Fan-Rants: Too Far SNL, Too Far

tqq2fftrgyvppodtgtppThe day Saturday Night Live stops making raunchy jokes is the day I stop watching. Innuendo and crassness were the solid foundation upon which SNL was built. But can we agree that there is a line? That there are jokes that, while totally acceptable on a un-rated stand-up special, have no place on network TV. Well, Pete Davidson’s SNL debut during the 40th season premiere went there and made itself at home.

I’m not saying that I didn’t find the “Talk Business” bit completely hilarious, because I did. It just wasn’t appropriate for SNL. If you’re thinking, “but Whitney, inappropriate is where SNL lives!” you would be right. But there’s a difference between clever, subversive humor and being gross for laughs.

More than anything, this tells me that there are probably just not enough chicks in the SNL writer’s room. Because you know that if someone had tried to get away with something like this during the Tina Fey years her response would have been…

tina-fey-6I’m pretty sure she would have laughed first, but after the lizzing had subsided, Bossypants would have told the guy to fix it or nix it. Sadly, these are not the Tina Fey Years. Most of TV’s funniest women have taken their act elsewhere, leaving audiences with sorta funny, way too explicit Weekend Update segments about what today’s youth are willing to do for a million dollars. I guess that’s what happens when over 80% of your writing staff is made up of sweaty, y-chromosome-bearing comedy dorks. Which begs the question: where are all the sex jokes coming from anyway? I thought writers were supposed to write what they know.



Web Bytes: Dylan O’Brien’s Saucy Snake Hips

If there is one thing I know how to do, it’s how to pay the minimal amount of attention in class. To that end, Dylan O’Brien (Teen Wolf, The Maze Runner) and his super-fresh moves have really helped me step up my game. In fact, I haven’t paid attention in statistics for weeks now. And don’t worry mom. The odds of my failing are pretty slim. (I think. Like I said, I haven’t really paid attention in stats).


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Get with the Program: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

agents-of-shield-season-2Like a lot of you, I was super excited for Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D because I felt, much like that SNL skit this weekend, that Marvel could do no wrong.  And then like a lot of you, I watched the the first few episodes of the show and wrote it off.  The adorableness or FitzSimmons aside, it wasn’t doing much to keep me invested, but then like a lot of shows, I heard that it got better about halfway through the first season.  As a TV fan, I should have known that it would have, so I gave it another try.

Now that I have caught up, I am ashamed.  I should have had more faith in both Marvel and the wide, wild, world of Whedon because this shiz went bananas. Like, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

I really don’t want to spoil too much, as this is a post trying to convince you to start watching the show, but I am going to vaguely lay out reasons you should play catch up with this one.

1) Watch if you love the Marvel Cinematic Universe – Again, no spoilers, but the show has set itself up as a pretty fascinating companion piece to all of your favorite Marvel films and seeing as how Marvel seems to be the blockbuster juggernaut that cannot be stopped, I don’t see it running out of material anytime soon.

2)  Watch if you love Whedon – Yes, Joss has a minimal executive producer presence, but his longtime collaboraters and family members, Jed Whedon and Maurissa Tancharoen (they’re married, aww) are the showrunners and all the writers pretty much nail Joss’ tone on the head.  You know the tone I’m talking about?  That mix of cheeky, funny, action-packed, and heartbreaking?  That’s the one.

3) Watch if you love love – Maybe you will like SkyeWard or FitzSimmons or Fitzskye or May and Coulson or MayWard or all of them.  S.H.I.E.L.D has you covered on the sexual tension front and if you like the same couple as me, your heart will be broken when you get to the premiere of season 2.

Are you watching S.H.I.E.L.D.?  Let’s chat because I am deep in it now.


Fangirly Crush of the Week: Jessica Lange

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????I present to you a pop culture syllogism: if you like good TV, then you like American Horror Story; if you like American Horror Story, then you LOVE Jessica Lange. Therefore, if you like good TV, you love Jessica Lange.

