Once there was a girl named Whitney, far too witty and sassy for the general populace to appreciate.
Run-On Sentence Reviews: X-Men: Days of Future Past
Another summer movie for which I was beyond excited and I am happy to report that, at least in my eyes, it did not disappoint and that is not just because Fassbender was looking fresh to death because I don’t know if I have made this clear but I find him very attractive but X-Men had other things in its favor because it was one of the best time travel movies I have ever seen, seamlessly depicting both timelines without ever getting confusing and while I can recognize that this may have been a bit slower than X-Men films of the past, I loved all the character development ooey-gooey goodness, particularly Mystique, and despite an enormous cast of heavy hitters, no one seemed wedged into the story but with some of the characters obviously taking a more central role than others (this has to be the least amount of lines that Halle Berry has had in a movie in years) but one of the roles that I wish we had gotten to see more of was Quicksilver who has the best sequence in the movie and is giving Aaron Tyler-Johnson’s Quicksilver in the Avengers 2 a lot to live up to.
Verdict: If you like the X-Men movies, as I do, then definitely go! (If you haven’t already)
– Ellen
Fangirly Crush of the Week: Colin O’ Donoghue
Sorry that I have been somewhat absent this week, it’s just that I have been really busy bingeing on Once Upon a Time and, as any red-blooded female should, this led to becoming obsessed with Captain Hook, played by Colin O’Donoghue. I am not ready to elaborate on the extent of my obsessive behavior, but suffice it to say my internet history would prove that he has been well and thoroughly googled.
That came out so much dirtier than intended.
I had all but given up on OUAT back in season 2, but all the hullabaloo over this most recent season finale and some recent free time led to me playing catch up. Captain Hook’s addition pretty much re-made the show for me and as I have said on this blog before, I love me a good ship. (Ahoy, Captain Swan shippers!)
All that swarthy, bad boy swagger hiding a troubled heart of gold is the perfect formula to make me swoon. And with an accent to boot! Looks like it’s the pirate’s life for me.
– Ellen
Run-On Sentence Reviews: Million Dollar Arm
I have no beef with schmaltzy Disney sports movies, I mean, I can almost quote the entire speech from Miracle so my problems with Million Dollar Arm do not stem from any preconceived prejudice but just that it wasn’t a great movie because it focused too much on Jon Hamm’s character when I felt like the more interesting story was that of the Indian boys who were groomed into major league baseball players in only 10 months after having never even touched a baseball and this only led to a movie that ended up just being.. boring because I didn’t care about Jon Hamm’s character as much but there are still touching moments and some interesting insight into how the business end of baseball works.
Verdict: Nah. You can wait. Or not.
Run-On Sentence Reviews: Belle
Look, I feel like I have made it more than clear that I love myself a good period drama, at some point I am going to have to stop saying it, so it should come as no surprise that I LOVED Belle because it is a period drama and beautiful one at that that follows an illegitimate mixed race girl (who is beautiful, by the way) who is raised as a lady while still having to deal with the strictures placed on people of color at the time and of course there is a love story attached along with a lot of interesting insight on the rights of both women and people of color during this time and my movie going experience was only made better by being in a theater full of old white people and middle aged sassy black ladies who were very vocal about the injustices being done to our heroine making this maybe the most fun I have ever had watching a period drama and that is saying something.
Verdict: It is either up your alley or it isn’t, but if it is even remotely interesting to you then I highly recommend you go see it.
Run-On Sentence Reviews: Godzilla
You may or may not remember that I was pretty excited to see this movie and blot the 1998 monstrosity from my memory and I am happy to say that this didn’t disappoint and that while I can recognize some of the criticisms that are out there, I would like to point out that this is still a Godzilla movie and you can’t expect an Oscar worthy film from a Godzilla movie and that this gets as close to greatness as I think may be possible because it has some great performances and one that is not so great from Aaron Taylor-Johnson who unfortunately is supposed to be carrying this movie but it’s okay because Godzilla himself more than makes up for it with his general bad-assery (even if he is a fat American Godzilla) and, yes, it may have have been nice to get him in there a little earlier but in the end, I appreciate the slow burn leading up to his triumphant reveal.
Verdict: If you are going to see it ever, I say see it in theaters and get the full effect.
– Ellen
Grade A, Choice Picks: Top Reasons I Have the COOLEST Mom Out There
Look, look, look. I know that everyone is going on about how great their moms are and I believe you, I really do. My mom is pretty great, too, but let’s look at the reasons I have the COOLEST mom out there.
