Fangirl Correspondence: A Letter to Ellen

Posted in Fangirl Coorespondence by Whitney Weldon

My Dearest Ellen,

Gracious, how long it’s been! Why, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of your radiant company since we danced together at your brother’s wedding. Too long by half, fair cousin.

(I do apologize for the inclusion of Sam’s wayward eyebrow. Those things have no concept of personal space.)

Enclosed is a picture of me, being just too Kevin Bacon for my own damn good.

As so much has happened since we last tore it up, I beg only a few short lines to fill you in…

I started taking better care of myself.

I’m seeing someone new…

(#wordplay)

I’ve made Pinterest my prison wife.

I have resolved, many times, to watch less TV and dedicate myself to my studies. A resounding triumph, obviously.

And now I’ve moved home for the summer, where accommodations are decidedly less expensive.

I hope that this letter finds you well, and still the baddest of mama jamas.

I’ve also included an artists rendering of what you and I will look like in 20 years. I hope you are as trilled with the results as I am.

Yours Ever,

Whitney

16Apr2015

Web Bytes: Star Wars: The Force Awakens Teaser #2

Posted in Movies, Web Bytes by Ellen Lloyd

Drop the mic.

– Ellen

13Apr2015

Run-On Sentence Review: Daredevil

Posted in Run-On Sentence Reviews, Sweet Streams, TV by Ellen Lloyd

I spent my weekend watching all Netflix’s first collaboration with Marvel and maybe you did, too or maybe you have more of a life than I do and spent your weekend being social and getting outside, but I digress, as I usually do with these things, but if you haven’t checked out this new series I definitely think you should give this a watch because it completely redeems the character from his previous, lesser, portrayals and this is quite a departure for Marvel because it is grisly, dark, and layered, without ever having the DC and that is something I can get behind because if you like superheroes and/or Breaking Bad this just might be the show for you because it puts a troubled hero with some super powers (keen senses due to radiation, which is pretty par for the course in comic books, apparently) into the seedy underbelly of the crime world and it is fantastic with really great performances all around but especially by Charlie Cox as the titular masked vigilante and some of the most kick A fight sequences that I have seen and certainly that I have seen on TV (well, Netflix).

Verdict: Only you can know if this could be up your alley, but if it even sort of sounds like it might, you need to check it out.

6Mar2015

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Aziz Ansari

Posted in Crush of the Week by Ellen Lloyd

Listen, we have given a lot of love to some of the other Parks men on this site. Specifically, Adam Scott and Chris Pratt, because why wouldn’t we? But with the debut of Aziz’s new stand-up special on Netflix today, I thought it was time to spread the love because I have a lot of love in my heart for Aziz. Much like Tom Haverford, he is smooth like chocolate. I may not lust after Aziz the same way I do some of our other crushes of the week (looking at you, Chris), but I crush on Aziz in much the same way that I crush on puppies in that I think both are adorable and they make me laugh. Granted, I laugh at puppies when they fall over or make funny noises and I more often laugh at Aziz when he is calling tortillas bean blankies or doing bits on getting concert tickets on Craigslist, but the love is still there. Aziz is up there with former Crush of the Week, John Mulaney, for having my most quoted stand-up and I can never look at sheets, TNT dramas, or Kanye West the same way.

Here’s to someday getting to see Tom Haverford’s sexy times ritual. “I have a ritual and it starts on the couch. We sit down, clap my hands, lights dim, Boyz II Men fades in…”

– Ellen

6Mar2015

Sweet Streams: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Posted in Get with the Program, Sweet Streams, TV by Ellen Lloyd

Netflix released the first season of their new show Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt today, so of course, I have already watched the whole thing. And I loved it. That is going to be pretty much a guarantee if you attach Tina Fey to a new project. Tina and fellow 30 Rock executive producer Robert Carlock bring us this new show about an unbreakable girl named Kimmy Schmidt (get it?) who moves to New York for a fresh start after being released from an underground bunker where she has been living for 15 years with her apocalypse cult sisters. Did you follow that?

