FINALLY!!!
-An over-excited Whitney
Web Bytes: Gersberms (Yer Gervin Mah)
As if I need ANOTHER reason to love Chris Harwick. Or Swedish Chef, for that matter. Gersberms, indeed.
-Whitney
Run-On Sentence Reviews: Jack the Giant Slayer
I went into this with fairly low expectations which I find usually leads to me quite enjoying a movie so it should come as no surprise that I quite liked this even though it wasn’t anything amazing it was still enjoyable and Ewan McGregor was super fine and I swear he doesn’t age and Nicholas Hoult was pretty adorable as well and all in all, it was a pretty good time at the cinema.
Verdict: If you are looking for pure, escapist fun (or if you also enjoy watching Ewan McGregor), then you just might enjoy this movie.
– Ellen
Web Bytes: The History of Rap 4
File this one under “Never Gets Old”.
Fangirly Crush of the Week: Enrico Colantoni
Folks, the TV gods have smiled on us. The Veronica Mars movie is FINALLY HAPPENING! In honor of this truly momentous occasion, I’m naming Enrico Colantoni, Mr. Keith Mars himself, as our Fangirly Crush of the Week. While there was an abundance of boffable bros on the show, I gotta say that it was Veronica’s lovable father that stole my heart. So here’s to you Mr. Mars. I don’t know how we’ve survived without you. Seriously.
-Whitney
Fangirl Poetry: Ode to Daryl Dixon the Zombie Slayer
If you’re looking for some helpful tips
For surviving the zombie apocalypse
You’d better talk to Daryl Dixon,
That unwashed, crossbow wielding vixen
Although he talks like a total hick
And his brother is a crazy dick
He’s the hottest guy on AMC
Even Don Draper would likely agree
He’s a ladies dream, the ultimate male
With him, I wouldn’t mind sharing a jail
And the sexiest thing, no if, but, or maybe,
Was watching this badass cradle Rick’s baby
If I were his post-apocalypse mate
I’d happily help him repopulate
Until then, I’ll sit and watch him kill walkers
And join his legion of fangirl stalkers
In singing the praises of Daryl Dixon
The man, with whom, I wouldn’t mind mixin’
-Whitney
Web Bytes: Much Ado About Nothing Trailer
Could my day get any better? I stumbled upon this trailer today and am now only upset that it took me a full week to do so.
Much Ado About Nothing has always been my favorite Shakespeare play, so when you throw in Joss Whedon, one of my favorite people out there, I’m sold.
The trailer has done nothing to put a damper on said excitement. In fact, it increasing with alarming frenzy after each viewing of the trailer. Maybe I should just stop watching it?
– Ellen
Veronica Mars Movie: IT’S ON!
Well, that’s it. I have reached my happiness quotient for the month. Nothing could possibly make me happier this month than this news. Sure, my best friend is getting married this month, but as a fellow Veronica Mars fan, I’m sure she’ll understand.
Rob Thomas and Co. have started a Kickstarter campaign to raise enough money to film the VM film this summer and all they need is our money! But wait, there’s more! Depending on how much you donate, you get all sorts of goodies. For myself, I donated $50 and with that I get a DVD of the movie, a digital version of the movie, a copy of the script, and a T-shirt.
If you have any love whatsoever for this wonderful, underrated gem of a show, at least go watch the campaign video that they created. I laughed, I cried, and I got crazy excited to think that I will get more Veronica Mars!!
– Ellen
House of Cards: The Future of TV?
Even with rave reviews and one of the best casts in TV history, I was not super eager to watch the Netflix original series House of Cards. To tell the truth, hard-boiled political dramas are just not my thing. Last night, however, I was in the perfect TV watching mood (acute ennui and a fierce reluctance to do homework) so I gave it a try. Folks, it’s pretty great.
Just to give you an idea, House of Cards is sort of like Richard III meets Party Animals. Antihero Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) soliloquizes and back stabs his way through Washington with the help of his equally ambitious wife Claire (Robin Wright). And even for those of us who don’t know a platform from a pork barrel, the political intrigue is pretty fascinating.