It was recently announced that Lange will be making the fourth season of AHS her last. If you are wondering how the show can survive without her, you aren’t alone. For now, we’re going to enjoy the guts out of Freakshow and revel in Constance-Sister-Jude-Fiona’s last season. Thanks for proving that there are still great roles for gracefully aging women in TV. And the four years worth of reoccurring nightmares. Can’t forget about those.



Fangirly Spotlight: The Genius Responsible for THIS

Every day on my way from Human Development 1500 to Math 1040, I pass this informative but super forgettable sign.


But not today. Some brilliant weirdo, in a fit of genius, turned this ordinary construction sign into something magical…

photo 3

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you do. I do know that every moment we are not best friends is a moment wasted.


About Last Night: The Most Perfect Big Brother Finale

I know that not many of you will care, but last night my summer obsession Big Brother ended in the most perfect way with mastermind Derrick taking home the title of Big Brother champ, $575 grand, and the distinction of being one of the show’s greatest players ever.  His game was the perfect blend of calculated, underhanded, subdued, and genius.  It may not have always made for the exciting TV but it made for some pretty dang fascinating TV.  It is gameplay like Derrick’s that gave me no choice but to respect the heck out Big Brother.  Yes.  I just said that.  It’s just so good, you guys.


In other news that brought me irrevocable joy: Frankie Grande did not win the title of America’s Favorite Player, a title which he instructed his sister, Ariana Grande, to tweet about to her fans and have vote for him.  Frankie’s self-aggrandizement and utter disingenuous nature throughout the season drove me crackers, so this face right here when they announced that he was not even in the top three made it all worth it.



I really could go on and on about my love for this show and Derrick’s game, but I have already talked the ear off all my friends who like the show.

Big Brother, I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go.  As long as you go with a finale like that.

And Cody, I will miss looking at Cody.

cody 2 cody 3


Fan GirlTalk: Why No Girl Should Date Danny Castellano in Real Life

For the third season in a row, Danny Castellano (Chris Messina) has made it nigh on impossible to watch The Mindy Project in company.



But let’s not kid ourselves ladies (and pertinent fellas), Dr. Dan would make a horrible boyfriend. Allow me to present my case using moving, captioned pictures.

1) He’s the worst kind of mama’s boy, AKA mama’s full-grown-employed-man-who-should-really-know-better.


2) He’s the office D-Bag, and on this show, that’s saying something.


3) Not super attentive.


4) He says things like THIS. To women. In public.



5) And lest we forget, he recently initiated this…


culminating in this traumatizing (for me) breakup.


To which he responded…


Well, as long as he’s sorryright?

I should make it clear that these objection would carry a lot more weight if he wasn’t capable of this.



Actually, forget I said anything. Proceed with your regularly scheduled crushing.


Marry Boff Kill: New Fall 2014 TV Shows

You may not have noticed, but we love TV here at Fangirly.  Like, love love.  So much so that I attachments I form to my shows are lasting and real.  I thought I might try and predict which shows I want to spend my life with/have a one-night stand with/give the axe.


gothamGotham – As Whitney so perfectly summed up yesterday, this show has some things working against, but from where I sit, it is one of the most promising of this new crop of shows.  I’m a little hesitant to tie myself to a show that is almost exclusively comprised of villains as that may get trying, but i have faith in the human decency of Baby Commissioner Gordon.

marry meMarry Me – Do you know what else I have faith in?  The creative team behind Happy Endings.  Comedies always take a bit longer to find their groove, so even if I am not sold on this one within the first few episodes, I am going to stick with it.  I initially gave up on Happy Endings after the first couple of episodes.  It makes me weep to think about how I was part of the problem.  I will not do the same thing to this show.  If only for the possibility that someday the whole cast of Happy Endings will guest star as Wilson’s old college friends or something.  Have I mentioned that I love Happy Endings?

the flashThe Flash – Those smarty-pants at DC Comics and The CW know how to guarantee an audience for a new show.  Just air a back door pilot during a show that already has a rabid fan base and then guarantee crossover episodes for years to come so that said fan base has no choice but to also watch the new show.  I also saw this pilot at Comic Con and it promises to be a fun, poppy, comic book romp.


janethevirgin_pilot_1_1200_article_story_largeJane the Virigin – I am not just picking this because it is humorous to boff the “virgin show”. Back when the promo for this show came out, it would have gotten a kill, but early buzz is pretty good with great reviews for star Gina Rodriguez and it is not too hard to convince me to watch a sweet CW show.

