TV Raised Me, and I Feel Fine

I saw my brother for the first time in months this last weekend. As insufferable as we are as individual units, we’re exponentially worse when we get together. Every other word is an inside joke (Sleepy Richard, earning your lunch meat, Pretzel Boy, moving about the house), and all the words in between are movie and TV quotes. This earns us little respect from the people around us. But this sibling shorthand we’ve developed comes from a shared childhood experience: we were raised by TV.

To be clear, we had great parents. We were always clean (ish), well-fed, and adequately loved. But when both of your parents work full time, TV is often used to fill the gaps. And when you come from a family of renowned movie buffs, a certain level of cultural literacy is expected. The problem is, when people learn this about you, you get a very specific look. It’s a look that says, “I’m so sorry for your unfulfilled life”. My response usually reflects my impeccable upbringing and unimpeachable manners.

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I appreciate your thinly veiled shade, but it is unnecessary. TV made me who I am, for better or worse. From a early age, I was exposed to movies and shows written by some of the cleverest people in the world.

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I learned social graces.

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I learned how to carefully formulate a snappy comeback.

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I realized that not everyone can be trusted.

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Sometimes these stories reflected my own experience.

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And sometimes they didn’t.

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But without them, I’d never be able to feel another person’s crushing disappointment.

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Or mortal terror.

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I wouldn’t know how it feels to watch someone you love die.

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I’d never understand how it feels to lose everything you have.

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Good TV, like a good book, gives us a window into another person’s experience,

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and explore realities that otherwise wouldn’t exist.

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TV made me empathetic, and forced me to experience emotions other than my own.

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So don’t be worried that your kids watch TV. Worry about what they watch on TV. Make sure that what they watch reflects the kind of person you want them to be. If it doesn’t…

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Make sure their shows are funny and smart.

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Make sure that they are gaining experiences beyond their own.

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And remind yourself to thank me later. I’ll wait.

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Whitney Weldon

Fangirl Correspondence: A Letter to Ellen

My Dearest Ellen,

Gracious, how long it’s been! Why, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of your radiant company since we danced together at your brother’s wedding. Too long by half, fair cousin.

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(I do apologize for the inclusion of Sam’s wayward eyebrow. Those things have no concept of personal space.)

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Enclosed is a picture of me, being just too Kevin Bacon for my own damn good.

As so much has happened since we last tore it up, I beg only a few short lines to fill you in…

I started taking better care of myself.

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I’m seeing someone new…

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(#wordplay)

I’ve made Pinterest my prison wife.

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I have resolved, many times, to watch less TV and dedicate myself to my studies. A resounding triumph, obviously.

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And now I’ve moved home for the summer, where accommodations are decidedly less expensive.

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I hope that this letter finds you well, and still the baddest of mama jamas.

I’ve also included an artists rendering of what you and I will look like in 20 years. I hope you are as trilled with the results as I am.

Yours Ever,

Whitney

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Fangirly Crush of the Week: Iggy Azalea

iggy-azalea-650I am making Fangirly history here and choosing our first ever girl crush of the week!  But really after the week I have had, it was no contest.  I am just a wee bit obsessed with Iggy Azazlea.  And when I say “wee bit”, what I mean is that I have been listening to her on repeat, I now know her life story after internet stalking her, and I have been caught up in a YouTube vortex of Iggy Azalea videos.

The main reason that she is so crushworthy is that she is just TOO cool.  I wish I could have a modicum of her swag, but alas, I am too white.  And yes, I realize that she is white.  Also, I feel comfortable enough in my sexuality to come out and admit that the girl is hot.

Seeing as how we are both straight, it probably wouldn’t work out. At the very least we could watch and enjoy Clueless together, though.

Ellen

Fangirly Investigates: Is There Anything That Will Make Me Feel Older Than 90’s Nostalgia?

In short: No.  With the exception of the recent 00’s Buzzfeed lists that I have seen.

I suppose the recent rash of 90’s nostalgia makes sense.  After all, it was about 10 years ago that 80’s nostalgia was in full swing and boy, did I ever rock some 80’s music and clothes in high school. It only seems fair that the 90’s have their turn.

Really all this nostalgia for the 90’s makes me feel old because it is the first decade that I actually remember, having been born in 1987. But I have decided to just embrace nostalgia and not get down on how old I am getting (AHH!) and enjoy videos like the one below that sends up one of my fav movies from the 90’s.  Like, whatever.

Ellen 

Top Five California Flicks!