The truth is, however, I don’t think that House of Cards is going to be remembered for what a great show it is. It’s going to be remembered for the way it has revolutionized TV. Sites like Netflix and Hulu are offering quality shows like this without the commercial breaks and week-long intervals between episodes. And while I am not at all looking forward to the death of network television, it’s pretty clear that this web series thing is the way of the future. And really, if it’s good TV, does it matter what type of screen you’re watching it on?
-Whitney
Mixin’ It Up: March’s Playlist
These posts take me a while to write, so let’s skip the chit chat and get to it.
“Little Numbers” BOY – This is my number one pick that I’m pushing this month because I want more people to be as obsessed with this song as I am. I just saw them them in concert this past Friday and they were so adorably genuine and just plum excited to be singing their songs for people. Not to mention, the song is dang catchy. I dare you listen and not start bopping your head or humming along by the last chorus.
“Heartbreaker” Alabama Shakes – Last month began my love affair with Alabama Shakes. I may be a little behind, but I have certainly made up for lost time over the past few weeks. I love the Brittany’s voice and the sort of old school soul and garage band rock melding that they have going on. Rather than recommend their two main tracks (“Hold On” and “Boys and Girls”, both of which I LOVE), I thought I would recommend the B-side-ish tracks that I really like. “Heartbreaker” has all the possible passion that could fit into one song.
“Breakin’ Up” Rilo Kiley – I had to include a Rilo Kiley song in this month’s mix because I am so excited for their new album that is coming out next month. Like, beyond excited. This is mainly due to the fact that they have not come out with a new album since 2007! “Breakin’ Up” is a little more peppy than what I am expecting from their new album, but that doesn’t make me love it any less. (The video I linked is this goofy, homemade video, but their dancing amuses me).
“White Nights” Oh Land – While I don’t think I will ever be able to endorse Girls, I can safely say that I fully endorse the Girls soundtrack. It has given me a few price gems, such as “White Nights” from this band I have never heard of. It’s great. Thanks for this, Girls, but stay away from Parks and Recreation Emmy awards.
“Velvet Elvis” Alex Winston – While driving to the aforementioned concert this past weekend, my friend played this odd little song for me. It is about a girl who is in love with a velvet portrait of Elvis. I know what you’re thinking. “Another Velvet Elvis song?” But this was the earworm that would not leave after I listened to it, so I proceeded to buy and listen to it for three days, as you do with earworms. Which brings us to present day, where I am still listening to it on repeat.
“Girl from the North Country” Bob Dylan & Johnny Cash– I’ve always been a mix girl rather than an album girl. I am often made fun of for my eclectic mixes, but variety is the spice of life. I think this is why I have always loved soundtracks. They are mix CDs made by your favorite filmmakers and the songs have little music videos in your favorite movies. Over the course of my three viewings of Silver Linings Playbook, this song has endeared itself to me. Believe me, no one is more surprised than me to have two Bob Dylan songs in two months’ mixes, but it happened.
“Say You’ll Be There” Spice Girls – I was recently discussing the value of Spice Girls with a friend of mine and I’m just going to come out and say it: I STILL love the Spice Girls. I bust out my Spice Girls albums on the regular. They are just a plain ol’ good time and I am not going to hide in shame, so if you are in the LA area and you see a girl blasting this song in her car with reckless abandon, you’ll know who it is.
“Temptation” New Order – I have encountered New Order a few time on my hipster movie soundtracks and have come to the conclusion that I love New Order. Any time they are on a mix or soundtrack, that song is always my favorite song on the CD. When I got the Perks of Being a Wallflower (I haven’t seen it, but why wouldn’t I usually like the soundtracks of hipsterific movies set in the 80s) soundtrack and saw that there was a New Order song, I knew that I was a goner. Sure enough, I love “Temptation”.
“Skin” BOY – Another sampling from BOY. I had to include this song and link a video that someone took from the show that I went to because while I like the original recording of this song, I really loved the stripped down, melancholy version that they do live. Now I can only wish that they will release this version somewhere so that I can download it and have it as my own.
