Let’s put aside all of the studies that talk about how you shouldn’t fall asleep watching TV or how watching something on your tablet or smartphone is even worse.   It happens.  Let’s get past it.

I may be a rarity, but I can’t fall asleep unless there is something playing, otherwise I spend hours thinking of what I have to do the next day or (don’t judge) coming up with fantasy-like scenarios in my head.  Get your minds out of the gutter!  Completely innocent fantasy-like scenarios.  If I have something playing, it gives me something to focus on besides my own thoughts.  The trick is finding something subdued and mindless enough to not completely get me invested.

If you are like me and need some TV-melatonin, here are my steps to sussing out the candidates:

1.  Something funny.  This is my personal preference, but I like to keep it light and I don’t want anything that has potential to be scary.  There’s a time and a place for your zombies and serial killers and it’s not right before I fall asleep.  I don’t trust my head.

2.  No intricate plots.  This rules out your procedurals, intense dramas, or anything where you are going to want to know what happens at the end.  Of course, this may be obsolete if they fall into the next category…

3.  Something you’ve have seen.  Funny or dramatic, if I haven’t seen it, I’m still going want to watch the whole episode and maybe a couple more after that.

Among my candidates are Family Guy (basically all jump cuts anyway, but a little too bright), second season of Parks and Recreation (I’ve seen it a million times), and Arrested Development (ditto).

While all those are great, though, I have found the perfect show for me to fall asleep to is Mystery Science Theatre 3000.  If you haven’t heard of this show, first of all, shame on you, but it is essentially a guy and his robot pals mocking really awful movies.  It’s perfect because the movies usually don’t have any semblance of a plot to follow, the volume is pretty consistent, and I can fall asleep quietly laughing that the gang’s humorous commentary.

Do you have a better sleepytime show?  Am I the only that does this?  Am I the only one who has thought about it this extensively?

– Ellen