Not all crushes are created equal. In fact, I’d say that 85% of our crushes are based on tepid admiration or a need to recognize male excellence when we see it. This week is not one of those crushes. Right now, we’re all about the star of Mad Max: Fury Road Nicholas Hoult. And I mean, all about. We consider it an egregious oversight that it’s taken so long for Hoult to be offered his rightful placed among our esteemed Fangirly Crush coterie. A surprise, given that his most recent roles have really displayed his beauty to best advantage… Be warned, the following images have reportedly caused spontaneous ovulation among susceptible individuals (ladies and inclined gentlemen)…
Obviously, celebrity has treated him well but to us here at Fangirly, Hoult will always be the cute little baby-brit who made us laugh, cry, and sort of care about Hugh Grant in About a Boy.
So we salute you, Nicholas Hoult. Rest assured that if yo shakin’ it, we’ll watch yourself.
Yesterday, you may have seen that Whitney played a round of MBK with some of the characters from some of our favorite movies this summer. She predicted I would throw shade and she gives me no choice but to do be shady when she gets it so unequivocally wrong. Once again, it falls to me to not totally disqualify us as experts in objectifying men. Whitney, you are totally going to ruin our street cred. If you feel like we are both getting it wrong, or if you feel like you need to tell Whitney how wrong she was, let us know on our Facebook page, our twitter@fangirly2, or at email@example.com.
Marry: Owen Grady
First of all, he looks like Chris Pratt. That should be enough, but I’ll go on. Granted, this is the one movie I haven’t seen of the three, but just from the trailer I know that he has the gentle-yet-firm approach to train velociraptors that is sure to make him the perfect candidate with whom to make babies. Doesn’t hurt that the process is sure to be quite…enjoyable.
I don’t know how to be delicate with my response to this one. But…umm…he has super speed and I won’t lie and say that I am not curious as to how that would manifest itself in the boudoir. Admittedly, “fast” is not always what one wants in that department, but I feel like it could also have…ahem…satisfactory results that I am not prepared to bypass for the purposes of this game. Was that all vague enough to still be appropriate?
It would a bit of “pot calling the kettle black” to reject him for skin tone alone, but I’ll start there. Then I will move on to what Whitney referred to as his “cute little tumors” and the fact that he requires a human being to be chained to him as a blood bag. Listen I am open to experimentation, but I am not quite prepared to have a voyeur joining us. So, Nux, I send you off to that great Valhalla in the sky.
I take an undue level of pleasure in bringing to you our latest round of Fangirly Marry, Boff, Kill. The competition is as tight as the contenders respective outfits and we’re hoping for a clean fight. However, if Ellen starts throwing shade again, I will in no way be responsible for my actions. Today’s contestants are Chris Pratt as Owen Grady (Jurassic World), Nicholas Hoult as Nux (Mad Max:Fury Road), and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Quicksilver (Avengers: Age of Ultron). And since we know you’ve got opinions, go ahead and unleash them on our Facebook page, our twitter @fangirly2, or at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I realize that the war-boy-turned-unlikely-hero is going to be a hard sell. I can’t imagine my parents being thrilled, especially when they learn that my other choices were a respected dinosaur wrangler and a superhero. To them I say, hey man, Nux might not have a job that pays well (unless he gets paid in raw, manic sex appeal), and our joy might any day be cut short by his cute little tumors, Barry and Larry. But they say the loves that burn brightest are also the most brief. At least I get to send that little psycho off to Walhalla with a smile on his face.
Boff: Owen Grady
I can’t help but think that when your job description involves keeping a bunch of genetically modified tooth-monsters in line, your time as a viable boff is pretty limited. How long until a raptor gnaws off your face, or heaven forbid, you become one of those jaded, Jurassic-World-weary, “I’m getting too old for this Stegosaurus” type dino-dudes. So Let’s do this. You know, before the unthinkable happens and you start to look like Jeff Goldblum.
Did you see this coming? I didn’t. Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s turn as Quicksilver was one of my favorite part of the latest Marvel summer screen buster. Not that it wasn’t problematic (‘nother time, ‘nother place), but I did love this character. I loved the hair (yeah, ya heard) and his unconvincing accent and his sexy blue and grey speed suit. It’s all good. But one must go, and by process of elimination, well, here we are. I’m so sorry. You’re great, but you gotsta go. I mean it. Go! Before I lose my nerve! Wait… come back. Ha! Just Kidding! Get out of here!
I went into this with fairly low expectations which I find usually leads to me quite enjoying a movie so it should come as no surprise that I quite liked this even though it wasn’t anything amazing it was still enjoyable and Ewan McGregor was super fine and I swear he doesn’t age and Nicholas Hoult was pretty adorable as well and all in all, it was a pretty good time at the cinema.
Verdict: If you are looking for pure, escapist fun (or if you also enjoy watching Ewan McGregor), then you just might enjoy this movie.
In what I am pretty sure is the first zom-rom-com, this retelling of Romeo and Juliet pairs zombie and human girl and they try to save the human race and it is pretty funny while still maintaining a sweet love story and and it has a really great soundtrack that I have become obsessed with and I’ve seen it twice so…
Verdict: Go See It!