On Sunday Night, ABC will be airing a special called “The ABC’s of Schoolhouse Rock” and seeing how my love for Schoolhouse Rock knows no ends, I will, of course, be tuning in. When I was just a wee little lassie, my mom got us a VHS set of these educational little ditties and I gobbled them up. At the age of five, I was singing the preamble to the Constitution, my multiplication tables, and conjunctions even if I didn’t really understand what I was singing.
Schoolhouse Rock holds a very special, nostalgic place in my heart, but I still have my favorites. I should say that my favorites tend to be different than the most popular songs (“Conjunction Junction”, “I’m Just a Bill”) and I am not very familiar with the newer songs.
10. “The Preamble” – When reciting the preamble to the Constituttion, I am incapable of not making certain one syllable words become two syllable words. It was a little embarassing in 8th grade. Best line: “..promote the general welfare a-and…fo-or the United States o-of America”
9. “Do the Circulation” – In an era where jogging was the new craze (I believe that’s a soft “j”), Schoolhouse Rock was urging kids to do the circulation by animating adorable fat people working out. Best line: “There’s a great new craze that’s sweeping the nation. Come on, do the Circulation!”
8. “Sufferin’ ’til Suffrage” – Sing it, sister! Between your Disney Princess movies, instill some feminism in your youngsters with this upbeat number about all your favorite suffragettes. Best line: “Since 1920, Sisters, unite! Vote on!”
7. “A Noun Is A Person, Place Or Thing” – This was probably my favorite when I was really young, probably because it is one of the easier concepts to grasp. Although, I had no idea who Chubby Checker was. Best line: “I heard Chubby Checker, he was doing the twist, and the Beatles and the Monkees. It goes like this.”
6. “No More Kings” – Have you ever wanted to cram 4 months of 5th grade US History into one song? Have you ever wanted a song with a villainized caricature of King George III? Well, I know just the song for you. Best line: “That’s called taxation without representation and it’s not fair.”
5. “Three is a Magic Number” – Imagine, if you will, a little bespectacled Ellen in third grade who is having a heck of a time wrapping her head around her 3 multiplication table. Schoolhouse Rock stepped in and saved the day, mainly because I watched this song on repeat until I had it down. Best line: “A man and a woman had a little baby. Yes, they did. They had three in the family. That’s a magic number”
4. “Interplanet Janet” – I like to think that any comets are just this galaxy girl jet setting from planet to planet. I blame this song for my continuing to draw the sun with sunglasses. He’s a cool star. (Also, RIP Pluto) Best line: “It’s a star, it’s a star! So Janet got an autograph!”
3. “Mother Necessity” – Let’s not talk about how it took me a few years before I realized that Mother Necessity was not an actual woman in a rocking chair who played a role in the lives of our most famous inventors. Best line: “Elias, how?” (Do you see what they did there?)
2. “The Tale of Mr. Morton” – Listen, if you are not in love with Mr. Morton by the end of this song, you are a callous, heartless person and you should probably re-evaluate your life’s choices. Any song about a grammar-based romance is a win in my book. Best line: “Mister Morton talked to his cat. Mister Morton talked. (Hello, cat, you look good)”
1. “Interjections!” – In my opinion, this is their funniest video, while still remaining informative. Everybody should say “Wow!” like the woman in this song. Best line: “Yow! That’s not fair, giving a guy a shot down there!”
Do you have a favorite Schoolhouse Rock? Were these songs as ingrained in your childhood?