Monthly Archives: March 2013

Five Things Bodice-Rippers Have Taught Me About Love

Posted in Books, Choice Picks, Fangirly Exposed! by

I’m ashamed to admit (obviously not enough to not publish it on the internet), but I have been reading a lot of bodice-ripper romance novels lately.  I have always spurned romance novels for the somewhat more respected chick lit genre.  There is a difference.  Sort of.  Chick lit is typically more substantial in length, plot, and price (popular titles include the Shopaholic series, Devil Wears Prada, Bridget Jones, etc.), where romance novels are like candy: cheap, quick, and easy to gobble in one bite.  They’re ridiculous and I am the first to admit it but, like everything that is bad for you, they are so addictive!  Especially if you get wrapped up in a series, as I now am.

To their credit, they have taught me a lot of (mostly erroneous) things about love and I thought I would share my findings with you, our dear readers:

9 rules1) The best mates are reformed rakes – Romance novels have taught me that bad boys/rakes/scoundrels/rogues make the best matches.  They are passionate, dashingly handsome, and only you will be able to make them finally ready to settle down.  Now, they are probably going to have some sort of inner turmoil that you are going to have to help them overcome (family drama, financial trouble, issues with commitment, etc.), but just power through!  You and you alone were brought to Earth to make him believe in love!  Now get to it!

2) You don’t have to be the most beautiful girl in the room, but you need the sharpest tongue – Once you meet your rake, he is going to acknowledge that you are not the most beautiful woman that he has ever met, but if you prove to be a worthy opponent in a verbal sparring, he will become putty in your hands.  Every arched brow and “infuriating woman” just means that he is falling in love with you.

3) If you get brought out onto a balcony, you are going to get kissed.  Well, probably more than kissed. – Balconies may as well be brothels.  Seriously.  The things that happen there!  It’s enough to make this girl blush.  So depending on what you want out of your evening, stay away from balconies/run out to a balcony.

Julia-Quinn-When-He-Was-Wicked-julia-quinn-6686007-603-4714) Eyes really ARE the window to the soul – These people can not shut up about eyes.  If you don’t have good eyes, you may as well just give up on anyone ever loving you.  Questions to determine if you have good eyes: Would your eyes be considered icy blue?  Could anyone ever see something more in your eyes than just eyes?  Do you eyes ever appear to be different colors than they actually are?  If you answered no to all of these questions, you are going to die alone.

5) If one of you could get sick/injured, that would really help move things move along – There is nothing like a medical trauma to bring two people together, apparently.  If you have to nurse him on the sickbed or visa versa, you may as well set the wedding date because a lot more is going to happen on that sickbed once he/you has recovered, if you catch my drift.

There you have it!  You are now fully prepped to go out and catch your rake!

– Ellen

Web Bytes: Doctor Who Teasers!!!

Posted in Anglophiles Anonymous, Web Bytes by

series-7-part-2-filming-bike-london-busAll things considered, I feel that I’ve been very cool about the impending return of Doctor Who. No frenzied posts featuring endless series 7 teaser trailers. No frantic texts to Ellen about how this may or may not be Matt Smith’s last year as the Doctor. So yeah, I’d say I’ve been pretty good. Then I saw the latest trailer and went a bit… nuts. Here’s a just a few of the clips I’ve been geeking-out about this morning.

Ok, if THAT didn’t get you in the Doctor Who spirit you’re either dead inside, or you were recently converted into a Cyberman. Either way, my condolences.

-Whitney!

Fangirly Exposed: A Square Peg Who Wanted to be a Daria

Posted in Fangirly Exposed!, TV by

square dariaRecently, I was discussing my high school identity with a friend of mine, attempting to explain my desire to be that cool and aloof teen.  Looking back, I can readily admit that I never quite nailed it.  I was too dorky and silly, and I wore far too many bright colors (I love bright colors!).  Trying to paint a picture of what I was like in high school, I told my friend that I wanted to be Daria, but I was too dorky.

When I was in high school, I loved to watch Daria.  I was (and still am) a girl with brown hair and glasses, after all.  What wasn’t to love?  She spoke to the existential, sarcastic teen in me.

Looking back on my high school career, however, I can never claim to have been nearly as cool as Daria.  If I had to pick a pop culture teen to align myself with, it would most likely be one of the Square Pegs girls.  How depressing is that?  Less concerned with popularity than them, but “don’t want to wear my glasses, but I have to wear my glasses”.

Give the epic title song a listen and then let me know who the comments who you were as a teen?  Topanga?  Clarissa?  Cher Horowitz? DJ Tanner?

