The Reviews are In: Fantastic Four

Posted in The Reviews are In by Whitney Weldon

It would be too easy to join the Fantastic Four pile-on. I will be the first to admit that the amount of vitriol being slung at this movie is beyond excessive; an 8% percent on rotten tomatoes should be reserved for Indiana Jones sequels and Michael Bay movies. HOWEVER, this movie is pretty bad, and I’m ready to tell you how, as tactfully as the crappiness of this film will allow. First, though, lets start with what I liked about Fantastic Four.

The first half of the film is, in a lot of ways, pretty good. Reed Richard (Miles Teller) is a Boy Genius who gets recruited to join a prestigious research institute by Franklin Storm and his daughter Sue (Kate Mara). Reed and Sue, joined by Sue’s brother Johnny (Michael B. Jordan *swoon*) and resident vengeful science nerd Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell), try to crack inter dimensional travel. This is by far the most engaging part of Fantastic Four, watching these five really smart people work to accomplish a common goal. We see friendships form and budding romances emerge. Then… they get superpowers.

I’m not going to give you the rundown on the plot of FF, because we’ve seen three of these things already and everybody knows the drill. Through a series of mishaps the titular foursome are endowed with powers they cannot hope to control. This is the point where the film grinds to a halt. The energy of the first act is lost and we are left with four characters who don’t know how to handle each other or themselves.

It’s really not fair to compare this team to the one that preceded it, but I’m going to anyway. The first FF movies were far from perfect, but at least they interacted with one another in a way that was fun to watch. Chris Evans and Jessica Alba bickered like brothers and sisters should; Michael Chiklis and Ioan Gruffudd bro-ed out; Gruffudd and Alba exchanged furtive glances; Chiklis and Evans verbally eviscerate each other. We just don’t get that from this new team. Sue and Reed’s romance stalls out as quickly as it starts. Johnny and Sue act like two people who’ve never met before but tacitly agree to pretend to be siblings anyway. Johnny and Ben (Jamie Bell) don’t really exchange any dialogue at all until the last thirty seconds of the movie, and the audiences miss out on the antagonistic banter that made their predecessors at least watchable. In the end, what should have brought them together (superpowers) seems to only drive them apart, and they never feel like much of a team.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t seem to matter how bad this movie was because it’s likely that Marvel’s First Family will get a chance to redeem themselves in a sequel. Because that worked out so well the last time.

-Whitney

7Aug2015

Fangirly Birthday Tribute: The Story of Ellen

Posted in Fangirl Poetry by Whitney Weldon

Her life began, as you might assume,

When she beat a hasty retreat from the womb

Her wit was legend by the time she was six,

No one could ever catch on to her tricks

But Ellen cared not for the praise, not one bit,

Even when it came from her dear cousin, Whit

The girls became buddies, of the rarest kind,

No two more alike in spirit and mind

Whitney cried on the day Ellen left for the city

She was now all alone, and it felt pretty… um, bad

Though their visits were fun, they just weren’t enough,

And saying goodbye became rougher than rough

But Ells was just fine, yes she tore it up good,

Doing the things you WISH that you could

And sometimes, she’d think of her poor lonely cousin

For the good times they’d shared, she could count by the dozen

So the girls reunited, and they did it real fast

And were just as close as they’d been in the past

Just one thing now could complete their bliss,

To each wed a guy by the name of Chris

Which totally happened, I swear that it’s true,

I’d go into detail, but that might get too blue

That’s the end of my story, and I hope you’re all awed

By Ellen, the world’s most spectacular broad.