“Always Alright” Alabama Shakes – Another Alabama Shakes song, also featured on Silver Linings Playbook, because I just can’t get enough. Seriously, watch the linked video and answer me this: How cool is she? I love her.
– Ellen
MBK: Ben Wyatt, Shawn Spencer, and Damon Salvatore
This weeks Marry Boff Kill is perhaps the most contentious in recorded history. We will be deciding the fates of three of TV’s handsomest men: Ben Wyatt (Parks and Rec), Shawn Spencer (Psych), and Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries).
Whitney’s Answers:
Marry Shawn Spencer: Anyone who doesn’t think that Shawn is marriage material is an old sponge with hair hanging off of it. He’s funny, self-employed, and he kinda looks like a young Andrew Lincoln. Also, because Shawn and his BFF Gus are something of a package deal, I would be getting two smokin’ hot men for the price of one. To not take that deal, I would have to be just like Topher Grace walking on the beach at the end of In Good Company.
Boff Ben Wyatt: Is it ethical to boff someone out of curiosity? I mean, we know Damon can boff with the best of them, and Shawn has a long-standing reputation as a ladies man, but Ben Wyatt is something of a mystery. So I’d boff him, you know, just to see what the deal is. Does that sound slutty? I’m sure my mother will let me know.
Kill Damon Salvatore: I really have no problem killing Damon because he is a lead character on a show that is notorious for killing people and bringing them back to life. I’m pretty sure that the writers of VD will think of some supernatural plot device that will have him up and dancing on that banister again in no time.
Ellen’s Answers:
Whitney, you ignorant slut. This is the only real course of action…
Marry Ben Wyatt: Ben Wyatt has all the qualities that this girl looks for in a mate. Namely, that he would be a most faithful, lifelong Comic Con companion. I would support him in his every endeavor, whether they be lackluster claymaish shorts or his Low Cal Calzone Zone. We would enjoy nights of Game of Thrones viewings and lively debates on the value of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. How can a real fangirl not marry this fellow nerd? Ben Wyatt, I like you and I love you.
Boff Damon Salvatore: Whitney, you shock and amaze me. How can you post your above picture of the infamous bannister dance and NOT boff Mr. Salvatore? And look at that cock of the eyebrow. I could never resist. I think I can safely say that if Damon Salvatore is ever in a round of Marry Boff Kill, he is always the ONLY option for boffing. I don’t want to marry into all that broody, self-loathing, immortality. But a night of passionate vampire boffing? Check, please.
Kill Shawn Spencer: As is the case with most killings in this game, this one grieves me. I love Shawn Spencer and a life with him would one full of laughter and adventure. But… he’s also a manchild and this girl likes men. While I take much joy from watching his childish antics every week (or when USA deigns to air this show every six months to a year), I don’t think I would want a lifetime of them.
Who got it right? What are your answers?
– Whitney and Ellen
TV Obituaries: RIP Better Off Ted
You know what I hate? I mean, other than perfume commercials, mashed potatoes, or sentences that end in a preposition? I hate watching a young show get cut down in it’s prime. Three years after its cancellation, I’m still reeling from the loss of ABC’s Better Off Ted. Speaking as someone who strongly feels that the world can never have enough zany workplace comedies, the show was the bright spot of my week during its brief two season run.
On paper, the premise of this show seems pretty ho-hum. Ted Crisp (Jay Harrington) manages a research and development team for a massive corporation. Bored yet? Then perhaps I should mention that Ted’s boss, the stoic and well-coiffed Veronica, is played by the one and only Portia de Rossi, with all the stellar comedic timing and deadpanned delivery we’ve come to love. Oh, are you back on board? Awesome. Let’s proceed.
Of course, you can’t have a great workplace comedy without some great writing attached. I can’t tell you how many funny one-liners I’ve pilfered from this show. Oh no… there’s no stopping it… I feel a cluster-quote coming…!
There was the time Ted and his love interest/employee Linda invented the game of throwing stale bagels into an air vent:
Ted: What are you afraid of? If you throw a game, it’s gonna keep you out of the time-wasters hall of fame?
Linda: No. My position there is secure from getting my art history degree.