So I am six months into my first year in Utah, and while I love the people, the schools, and the fact that there is a Chuck-O-Rama on every corner, I am really missing my mild California winters. So, in honor of my homeland, and in an effort to stave off homesickness, I’ve compiled a list of all my favorite movies and TV set in the Golden State.
so-i-married-an-axe-murderer5) So I Married an Ax Murderer- This movie has been rocking my world since 1993. TO this day, I have a hard time getting through a serious conversation about relationships without blurting out, “Jane, get me off this crazy thing called love!” And don’t even get me started on my family’s trip to Alcatraz. Suffice it to say, every tour guide was named Vicky, whether they liked it or not.
4) Easy A- It’s about time someone made a movie that shows how Eprudish and uptight California high schools girls are. I can’t count how many times we ostracized a girl who DARED show up in tight pants and a sleeveless top. Honestly, the nerve.
tumblr_led6xzt9781qf314eo1_5003) Ten Inch Hero- I’d be lying if I said that Jensen Ackles and his adorable and love-challenged character Priestly wasn’t my favorite part of this movie. There, I said it. Even colored mohawks and ironic kilt-wearing couldn’t dim the beauty of the Superior Winchester. Also, the story is pretty good too. You know, if you like heart-warming love stories, on-screen chemistry, and other such junk.
2) Clueless¬– There is no way to put into words what this movie meant to me growing up. Really, being raised with the clueless-title-imagefirm belief that one day I would have a love/hate relationship with Paul Rudd that would eventually culminate in true love probably wasn’t super conducive to a healthy grown-up world view. Regardless, this movie is the best.
Main_Page_Photo_for_September1) Veronica Mars- This is the California I remember. The murder, the intrigue, the sleuthing. That pretty much sums up my high school experience too. Finally, a show that accurately portrays the life on an average California teenager, right? Like, totally.

Tell us your favorite California flicks in our comment section!

-Whitney

Marry Boff Kill: Rudd vs. Scott vs. Hamm

To us here at Fangirly, Marry Boff Kill is so much more than a game. In fact, we firmly believe that you never really know someone until they’ve told you which celebs they would wed, bed, and make dead. Our MBK question this week happens to be something of a sore spot in our relationship. It first came up while on a camping trip more than a year ago, and remains a source of cousinly contention to this day.

Marry Boff Kill: Jon Hamm, Adam Scott, or Paul Rudd.

Whitney’s Answers

Marry Adam Scott- Ha! No brainer. While he’s still smokin’ hot, he’s the least classically attractive of the three so I wouldn’t feel totally inadequate. Also, if I married him I would get to hang out with his Parks and Rec co-stars, which would help me fulfill my destiny of becoming Amy Pohler’s best friend.

Boff Paul Rudd- That boyish face, that sexy grin, and the fact that he’s the funniest guy in Hollywood all lead me to conclude that Paul Rudd would be an awesome boff. Honestly, just look at this picture! (I really hope my parents don’t read this).

Kill…Jon Hamm- Ouch. This one hurts. He’s just too handsome. And every time I look at him all I can think about is his 30 Rock character Dr. Drew Baird, with his hook hands and less than average IQ. Sorry Jon Hamm. It was never meant to be.

Ellen’s Answers

Marry Paul Rudd- I have to.  What Paul and I have is lasting and real because I have loved him ever since I was a little girl watching Clueless on VHS, trying to act like I totally got all the jokes.  Totally.  I like to imagine that he is out there wearing a promise ring, just waiting for me.  He may call it his wedding ring that another woman gave him, but whatever.

Boff Jon Hamm – To fully explain my rationale behind this choice, it is important to know my strategy for playing the game.  I first decide who will give me a more meaningful relationship.  Not just a lover in the nighttime, but a true companion.  From there I decide who I believe will be the best boff.  Look at that picture.  He is literally smoking!  To give evidence as to why Jon Hamm is the best choice, I give you the following clip:

Kill… Adam Scott – You have no idea how painful this for me, Adam.  It’s not you, it’s me.  You’re a great guy, you know I think the world of you.  It’s just that someone has to die and it kills me that it’s you.  I had to follow my heart in choosing Paul and I had to follow something else in choosing Jon, but know that in choosing to kill you, I’m following a path straight to a night of crying in my pillow.  Don’t look at me like that, Adam.  You’re only making this harder.

Grade A, Choice Picks: High School Movies

September is here and for a lot of you, school is back in session. Some of you are gearing up for the year by doing some back to school shopping or getting a leg up by starting that midterm essay as soon as possible, but if you are anything like us, you only asked yourself one question: What movies should I watch to get psyched for a new school year? You know we’ve always got your back here at Fangirly, we came up with a list of our top 5 high school movies

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