– Ellen

Top Five Reasons Why I’m Falling Out of Love with The Vampire Diaries

Posted in Choice Picks by

I want to be clear: I am a huge VD fan. Ellen and I, being the veteran TV watchers we are, managed to crank out the entire url7first season in a 24 hour period. At the end of that day I was sure of two things: first, I really, REALLY needed a shower and second, Damon Salvatore was a god. But lately I’ve been feeling a little disenchanted. Here’s why.

5) Can we agree that the vampire thing is a little played out? I mean, after The Vampire Diaries, Twilight, True Blood, Being Human, and Moonlight, I really feel that the sexy-undead-tortured-soul thing has really run its course. This, coincidentally, is one of the dangers of writing a show that’s based on a pop culture fad. All fads end eventually, and all your left with is a series about something that people have seen a zillion times. Hardly innovative, if you ask me.

Elena4) Elena is getting on my LAST nerve. I’ve never been a fan of the shows supposedly irresistible heroine. As far as I can tell, the reason people keep falling over her is because she’s really, really pretty. I personally feel that she’s prosaic, passive, and SUPER self righteous. I realize that by saying this I am jeopardizing my relationship with Ellen, the biggest VD fan I know, but honesty is the best policy, right? …Right?

3) The Damon/Elena hook up was less satisfying than I hoped. I guess this really stems back to #4. I just don’t get why a guy who has been around for 150 years is into a teenage ex-cheerleader who spent the better part of the last three seasons boffing his brother. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it… gross…

2) The story is starting to feel a little ‘been there, done that’. I get it. When writing a show that has been running as long as VD, you feel like you’re constantly having to out-do yourself. But I feel that you can only save the world so many times before you start phoning it in. Come on people! Make me believe that you really DO want to avert the apocalypse!

1) Guys, know when to call it a day. After four season of supernatural melodrama I feel like I can’t even follow the Damon-3-the-vampire-diaries-28002589-426-361story anymore. Almost every lead character on the show has died at some point, and these jokers have back stabbed and plotted against each other so many times I can’t figure out who’s still on the same side. Frankly, I would rather have the show end now while it’s still a good show than have them drag out this nonsense for another three seasons.

Do you agree? Disagree? Either way, feel free to let me have it in our comment section!

-Whitney

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Jimmy Fallon

Posted in Crush of the Week by

jimmy_fallonDing Dong the host is fired.  Yep, Jay Leno is finally stepping down (deja vu?) and Jimmy Fallon is reportedly stepping in to take The Tonight Show in 2014.

13-year old me could not be more excited and present-day me is pretty excited, as well.  When Jimmy Fallon was on SNL, my little heart beat so hard for him.  He used to do a sketch called “Wake Up Wakefield”, where Maya Rudolph was a middle schooler who crushed on his Randy Goldman so hard that she had T-Shirts with his silk screened face.  I wanted that shirt.  I settled for the picture above taped to my wall.

Every time I watch him now, I am reminded of how twitterpated he made me with his dorky charm and “aw-shucks” vibe.  He’s still got it and that’s why I love him.

– Ellen

Run-On Sentence Reviews: Jack the Giant Slayer

Posted in Movies, Run-On Sentence Reviews by

JACK THE GIANT SLAYERI went into this with fairly low expectations which I find usually leads to me quite enjoying a movie so it should come as no surprise that I quite liked this even though it wasn’t anything amazing it was still enjoyable and Ewan McGregor was super fine and I swear he doesn’t age and Nicholas Hoult was pretty adorable as well and all in all, it was a pretty good time at the cinema.

Verdict: If you are looking for pure, escapist fun (or if you also enjoy watching Ewan McGregor), then you just might enjoy this movie.

– Ellen

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Enrico Colantoni

Posted in Crush of the Week by

Enrico-Colantoni-Keith-Mars-keith-mars-13078650-705-1024Folks, the TV gods have smiled on us. The Veronica Mars movie is FINALLY HAPPENING! In honor of this truly momentous occasion, I’m naming Enrico Colantoni, Mr. Keith Mars himself, as our Fangirly Crush of the Week. While there was an abundance of boffable bros on the show, I gotta say that it was Veronica’s lovable father that stole my heart. So here’s to you Mr. Mars. I don’t know how we’ve survived without you. Seriously.