Ells, I hope this birthday poem wasn’t a dud,

But, just in case, I also got you Paul Rudd

–Whitney

6Aug2015

Early Reviews for Fantastic Four are in…

Posted in The Reviews are In by Whitney Weldon

…And it’s pretty much just as I expected. Reviews have been mixed, but most critics say the reboot hasn’t significantly improved or innovated the franchise. Even before it hit most theaters, the movie garnered a measly 10% on Rotten Tomatoes. A. O. Scott of the New York Times said:

“‘Fantastic Four’, despite the dogged efforts of its talented young cast, has nothing. The special effects are at about the level of the early “Harry Potter” movies — lots of glowing green clouds and ice-blue bolts and force fields. The human drama is meager. Once again, the only real pathos belongs to Mr. Bell’s Ben, who finds himself trapped in a stony new body and weaponized by a ruthless government. Mr. Teller stretches, not as an actor but as a digitally enhanced body. Mr. Jordan burns in the same way, and Ms. Mara disappears. Her character also has the power to make other things vanish. I would say she should have exercised it on this movie, but in a week or two that should take care of itself.”

(Ouch. Here’s a link to the full review in case you enjoy a good crucifixion).

Even though I fully expected to be underwhelmed by this movie, I’m still disappointed. Mostly, I just hope that filmmakers who plan to tackle the superhero genre will take something from this: a story doesn’t necessarily need to be dark and gritty to be complex and momentous. Taking this goofy coterie of heroes and simply mixing in some post-adolescent angst is lazy film-making and, from what I can tell, not very true to the source material. These characters- a stretchy professor, invisible lady, human matchstick, and rock monster- are just too whimsical to be taken so seriously. That’s at least something that the first FF movies, despite their many flaws, understood pretty well.

A full Fangirly review is forthcoming, but in the meantime, tell us what you think in our comment section, on Twitter @fangirly2, or email us at fangirlyfangirls@gmail.com.

–Whitney

4Aug2015

Cinema Chutes and Ladders: Summer 2015

Posted in Cinema Chutes and Ladders by Whitney Weldon

It’s August and that means that the summer box office has begun it’s inevitable cool-down. We’re here to give you our take on a few of this summer’s biggest releases and speculate on a few late season stragglers. It’s time for another edition of Cinema Chutes and Ladders!

Ladder

Avengers: Age of Ultron (May 1)

There’s been a lot of talk lately about Marvel Fatigue and the over-saturation of comic book movies. In response I’d like to say, um, boo hoo? What a bummer for audiences that this production studio is churning out these pretty consistently good films that make people excited to go to the movies. The nerve. I, for one, really enjoyed Age of Ultron. It gave me everything I needed from an Avenger movie, like good character moments, and solid performances, and…

Chris Evans chopping wood. Can’t forget about that.

Ladder

Mad Max: Fury Road (May 15)

I wasn’t sold on Fury Road when it was announced last year; I prefer studios to spend their time developing something original rather than rebooting a franchise that flamed out thirty years ago. So you can imagine my surprise when this turned out to be not only one of the best, but in many way one of the most original, summer release. Fingers crossed for a Nux spin-off, am I right?

Chute

Jurassic World (June 12)

I gave Jurassic World an initial good review that I stand by. But when this movie is taken into context with all the other summer releases, it’s definitely one of the weaker links in the cinematic chain. It was fun, but not much more than that.

Ladder

Trainwreck (July 7)

The alternate title of this movie was How Whitney Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Amy Schumer.

Chute

Ant-Man (July 7)

I had one hope for this movie. I only asked that I could make it though Ant-Man‘s 117 minute run-time without hearing the phrase “why don’t you pick on somebody your own size”. I did not get that wish.

Ladder

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (July 31)

It’s really easy for me to forget what an amazing franchise Mission Impossible has been, until I’m confronted with yet another off-the-chain installment of said franchise. In other news, Rebecca Ferguson is my official Girl Crush of 2015. Crossfit has clearly served her well.

Ladder

The Gift (August 8)

From watching the trailer of The Gift, starring Joel Edgerton, Jason Bateman, and Rebecca Hall, I catch whiffs of Single While Female and Fatal Attraction. Since we haven’t seen too many psychological thrillers this season, I’m interested to see how this one shakes out. For now, I’m calling it a ladder based on casting alone.