10. She rocks her Beastie Boys CD pretty hard.
9. She sponsors our annual family dance party by outfitting us in our threads (Christmas jammies).
8. She gave me my wry, snarky sense of humor that I get to employ on this blog!
7. She is tech savvy! I have yet get a phone call asking her how to work her iPhone/iPad/laptop/email, etc. Now, Dad on the other hand…
6. She once had a dream where she made out with Adam Sandler in her dad’s Cadillac. (Sorry, Mom. The world needed to know).
5. While most moms were into easy listening (Kenny G, Celine Dion, etc.), my mom scoffed at that music! We were rocking out to Tom Petty, Queen, Van Halen, Blondie, Madonna, U2, INXS, and Alanis, among others.
4. As a four year old, were you headbanging a la Wayne’s World to “Bohemian Rhapsody”? Were you laughing at jokes on Mystery Science Theater that you didn’t get? Was your favorite music video “Centerfold” by the J. Geils Band? (We mainly loved it because of that gif below) Were you and your brother running around the house quoting Saturday Night Live on the regular? Well, I was. And that’s pretty cool, Mom.
3. She gets me. Probably because she created me. Whether we are singing at the top of our lungs on road trips, having phone conversations about our TV shows, or going to see the latest superhero movie together (so that we can ogle the men), we are always having a good time.
2. She laughs. A LOT. Mainly at her own jokes, but I am pretty sure that no one makes her laugh more than her own kids.
1. My mom goes to Comic Con with me every year. BOOM! The ultimate proof that my mom is the coolest.
There you have it. Don’t I have the coolest mom? I sure think so.
– Ellen
Fangirly Crush of the Week: Adam Pally (again)
I can stay silent no longer. The truth is, I’ve wanted to renew Adam Pally’s “Crush of the Week” status ever since his character Peter Prentice was introduced during this latest season of The Mindy Project. This is due to not only his stone-cold sex appeal…
but also to the fact that Peter is an almost exact reprisal of his Happy Endings character, Max. Ok yes, Max was unambiguously gay and Peter is a raging hetero, but their respective dating philosophies are basically identical-
The addition of Peter Prentice is really what made this season of Mindy what it was. That, and also the writing and acting and the rest of the supporting cast. Otherwise, this season was Full-Pally. And because he was our favorite part of our new favorite show, we (me) felt the need to salute him once more. Objections? Anyone?…
I thought so.
-Whitney
Web Bytes: The Fault in Our Stars Music Video (AKA “Let Me In” by Grouplove)
I am more than an little excited for the release of The Fault in Our Stars, so I am latching on to any and all little tidbits that come out and you are just going to have to deal with it.
Check out the music video for “Let Me In” by Grouplove that was just released. It has a lot of brand new adorkable clips (name that one at 0:25) and, hey, the song is pretty good, too!
– Ellen
About Last Night: The Mindy Project Finale (Or How I Learned that Mindy Kaling and I Should be BFF)
I am an unrepentant Nora Ephron fan. That’s a fact. So it would appear that any Nora Ephron fan must now, by default, be a fan of The Mindy Project, especially after last night’s season 2 finale. The episode paid homage to the three greats: Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, and You’ve Got Mail.
In order to be able to cohesively write about this episode, I had to re-watch it a couple times because much of my first viewing incorporated a lot of pillow squeezing and loud squealing. What? This blog has to earn it’s “fangirly” moniker. I’m just doing my part. Continue reading
Fangirly Exposed! : Whitney’s Road to Binge-Watching Recovery
Ellen has taught me a lot through the years. Like, who is the coolest of all the Spice Girls (Baby Spice, duh), or how to dance in a car without endangering myself and others. But perhaps the most enduring skill she ever taught me is how to binge-watch. Harder than it sounds. It takes real strength of will to spend 36 straight hours watching the first two seasons of The Vampire Diaries, but at the end of it we emerged, unshowered and victorious. We’ve been self proclaimed world-class binge-watchers ever since.
But recently I’ve started to wonder if binging is the best way to watch TV (at least in terms of, you know, mental health and productivity). But even this wasn’t enough to make me consider changing my watching habits. As long as I was still able to drag myself away long enough to go to work and earn enough money to feed my habit (and myself) I deemed everything else a totally just sacrifice to the TV Gods. Then I discovered The Americans and officially hit rock bottom.