Or the time Ted inadvertently forced Ryan the security guard to quit his job:
Linda: So did you hear the latest office gossip? Ryan the security guard quit his job because you’re a giant douche-mobile. That’s right, you’re a douche on wheels. Or perhaps a decorative sculpture hanging above a baby douche’s crib. The gossip didn’t specify.
And how could we forget Veronica, the company mouth-piece:
Veronica: If you want to get the company off this, you have to show them that this new pace will cost them money. Because the company loves its money. If they could, they’d go to strip clubs and throw naked women at money.
Like the Temptations, I ain’t too proud to bed. Please, please, please, watch this show. You can find both seasons now on Netflix streaming!
-Whitney
Fangirly Crush of the Week: Guy from AT& T Commercials
It’s not complicated.
He makes me laugh and I find him attractive.
Yep.
I’m that easy.
– Ellen
Fangirly Investigates: How Many Adaptations is Too Many?
My love of all things Jane Austen is well-documented and thorough, so it should come as no surprise to you that I recently spent a Sunday watching the 5 hour 1995 Pride and Prejudice. Imagine my (non) surprise when this marathon viewing only fueled my urgency to watch the 2005 adaptation within the hour.
This is what I love about adaptations. The 1995 version will forever be my favorite because of its fidelity to the novel, its general humor and lightheartedness, and the Colin Firth-iness of it all, but I cannot deny that the passion and sweeping romantic splendor that Joe Wright infused into his adaptation gets to me, despite some of quibbles with it. For example, I become incensed when Charlotte Lucas lectures Lizzie about her plight in having to marry Mr. Collins and how upset she is because it zaps out every ounce of Austen’s commentary on that character, which is that women did that all the time back then and they were perfectly contented to do so. I am willing to recognize, however, that this would have worked against the passionate, romantic vibe that Wright and co. were setting for the film.
It is due to this example and several others, that, in the opinion of this humble reader and movie-goer, one novel can never have too many adaptations. As long as said adaptation is bringing something, anything, new to the table, it will always be valid. I find it fascinating to see what tones directors set or what story arcs the writers decide to focus on.
I get the argument that Hollywood can’t think up any new ideas anymore and I get that you may not want to pay money to see yet another story that you have seen before. But I don’t think I want to live in a world where the possibility of new Harry Potters doesn’t exist, nor one in which a perfect adaptation of my favorite Austen work, Persuasion, can be produced.
What are your thoughts on adaptation? Is enough, enough? Or do you feel as I do that the more the merrier?
-Ellen
The Return of Psych!
Procedural cop show. Buddy comedy. 80’s nostalgia hour. Stylistically USA’s Psych is a little all over the place. Which, coincidentally, is exactly what Ellen and I love about it. That and the fact that James Roday’s character Shawn Spencer fulfills all our quasi-bad boy needs (motorcycle, complicated relationship with father, spotty employment record, and questionable dietary habits). I guess what I’m saying is, don’t be an incorrigible Eskimo pie with a caramel ribbon. Watch Psych tonight on USA!
-Whitney
Fangirly Oscars Roundup!
I’m feeling pretty good, gang. Not only did I handily beat Whitney in our predictions, but I also won the Oscar pool at the party I went to last night, correctly guessing 15 of the winners. Christoph Waltz and Ang Lee threw me, but I was able to pull it off in the end.
There are going to be naysayers out there (because there always are), but I thought this was a pretty good Oscars. Really, the only locks going in were Anne Hathaway and Daniel Day-Lewis, so it was refreshing to have actual anticipation as the winners were announced.
I have yet to read the reviews on Seth MacFarlane’s performance as host, but I thought he did quite well. As I predicted, he paid much more reverence to the ceremony then people were expecting and possibly hoping. Yeah, sure. He had a song about boobs on film, but that is pretty reverent for Seth MacFarlane. If anything, I was wishing for a smidge more edginess. Knowing how big of a musical geek he is, I loved the Sound of Music bit.
I am going to give best speech of the night to Daniel Day-Lewis. This may be unfair because was undoubtedly well-prepared, but he was eloquence and humility aided by a British accent that makes everything sound better. Ben Affleck gets the runner-up because I am sucker for people saying sweet things about their spouses, which both he and DDL did with great aplomb.
