Fangirly Presents: Why Women aren’t Funny

You know what sucks?

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And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, I was informed today that women are, tragically, not funny.

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It’s true.

I know this because the person who let me in on this secret was, himself, blessed with a penis, so you know he knows comedy.

At first I was furious. How could someone make, with such confidence, such a blatantly untrue generalization?

Then I thought about it. And, wouldn’t you know it, he’s right.

Women really aren’t funny.

I mean, we have no sense of irony.

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Woman are historically terrible at physical comedy.

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Honestly, how many women can do impressions?

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I think, and this is just me, that women are too preoccupied with their appearance to be funny.

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And you know who really isn’t funny? Mature women.

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Maybe if we didn’t harp so much about objectification in the media.

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Maybe if we just got better at rolling with the punches.

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If we weren’t so damn prissy. You know, developed a sense of bathroom humor.

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It’s no wonder that male comedians don’t want to work with women.

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And why there aren’t any good female comedy duos.

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Who would have thought that ovaries, those things that launch our transformations into raging hose beasts with each new moon, would be the agents of our comedic destruction?

Let’s rally, ladies. Let’s focus on our strengths. Like wifery.

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And being good at literally everything else.

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Actually… wait…

I think I just thought of a joke.

Ok, bare with me, I’m new at this.

What did the woman say to the dumb-ass who thinks women aren’t funny?

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Get it?

Whitney Weldon

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TV Raised Me, and I Feel Fine

I saw my brother for the first time in months this last weekend. As insufferable as we are as individual units, we’re exponentially worse when we get together. Every other word is an inside joke (Sleepy Richard, earning your lunch meat, Pretzel Boy, moving about the house), and all the words in between are movie and TV quotes. This earns us little respect from the people around us. But this sibling shorthand we’ve developed comes from a shared childhood experience: we were raised by TV.

To be clear, we had great parents. We were always clean (ish), well-fed, and adequately loved. But when both of your parents work full time, TV is often used to fill the gaps. And when you come from a family of renowned movie buffs, a certain level of cultural literacy is expected. The problem is, when people learn this about you, you get a very specific look. It’s a look that says, “I’m so sorry for your unfulfilled life”. My response usually reflects my impeccable upbringing and unimpeachable manners.

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I appreciate your thinly veiled shade, but it is unnecessary. TV made me who I am, for better or worse. From a early age, I was exposed to movies and shows written by some of the cleverest people in the world.

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I learned social graces.

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I learned how to carefully formulate a snappy comeback.

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I realized that not everyone can be trusted.

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Sometimes these stories reflected my own experience.

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And sometimes they didn’t.

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But without them, I’d never be able to feel another person’s crushing disappointment.

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Or mortal terror.

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I wouldn’t know how it feels to watch someone you love die.

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I’d never understand how it feels to lose everything you have.

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Good TV, like a good book, gives us a window into another person’s experience,

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and explore realities that otherwise wouldn’t exist.

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TV made me empathetic, and forced me to experience emotions other than my own.

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So don’t be worried that your kids watch TV. Worry about what they watch on TV. Make sure that what they watch reflects the kind of person you want them to be. If it doesn’t…

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Make sure their shows are funny and smart.

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Make sure that they are gaining experiences beyond their own.

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And remind yourself to thank me later. I’ll wait.

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Whitney Weldon

The Fangirly Show: Episode # 7 Fangirling Over TV Revivals

Whitney and Ellen discuss the pros and cons from a bringing back a show from that underworld known as cancellation.  Is it a good thing or bad thing for the landscape of television?  But more importantly, has it ever been done well?  Plus, the ladies lay down their bets for their Fangirly Oscar Pool.  Who will win?   And who will have to suffer the consequences of losing?  (Odds are, Whitney).

You can listen and subscribe HERE on iTunes or you can go HERE to listen and let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

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10 TV Couples That Are My Relationship Goals

There are many relationships on TV but only few are chosen… by me to someday emulate.  Many are fraught with drama and while those are fun to watch, I hope to someday have one that is more like the following:

10.  Monica and Chandler (Friends) – These two were my first OTP (internet speak for “One True Pairing”).  Shmoss and Shmachel, I only cared about Monica and Chanandler Bong.  I like that his amount of dorky is the perfect match to her amount of crazy.