Mulaney – Please be good, Mulaney, please be good.  There is a lot riding on this one for me.  If it is good, I will get a weekly dose of John Mulaney’s patented blend of dorky, pop culture infused stand up.  If it is bad, I will cry.  The multi-cam format with a laugh track has me worried but I am trying to be optimistic.

gracepointGracepoint – I haven’t yet gotten around to watching the UK source material, Broadchurch, but I feel like that may work in my favor for this US version.  Bonus boffability points for David Tennant with an American accent. I’m weirdly into it.


selfieSelfie –  There is so much here that I want to like.  I mean, Karen Gillan in a My Fair Lady retelling?  What’s not to like? I don’t know but this looks kind of stupid.

Scorpion – CBS hammered the final nail in this show’s coffin when it obnoxiously self-promoted on my beloved Big Brother.  Stay out of my trashy television!

Cristela – This show seems to be cashing in on the ethnically-diverse-female-who-pokes-fun-at-her-weight card that Mindy is already working.




About Last Night: The Gotham Premiere

If the Oscars are fangirl Christmas, then Fall premiere season is definitely fangirl Hanukkah. Days and days of network gift gotham-series-cast-211e9giving, some of which are way cooler than others. In the case of Fox’s new would-be hit Gotham, I still can’t decide whether or not I should hold on to the receipt. Here’s the breakdown:


1) I am really feeling Ben McKenzie as Jim Gordon. He’s got the gravitas of Gary Oldman and the raw sex appeal of Gary Cooper (sorry, I couldn’t think of any other sexy Gary’s).

2) This show isn’t trying to cash in by being too Christpoher Nolan-esq. It’s got it’s own vibe, and I like that.


3) David Mazouz could not be cuter as The Batbaby.

4) I think Gotham will be playing a bit fast and loose with the source material, which is a good thing. This show’s target audience is probably going to be pretty familiar with Batman, and if they don’t mix it up, viewers might just opt to rewatch their Dark Knight collector’s box set inTV-Fall Season-10 Beststead

5) Jada. Pickett. Smith. Ever so fierce.


1) In one episode, we’ve met Catwoman, Poison Ivy, The Riddler, The Penguin, Carmine Falcone, and completely wizzed through pretty much all of Batman’s origin story. Too much, too soon.

2) Gotham, like almost every DC blockbuster ever, is a little short on the funny. We get it, you’ve got #Gothamproblems. But cracking jokes doesn’t make your heroes any less bad-ass. Just ask these guys.


Conclusion? Well, I don’t really have one yet. So far I like what I see, but like many another comic book premise, Gotham could go sideways pretty quickly. Luckily, they’ve got a sexy Penguin. I could put up with a lot for a sexy Penguin.


About Last (Saturday) Night: Outlander Gif Reactions

This was originally posted to my Tumblr, but I spent too long on it not to recycle.  That and it makes me laugh.  (Not all gifs are mine. sorry…)



Jamie just being his adorable self and trying to preserve her honor


Their getting to know each other was sweet and all, but I was a bit distracted.


“To bed or to sleep?”


The undressing


That first kiss?


“I was a virgin, not a monk.”


Jamie’s post-coital glow



When Jamie and Claire go downstairs to get food


When Claire kept rejecting Jamie’s adorable advances




The wedding ceremony


“I want to look at you”


Me trying to keep it cool during all the sexy times by hiding behind a pillow…


…but failing



“Does it happen every time?”