-Whitney

Fangirl Poetry: Ode to Daryl Dixon the Zombie Slayer

Posted in Fangirl Poetry by

walking_dead_daryl_308_a_l

If you’re looking for some helpful tips

For surviving the zombie apocalypse

You’d better talk to Daryl Dixon,

That unwashed, crossbow wielding vixen

Although he talks like a total hick

And his brother is a crazy dick

He’s the hottest guy on AMC

Even Don Draper would likely agree

He’s a ladies dream, the ultimate male

With him, I wouldn’t mind sharing a jail

And the sexiest thing, no if, but, or maybe,

Was watching this badass cradle Rick’s baby

If I were his post-apocalypse mate

I’d happily help him repopulate

Until then, I’ll sit and watch him kill walkers

And join his legion of fangirl stalkers

In singing the praises of Daryl Dixon

The man, with whom, I wouldn’t mind mixin’

-Whitney

Web Bytes: Much Ado About Nothing Trailer

Posted in Movies, Web Bytes by

much_ado_about_nothing_still_a_lCould my day get any better?  I stumbled upon this trailer today and am now only upset that it took me a full week to do so.

Much Ado About Nothing has always been my favorite Shakespeare play, so when you throw in Joss Whedon, one of my favorite people out there, I’m sold.

The trailer has done nothing to put a damper on said excitement.  In fact, it increasing with alarming frenzy after each viewing of the trailer.  Maybe I should just stop watching it?

– Ellen

Veronica Mars Movie: IT’S ON!

Posted in Movies, TV by

VeronicaMarsWell, that’s it.  I have reached my happiness quotient for the month.  Nothing could possibly make me happier this month than this news.  Sure, my best friend is getting married this month, but as a fellow Veronica Mars fan, I’m sure she’ll understand.

Rob Thomas and Co.  have started a Kickstarter campaign to raise enough money to film the VM film this summer and all they need is our money!  But wait, there’s more!  Depending on how much you donate, you get all sorts of goodies.  For myself, I donated $50 and with that I get a DVD of the movie, a digital version of the movie, a copy of the script, and a T-shirt.

If you have any love whatsoever for this wonderful, underrated gem of a show, at least go watch the campaign video that they created.  I laughed, I cried, and I got crazy excited to think that I will get more Veronica Mars!!

– Ellen

House of Cards: The Future of TV?

Posted in Sweet Streams by

20HOUSE2_SPAN-articleLargeEven with rave reviews and one of the best casts in TV history, I was not super eager to watch the Netflix original series House of Cards. To tell the truth, hard-boiled political dramas are just not my thing. Last night, however, I was in the perfect TV watching mood (acute ennui and a fierce reluctance to do homework) so I gave it a try. Folks, it’s pretty great.

Just to give you an idea, House of Cards is sort of like Richard III meets Party Animals. Antihero Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) soliloquizes and back stabs his way through Washington with the help of his equally ambitious wife Claire (Robin Wright). And even for those of us who don’t know a platform from a pork barrel, the political intrigue is pretty fascinating.

The truth is, however, I don’t think that House of Cards is going to be remembered for what a great show it is. It’s going to be remembered for the way it has revolutionized TV. Sites like Netflix and Hulu are offering quality shows like this without the commercial breaks and week-long intervals between episodes. And while I am not at all looking forward to the death of network television, it’s pretty clear that this web series thing is the way of the future. And really, if it’s good TV, does it matter what type of screen you’re watching it on?

-Whitney

Mixin’ It Up: March’s Playlist

Posted in Mixin' it Up, Music by

Boy_-_Mutual_FriendsThese posts take me a while to write, so let’s skip the chit chat and get to it.

“Little Numbers”  BOY – This is my number one pick that I’m pushing this month because I want more people to be as obsessed with this song as I am.  I just saw them them in concert this past Friday and they were so adorably genuine and just plum excited to be singing their songs for people.  Not to mention, the song is dang catchy.  I dare you listen and not start bopping your head or humming along by the last chorus.

“Heartbreaker”  Alabama Shakes – Last month began my love affair with Alabama Shakes.  I may be a little behind, but I have certainly made up for lost time over the past few weeks.  I love the Brittany’s voice and the sort of old school soul and garage band rock melding that they have going on.  Rather than recommend their two main tracks (“Hold On” and “Boys and Girls”, both of which I LOVE), I thought I would recommend the B-side-ish tracks that I really like.  “Heartbreaker” has all the possible passion that could fit into one song.

“Breakin’ Up”  Rilo Kiley – I had to include a Rilo Kiley song in this month’s mix because I am so excited for their new album that is coming out next month.  Like, beyond excited.  This is mainly due to the fact that they have not come out with a new album since 2007!  “Breakin’ Up” is a little more peppy than what I am expecting from their new album, but that doesn’t make me love it any less.   (The video I linked is this goofy, homemade video, but their dancing amuses me).