Admittedly, I wasn’t immediately sold on this show after the first episode, but much like 30 Rock and every other comedy, it really finds its groove as it moves along. Ellie Kemper is utterly charming as the titular Kimmy, who is just rife with sunny optimism, 90’s pop culture knowledge, and a middle school naivete (she was kidnapped 15 years ago, remember?). The rest of the cast gets plenty time to shine with Tituss Burgess as Titus Andromedon, Kimmy’s new roommate, Carol Kane as Lillian, their eccentric landlord, and Jane Krakowski as Jenna Maroney, I mean, Jacqueline Voorhees, Kimmy’s rich boss who hires her as a nanny.

The best praise I can give this show, though, is that it is very similar to 30 Rock in it’s pacing and humor with the sunny optimism of Parks and Recreation. If you know me at all, you know that is high praise indeed. The jokes are rapid fire, making rewatchability high, the guest stars are high caliber (I wouldn’t dare spoil some of them for you), the pop culture references are a plenty (the Olsen twins are actually the Olsen octuplets), and there are moments so bizarre that they rival “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” (VH3’s Joe Invisible Millionaire, anyone?). Kimmy, who responds to someone calling her a bitch with “A female dog? The thing that makes puppies?”, has the same can-do spirit as Leslie Knope. Also, at first glance she may be misjudged as weak given the whole cult thing, but really she is a strong, independent woman who doesn’t get taken down easily. Also, if you like snappy theme songs that are based on fake viral videos, then this is the show for you.

To sum it all up, I’m already eager for season 2 (the only issue I have with the Netflix model of entire seasons at once) and I recommend that you join me in the wait.

–Ellen

3Mar2015

Sweet Streams: Friends

Posted in Sweet Streams, TV by Ellen Lloyd

Have you heard of this quaint little show? It’s kind of under the radar, but I really think you should give it a shot.

Friends is the first show I remember actively watching. I’d tune in every week or, if that wasn’t possible, get my neighbor to record that week’s episode on an old VHS tape. If you have ever read this blog or know me at all, then you know that this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship between TV and myself. And as they say, you always remember your first.

Like I’m sure a lot of you, I have been taking advantage of Netflix’s recent addition of the show’s 10 seasons to binge my old fav and it really is like hanging out with an old friend. But only if that friend ended up being a lot more dirty than you remember them being, to the point of calling your mom and asking why she let you hang out with said friend, to which your mother may respond that you didn’t understand any of their dirty jokes anyway. However, I’m fairly certain it is this humor (that went over 8-year old Ellen’s head) that is causing me to enjoy it more this time around because I get the jokes! And these friends are some dirty birdies! Am I the only person who didn’t realize how much this show was about sex? Why did I love it so much if I didn’t understand what was going on? How I’d love to remember what I thought they were talking about when discussing things like erogenous zones.

Besides the flip phones, Rachel haircuts, and clothes that I tried to mimic in middle school, this show totally holds up. Perhaps I am enjoying it more now because I am the same age as the gang circa season 3. Give me a moment. I have to stop and let that sink in, I mean, Ross had already been married. Just the first marriage, but still. Or maybe I am just enjoying the nostalgia factor, but either way I’m finding it very enjoyable.

So let Friends be there for you, like it’s been there before.

– Ellen

2Mar2015

Web Bytes: The Dratchelor

Posted in TV, Web, Web Bytes by Ellen Lloyd

It’s finale night, Rosies! How did I just discover that Rachel Dratch does a recap show of The Bachelor? And how did I get wrapped up in this show again? I love Rachel Dratch and I love making fun of The Bachelor so this is a great new discovery for me.

– Ellen

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f84591d23d/the-dratchelor-near-final-episode

26Feb2015

TV Obituaries: RIP Parks and Recreation

Posted in TV, TV Obituaries by Ellen Lloyd

Thank you all for being with me during this trying time. Parks and Recreation left us peacefully two days ago and there is no other show that more deserved to go out on its own terms. Whitney already gave Parks a moving and appropriate tribute, but this show more than any other deserves an extra.

If I have recommended Parks and Rec to you in the past, you have heard my pitch, but it remains the same. Parks and Recreation is truly a special show because it is that rare breed of comedy that is all at once optimistic, smart, joyous, and oh, hysterically funny. This breed is so rare that I’m not even sure there is another.

