The Reviews are In: Annabelle

annabelle_movie_imagesChances are, you’ve seen Annabelle before. Several times. Let me break it down: creepy doll, catholic priest, couple whose marriage was ordained by the casting gods, tragic murder, satanic rituals. ect. Nothing about this movie is new or innovative or shocking. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good.

Horror is a really formulaic genre for a reason. The same tropes and archetypes pop up again and again because they are rooted in what scares us. Annabelle takes advantage of that fact pretty shamelessly, beginning with the happy expectant couple, a Manson-style murder spree, and an onslaught of spooky ‘what the frak’ moments. I won’t synopsize because everything I could say would begin and end with ‘creepy doll’, but I will say that if you are a fan of gimmick-less horror, this one might be up your alley. Or at least up an adjacent alley. Annabelle feels like an homage to old-school scary, a feature length tribute to bygone classics like Rosemary’s Baby and The Exorcist. And while I don’t like the idea that this Conjuring spin-off is turning one of last years best movies into a haunted tent-pole, at least the result was a film freaky enough to do James Wan proud. So if you are looking forannabelle-movie-2 a serviceable, entertaining movie to see this weekend that could potentially derail your circadian rhythm, go see Annabelle. Or Guardians of the Galaxy for the 9th time. Either way, I fully support your decision.

Whitney

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Fangirly Presents: The 2014 Femmie Awards!

If I had to pick one word to sum up last night’s Emmy Awards, I would have to go with unprecedented. I mean, who could have possibly foreseen that Modern Family would pick up Outstanding Comedy Series for the fifth consecutive time? Or that the dark horse nominee from Breaking Bad (you know, Malcolm’s dad) would take home the award for Outstanding Lead actor? Not to mention all the other left-fielders like The Big Bang Theory, American Horror Story, and Steven Moffat’s little known passion project Sherlock. And while all the wins last night were richly deserved, we decided to recognize all those performances that would otherwise have gone unnoticed. We present to you, our seven readers, the 2014 Femmie Awards.

Outstanding Use of Grocery Bags, Loose Fitting Clothes, and Tony Goldwyn’s Knee to Hide a Baby Bump in a Drama Series  

And the Femmie goes to…

Scandal!

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Most Outstanding Comedy Series to Ever Get Cut Down in It’s Prime, Thereby Denying Viewers What Should Have Been Years of Comedy Gold

And the Femmie goes to…

Subergatory! (Kind of a Win/Lose)

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Outstanding Performance by a Smart, Strong, Sensual Woman in a Comedy Series

And the Femmie goes to…

Tina Belcher! (Bob’s Burgers)

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Outstanding Miniseries that Attempts to Make the Idea of Getting Knocked Up by Patrick J Adams Less Appealing, and Ultimately Fails

And the Femmie goes to…

Rosemary’s Baby! (NBC)

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We here at Fangirly would like to extend our congratulation to all our winners! You will be going home with… nothing. Statues were not in the budget.

-Whitney