“White Nights”  Oh Land – While I don’t think I will ever be able to endorse Girls, I can safely say that I fully endorse the Girls soundtrack.  It has given me a few price gems, such as “White Nights” from this band I have never heard of.  It’s great.  Thanks for this, Girls, but stay away from Parks and Recreation Emmy awards.

“Velvet Elvis”  Alex Winston – While driving to the aforementioned concert this past weekend, my friend played this odd little song for me.  It is about a girl who is in love with a velvet portrait of Elvis.  I know what you’re thinking.  “Another Velvet Elvis song?”  But this was the earworm that would not leave after I listened to it, so I proceeded to buy and listen to it for three days, as you do with earworms.  Which brings us to present day, where I am still listening to it on repeat.

SLP“Girl from the North Country”  Bob Dylan & Johnny Cash– I’ve always been a mix girl rather than an album girl.  I am often made fun of for my eclectic mixes, but variety is the spice of life.  I think this is why I have always loved soundtracks.  They are mix CDs made by your favorite filmmakers and the songs have little music videos in your favorite movies.  Over the course of my three viewings of Silver Linings Playbook, this song has endeared itself to me.  Believe me, no one is more surprised than me to have two Bob Dylan songs in two months’ mixes, but it happened.

“Say You’ll Be There”  Spice Girls – I was recently discussing the value of Spice Girls with a friend of mine and I’m just going to come out and say it:  I STILL love the Spice Girls.  I bust out my Spice Girls albums on the regular.  They are just a plain ol’ good time and I am not going to hide in shame, so if you are in the LA area and you see a girl blasting this song in her car with reckless abandon, you’ll know who it is.

“Temptation”  New Order – I have encountered New Order a few time on my hipster movie soundtracks and have come to the conclusion that I love New Order.  Any time they are on a mix or soundtrack, that song is always my favorite song on the CD.  When I got the Perks of Being a Wallflower (I haven’t seen it, but why wouldn’t I usually like the soundtracks of hipsterific movies set in the 80s) soundtrack and saw that there was a New Order song, I knew that I was a goner.  Sure enough, I love “Temptation”.

“Skin”  BOY – Another sampling from BOY.  I had to include this song and link a video that someone took from the show that I went to because while I like the original recording of this song, I really loved the stripped down, melancholy version that they do live.  Now I can only wish that they will release this version somewhere so that I can download it and have it as my own.

“Always Alright”  Alabama Shakes – Another Alabama Shakes song, also featured on Silver Linings Playbook, because I just can’t get enough.  Seriously, watch the linked video and answer me this:  How cool is she?  I love her.

– Ellen

MBK: Ben Wyatt, Shawn Spencer, and Damon Salvatore

Posted in MBK, TV by

This weeks Marry Boff Kill is perhaps the most contentious in recorded history. We will be deciding the fates of three of TV’s handsomest men: Ben Wyatt (Parks and Rec), Shawn Spencer (Psych), and Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries).

936full-james-rodayWhitney’s Answers:

Marry Shawn Spencer: Anyone who doesn’t think that Shawn is marriage material is an old sponge with hair hanging off of it. He’s funny, self-employed, and he kinda looks like a young Andrew Lincoln. Also, because Shawn and his BFF Gus are something of a package deal, I would be getting two smokin’ hot men for the price of one. To not take that deal, I would have to be just like Topher Grace walking on the beach at the end of In Good Company.

Parks and Recreation - Season 4Boff Ben Wyatt: Is it ethical to boff someone out of curiosity? I mean, we know Damon can boff with the best of them, and Shawn has a long-standing reputation as a ladies man, but Ben Wyatt is something of a mystery. So  I’d boff him, you know, just to see what the deal is. Does that sound slutty? I’m sure my mother will let me know.

abbs-abs-damon-salvatore-dance-hot-Favim.com-118663Kill Damon Salvatore: I really have no problem killing Damon because he is a lead character on a show that is notorious for killing people and bringing them back to life. I’m pretty sure that the writers of VD will think of some supernatural plot device that will have him up  and dancing on that banister again in no time.

 

 

 

Ellen’s Answers:

Whitney, you ignorant slut.  This is the only real course of action…

parks-and-rec-benMarry Ben Wyatt:  Ben Wyatt has all the qualities that this girl looks for in a mate.  Namely, that he would be a most faithful, lifelong Comic Con companion. I would support him in his every endeavor, whether they be lackluster claymaish shorts or his Low Cal Calzone Zone.  We would enjoy nights of Game of Thrones viewings and lively debates on the value of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  How can a real fangirl not marry this fellow nerd?  Ben Wyatt, I like you and I love you.

tvddamonemotionsnotextBoff Damon Salvatore:  Whitney, you shock and amaze me.  How can you post your above picture of the infamous bannister dance and NOT boff Mr. Salvatore?  And look at that cock of the eyebrow.  I could never resist.  I think I can safely say that if Damon Salvatore is ever in a round of Marry Boff Kill, he is always the ONLY option for boffing.  I don’t want to marry into all that broody, self-loathing, immortality.  But a night of passionate vampire boffing?  Check, please.