Comedies are my jam, but what I have always loved about Parks is that I leave every episode feeling uplifted because (Jerry jokes aside) the humor rarely comes from malicious place. The show is truly special because it is about a group of people who are crazy degrees of different but who still love each other and (to varying degrees) love what they do. Mainly because they get to do it together. The show’s series finale was the perfect encapsulation of this, the perfect send-off to our little band of weirdos and I cried more times than I would like to admit because it wasn’t really that sad. I cried because I am losing my best (TV) friend.

I’m really going to miss Pawnee and all of its eccentricities, because the town is a character in and of itself, but more than anything I am going to miss watching the Parks department and the genuine love that they have for each other. It truly is the most enjoyable show that you could ever watch and I highly suggest that you get on Netflix if you have never had the extreme pleasure of watching this show.

So bye, bye, Parks and Rec. I already miss you in the saddest fashion.

– Ellen

24Feb2015

Run-On Sentence Review: The DUFF

Posted in Movies, Run-On Sentence Reviews by Ellen Lloyd

This generation needs a good high school movie because the 80’s had the John Hughes catalog, the 90’s had such cinematic classics as Clueless and She’s All That, the early 2000’s brought us Mean Girls, and most recently we’ve had Easy A, but these tweeting, vining, posting, snapchatting, tumblring, blogging, vlogging young scamps need a film of their own and The DUFF is the best we’ve had in a while because it is funny, sweet, has a great soundtrack, and a hot guy, which are basically all the makings of a great teen movie and the cast is great fun with, dare I say it, the hotter Amell and the always endearing Mae Whitman (her?) as the leads and the latter playing what always felt like a real representation of a teen girl to me because she is strong but still goes through some self-doubt, which we just all do at that age, and I know the acronym for DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) is a bit off-putting to some but the film ends with a good message and some confidence building for our young friends and this is coming from someone, who I’ve come to realize, was (and still probably is) the DUFF of every friend group she has ever been a part of and someone who is okay with that.

Verdict: If you are an adult and still enjoy some of those movies I mentioned, then you will prpbably enjoy this one.

– Ellen

16Feb2015

J-Fal and JT Bring It All Home In This 40th Anniversary Tribute

Posted in Web Bytes by Whitney Weldon

If you’re aren’t in tears at the end of this clip, you probably… had a normal childhood. Regardless, this will make your day.

-Whitney

16Feb2015

Fangirly Poetry: A Lyrical Sendoff for Parks and Rec

Posted in Fangirl Poetry by Whitney Weldon

I feel there’s much I need to say,

So many respects I need to pay

My sorrow is depth-less, my grief without bounds

I swear to Zorp, my pain is as bad as it sounds

You dare ask the source of my soul’s deflation?

‘Tis the terminus of my sweet, sweet Parks and Recreation

But we come here, neither to mourn nor to grieve,

As Knope and Co. prepare to take their leave

We should celebrate, honor, and thank it,

The show that warmed us, like a toasty Bean-Blanket

Remember it’s humor, and wit, and grace,

And the time Ben and Leslie got to first base

Remember Leslie, a woman of class and smarts

Who makes me proud to own Lady Parts

Remember that, should your heart you ever misplace,

Burt Macklin will always be on the case

I’d have no regrets, could I but get one wish

To once more see Ann, that beautiful, tropical fish

If nothing else, we take comfort in this,

There’s one person, at least, we really won’t miss

Now we send you off, with a kiss and a prayer,

We’ll never forget you, by this dead crow I swear

-Whitney

10Feb2015

Indisputable Proof that Tina Belcher is My Spirit Animal (and Maybe Yours)

Posted in Fangirly Exposed! by Ellen Lloyd

It does not bode well for me that the TV character I most relate to is an awkward, hormonal, 13-year old but that’s where I’m at right now. That’s right, Bob’s Burgers‘ Tina Belcher is my spirit animal and there is a lot of proof in the pudding.

We are avid romance readers and writers and sometimes our art imitates life. Guilty, so, so guilty.

The athletic arts are not exactly our strong suit. I got a C in PE in the sixth grade because I couldn’t throw or catch a ball.

Sometimes life is hard on us and we respond accordingly. I feel ya, sistah.

We have curious minds and aren’t afraid to get straight to the facts. I settled for Cosmo articles, but she is more ballsy.