“Does that hurt?” (AKA Jamie’s O face)






Probably Dougal from now on whenever he sees Claire and Jamie


The scene with the pearls




By the end of the episode



When I remember that I am not Claire




When my roommate walks in on the fourth viewing


Fictional Music Groups it’s Totally OK to Listen to Unironically

Mandonna (Happy Endings)

To this day, Mandonna’s rendition of “Like a Prayer” is the most hauntingly beautiful I’ve ever heard. Also, I love that they hum the intro for almost a full minute to give Penny (Casey Wilson) time to do the murderball bit. Team Friendship!

Robin Sparkles (How I Met Your Mother)

Phhfff. Like I needed an excuse to put on jelly bracelets and my cool graffiti coat.

Powerline (A Goofy Movie)

Wouldn’t it be, like, completely insane if I crafted this entire post for the sole purpose of posting another Poweline video? …Seriously, would it?

The Barden Bellas/ The Treblemakers (Pitch Perfect)

The Bellas and the Trebles make those Glee weirdos look like the S Club 7 of acapella.

The Sapphires (The Sapphires)

Fun Fact: The sapphires were an actual girl group that sang for the troops in Vietnam, but those chicks never put out a record on iTunes, so we must settle for the soundtrack version. And by settle I mean put it on repeat.

Billie Piper (Surprisingly, a real pop star)

When Robin Freaking Sparkles is a more realistic teen pop icon than you, your act must be remarkably whack. But clearly she did something right because I own, umm, three of her records.

Mouse Rat (Parks and Recreation)

I bet we all thought that there was no way Lady Di could ever be one-upped by a mini-horse. Then this happened.

Sex Bob-Omb (Scott Pilgrim V. The World)

I want to have this band’s adopted babies.

I am so in lesbians with this band

They are Sex Bob-Omb and they are here to sell out and make money and stuff.

(If that cluster-quote made no sense to you, you need to get less of a life).


Fangirly Crush of the Week: Santiago Cabrera

AramisI used to receive texts from my mom that were along the lines of “Have you watched The Musketeers yet?  The boys are so cute!  You would love it!”  What can I say?  She gets me.

She was right, too.  Cute guys abound, but after hours of research, I have determined that Aramis played by Santiago Cabrera is my favorite. His mix of cocky lothario and honorable gentleman sets me swooning.  Judging from how the first season ended, the sexy smolders should continue, if not intensify.  Yes, please.

The show is pretty good, too.

– Ellen

The Reviews are In: The Maze Runner

maze-runner-imageIn the spirit of full disclosure, I need to admit that I have not read the James Dashner books that The Maze Runner is based on. In fact, I almost didn’t end up seeing this movie at all; watching another end-is-nigh YA money-muncher is starting to feel a bit old hat. Not to mention that the film features an almost exclusively male cast that, judging from the trailer, spends most of the movie running around the set of Jim Henson’s Labyrinth wearing laser tag vests. But because I had a free afternoon today, and had literally nothing better to do, I saw it anyway. And I’m definitely not sorry I did.

For those of us who haven’t read the books, the story is about a group of boys who wake up in a mysterious glade with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a serious recall problem. None of them remember who they are or where they came from. Thomas (Dylan O’Brian), one of the unlucky amnesiacs, takes it upon himself to help the boys find a way out of the glade by exploring the ever-changing mechanical maze that surrounds them.

Maze Runner is carried completely by it’s young and pretty unknown cast, which from a film making point of view must feel like letting a toddler take a drivers test. It’s not like The Hunger Games, where Jennifer Lawrence was already making the Oscar-rounds before being cast as Katniss. That being said, Runner delivers some impressive performances, particularly fromthe-maze-runner-trailer-dylan-obrien resident PYT O’Brian. One of the movie’s best moments is the very first, when we see a panic-stricken Thomas being propelled upward in a underground elevator like a human push-pop. I could also make a Lord of the Flies reference here, if I thought it hadn’t been done a million times; I will say, though, that the boys’ group dynamics are just as fun to watch as the action sequences. Which, just to be clear, were super fun to watch.

