’s talk about something that sort of did bother me. The end of season 3 left our heroine in a pretty spectacularVeronica-Mars-trailer mess. PizMarski’s first sex tape had just gone platinum and Veronica’s father had been charged with evidence tampering (a fact the film conveniently glossed over) after doing just that to cover up yet another one of his daughter’s not-so-petty crimes. Fast forward several years later, and Veronica is now a law school graduate with the bright future fans had always hoped for. That is until murder and potential mayhem bring her back to Neptune and the immediate social circle of one Logan Echolls. Not to give too much away, but the next hour of the film mostly consists of Veronica making several pretty self-destructive choices. Choices, we are led to believe by the 300 substance abuse metaphors, she makes because she just can’t help herself. Now, maybe it’s just me, but I had always given VM more credit than that. To me, her crime-solving relapse felt more like an escape route from real life, perhaps made a little too real by the stable relationship and promising career prospects.

Ok, I realize that all sounded pretty negative, but at the end of the day this was a VERONICA MARS movie. Kristen Bell and veronica-mars-movie-loganCo. kicked all the usual ass, and the writing was just as awesome as you remember (or don’t remember, if you are one of the aforementioned non-Marshmallows). I loved it, and not just obligatory Fangirl love. This movie was absolutely worth the wait, and totally worth a sequel. And let’s not kid ourselves, there will probably be a sequel.

Whitney

Fangirly Investigates: Is There Anything That Will Make Me Feel Older Than 90’s Nostalgia?

In short: No.  With the exception of the recent 00’s Buzzfeed lists that I have seen.

I suppose the recent rash of 90’s nostalgia makes sense.  After all, it was about 10 years ago that 80’s nostalgia was in full swing and boy, did I ever rock some 80’s music and clothes in high school. It only seems fair that the 90’s have their turn.

Really all this nostalgia for the 90’s makes me feel old because it is the first decade that I actually remember, having been born in 1987. But I have decided to just embrace nostalgia and not get down on how old I am getting (AHH!) and enjoy videos like the one below that sends up one of my fav movies from the 90’s.  Like, whatever.

Ellen 

Fangirly Exposed: Trashy UK Daytime Television

jeremy-kyle-707104470-1991701I was recently having a discussion with my dad lauding how great British TV has been lately.  Sherlock, Luther, Downton Abbey, Broadchurch, for just a few examples.  While he and I both agreed that American television could take a few hints in terms of season lengths, etc., I thought it only fair to point out that we think British television is great because only the good stuff makes it across the pond.

To further prove my point, I decided to look into trashy British television and from there, I spiraled.  I stumbled upon full episodes of The Jeremy Kyle Show, a show that is very similar to our Maury or Montel in that there are a lot of paternity tests and lie detector results and the dredges of British society are paraded out for our amusement.  I can’t quite explain why, but I have now watched a LOT of The Jeremy Kyle Show.  Like, a lot, a lot.

I could just say that this appeals to that part of all of us that likes trashy television and it does, but I think it goes further than that.  Listen, there are few people that watch more BBC period dramas than this girl, almost to the point where I have romanticized Britain to ridiculous levels.

542801-jeremy_kyle_freaks

That being said, it has been quite cathartic for me to realize that while there may be a few charming blokes with dashing accents, it turns out that there also quite a lot of toothless baby daddies whose accents are nearly incomprehensible.

Jeremy Kyle, I thank you for dashing all my hopes and dreams.

Ellen 

Fangirly Poetry: A Salute to Joss Whedon

joss-whedon-scary-smash

These shows you’ve probably come across,

At 2 AM online

Written by he who goes by Joss,

Whose cool one can’t define

He’s probably murdered more folks than,

The Thoroughbred of Sin

And you need not be a super-fan,

To know where Buffy’s been

Since the days of Firefly,

For Fillion we clamour

And I should warn you, by the by

His fist is not the hammer

It’s said that Joss is the nicest guy,

A cab he’ll probably hail ya

Or perhaps the keys for you he’ll buy,

To a Shiny New Australia

He made us fall in love with Spike,

Easier said than done

Entertained us through the writers strike,

Which, I hear, they won

Your favorite characters he’ll surely kill

And leave you somewhat reeling

And yet I sing his praises still

You know, Once More With Feeling

-Whitney

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Whitney’s Rom Com MASH Mania!

cluelessBeing a twenty-something undergrad with no marketable skills and a crippling TV habit can have a lot of fun upsides (all day Joss Whedon marathons, low-budget Oscar parties, a staggering collection of Doctor Who merch). Low-paying menial jobs are not one of them. Luckily, I found a way to numb the drudgery without ever having to resort to pills or after work fight clubs. I call it RASH, or Rom Com MASH. It combines all the randomized fortune-telling nonsense of a MASH game with the Romantic Comedy tropes we know and love, effectively allowing you to build your own rom com. Allow me to demonstrate:

1) First list your possible Leading Men

  • Christian Slater
  • James Van Der Beek
  • Tom Hiddleston
  • Chris Evans
  • Adam Scottwhat's your number anna ferris 615

2) Next list your character’s possible career. This is important because it tells your audience what kinda gal you are without requiring any actual character development. For the purposes of this example, I’m going for the ol’ Driven-But-Emotionally-Unfulfilled-Career-Woman. Classic.

  • High ranking magazine editor
  • Journalism student looking for her big break in the big city
  • talented cardiac surgeon who needs someone to work on her heart
  • you get the idea

3) Now think up some possible Meet Cutes. Decide how you and your squeeze first meet.

  • Oh no! You try to hail the same cab in the rain
  • You are mismatched co-workers in a very cramped office space
  • you both are chosen to fight for your lives in a dystopian death match in post-apocalyptic America (my personal favorite)

010213_1458_WhateverHap1This process can go on for a while. Who’s going to play your spunky BFF? What’s your movie’s theme song? What’s your Box Office take? Once you’ve got your categories lined up, all that is left to do is play! Believe me, if you are a cinephile with a lot of time on your hands, this is your game. Share your results in our comment section!

Whitney