Summer 2013 AKA The Worst Summer Blockbusters… Ever?

puyallup-movie-theaterIt has always been my philosophy that summers at the movie theaters are the best summers.  It’s a big dark, air conditioned room that smells of popcorn and shows the biggest movies of the year.  What’s not to like?

Most summers, I am prepared with my list of must-see-opening-weekend movies followed by the movies for which I can bear to wait a week.  However, as I reflect back on the past few months, I find their offerings to be lacking.  We didn’t have that movie that everyone seemed to be talking about, at least not in a good way.  The movie that you ran out and told all of your friends to see.

This could be a result of Hollywood’s determination to remake and sequelize anything and everything (Iron Man 3, Despicable Me 2, Star Trek 2, Man of Steel, Monsters University, Fast & Furious 6, etc.).  That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy some, if not all, of these movies, but let’s spice it up a little, people!

Am I being too cynical about this summer’s fare?  Am I am alone in feeling disappointed?

Ellen

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Run-On Sentence Reviews: Austenland

AustenlandIt is no secret that I am a Janeite, Austenphile, or whatever you want to call it (proof of which can be found here, here, here, here, and here) so of course this movie was made for the likes of me because it is about a girl who just can’t seem to separate fiction from reality and wishes that modern day romance was a little more like it is in an Austen novel and I know that any of my friends reading this are rolling their eyes because this could be my bio pic but I would like to point out that I am not nearly as pathetic as the heroine played here by Keri Russell but I would also spend way too much money to go to Austenland where one lives like an Austen heroine especially if said Austenland has JJ Feild as Mr. Henry Nobley (worth the price of admission) who makes a bad first impression on Jane (sound familiar?) and Bret McKenzie as Martin the stable boy.

Verdict: While this movie can be a bit too silly and a little over the top, I know that any fan of Austen is going to have a jolly good time watching it, even when it hits a little too close to home.

Ellen

Fangirly Exposed: Big Brother

big-brother-600If it feels like this blog has been out of commission for most of the summer, it is because it has been.  Your suspicions are well-founded.  I would love to say it is because I was away working for Greenpeace or some other such worthy cause that will better the world for posterity, but really it is because I have been reading trashy romance novels and falling into the deep, dark hole in the ground that is Big Brother.

I realize that this the show’s 15th (!) season and that this is not in any way a hip or cool new obsession.  Hip and cool do not equal any show on CBS, let’s be honest.  But seriously, have you watched this show?! It is addicitive!  And once you get sucked in, it is like a full time job because it’s on 3 nights a week!

Wait, it gets worse!  I also subscribed to the Big Brother Live Feeds where I can watch the house guests laze about and back stab 24/7.  It’s not healthy.

Even longtime fans of the show will be disappointed in me because this generally considered the worst sesason ever, rife with showmances, racism, and truly despicable players, but it is train wreck from which I cannot look away.

If you also watch the show, make me feel better by commenting to let me know that I am not alone and we can talk game.  Just know that I respect Amanda’s game (shocking!) and will be sad to see Aaryn go (unheard of!).

Ellen

Ellen’s (Late) Birthday Ballad

Yes, this is coming a few days late, but hopefully you won’t hold that against me Ellen, because I’m pretty sure that this is the Sistine Chapel of birthday poems. Now, keep in mind that this one works best if you picture it being sung by Sam Elliott on the open plains, strumming a guitar and eating beans out of a can. Happy Birthday, nerd.

There once was a girl with Game to spare,

A bespectacled lass with long brown hair,

Who often went by the name of Ellen,

In LA, where she was Dwellin’.

She had a cuz who loved her dearly,

Though they only hung out but once, yearly.

To butts, she had a sore addition,

And a proclivity for Jane Austen Fan Fiction.

Her Oscar predictions were never wrong,

And her sass rivaled that of River Song.

It’s rumored that Jake Johnson wanted her body,

And her fashion sense was never thought gaudy

I’ve heard she ganked many a ghost in her time,

And boffed Dean Winchester in his prime.

Penny Hearts thought she was A-mah-zing,

Wayne Campbell thought her a mighty “SCHAAAAWING!”

This chick, so full of vigor and vim,

Could jam a uke like Tiny Tim.

For these reasons, and many more,

On her Birthday we party like it’s 1994.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this birthday toast,

From that cousin, who loves you the most.

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