We are not the smoothest operators. But Tina gets more action than I do.

We are not the best with makeup. This one hits so close to home. I am about as capable of keeping makeup on my face as a toddler.

We have very sensual, realistic dreams. I mean, I don’t want to reveal too much…

Our glasses are both our identity and our struggle. Four-eyed salute.

We are not exactly graceful. I can’t do yoga in public places because it is far too embarrassing.

Hence the reason we like to practice at home. I am a fan of the at-home workout due to the uncoordinated thing.

Our first times driving were pretty much the same. Our dads were about the same, too.

We stand out at dance parties. For our awesome but subtle moves. I go for the shoulder shimmy.

We agree on the real reasons to go to sporting events. I once spent an entire Dodgers game checking out right field’s hinder.

And to cap it off, we both wanted the same thing for Christmas.

Some of these qualities are not quite enviable or flattering but I could not be more proud to be like this strong, sensual woman.

– Ellen

9Feb2015

Fan Rants: Why You Should Be Watching Agent Carter

Posted in Fan-Rants by Whitney Weldon

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with one of my Fellow Fems about female under representation in pop culture (like many a pretentious, twenty-something, bra-burner before us). She made the inevitable leap to how unfair it was the Marvel’s Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) doesn’t have her own stand alone movie. My initial response was, ‘right on, sister’. Then I asked if she’d been watching ABC/Marvel’s new series Agent Carter. She answered that, no, she wasn’t. Come again?…

It’s probably the worst kept secret in network TV history that Agent Carter is serving as a dry run for strong female leads in the MCU. If smart, empowered, beautiful, charasmatic Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) can’t draw crowds with a limited run TV show, why should Marvel shell out millions upon millions to make a female driven superhero movie? And let’s not kid ourselves, Carter is enjoying pretty abysmal ratings, despite the fact that, in my opinion, it’s a good show. It’s got a great lead in Atwell, James D’Arcy as bulter Edwin Jarvis makes for an awesome Girl Friday, and frankly, it’s been much fresher and more entertaining than Agents of Shield ever was in it’s first season. So why in the Susan-B-Anthony can’t this show seem to thrive?

I keep coming back to one thing. Because really, there is only one reason I can think of why audiences would be more receptive to a Black Widow stand alone than a Peggy Carter one. Black Widow is defined by her sexuality. I mean, yeah, she can quip with the best, and kick all the necessary ass, but she’s also severely underwritten and hyper-sexualized. If Peggy Carter ran around in a black cat-suit, would that make her more marketable? I’m actually scared of the answer.

I guess what I’m getting at is, let’s not perpetuate the idea that Marvel’s fan base won’t support strong, independent, female leads with more to offer than their butt-kicking capacity and deft application of feminine whiles. Let’s promote female characters with emotional depth and intelligence and appeal that isn’t directly related to how good they look in skin-tight stealth suits. Watch Agent Carter, Tuesday’s at 9 on ABC, and you’ll see what I mean.

–Whitney

6Feb2015

Crushes of the Week: Chris Pratt and Chris Evans (AKA Chris Prevans)

Posted in Crush of the Week by Whitney Weldon

We’ve crushed on Pratt. We’ve crushed on Evans. But this week, we’ve fallen prey to the combined charms of our two favorite Marvel Males, whose Super Bowl hijinks made the years most watched sporting event more, you know, watchable. We’ll be sitting down to talk with Chris Prevans, an exclusive interview you’ll only be able to find here, on Fangirly. Here they are now…

Whitney: Gentlemen, it’s a real pleasure to have you… here, at Fangirly. Last weekend was the Super Bowl. Pretty good game, right?

Evans?

Oh. A man of substance. I like it.

There seems to be a bit of a bromance brewing between you two.

Oh…wow…

Ok, guys, we can’t do this here…Chris Pratt, what are you doing?!

I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, but you’re married, you know? Some things can never be…Please don’t cry…

Point taken. Let’s talk about your plans for 2015. What can we expect from the Chris’?

Oh… this year? Man, I don’t know how to tell you this… you didn’t get nominated…

It’s a really tough break. You were pretty good in Snowpiercer.