What did you think of the big show? How was Seth MacFarlane? Too tame? Too raunchy? Any disappointments or surprises?
-Ellen
Fangirly Crush of the Week: Seth MacFarlane
This one comes as a special request from Whitney’s mom and because we are such dutiful daughters and nieces, we could never neglect orders from our mothers. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that I too jones for Seth MacFarlane. Also, he seemed quite the apropos pick for this week given his hosting duties at this Sunday’s Oscar Ceremony.
I think I can account for my first lusting after Mr. MacFarlane upon seeing him at Comic Con during the Family Guy panel. I had seen pictures of him and thought him quite handsome, but there was something about seeing him in flesh and blood that really got to me. I am also ashamed to admit that he seemed like a bit of a jackass and that kind of got me, too. Yeah, I guess I’m one of those girls. On the opposite side of the spectrum, the good girl in me likes that he sings like an angel (See below).
I, for one, am quite excited to see what he will bring to the Oscars this year. He will certainly rock the boat a bit, but you can tell from his myriad of pop culture-related jokes on Family Guy, etc. that he loves the movies and I think we will see more of that than people are expecting.
–Ellen
Fangirly Investigates: Oscar Predictions!
We’ve had Golden Globes, SAG, PGA, DGA, WGA, and all those other G’s and A’s, but now it’s time for the mack daddy, the big one. Yep, it’s Oscar, biotches. All other awards kneel before him. I’m still not a hundred percent sure how he got all the clout, but he did. Don’t ask stupid questions!
With the big show looming over us this weekend, we thought we would give you our picks for the big five categories. And the Oscars will go to…
Best Picture
- Amour
- Argo
- Beast of the Southern Wild
- Django
- Les Misérables
- Life of Pi
- Lincoln
- Silver Linings Playbook
- Zero Dark Thirty
Ellen’s Pick: Argo – I got a chance to see all of the best picture nominees with the exception of Amour, and I’ve got to say, it’s a fairly tight race this year. Silver Linings Playbook seems to be gaining some ground, but I think that that after Ben Affleck’s snub in the Best Director category, the voters are going to give it to Argo.
Whitney’s Pick: Beasts of the Southern Wild – Ok, I get that this one is a long shot, but for me is stood out among all the other nominations. The award will probably go to Amour, or Argo, or Zero Dark Thirty, but the last time I checked, none of those other films managed to produce a star half as adorable as Quvenzhané Wallis. That includes you, Ben Affleck!
Best Actor
- Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
- Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
- Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
- Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
- Denzel Washington, Flight
Ellen’s Pick: Daniel Day-Lewis – Had Lincoln not come out this year, I would like to think that Bradley Cooper could have taken it this year because he does a really great job at being funny and sympathetic. But alas, Daniel Day-Lewis reigns supreme and he is THE guaranteed pick of the night.
Whitney’s Pick: Daniel Day-Lewis – After five nominations and two wins, you would think DDL would give somebody else a chance. We get it, you were beyond awesome in Lincoln, and totally deserved that Golden Globe. I, however, would be more impressed if your character wasn’t the most beloved American president of all time. If you get nominated for playing, say, Lyndon B. Johnson then we’ll talk.
Best Actress
- Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
- Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
- Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
- Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts Of The Southern Wild
- Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Ellen’s Pick: Jennifer Lawrence – Gotta give it to my girl, JLaw. Homegirl’s got a solid chance of winning and rightly so. Chastain and Watts could prove to be dark horses, but the voters seem to be digging the year’s only quasi-light fare this year.
Whitney’s Pick: Jessica Chastain – Honestly, this is more of a guess then anything else. Wallis and Watts seems pretty unlikely, and of the three remaining nominees, I think Jessica Chastain is all over it.
Best Supporting Actor
- Alan Arkin, Argo
- Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
- Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
- Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
- Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Ellen’s Pick: Robert De Niro – In what I see as the closest race of the night, I’m going to go with who I think the Academy likes the most, which leaves me with ol’ Bobby De Niro. But, really, don’t hold me to this one because it is anyone’s game at this point.