Maybe it was when I forgot what decade I was living in. Or maybe it was when I almost referred to another human as capitalist scum. Either way, two days later I was caught up and all I had to show for it was 48 misspent hours and some pretty worrying Soviet sympathies.
I realized that just because I was addicting to binge watching doesn’t mean that I enjoyed it. Maybe the binge just isn’t for everyday watching. Maybe TV was designed as a way to tell broad stories in short bursts. Or maybe I just need more of a social life.
Agree? Disagree? Too busy cramming Breaking Bad to care? That’s fair.
-Whitney
Grade A, Choice Picks: Best YouTube Channels for Pop Culture Fans
With so much web content out there, I thought I would narrow it down a bit for you and list my 10 favorite YouTube channels for the pop culture fan in all of us.
1. WatchMojo – In case you can’t tell, I like lists. WatchMojo is my go-to for list videos because they release videos every day with lists ranging from the obvious (Top 10 Drama Series) to the more obscure (Top 10 Trialers That Ruined the Movie). Their dry commentary only makes me love this channel more.
2. How It Should Have Ended – You have probably seen some of these floating around the internet, but you really need to dive into this channel. The name of the channel is very informative as most of their videos are animated shorts of how movies should end if logic was a factor. In addition to these hilarious shorts, I am loving their Super Cafe series where Superman and Batman gab about their day at their local diner.
3. Screen Junkies – The most obvious thing to love on this channel is Honest Trailers. I’m not even going bother explaining those because you have all seen them and they are awesome. But I am also a fan of The Screen Junkies Show which takes an amusing look at a variety of pop culture topics like “How to Fix Transformers” and the “Best 90’s Movies.
4. Cinefix – This channel has a number of regular series, but my favorites would have to be the Homemade Movies and 8-Bit Cinema. They were also behind the “Kids Reenact 2014 Oscar Nominees” video that you may have seen floating around during Oscar season.
5. Bad Lip Reading – Do I even have to give these an into? Nope? Good.
6. Cinematic Sins – Similar to Honest Trailers in that they rip apart your favorite movies, but their rapid fire delivery of naming everything wrong in less than 3-10 minutes (depending on how sinfult the movie is) points out some errors that are much more specific.
7. The Hillywood Show – Perhaps a little more loving than some of my previous picks, The Hillywood Show parodies still pack a lot of bite. They have great production quality and perfectly skewer the movies like Twilight, Warm Bodies, The Hobbit, and Harry Potter.
8. Union Pool – This channel has a few running series, but Tvoovies is definitely why I subscribe. Have you ever wondered what would happen if Harry Potter were an episode of Law & Order? Or if Leslie Knope were Deputy Parks Director at Jurassic Park? Or if Michael Bluth was the one man who has “no choice but to quell the outlying districts” in the Hunger Games? These animated mash-ups have the amusing answers.
9. Nerdist – Honestly, it is the podcast that got me to subscribe, but the YouTube channel also puts out some great content like All Star Celebrity Bowling, DIY Projects, Neil Patrick Harris’ Puppet Dreams (it is just as trippy as it sounds), and a lot of other nerdy goodness.
10. What the Flick?! – Pretty straight forward film reviews and TV recaps, but this one gets my pick because they are smart reviews that are usually on point with what I think and they don’t feel the need to yell at me like a lot of other film review sites.
There you have it? What are your favorite YouTube channels, pop culture related or not? Or your favorite vids?
– Ellen
Run-On Sentence Reviews: The Amazing Spider-Man 2
I should start off by saying that in general I am a pretty easy to please moviegoer and will enjoy just about any movie that I go see and while I can recognize that this new Spider-Man has its flaws it was a fun movie and a great way to kick off the summer movie season because it is a brightly colored, action packed, quippy comic book treat with great chemistry between Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone which should not come as surprise but my big beef with most Marvel movies has always been completely unbelievable romantic couples so I appreciate a couple that actually makes sense as opposed to two people getting together because they are both beautiful and why not but the movie’s main problems come from having too much story in one movie because it should have had at least one less villain and they should have given Jamie Foxx as Electro more to do and while I think Dane DeHaan was great as Harry Osborn I did not think it was necessary to include Green Goblin.
Verdict: While it has problems, overall, it was a fun summer popcorn flick if you go in only expecting that.
– Ellen
Fangirly Crush of the Week: Andrew Garfield
How did I pick this one you ask? Oh, just that he is in a little movie that is coming out this weekend that happens to mark the beginning of the summer movie season which is only my favorite time of year! Oh, and he is adorable.
