Our never ending game of “Marry, Boff, Kill” rages on, and the questions aren’t getting any easier. This week our debate gets pretty heated as we discuss the relative merits of our favorite Sci-fi/fantasy boys: Dean Winchester (Supernatural), Peter Bishop (Fringe), and Daryl Dixon (The Walking Dead).
Marry (duh) DEAN WINCHESTER!– aka The Superior Winchester. In the words of REO Speedwagon, I can’t fight this feeling anymore. I knew from the first time I heard you say “pig in a poke” that you and I had something special. I don’t care that you can’t hold down a legitimate job or a successful long-term relationship. Are those things even indicative of marital success? Probably not. So what do you say Dean? I’ll bring the salt, you bring the holy water, and Sam can go sit in a corner and contemplate his poor life choices.
Boff Peter Bishop– Why not? He meets all my criteria for a Boffable TV leading man. First, he’s got a checkered past (I mean, when he met Olivia in the first season he was working for shady characters in Iraq). He’s also crazy smart, which means we would have some pretty intellectually stimulating pillow talk. I should also mention that I’ve wanted to make-out with Mr. Jackson ever since he skated his way into my heart as Charlie in The Mighty Ducks. All things considered, Peter Bishop is a totally suitable Boff.
Kill Daryl Dixon– Don’t get me wrong, I have a serious case of the Hots for this post-apocalyptic bad boy (I find his ear-necklace to be both a Dealbreaker and a Dealmaker). I just don’t think I’m cut out to be the wife of a seasoned zombie slayer. And while he would probably be an excellent Boff, brother hasn’t taken a shower in months, something that I would find repulsive even if he hadn’t spend all that time covered in zombie gore. So thanks, but no thanks Daryl. Best of luck living in your Walker-ridden dystopia.
Marry Dean Winchester: Well, well, looks like that next family gathering is going to get pretty awkward, Whitney, because we’re both bringing home the same guy to meet the folks. Readers, if you need to know anything about us here at Fangirly it should be that we love talking about movies and TV. Following close behind, though, we love talking about our shared love of Dean Winchester. While I am aware that a life being married to a Winchester definitely comes with its fair share of cons, it comes with a huge, massive pro in that I would get to call this man my husband. Let the demons, vampires, shape-shifters, leviathan, and menacing angels, I’ve got my man. May the best girl win, Whitney.
Boff Daryl Dixon: Just know that it is going to be impossible for me to get through this paragraph without some strong use of innuendo. Daryl is the obvious choice here. He fulfills every “bad boy” fantasy that a girl can ever have. Motorcycle: check. Can be really sweet, but then turn around and be kind of awful, AKA “the tortured soul complex”: check. Knows his way around a weapon, in this case a crossbow: check. My opponent accuses Daryl of being dirty. My rebuttal would have to be, yeah, he is! Isn’t that we look for in a good boffing candidate. Lori, put a leash on your kid because this is happening. And if Dale’s trailer is a rockin’…
Kill Peter Bishop: Look, I love Peter Bishop. He’s done more for his woman and the rest of mankind than any guy out there. It just would never work because he looks too much like my cousin. Who happens to be Whitney’s brother. Yeah. Let that one sink in. Sorry, Peter. Maybe in a parallel universe.
Whitney’s Post Script: My brother wishes he was as foxy as Joshua Jackson.
-Ellen and Whitney