Please don’t move, sit right where you’ve sat,

Kick off your boots and untie that cravat

‘Cause I’m dropping a beat ’bout that man among men,

That Highland Hottie, James Fraser, ya’ ken?

For, thanks to his curls and those breeches so tight,

I can’t sleep a wink and I can’t eat a bite

He keeps it so tight, he might rupture a tendon,

He’s the world’s most spectacular Fraser, after Brendan

Not to be crass, and not to be crude,

But some people should never NOT be nude

And though it’s easy to get lost in that Scottish lilt,

He’s a person, so much more than what’s under his kilt

He can do all sorts to earn the love of a wench,

Like say, “Hey girl” in Greek and French

 

When presented with one so sexy and bold,

One feels compelled to seek out a shower that’s cold

And though my love for Jamie is pure,

Our courtship will surely be rated “M” for Mature

For roses are red, and the Highlands aren’t flat,

So you can bet I’d take a bite outta that

–Whitney Weldon