Yes, this fangirl is (hesitantly) excited to see Spider-Man this weekend and Andrew Garfield plays a big part in that. He’s just so gosh-darned cute and him and Emma Stone are just so gosh-darned cute together. I feel like if someone is British their “charm factor” goes up exponentially. I mean, just watch the video below and try to not fall into deep smit. I dare you.
– Ellen
Totally Rad Pop Culture Items from My Childhood That I Wish I Still Had
Life is full of regrets, everyone knows that. The following are my life’s biggest.
1) Babysitters Club T-Shirt – This was so rare and awesome that even the internet couldn’t help me find it again. Back in 1994, little Ellen loved her Scholastic book order catalogs. Many of them featured a special offer at the back where you could join the Baby-Sitters Club Fan Club. So exclusive. So VIP. I begged my mom for months and finally, she caved. Among the membership benefits was the coolest t-shirt you have ever seen. It was bright and colorful with hip phrases like “Best Friends Forever” and “Mary-Ann + Logan”, but worst of all, it was big enough on me back then that I could still totally rock it to this day. Sigh. This one hurts the most.
2) DTV Romancin’ VHS Recording – Back in the late 80s to early 90s, Disney Channel tried to cash in on the MTV cash cow and make music videos to popular songs using clips from their cartoons. These music videos would often appear between their cartoons and sometimes they would air specials. My favorite of these specials was DTV Romancin’ (also aired as DTV Valentines). It had Chip and Dale dancing to Madonna, the cast of Bambi wooing to Lionel Richie’s “Hello”, and just about every clip of a phone from a Disney cartoon played with “I Just Called to Say I Love You”. Needless to say, I wore this VHS out.
3) 90210 Blow Dryer – I was far too young to care about this 90210 blow dryer, but I felt like the coolest 1st grader on the black when I would (attempt to) blow dry my hair with this beauty. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t a very good blow dryer, it only mattered that it was aqua green and purple and was emblazoned with that zip code. In my head, it was the blow dryer that Kelly, Brenda, and Donna used.
4) Full House Michelle Scrapbook – Have you ever wanted to look at pictures of episodes of Full House? Then have I got the book for you! This book has it all. Michelle gives all the dirt, like how Uncle Joey is so silly! And how Uncle Jesse is so cool! Did you know that DJ loves Steve? Or that Stephanie thinks you are so “rude”? (Mainly I wish I still had this one so that I could marvel at how obsessed I was with this stupid book).
5) Handheld Beauty and the Beast Game – I blame this game for making me so easily addicted to games on my iPhone. I was never great at your Nintendos and your Playstations, but even I could handle three buttons. Dodge left, dodge right, and of course, “MAGIC”! The premise was pretty basic, because those three buttons won’t allow for much. At first you hide from the beast, but then you kiss him and then you hide from Gaston so that you can get to the beast and kiss him and finally, you escape the mob led by Gaston so that you can get to the beast and kiss him so that he becomes the “handsome” prince. It’s a wonder that I ended up with even a shred of feminist sensibilities.
6) Spice Girls Pin – When I was in fifth grade, one of my friends got this set of five pins that spelled out SPICE. We divvied up the pins, each girl getting the pin with the Spice Girl that they most embodied. See that “P” with Ginger? That was all mine. Somehow, as a 10 year old, I was Ginger Spice. Probably because I had the closest thing resembling red hair, was terrible at sports, and hated Posh.
7) Little Mermaid Sheets – At the age of 3, I was so hard core about The Little Mermaid that it was a bit ridiculous. I had the entire soundtrack memorized before I had seen the movie. When I finally DID see the movie, I stood on my seat and sang along with the whole thing. I mainly wish that I still had these sheets because I still have a twin bed and would SO sleep on these bad boys.
8) 101 Dalmatians Giga Pet – I was very explicit with Santa. I am a Giga Pet girl and NOT a Tamagotchi girl. Also, don’t even think about getting me a cat. Apparently, this led Santa to a 101 Dalmatians Giga Pet because it was the same Christmas that the live action movie came out, and I was more than happy to receive my little demanding dalmatian.
9) Minnie paraphernalia – This girl had a lot of Minnie Mouse paraphernalia. It is unclear as to whether this was due to an obsession on my part or on my mother’s part, who was buying all of it. Either way, I loved Minnie Mouse and demanded to see her almost immediately upon my first arrival at Disneyland. The item I most wish I still had that I cannot find is this tubular neon school folder, but I am pretty sure I wore it to tatters.