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9.  Bob and Linda Belcher (Bob’s Burgers) – The Belchers are not only a relationship goal but a family goal.  Someday I hope to raise a similar band of weirdos.  Bob and Linda stick together and accept each other’s eccentricities amidst all the chaos.

8.  Jim Halpert and Pam Beasley (The Office) – Speaking of chaos, in a different bunch of weirdos, these two found each other.  They might have had a few (infuriating) bumps along the way to find each other but they did it.  I always loved that their relationship felt real.  They initially bonded over shared jokes and stayed together through hard work. Continue reading

Fangirly Birthday Tribute: The Story of Ellen

Her life began, as you might assume,

When she beat a hasty retreat from the womb

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Her wit was legend by the time she was six,

No one could ever catch on to her tricks

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But Ellen cared not for the praise, not one bit,

Even when it came from her dear cousin, Whit

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The girls became buddies, of the rarest kind,

No two more alike in spirit and mind

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Whitney cried on the day Ellen left for the city

She was now all alone, and it felt pretty… um, bad

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Though their visits were fun, they just weren’t enough,

And saying goodbye became rougher than rough

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But Ells was just fine, yes she tore it up good,

Doing the things you WISH that you could

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And sometimes, she’d think of her poor lonely cousin

For the good times they’d shared, she could count by the dozen

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So the girls reunited, and they did it real fast

And were just as close as they’d been in the past

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Just one thing now could complete their bliss,

To each wed a guy by the name of Chris

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Which totally happened, I swear that it’s true,

I’d go into detail, but that might get too blue

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That’s the end of my story, and I hope you’re all awed

By Ellen, the world’s most spectacular broad.

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Ells, I hope this birthday poem wasn’t a dud,

But, just in case, I also got you Paul Rudd

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Whitney

Fangirl Correspondence: A Letter to Ellen

My Dearest Ellen,

Gracious, how long it’s been! Why, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of your radiant company since we danced together at your brother’s wedding. Too long by half, fair cousin.

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(I do apologize for the inclusion of Sam’s wayward eyebrow. Those things have no concept of personal space.)

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Enclosed is a picture of me, being just too Kevin Bacon for my own damn good.

As so much has happened since we last tore it up, I beg only a few short lines to fill you in…

I started taking better care of myself.

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I’m seeing someone new…

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(#wordplay)

I’ve made Pinterest my prison wife.

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I have resolved, many times, to watch less TV and dedicate myself to my studies. A resounding triumph, obviously.

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And now I’ve moved home for the summer, where accommodations are decidedly less expensive.

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I hope that this letter finds you well, and still the baddest of mama jamas.

I’ve also included an artists rendering of what you and I will look like in 20 years. I hope you are as trilled with the results as I am.

Yours Ever,

Whitney

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Get With the Program: Marry Me

marry-me-nbc-hed-2014During Fall Premiere season, sometime you have to step back and objectively evaluate each show based on their respective merits. I said sometimes you have to do that. I can’t. Tried, but can’t.

Which brings me to NBC’s new sitcom Marry Me. Now, my approval of this show was pretty much written in the stars. Firstly, it’s produced by David Caspe (if reading that name does not make you observe a moment of silence for our funny, fallen friend Happy Endings, there is a good chance you are a monster, or possibly have a life). Then there is the dazzling combined on-screen talents of Casey Wilson and Ken Marino, easily two of television’s funniest staples. Wilson and Marino play a couple in a long-term, quasi-committed relationship that gets turned on it’s head when Jake (Marino) proposes. I know, not exactly high concept, but some of the best sitcoms of all time have been based on even less (Cheers, Friends, Scrubs).

The supporting cast is none too shabby either, Tim Meadows, John Gemberling, and Sarah Wright being the most notable. marry-me-hed-01-2014One of the really impressive things about Marry Me is how it tricked us into thinking we’re watching a show about two attractive leads with occasional appearances from a supportive role, when really this is an ensemble. There are a lot of great characters here, and I have a feeling they are going to get the screen time they deserve. Assuming that this show doesn’t get chopped like another David Caspe gem I could mention. Yeah, ABC, still bitter.

-Whitney