Verdict: Go see it. It’s not Citizen Kane, but it’s a pretty good time at the movies.


Fangirly Love Letter: The Gilmore Girls

Being a Latchkey Kid was the best. My parents both worked full time, so in the afternoons I was left to my own weird devices. It usually went as follows:

1) walk inside, dump my backpack where ever convenient (almost always constituted a fire hazard)

2) Eat until the lower half of my face was numb from exhaustion

3) Get dance-y to whatever Now That’s What I Call Music album was collecting dust in the living room stereo

4)Try on all my mom’s old bridesmaid dresses

5) Drink rootbeer out of our fancy dinner glassware and “unwind”

…All of which took about 10-15 minutes. Then it was time to dial into The Gilmore Girls. 

There is not one show, not Veronica Mars, not Buffy The Vampire Slayer, not 30 Rock, that means more to me than TGG


Everything I learned about the kind of woman I want to be came from this Amy Sherman Palladino brain baby. (My mom is a super close second). This mother-daughter double act was so funny, so clever, so heartwarming/ breaking that Act 1 Whitney was in perpetual awe. In fact, I can date my media mania directly back to Gilmore. Suddenly there just wasn’t enough of this show to meet my consumption needs.


Lorelei and Rory were so classy,


So articulate,


So forward thinking.


And then, seemingly out of nowhere, the ax fell.


Gilmore Girls, a network staple and my TV spirit animal, was canceled. It was over almost as soon as it began.


But from the ashes, a hero emerged. One who would help me to piece together the shambles of my Gilmore-less existence, all for the super-low price of $7.99.  That’s right dweebs, Netflix has the streaming rights for Gilmore Girls. Those of us who loved the show will, on October 1, have a chance to relive the magic again and again, and those of you who didn’t love the show will have a chance to pull your head out of your butt. (Sort of joking. Mostly serious).

Give it a chance guys. You will not be sorry.



What to Watch and When to Watch It

It should be pretty evident that I am a huge TV nerd, so much so that it should not come as a shock that I make an Excel spreadsheet before every Fall TV season.  In case you want to know what I am watching or in case you want to know what you should be watching, I am sharing my nerdy spreadsheet.

A few notes:

Blue is for shows that have a guaranteed season pass, red is for either new or older shows that I am going to give a shot, purple is shows that I will have to catch up with online, new show in italics.  My DVR only has so much capabilities.

– I saw the pilots for Gotham and The Flash at Comic Con and I liked them enough to know I want more.

– I am currently watching The Blacklist on Netflix and really liking it, so unless something goes terribly wrong in the next 15 episodes, this one will get upgraded to blue.

– Some blues are old favorites on which I am very far behind; The Vampire Diaries, Bones, Nashville, Castle, to name a few.

– No show makes me more nervous than that red little Mulaney at the bottom.  I wanted to give it a blue really bad because I love him so much but the laugh track is making me nervous.

So go ahead, let me have it.  What am I stupid for watching?  What are you getting jazzed to watch?




Choice Picks: New Fall Shows You Should Get Excited About NOW


Mulaney (Fox) 9:30

Wait, I’m confused. If the show is supposed to be named after him, then why isn’t it called Whitney’s Future Husband?


Gotham (Fox) 8:00

I wish I could say this was the first time I’ve been sexually attracted to The Penguin.


Selfie (ABC) 8:00

Amy Pond stars in a My Fair Lady retelling. I’ve told you all you need to know.

The Flash (CW) 8:00

You got to hand it to the CW, they know when they’ve found a winning formula: cute boy + comic book premise – waiting months and months for next installments.

Marry Me (NBC) 9:00

Full Disclosure- I have no idea what this show is about. They had me at Casey Wilson. And they really had me at Ken Marino. In summation, they really have me.

Forever (ABC) 10:00

Ioan Gruffudd stars as a medical examiner who enjoys a fulfilling career and a normal human lifespan. Oh, scratch that, he lives forever. I gotta learn how to pick up on context clues.


