Fangirl Correspondence: A Letter to Whitney

My Dearest, Darling, Lovely Whitney,

Words cannot express my exuberance upon the receipt of your letter. Your aptitude for the written word is quite unparalleled.  I think often of our time together with great fondness.

I imagine that this was swiftly followed by a viewing of some film featuring Sir Brendan Fraser.  As I remember, for you, his superior was never met back in those days.

I mean, how could it?

My time has been spent caring for a certain Mr. Steve Rogers.

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I’ll let you decide which Steve Rogers I am talking about?  I will give you a hint, though.  This Steve Rogers delights in waking me up in the morning to go potty and not for more, ahem, enjoyable pursuits.

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Most of this month has been spent getting through the season finale… season.  It has been exhausting.

Difficult life

Also, reading more stupid/wonderful romance novels than I would care to admit, but here is an accurate reenactment.

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You would think that amidst all this CRUCIAL reading and TV watching I could have maybe found time to keep writing, but…

I regret nothing Also, and this is of the utmost importance, I need to know when you are coming to visit me.  This will be an accurate reenactment:

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Think about and know that I miss you quite dearly.

Everlastingly yours,

Ellen

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Fangirl Correspondence: A Letter to Ellen

My Dearest Ellen,

Gracious, how long it’s been! Why, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of your radiant company since we danced together at your brother’s wedding. Too long by half, fair cousin.

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(I do apologize for the inclusion of Sam’s wayward eyebrow. Those things have no concept of personal space.)

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Enclosed is a picture of me, being just too Kevin Bacon for my own damn good.

As so much has happened since we last tore it up, I beg only a few short lines to fill you in…

I started taking better care of myself.

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I’m seeing someone new…

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(#wordplay)

I’ve made Pinterest my prison wife.

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I have resolved, many times, to watch less TV and dedicate myself to my studies. A resounding triumph, obviously.

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And now I’ve moved home for the summer, where accommodations are decidedly less expensive.

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I hope that this letter finds you well, and still the baddest of mama jamas.

I’ve also included an artists rendering of what you and I will look like in 20 years. I hope you are as trilled with the results as I am.

Yours Ever,

Whitney

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