Chute

Fantastic Four (August 8)

So Twentieth Century Fox, your plan was to take a quartet of inherently ridiculous superheroes whose attempts at film success has nose-dived not once, but twice, and make them grittier? Good call. Hey, maybe next you could remake The King and I as a raunchy sex comedy.

Ladder

Dark Places (August 8)

Probably capitalizing on the success of Gillian Flynn’s last film adaptation, Gone Girl, is a movie that looks stylistically and thematically very similar. Hey, if it’s half a bananas the trailer implies, you can sign me up.

Ladder

Man From U.N.C.L.E. (August 14)

Henry Cavill, why must we always do this? You insist on looking balls-to-the-wall sexy and I’m sent into a celebrity crush tailspin. Do you know how hard it is to live like this? DO YOU!?

–Whitney

3Aug2015

Fangirly Presents Who Wore it Better: Summer Reboots

Posted in Fangirly Fashion Police, Uncategorized by Whitney Weldon

This summer gave us more sequels and reboots than we knew what to do with. Scratch that, we know exactly what to do with them. The Fangirly Fashion Police are standing by to determine who’s hot and who’s not from some of the biggest summer blockbusters, then and now.

Mad Max:

Tom Hardy v. Mel Gibson

I guess this one boils down to preference; do you want your Max dressed like A Guy on a Buffalo or Dystopian Edward Scissorhands? Mel surely gets points for showing us that road warrior couture didn’t need to sacrifice form for function, but I think this one goes to Tom. At least Hardy Boy’s outfit didn’t make me wonder about the chaffing potential of a full leather jumpsuit in a post-apocalyptic desertscape.

Fantastic Four:

Michael B. Jordan v. Chris Evans

This was very close. I wasn’t a dyed in the wool fan of the original Fantastic Four franchise, and I’ve got some reservations about the upcoming reboot. Artistic merit aside, I think I’m going to give this one to Chris Evans’ Johnny Storm. My bias is well-documented, and I like my superhero costumes to look as flamboyant and impractical as can be; Michael B. Jordan’s look is a little too utilitarian for my taste. I mean, look at all that ventilation. A hero should be ready and willing to sweat it out for the sake of fashion. Score Evans!

Poltergeist:

Kennedi Clements v. Heather O’ Rourke

Uh, both? Neither? I’m not sure whether to judge based on respective cuteness or creepiness. Obviously, both of these women know how to work a look. Clements and O’Rourke successfully took these outfits from jammy to whammy, and never have banana bangs looked so on-point. Unfortunately, Heather O’Rourke’s full-length sleepwear is nothing short of iconic, so this one goes to Carol Anne. It’s an ensamble that really says, “I’m hereeeeeeee”.–Whitney

3Aug2015

Choice Picks: The Entertainment Podcasts You Should Be Listening to (According to Whitney)

Posted in Choice Picks, Movies, Music, TV, Uncategorized, Web by Whitney Weldon

My name is Whitney, and I work… in an office.

Everyday presents a new challenge.

And my co-workers are great.

In general, it’s just a really fulfilling way to make a living.

But sometimes, even your dream job can be invaded by occasional moments of tedium and drudgery. I know it’s hard to believe that ennui can set in when you’re making 300 copies of a 90 page, 2-sided insurance document, but it can happen. To combat that, I developed a passionate relationship with podcasts and I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned. Here are the top five podcasts to get you through the workday, according to me (aka The Final Word).

5. The Black List Table Reads

I like to believe that one day, technology will provide me a way to sit at my desk and watch movies all day while appearing only marginally unproductive. The Blacklist Table Reads is the closest thing we have in 2015. It’s essentially a recorded table read of awesome unproduced scripts, performed by some surprisingly big names. Paul Sheer, June Diane Raphael, Rose McIver, and Parminder Nagra are just a few of the many voices you’ll recognize. If you have even the remotest interest in movies, Black List Table Reads should be a safe bet for you.