Gracepoint (Fox) 9:00

From what I can tell, David Tennant stars in the US version of last years Broadchurch, which also starred David Tennant. Hey, reduce, reuse, recycle.

A to Z (NBC) 9:30

My only hope for this show is that Cristin Milioti doesn’t die at the end of the 9th season. Sorry, too soon?

How to Get Away with Murder (ABC) 10:00

Ironically, Viola Davis probably could get away with murder.


Fangirly Crush of the Week: Benjamin Booker

This is a conversation I have with my musically inclined brother on almost a biweekly basis:

Him: Whitney, you should listen to blah blah blah blah.

Me: Oh, cool. How much hipster cred is it worth?

Indignant Him: That’s not what it’s even about! These guys are really reminiscent of, like, blah blah blah blah (I love him ever elle-bejamin-booker-2-lgnso, but at this point in the chat he kinda loses me. Bless his little indie heart).

Eric, I know you wanted me to grow up to be that cool chick drummer from the White Stripes, and instead you got the sixth spice girl (Sister Spice! I slay myself sometimes). In Benjamin Booker, though, I think we might finally find some common ground. You can appreciate his Jack White Certified musical chops, and I will appreciate the rest of him.  For those of you who don’t share mitochondrial DNA with us, here is a Booker tune so you can join the conversation too.


Fall Movie Prediction Awards

I usually do a list of the top 10 movies I am most excited to see before a movie season, but there are just too many coming up, so I thought I would try something a little different this time.

The Hipster Award or Movie Most Likely to Make Me Whip Out My Belle & Sebastian Albums: God Help The Girl – Seriously, watch that trailer and tell me that the hipsters aren’t going to gaga for it.  (Sept. 5)

DIYS2Movie I Am Most Likely to See Just Because of James McAvoy – The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them – But also, the concept is intriguing and stuff.  (Sept. 12)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Terrified of Idris Elba…But Still Find Him Incredibly Sexy: No Good Deed – This one is also the most likely to make me start singing songs from Wicked. (Sept. 12)

The “Try and Take Me Seriously” Award: The Skeleton Twins – In all seriousness, this looks really good and Hader and Wiig are pretty convincing in their dramatic turn.  (Sept. 12)

13890-1The “Well, Hello, Matthew Crawley” Award: The Guest – Yeah, I’m pretty sure he is supposed to be a bad guy, but have you seen him in this trailer.  (Sept. 17)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Say, “Another Dystopian YA Novel Adaptation?  Sure, Why Not?”: The Maze Runner – Also, from the two seasons that I have watched of Teen Wolf, I know that Dylan O’Brien is stinkin’ adorable so that helps, too. (Sept. 19)

The Gay Moriarty Award: Pride – Sounds like fanfiction.  But I am also a sucker for quaint little movies from across the pond and this looks like it will fit the bill quite nicely. (Sept. 19)

The Tina Fey Effect Award: This is Where I Leave You – Tina is pretty much my hero, so I am obligated to see this no matter the Rotten Tomatoes rating.  Also, I read the book, so I’ve already put in the time.  (Sept. 19)

Movie Most Likely to Make Want to Adopt a Fictional Creature : Boxtrolls – Because have you seen them?  They are adorable. (Sept. 26)

downloadThe “Andre 3000? Like from Outkast?” Award: Jimi: All is by My Side – Rock star biopics have become all the rage and this one looks psychadelic.  I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson, this is for real.  (Sorry, I had to make one Outkast reference and “shake it like a Polaroid picture” seemed too obvious).  (Sept. 26)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Skeeved Out by Ben Affleck: Gone Girl – I am probably the only person in America to have not read the book yet, but I have faith in Fincher so I am pretty excited for this one.  Also! Casey Wilson and NPH?! Sign me up! (Oct. 3)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Grateful That I Never Displayed Any Musical Talent: Whiplash – See, Mom?  This is why I never did my piano practice.  You’re welcome.  But also, this looks good.  (Oct. 10)