I feel your pain. But Chris Pratt didn’t get a nom either, and he’s handling it pretty well. Right, Chris?

Ok, let’s try something else. Is there anything you’d like to tell the fans? Help them get to know the real Chris Prevans?

Oh, ok. That’s not really what I had in mind-

Wait, huh?-

No, guys-

You’re definitely aren’t alone there, but-

Ok, better…

And on that note, we are all out of time. Thank you, Chris Prevans, so much for taking the time to talk with us. Congratulations on being altogether too much for us to handle.

–Whitney

30Jan2015

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Hozier

Posted in Crush of the Week, Music by Ellen Lloyd

It has been so long that I have almost forgotten how to do tYPing THIng, but I imagine I’ll get the hang of it again.

While I may have been crap at posting Fangirly updates, worry not because I have remained diligent on the crushing front. One such victim over the past couple months has been Hozier. This only seemed fair after a friend and I spent the entirety of his performance at the Victoria’s Secret runway show discussing the various things we would let him do to us, some of which I could mention here but won’t. You will undoubtedly know Hozier from his now overplayed hit “Take Me to Church”, but I highly recommend you check out the rest of his self-titled album because it is all great and his voice is so swoony. If you already indoctrinated in the tunage of Hozier, check out these amazing covers he did of Arctic Monkeys and Ariana Grande.

He’s the sweet, grungy rocker of my dreams.

– Ellen

18Nov2014

Web Bytes: The Best Scene from Guardians of the Galaxy You Never Saw

Posted in Web Bytes by Whitney Weldon

I present to you: How Guardians of the Galaxy SHOULD have ended.

–Whitney

10Nov2014

Grade A, Choice Picks: Top Dogs in Pop Culture

Posted in Choice Picks, Movies, TV by Ellen Lloyd

The readers of this blog can be split into two camps: those who we know in real life and those who we don’t. I think we are now to the point where we have more stranger-danger-readers, which is awesome! If you DO know me in person, this will not be news to you because I have not stopped instagramming pictures, but this past week I got a puppy and named him Steve!

As you can see, he is pretty much the cutest thing ever. However, he is also a massive time suck so I have had little time to think of anything but dogs. That being said, I give you a list of my favorite dogs from pop culture. I know that some of you are going to give me grief for leaving off some of the more iconic pop pups so I have made sure to include them in the honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions: Pluto, Scooby Doo, Tramp from Lady and the Tramp, Chance and Shadow from Homeward Bound, Hooch from Turner and Hooch, the 101 Dalmatians, Beethoven from Beethoven, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Blue from Blue’s Clues, and Nana from Peter Pan

10. Ren from The Ren & Stimpy Show – Sure, he’s got some anger management issues but I’m pretty sure that I would too if I was always having to put up with Stimpy’s “happy, happy, joy, joy” “eediot” schtick. I respect occasional control and this is coming from someone who doesn’t usually like chihuahuas.

9. Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog – Right along with Ren, Triumph doesn’t take any crap and, in fact, will insult you right to your face. Whether he is calling out nerds at the premiere of a Star Wars movie or humping fellow dogs at the Westminster Dog Show, Triumph’s humor is always biting and not in the way that is going to get him sent to the dog pound.

8. Snoopy – As my new little buddy is a beagle, I have a newfound respect for this ace flying pooch. I suppose I have an affinity for wise-cracking dogs because Snoopy is also not a dog to be pushed around. He isn’t one to take Lucy’s ribbing lying down and he doesn’t have much respect for his owner, but then who does?

7. Air Bud – What other dog can play basketball, football, soccer, baseball, and volleyball? And yes, those are all real movies in which a dog plays all those sports. That happened. Makes you feel pretty lame about your dog, huh? Oh, big deal, your dog can play dead? Air Bud can make the penalty kick that wins the championship game. Probably. I don’t know for sure. I didn’t actually watch any of these movies.

6. Brian from Family Guy – There are few dogs out there with the class and sophistication of Brian. This dog can croon with the likes of Frank Sinatra Jr., get some serious tail from a myriad of pretty hot chicks, travel through space and time with Stewie, and may someday finish that book he has been working on.