4. Science V.

Ok, this one isn’t, strictly speaking, an entertainment podcast. It is, however, absurdly entertaining. This show takes popular science fads and pins them against hard scientific data. Before you panic, it’s not remedial Statistics. The format is really engaging and host Wendy Zukerman feels like a BFF waiting to happen. So far, the show has tackled e-cigarettes, race, the female brain, and lots more. Season one just concluded, but that means all of season one is locked, loaded, and ready to binge.

3. Mystery Show

This one is slightly harder to synopsize. It’s sort of like if Veronica Mars were a Wes Anderson movie. It’s a show that ostensibly solves a weekly mystery, but the mysteries are less whodunnit and more “exactly how tall is Jake Gyllenhaal?”. Not kidding about that. It’s laughably addictive. Just trust me.

2. This is Actually Happening

Another entertaining, non-entertainment podcast. I stumbled across this one by accident and became hooked, in spite of myself. It’s people, just ordinary people, sharing stories. The stories themselves can often be hard to listen to, and a few are admittedly very disturbing. It’s sort of like being at a sleep over, post-3 am. You know, when everyone is talking and sharing intimate details about themselves, and suddenly someone tells the most insane, personal, unbelievable anecdote and no one ever mentions it again? It’s like that.

1. Pop Rocket

Pop Rocket is my salvation. Everything I need, I can get from one weekly dose of this show. It’s a round table homage to all things pop culture, hosted by the ineffably charming and hilarious Guy Branum. Every panelist has a particular area of expertise: Guy the Comedian, Wynter Mitchell the Media Strategist, Oliver Wang the Academic, and Margaret Wappler the Journalist. They are all so well spoken, so smart, and so distinctive that they warrant a dedicated Fangirly post of their own (but who has THE TIME?). Point is, you could spend your day trying to make small talk at dinguses with whom you share a work-space, or you could listen to interesting people talk about their passions. I leave it to you.

-Whitney

30Jul2015

Somebody Convince Me: Comic Books

Posted in Somebody Convince Me by Whitney Weldon

I think it’s safe to say that I’m not the most committed nerd. I stopped watching Doctor Who after the end of the Smith Dynasty, I’m only mildly enthusiastic about Star Wars, and I just can’t get worked up about comic books, superhero comics in particular. DC, Marvel, Dark Horse, Image. I live and breathe superhero films, but I just can’t seem to work myself up into the same lather over the hard copy.

Maybe it’s the format. There’s a reason why superhero movies are so much more accessible than the cellulose version, right? Comics are a weird blend of a visual and literary medium and, maybe for some, the formula just doesn’t work.

It’s a pretty good theory, with only one massive, gaping hole. My distaste doesn’t necessarily extend to all comics. I love The Sandman, The Pride of Baghdad, V for Vendetta, Maus, Persepolis. All of those stories are great pieces of fiction in their own right. I know this because each one made me cry so hard, you’d have thought I had just watched the end of Stepmom.

No, it seems like my aversion to comics begins and ends with superhero comics. They just seem so boring. The action, characters, stories all just seem so much more interesting and dynamic in film format. So why does something I love so much on the screen fall so short on the page? SOMEONE EXPLAIN IT TO ME!

–Whitney

29Jul2015

Crush of the Mid-Week: Bill Hader

Posted in Crush of the Week by Whitney Weldon

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 26: Bill Hader and Amy Schumer on the set of

(Photo by Bobby Bank/GC Images)

There is nothing like having one of your highschool TV crushes validated on the big screen. When Bill Hader joined the cast of SNL in 2005 I entered a profound state of smit. He was hilarious and, while not conventionally handsome, possessed all the raw sex appeal of a young Bud Cort. It was good. But surprisingly, Hader didn’t gain a lot of traction as a small-screen heart-throb…

You have my permission to be shocked. Astounded, even.

And even though Hader has had awesome supporting comedic roles in a lot of really funny movies (Superbad, They Came Together) he’s never really been able to break into the Leading Man scene. Till now. I’m probably the last twenty-something on Earth to see Trainwreck, and while I had a few issues, I was ultimately won over (hard) by Hader’s Aaron Conners. If I may be so very bold, I would say that this might be the best Leading Man performance in a romcom, ever. I mean that. He is so effortlessly charming and dreamy that for one brief moment I thought to myself “Chris Pratt who?”