The Next Stop on the Michael Keaton Comback Tour: Birdman – Weird dark comedy with an awesome cast that is already getting Oscar buzz?  Yeah, I’ll be there.  (Oct. 17)

The Endeavouring to Make Me Get Me Over My Dislike of Keira Knightley Award: Laggies –  I have a lot of unexplained antagonism for Keira.  I think it is the perpetual pout.  But this looks pretty good.  (Oct. 24)

The Bad News Bears Award: St. Vincent – I love me some cantankerous old men taking children under their wings to humorous and touching effect.  (Oct. 24)

hornsThe Next Stop on the Daniel Radcliffe Sheds the Wizard Typecasting Tour: Horns – The American accent helps.  And oh yeah, the horns, too.  This is already the movie that is most active on Tumblr.  (Oct. 31)

The Most Effective Trailer: Men, Women & Children – This one also gets bonus points for Jason Reitman, dramatic Adam Sandler and Judy Greer, and crying Augustus Waters. (Oct TBA)

The Marvel Bump Award: Big Hero 6 – I am now to the point where I will see a silly animated movie just because it is Marvel. (Nov. 7)

The Movie People are Going to See Just Because it is Directed by Christopher Nolan: Interstellar– But also because it will probably be a pretty good movie with some decent star power attached.  (Nov. 7)

foxcatcher-teaser-2The Out of the Box Casting Award: Foxcatcher – Yeah, that’s Steve Carell and he is already getting Oscar buzz.  Did you ever think you think you would see that happen? (Nov. 14)

The Movie That Will Probably Be Stupid But I Still Want to See It Award: Beyond the Lights – You guys, I am a sucker when it comes to movies geared toward African American audiences, especially when there is singing.  (Nov. 14)

The Most Likely to Force Shia LeBouf out of Retirement: Fury  – Also, the Brad Pitt bump award. (Nov. 14)

dumb-and-dumber-2-to-imageThe Most Likely to be Disappointing to My Generation: Dumb and Dumber To – I think nostalgia clouds people’s memory of how stupid this movie actually is.  Funny, but stupid.  (Nov. 14)

The Unnecessary Splitting Award: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 – Listen when you are up against The Hobbit and you still win this award, you know that your splitting into two movies is really unnecessary.  (Nov. 21)

The Benedict Cumberbatch Bump Award: The Imitation Game – Why does Keira Knightley continue to be in movies that I want to see?  First, Pride and Prejudice and now this.  Also, Whitney will see it for Allen Leech. (Nov. 21)

The Ellen’s Ultimate Comedy Crush Casting: Horrible Bosses 2 – It is like I cast this movie myself.  (Nov. 26)

The Makeupless Reese Witherspoon Award: Wild – It was a tough race, but this one won the fight.  (Dec. 5)

exodus_movie_2The “Am I Really Supposed to Believe These People are Ancient Egyptians?” Award: Exodus: Gods and Kings – Because last time I checked, Sigourney Weaver is pretty white.  Doesn’t mean I’m not going to see it.  (Dec. 12)

The Culmination of the Past Two Holiday Movie Seasons: The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies – Also, the trifecta of Freeman/Cumberbatch/Armitage is too much for me to ever pass up. (Dec. 17)

The Family Movie I Not Ashamed About Wanting to See: Annie – Again, I am a sucker for musicals and every time “Hard Knock Life” kicks in, I am dancing in my seat.  (Dec. 19)

Into-the-Woods-Movie-Meryl-Streep-as-the-WitchThe Movie Most Likely to Have the Bestselling Soundtrack of the Season: Into the Woods – I am such a sucker for big budget musicals, I will be there with bells on.  (Dec. 25)

The Movie Most Likely to Make Me Cry: Unbroken – Also, the movie to most likely to make Angelina Jolie look smug when she is nominated for Best Director.  (Dec. 25)

The Movie Most Likely to Get Free Publicity from North Korea: The Interview – It is also one of the lone comedies in a season of Oscar bait.  (Dec. 25)