Double Chim Chim: A 2021 Birthday Ode to Ellen

Double Chim Chim: A 2021 Birthday Ode to Ellen

Whit looked upon, with growing fright

As summer came a’knocking

Ellen’s birthday poem she soon must write,

Or the gossip t’would be shocking

But how capture, with word or rhyme,

A woman quite like Ellen?

To undersell would be a crime,

And Whitney would turn felon

So Whit, sunk low with writers woes,

Did aught she knew to do

She turned to Ellen’s TV beaus

In hopes they’d have a clue

The Duke was first up to the bat

His time for service came

But all he could do was smoulder at

Mere mention of Ellen’s name

Roy Kent was next, fresh from the pitch

With sex appeal to spare

But Ellen had him so bewitched

He turned into a square

For Jamie, Whitney’s hopes were higher,

But all he could do was sing

To a seagull on a tire

And sand with his toes did fling

Whitney cried up to the sky

“Oh what am I to do?

I need a helpful TV guy

And I’ve talked to quite a few!”

Ted Lasso had a clever scheme,

When he heard Whit’s mournful prayer

“Let Ellen know you’re on her team,

Just tell her that you care.”

“Oh, shut up Ted!” Our Whitney said,

And turned to the Mischief God

“Help me, Loki,” she desperately plead,

“I need to wow this broad!”

He said, “This time I think I must assent,

With that gleeful mustache, there

Your answer isn’t a TV gent

But the love you and Ellen share.”

So here’s my birthday wish to you

Dear Ellen, friend and cousin,

I hope your birthday dreams come true

By the bakers dozen

I hope it’s clear to you by now,

I don’t write this on a whim

I had a need to tell you how

You’re the double Chim Chim

Love, Whitney

GIF Reactions to the Marvel Phase 3 Announcements

In case you live under a rock or are maybe just less obsessed with any news coming out of Marvel HQ than I am, you may not have heard about Marvel’s presentation today.  Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige took the stage at Hollywood’s El Capitan Theater and gave us, yeah, some news that we have been expecting for a while, but it still set the nerd world into a tizzy.  So much of a tizzy, that I don’t have words so I’m going to rely on GIFs.

First up,

1adoctor

brad-twirl

Now just officially cast Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange and we’ll be in business.

benedict

Strange will be delving more into the supernatural than the other films from the studio and is yet another more out of left field pick for Marvel. I cannot wait. Just remember that only 3 months ago most of us were saying, “Guardians of the what?”

Speaking of that, they moved up the Guardians 2 release date to May 5, 2017.  Who else can’t wait?

raise your hands

So.  That’s awesome.

Now, for one of our oldies, but goodies…

1athor3

And not only is Thor back, but his devious brother, Loki AKA Tom “Yes Please” Hiddleston.

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They announced that Thor’s story would take a dramatic turn post Ultron, so I’m excited to see what happens with Hemsworth and Co.

Moving on to one of their bigger announcements…

1ablackpanther

bad-max-side-five

This one has been long speculated by Marvel diehards due to little Easter egg hints throughout the previous films (for example, Captain America’s shield is made of Vibranium, an alloy native to Black Panther’s nation of Wakanda) and it sounds like there are more allusions to come in Ultron.

Also, they later announced that 42′s Chadwick Boseman will be taking on the title role and I don’t think they could have made a better choice. Boseman is a great actor and I am excited to see him in something other than a biopic.

Fans have long been clamoring for more diversity from this cinematic universe, so following Black Panther will be…

1acaptainmarvel

beyonce

Who runs the world? My guess will be Carol Danvers. No casting announcement was made but I have faith that she will kick ass.

If nothing else, it is exciting to see such a change-up with the Avengers.  Whether Captain Marvel and Black Panther end up being additions or eventual replacements, they should be fun additions to the team.

1aainhumans

I have just met you i love you

I admittedly don’t know a lot about the Inhumans, but I’m still excited. What I DO know is that they are the test subjects of Kree’s attempts to create a sort of super race, so this will obviously be more in the universe of Guardians, which for me just means epic amounts of awesome. Also, we have some pretty solid proof that Marvel does good “team” movies.

1acivilwar

scared baby

I knew this was coming but TWO PARTS!  While many will see this as a gimmick to get more money, I don’t care. Gimme more. Heck, split both of those and make it four movies.

money-gif

The “Infinity” subtitle implies that the big bad here will be Thanos and it will be the culmination of the infinity stones story line (so probably an appearance by the Guardians universe, as well).

After trying to fake out the fans with a misleading Cap 3 subtitle, Fiege revealed the real title card.

1acivilwar1

In other words Cap Vs. Iron Man.

heating up

We all knew this was coming but it will be pretty awesome to see this discord between Cap and Iron Man. Two words: Ep. IC.

Now the only problem is the waiting.

Difficult life

Ellen