Long, long ago, and far, far away

Lived the galaxy’s #1 Dark Side Bae

He has a big scar, and he likes to wear black

To be sure, he’s a Fangirly Certified Snack

There’s not much ’bout the Force that he doesn’t know, yo

He joined up with Snoke ’cause he couldn’t fly Solo

We wouldn’t say no to a one-night force bond

With this bad boy Han and Leia spawned

He’s bad with people, but good with a saber,

We dig, like the First Order Department of Labor

If you wanna know how to get under that mask,

Radar tech Matt is the person to ask

You’d better act fast, to quench that thirst,

Before rebel babe Rey can get there first