(Joking, Chris. You’re my everything).

Anyway, if you haven’t seen Trainwreck, you should seriously consider it. As a film, I thought it was ok. Pretty good, even. But if you want to witness Hader’s historic rise to Christian Slater level dreaminess, you need to see it. You can thank me later.

-Whitney

15Jun2015

The Reviews are In: Jurassic World

Posted in The Reviews are In by Whitney Weldon

My personal history with the Jurassic Park franchise goes as follows: saw the first movie WAY too young (two, guys, two years old), missed the second movie completely, and spent the third film trying to figure out how Jeff Goldblum wasn’t dinosaur poop. So why then was I full-tilt giddy for the Jurassic World reboot? Come on, guys, think real hard…

My level of indifference toward dinosaurs is directly proportional to my devastating Chris Pratt thirst. But while I went to the theater for the Pratt-nip, I stayed for what actually turned out to be a very good movie.

Chris Pratt plays Owen Grady, a professional dinosaur wrangler who is called in when a new attraction at the new and improved Jurassic World theme park goes haywire. He, along with straight-laced park executive Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) must find a way to avert disaster AND contain the raging sexual tension between them. A tall order for anyone.

Just to be clear, Universal did not reinvent the wheel here. It’s a Jurassic Park movie. There are dinosaurs. But what Jurassic World manages to do very well is combine all the best elements of the franchise so far into one film. It’s scary, and sweet, and has an infectious sense of wonder that I haven’t gotten since the first Jurassic Park. How infectious, you ask? I think my birthday cake this year speaks for itself.

Verdict: Go see it. If you’re already a fan of the movies, then you’ll most likely love it. If not, see it anyway. If Chris Pratt on a motorcycle doesn’t make a believer out of you, nothing will.

-Whitney

10Jun2015

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Nicholas Hoult

Posted in Crush of the Week by Whitney Weldon

Not all crushes are created equal. In fact, I’d say that 85% of our crushes are based on tepid admiration or a need to recognize male excellence when we see it. This week is not one of those crushes. Right now, we’re all about the star of Mad Max: Fury Road Nicholas Hoult. And I mean, all about. We consider it an egregious oversight that it’s taken so long for Hoult to be offered his rightful placed among our esteemed Fangirly Crush coterie. A surprise, given that his most recent roles have really displayed his beauty to best advantage… Be warned, the following images have reportedly caused spontaneous ovulation among susceptible individuals (ladies and inclined gentlemen)…

Obviously, celebrity has treated him well but to us here at Fangirly, Hoult will always be the cute little baby-brit who made us laugh, cry, and sort of care about Hugh Grant in About a Boy.

So we salute you, Nicholas Hoult. Rest assured that if yo shakin’ it, we’ll watch yourself.

-Whitney

10Jun2015

Quietly Sticking it to the Man: What Happens When Whitney Writes the Office Inspirational Quote

Posted in Quietly Sticking it to the Man by Whitney Weldon

How have I not been fired yet?

9Jun2015

The Reviews Are In: Insidious Chapter 3

Posted in The Reviews are In by Whitney Weldon

Horror is a weird genre. I don’t mean weird as in, “hey, look at that guy in the Bob Hope mask stabbing people to death.” I mean, it’s hard to get right, and it’s even harder to talk about. Because a good horror movie should be a little of everything; scary, obviously, but also a little funny and sweet and dramatic and suspenseful and sad, but not so sad you feel like you’re watching a Frederico Fellini movie. The tragedy of Insidious Chapter 3 is that, in a lot of ways, its a much stronger movie than the first two installments because it manages to hit all of these notes, but is forced to live in it’s predecessors culty shadow.