NUP_135034_0102Kill Shawn Spencer:  As is the case with most killings in this game, this one grieves me.  I love Shawn Spencer and a life with him would one full of laughter and adventure.  But… he’s also a manchild and this girl likes men.  While I take much joy from watching his childish antics every week (or when USA deigns to air this show every six months to a year), I don’t think I would want a lifetime of them.

Who got it right?  What are your answers?

– Whitney and Ellen

TV Obituaries: RIP Better Off Ted

Posted in Get with the Program, In with the Old, TV Obituaries by

Better-off-Ted-better-off-ted-10352512-2000-1331You know what I hate? I mean, other than perfume commercials, mashed potatoes, or sentences that end in a preposition? I hate watching a young show get cut down in it’s prime. Three years after its cancellation, I’m still reeling from the loss of ABC’s Better Off Ted. Speaking as someone who strongly feels that the world can never have enough zany workplace comedies, the show was the bright spot of my week during its brief two season run.

On paper, the premise of this show seems pretty ho-hum. Ted Crisp (Jay Harrington) manages a research and development team for a massive corporation. Bored yet? Then perhaps I should mention that Ted’s boss, the stoic and well-coiffed Veronica, is played by the one and only Portia de Rossi, with all the stellar comedic timing and deadpanned delivery we’ve come to love. Oh, are you back on board? Awesome. Let’s proceed.

Of course, you can’t have a great workplace comedy without some great writing attached. I can’t tell you how many funny one-liners I’ve pilfered from this show. Oh no… there’s no stopping it… I feel a cluster-quote coming…!

There was the time Ted and his love interest/employee Linda invented the game of throwing stale bagels into an air vent:

Ted: What are you afraid of? If you throw a game, it’s gonna keep you out of the time-wasters hall of fame?
Linda: No. My position there is secure from getting my art history degree.

Or the time Ted inadvertently forced Ryan the security guard to quit his job:

Linda: So did you hear the latest office gossip? Ryan the security guard quit his job because you’re a giant douche-mobile. That’s right, you’re a douche on wheels. Or perhaps a decorative sculpture hanging above a baby douche’s crib. The gossip didn’t specify.

And how could we forget Veronica, the company mouth-piece:
Veronica: If you want to get the company off this, you have to show them that this new pace will cost them money. Because the company loves its money. If they could, they’d go to strip clubs and throw naked women at money.

Like the Temptations, I ain’t too proud to bed. Please, please, please, watch this show. You can find both seasons now on Netflix streaming!
-Whitney

Fangirly Investigates: How Many Adaptations is Too Many?

Posted in Anglophiles Anonymous, Fangirly Investigates, Movies, TV by

Pride and PrejudiceMy love of all things Jane Austen is well-documented and thorough, so it should come as no surprise to you that I recently spent a Sunday watching the 5 hour 1995 Pride and Prejudice.  Imagine my (non) surprise when this marathon viewing only fueled my urgency to watch the 2005 adaptation within the hour.

This is what I love about adaptations.  The 1995 version will forever be my favorite because of its fidelity to the novel, its general humor and lightheartedness, and the Colin Firth-iness of it all, but I cannot deny that the passion and sweeping romantic splendor that Joe Wright infused into his adaptation gets to me, despite some of quibbles with it.  For example, I become incensed when Charlotte Lucas lectures Lizzie about her plight in having to marry Mr. Collins and how upset she is because it zaps out every ounce of Austen’s commentary on that character, which is that women did that all the time back then and they were perfectly contented to do so.  I am willing to recognize, however, that this would have worked against the passionate, romantic vibe that Wright and co. were setting for the film.

It is due to this example and several others, that, in the opinion of this humble reader and movie-goer, one novel can never have too many adaptations.  As long as said adaptation is bringing something, anything, new to the table, it will always be valid.  I find it fascinating to see what tones directors set or what story arcs the writers decide to focus on.

I get the argument that Hollywood can’t think up any new ideas anymore and I get that you may not want to pay money to see yet another story that you have seen before. But I don’t think I want to live in a world where the possibility of new Harry Potters doesn’t exist, nor one in which a perfect adaptation of my favorite Austen work, Persuasion, can be produced.

What are your thoughts on adaptation? Is enough, enough?  Or do you feel as I do that the more the merrier?

-Ellen