5. Hercules from The Sandlot – The dog, the myth, the legend. This poor guy gets quite the bad reputation for being a man-eating beast from hell who got locked up FOR-EV-ER when in actuality he is just a protective, slobbery softy with an affinity for baseballs signed by the Great Bambi. “That wimpy deer?”

4. Dug from Up – There is no other dog in pop culture that more perfectly captures the happy-go-lucky loyalty of real life dogs. He instantly loves people upon meeting them and he is always on the lookout for squirrels, just like pretty much every dog I have ever met. Dug and his high tech speaking collar perfectly give voice to dogs everywhere.

3. Wishbone – This Jack Russel Terrier has played Tom Sawyer, Romeo, Sherlock Holmes, Rip Van Winkle, Mr. Darcy and Ichabod Crane, to name a few. I would like to see you get that kind of range from another dog, let alone another human. He’s basically this generation’s Laurence Olivier.

2. Rowlf from The Muppets – I may be in the minority but Rowlf has always been my favorite Muppet, both as a puppy on Muppet Babies (I watched that show so hard as a kid) and an adult dog. He is a cool cucumber who always keeps it together despite the madcap shenanigans that the Muppets get into. As long as he’s got his piano and deadpan sense of humor, it’s all good, baby.

1. Gromit from Wallace & Gromit – I considered naming my puppy Gromit, that is how much I love this claymation pooch. Gromit is far too wise for his dorky owner but that doesn’t stop him from being a loyal pet. Gromit faithfully protects Wallace from a thieving penguin, a sheep-napping cyber dog, and a were-rabbit and is still able to kick back and share some cheese with his “old chum”.

I know that nobody is going to agree with me on the ranking, but who is your favorite pop pup? Feel free to leave comments about how cute my puppy is.

– Ellen

6Nov2014

RIP: A to Z

Posted in TV Obituaries by Whitney Weldon

I do love it when a headline has it’s own rhyme scheme. Much farther down on my list of loves, however, are Fall cancellations. That’s not to say that they aren’t a necessary part of the TV circle of life. When shows die, their carcasses are absorbed back into Mother Pop-Culture and are reborn, under the guise of a “new” show. And so it goes; Cheers begets Friends begets How I Met Your Mother begets Happy Endings begets… CSI: New Orleans? Who knows.

While I’ve been pretty satisfied by most of this year’s early cancellations (Bad Judge, Manhattan Love Story), one has lodged itself in my craw. I know that A to Z wasn’t the strongest contender this year. It’s ratings weren’t great and it was, truth told, just another serial rom-com to clutter the bottom of the DVR, but I liked it. Whereas the aforementioned Bad Judge and Manhattan Love Story were fundamentally flawed, I thought A to Z had a lot of potential. Or that it would, at least, outlive that laugh-tracked disaster Mulaney (sorry John). Because it was funny, and it was clever, and it was going somewhere, albeit a little slowly. Apparently that wasn’t enough for the ‘stach twisting, cigar puffing, show slaughtering fat cats over at NBC. So rest in peace, A to Z. We hardly knew thee… RHYME! Sorry, sad again. So, so sad. It really is too bad. More time is what I wish we had.

–Whitney

31Oct2014

Fangirly Crush(es) of the Week: The Property Brothers

Posted in Crush of the Week, TV by Ellen Lloyd

Happy Halloween! To celebrate, you are getting two for the price of one today. I have been stuck in a Netflix vortex since they recently added bundles of HGTV and Food Network shows. My favorite? Of course it’s those snarky twins, The Property Brothers! A guy who can give me my dream house on a budget all while cracking wise? What’s not to love?

Do you like Drew’s more upscale, businessman vibe? Or maybe Jonathan’s more casual, handyman persona is more your style? Ideally, I like the man can get his hands dirty, but with Drew’s hair. Can I get that?

Good news is that they made a video to help you decide (if you are a fan of the show at all, you should definitely watch).

– Ellen

30Oct2014

Web Bytes: Watch the Avengers Try to Lift Thor’s Hammer!

Posted in Web Bytes by Whitney Weldon

A squeal-worthy clip of Earth’s sexiest heroes attempting to budge Thor’s hammer (surprisingly not a euphemism) followed by a straight-up chilling version of “There are No Strings on Me”. Please to enjoy!

–Whitney