Quinn Brenner (Stephanie Scott) is a high school senior who, after the death of her mother, is left to take care of her family and try to face her looming post-graduation future. In a totally reasonable act of desperation, she reaches out to the spirit of her mom, but what she gets instead is a spectral stalker who wants her to join his harem of girl ghost groupies. Dermot Mulroney is here doing what Dermot Mulroney does best: playing the hapless fish-out-of-water father who is torn between disbelief and desperation as he watches his daughter get physically and emotionally mangled by something he can’t see. (It’s a specific niche, but he totally owns it). Lin Shaye is back as Elise, the medium who must travel into “the Further” to save Quinn’s soul.

Doesn’t sound super ground-breaking, right? That’s because it isn’t. Making a horror movie is like competing in the Hollywood version of Iron Chef; you’ve got to work with the ingredients (tropes) you’re given, and what makes it good is how it all comes together. In this case, there are two things that make Insidious Chapter 3 particularly watchable. The first are the crazy strong performances from Scott and Shaye. Most female driven horror films tend to veer off into a disappointing direction (re: Hellraiser, Halloween, Prom Night, ect.). And while the two female leads are victimized and exploited, this movie is mostly about two women trying to save their souls. Shaye’s Elise kicks an absurd amount of ass, and Scott’s Quinn manages to hit that elusive Scream Queen sweet spot: vulnerable but feisty, angsty but likeable. The male characters are good too, but they are mostly there to fill the obligatory white male quota. There’s even a moment in the movie where Elise tells one of those white males, Quinn’s narratively irrelevant younger brother, that while his presence is appreciated, it’s unnecessary.

The other thing that saves Chapter 3 from horror movie mediocrity is that it’s genuinely scary. I don’t have any problem with pop-out cheap shots (which is good since this movie has several) but there’s also underlying tension in this Insidious that I just didn’t feel in the other two. For reasons that can’t be explained, spoiler-free, Quinn spends most of the movie bedridden or in a wheelchair, and that sense of confinement and helplessness translates into a sort of Rear Window type suspense. The result is a movie that deserves way better than to be labeled as a prequel to movies that are, in some ways, inferior.

Verdict: If you like horror, go see it. It won’t rock your world, but there are more than enough good hand-wringing moments to make up for it.

–Whitney

9Jun2015

Whitney Quietly Sticks it to the Man- Part 1: Making the Office Calendar

Posted in Quietly Sticking it to the Man by Whitney Weldon

“Sinead O’Rebellion…”

4Jun2015

Fan Rants: Death to the Networks!!!

Posted in Fan-Rants by Whitney Weldon

When I initially heard that Fox had cut the cord on our Fangirly Favorite The Mindy Project, my reaction was more or less what you might expect. I sold all my earthly possessions, joined a doomsday cult, and settled in for the End of Days. But from the midst of tragedy, an unlikely hero emerged, destined to redeem us all from a Mindy-less existence. Yes, people, ya heard. Hulu will be picking up Kaling’s brain-baby and giving it new life online.

And this isn’t the first time that a streaming service has needed to step in to save a beleaguered series. Yahoo adopted Community and Netflix resurrected Arrested Development (with debatable success, but still). Not only are these sites delivering really strong, occasionally award-winning, original content to subscribers, they are salvaging the network underdogs that struggle to perform and bringing them back from the dead.

Ok, I’m not an idiot. I know that Hulu probably isn’t doing this out of altruism or some media-messiah complex. They probably stand to make a lot of money from this deal and I have no doubt that the switch will be marketed aggressively. But the fact stands that Hulu is taking a chance on this amazing little show written by and starring one of the only non-white female leads on TV. Ever. Meanwhile, networks are giving us Boy Meets World reboots and a Full House made-for-TV-movie.

This all leads me to ask, do we really need networks? Or are the a relic that is desperately trying to recapture the magic of ten, twenty, thirty years ago? Most shows are available online anyway, and even HBO is offering a streaming service for much less than your exorbitant cable package. As a representative of a generation that watches most of it’s TV online anyway, it’s not a very hard question.