Whitney’s Pick: Tommy Lee Jones – Again, this is a wishful thinking pick. In Lincoln, Tommy Lee knew how to steal and scene and wear a wig, two qualities I look for in a man (ask anybody).
Best Supporting Actress
- Amy Adams, The Master
- Sally Field, Lincoln
- Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
- Helen Hunt, The Sessions
- Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
Ellen’s Pick: Anne Hathaway – This one is hers to lose. I will be SHOCKED if she doesn’t get it. Some people are saying Sally Field could prove to be an upset because… she’s Sally Field, but it’s going to Anne Hathaway.
Whitney’s Pick: (Duh) Anne Hathaway- I would be lying if I said I didn’t love ALL of the Supporting Actress noms, but it’s totally going to be Anne. She absolutely deserves it, after the Academy snubbed her twelve years ago for The Princess Diaries. This is your year, girlfriend!
There you have it? Do you agree? Disagree? Who do you WANT to win? Let us know in the comments! And Happy Oscars, everybody!
– Ellen and Whitney
Fanmanly: Archer
Just to clarify, we don’t think of this “Fanmanly” feature as focusing on entertainment that only appeals to bros, but more focuses on entertainment that is more bro-friendly. That being said, let’s dig into one of my favorite dude-favored shows right now: Archer!
What can I say about Archer other than it is hilarious? As it progresses, I love that this show is similar to Arrested Development in that it totally caters to the fans. “Phrasing” (see below), the danger zone, Archer’s fear of robots, his love for Burt Reynolds, “yuup” and “nooope“, and anything Pam says are all a hundred times funnier when you have watched and loved all of this show.
The voice talent alone should be enough to convince you to watch this show. You have H. Jon Benjamin (Bob’s Burgers) as Archer (who I am ashamedly attracted to and on a related note does anyone else find Benjamin’s voice super sexy?), Jessica Walters (Arrested Development) as his cold but overbearing mother, Aisha Tyler (I remember her from Friends) as the more competent agent at ISIS, Judy Greer (another Arrested alum) as the ditzy, kinky receptionist, Chris Parnell (SNL) as their brainy accountant turned agent, and the unknown to me Amber Nash as the worst HR Director out there.
I will recommend this show with the caveat that it is not for the faint of heart. It is filthy and has its fair share of animated violence, but all that just adds to its…charm? Well, it at least makes for a pretty rollicking, shocking, hilarious, stylistic, spy comedy. Those exist, don’t they?
–Ellen
Archer is available on Netflix Instant
Fan-Rants: [Spoilers] WHAT THE HECK JULIAN FELLOWS?!?
I would like to start off by saying that this post is fraught with spoilers. Fraught. So if you haven’t seen the finale of Downton Abbey you should probably 1) get your act together and 2) don’t read any further, because this is about to get REAL.
I am fully aware that Mr. Fellows, creator of DA and Oscar-winning writer of Gosford Park, probably had very little to do with Dan Stevens’ decision to leave the show. Stevens is a star, baby, and if he wants to head off in search of bigger and better parts, more power to him. (This is me being diplomatic; in actuality I am super pissed). What I can’t condone, however, is the emotional roller coaster Fellows forced us to ride, like a cinematic Splash Mountain. I mean, killing someone off minutes after the birth of their on-screen son? A joyous event that has been three seasons in the making, followed by a fatal, and dare I say totally avoidable, car crash? Not cool. Also, why are we trying to vilify babies? Killing off a lead character every time there is a birth in the family seems a little unfair to the infants in question.
Matthew melodrama aside, I loved this episode. It was nice to see Mrs. Patmore (Lesley Nicol) getting some well deserved extra screen time, and watching the reconciliation between Jimmy (Ed Speleers) and Thomas (Rob James-Collier) was pretty satisfying. Oh, and then there was this…
Good. Grief. We at Fangirly try really hard not to objectify our favorite stars (false) but I think the award for Best 20th Century TV Bod goes to Mr. Allen Leech. I don’t know about you, but I’m suddenly much more optimistic about series four.
-Whitney