What do you think? Hit us up at fangirlyfangirls@gmail.com, or @fangirly2, and give us what you got.

-Whitney

2Jun2015

Marry, Boff, Kill: The Boys of Summer!!! (Whitney’s Answers)

Posted in Marry Boff Kill by Whitney Weldon

I take an undue level of pleasure in bringing to you our latest round of Fangirly Marry, Boff, Kill. The competition is as tight as the contenders respective outfits and we’re hoping for a clean fight. However, if Ellen starts throwing shade again, I will in no way be responsible for my actions. Today’s contestants are Chris Pratt as Owen Grady (Jurassic World), Nicholas Hoult as Nux (Mad Max:Fury Road), and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Quicksilver (Avengers: Age of Ultron). And since we know you’ve got opinions, go ahead and unleash them on our Facebook page, our twitter @fangirly2, or at fangirlyfangirls@gmail.com.

Whitney’s Picks

Marry: Nux

I realize that the war-boy-turned-unlikely-hero is going to be a hard sell. I can’t imagine my parents being thrilled, especially when they learn that my other choices were a respected dinosaur wrangler and a superhero. To them I say, hey man, Nux might not have a job that pays well (unless he gets paid in raw, manic sex appeal), and our joy might any day be cut short by his cute little tumors, Barry and Larry. But they say the loves that burn brightest are also the most brief. At least I get to send that little psycho off to Walhalla with a smile on his face.

Boff: Owen Grady

I can’t help but think that when your job description involves keeping a bunch of genetically modified tooth-monsters in line, your time as a viable boff is pretty limited. How long until a raptor gnaws off your face, or heaven forbid, you become one of those jaded, Jurassic-World-weary, “I’m getting too old for this Stegosaurus” type dino-dudes. So Let’s do this. You know, before the unthinkable happens and you start to look like Jeff Goldblum.

Kill: Quicksilver

Did you see this coming? I didn’t. Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s turn as Quicksilver was one of my favorite part of the latest Marvel summer screen buster. Not that it wasn’t problematic (‘nother time, ‘nother place), but I did love this character. I loved the hair (yeah, ya heard) and his unconvincing accent and his sexy blue and grey speed suit. It’s all good. But one must go, and by process of elimination, well, here we are. I’m so sorry. You’re great, but you gotsta go. I mean it. Go! Before I lose my nerve! Wait… come back. Ha! Just Kidding! Get out of here!

-Whitney

1Jun2015

Belated Crush of the Week: Tom Hardy

Posted in Crush of the Week by Whitney Weldon

Just a couple of boxes to check before we get to the unapologetic, unflinching brand of male objectification you’ve come to expect and, dare I say deserve, from us here at Fangirly. Firstly, no, I have not seen Fury Road. Yes, it is very high on my docket. And yes, I am fairly pumped about it. Which brings me to…

Tom Hardy. As a rule, not one of my regularly scheduled crushes. That’s not to say that I don’t get it; he’s cute and British and, not to get too graphic, there are some pretty sexy images of him floating around…

Pure mutt smut if I ever saw it. I’m also having a hard time ignoring his look in Fury Road.

I guess I just like a guy who knows how to channel his inner Brendan Fraser. Whatever.

So, Edward Thomas Hardy, we salute you. You keep crushing it, and I guarantee we will be right there with you.

-Whitney

27May2015

Web Bytes: The Fantastic Four Trailer

Posted in Web Bytes by Whitney Weldon

There is not one male character in this movie I wouldn’t happily spawn with. And yeah, I’m including Tim Blake Nelson.

-Whitney

20May2015

Web Bytes: The Poultergeist Trailer

Posted in Web Bytes by Whitney Weldon

It’s hereeee…

-Whitney

20May2015

Fangirl Correspondence: A Letter to Ellen

Posted in Fangirl Coorespondence by Whitney Weldon

My Dearest Ellen,

Gracious, how long it’s been! Why, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of your radiant company since we danced together at your brother’s wedding. Too long by half, fair cousin.