10) Disney Afternoon soundtrack tape – I loved Disney afternoon, but what kid in the early 90s with Disney Channel didn’t? And almost more than the cartoons themselves, I loved the theme songs, mainly because of this cassette tape. I may or may not have most of these downloaded to my iTunes. And I may or may not bust them out on a regular basis. And I may or may not be able to still do the breakdown on the Tale Spin theme song. “Spin it, let’s begin it, bear and grin it when you’re in it, you can win it in a minute when you spin it, spin it, spin it. So spin it. Tale Spin!”
What item from your childhood are you most upset that your mom talked you into throwing out?
– Ellen
Getting to Know You: The NEW (and Old) Cast of Star Wars
Photo: David James/Lucasfilm
Well, after months of speculation and rumors, the cast of the new Star Wars film has officially been announced. And with a pic of the table read to boot! The cast is made up of some of your old favorites, some quasi-familiar faces, and some practically brand new faces. So let’s dive in!
Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker.
What you know them from: One of them you know from a whole slew of things and the others… you know from only Star Wars for the most part (with a shout out to Carrie Fisher’s appearances in Blues Brothers and 30 Rock).
My guesses as to who they will be playing: The only roles that are not up in the air at this point, Ford, Fisher, and Hamill will be reprising their roles as (much older versions of) Han Solo, Princess Leia, and Luke Skywalker. Anthony Daniels will again be donning the C-3PO suit. And power to him for still being able to fit into that thing. Peter Mayhew will be playing everyone’s favorite fuzzball, Chewbacca, and Kenny Baker will again be manning R2-D2.
My thoughts: It is interesting that so many of the original cast is back here. Disney and Co. obviously know that it is important to tread lightly here and are trying to make the transition as fluid as possible for the fans. I anticipate that not everyone is going to make it out of Episode VII alive (RIP Han?), but maybe we can keep the driods?
John Boyega
What you might know him from: The Brit can be seen in the little known, but really good alien invasion flick Attack the Block, the upcoming 24: Live Another Day, and Sundance film Imperial Dreams. So really not a whole lot.
My guesses as to who he will be playing: He is listed first on a list that is not in alphabetical order. Does this mean that he will be the hero of our story? My money is on yes. Perhaps Skywalker’s protege before he goes off to be that great Jedi in the sky?
My thoughts: I like to unknowns get big breaks in BIG movies, so I like it. Also, if he is the lead, it is nice to see a man of color as the lead of what will surely be the biggest release of the year. Even if he is the only diversity in the cast. What do you expect? It’s still Hollywood.
Daisy Ridley
What you might know her from: Probably nothing. But her IMDb credits include an episode of Mr. Selfridge and other UK TV shows that haven’t made it across the pond including, Youngers, Toast of London, and Silent Witness
My guesses as to who she will be playing: Very much like the old Star Wars, this new cast only has one lone female. So it is a safe bet that Ridley will be playing the butt-kicking female love interest, but maybe they will throw us through a loop and she will be the villain? No, she’ll be the butt-kicking female love interest who maybe turns up in a gold bikini? No, we’ll mix it up and make it silver this time.
My thoughts: I can’t have too many as I have never seen her in anything, but another unknown as a supposed lead! Cool! And another Brit! Maybe there is a new planet called Anglophinia or something.
Adam Driver
What you know him from: Adam on my favorite Girls (not!), Inside Llewyn Davis, Frances Ha, and Lincoln
My guesses as to who he will be playing: Maybe this is just my antipathy for Girls coming through, but my money is on him playing a villain. He is just so despicable on that show that I can’t see casting being creative enough to cast him otherwise.
My thoughts: When this guy is one of the more well-known people in a cast, that is saying something. I am fairly impressed with this Star Wars for thinking outside the box in terms of casting, but then I suppose you have that kind of freedom when you are freaking Star Wars movie.
Oscar Isaac
What you know them from: The titular lead in the Coen brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis, Carey Mulligan’s husband in Drive, and Prince John in the 2010 Robin Hood.
My guesses as to who he will be playing: This one is probably the hardest to predict. A Han Solo like character? Bad guy? Good guy? It’s too hard to tell and seeing as how the creators are giving us very little to work with in regards to what the story will be, it’s too early to call.
My thoughts: Sure. Looking at his IMDb, I respect his choices and he seems due for a blockbuster.
Andy Serkis
What you know them from: You may not know HIM from a whole lot, but you know his work as he has become the go-to guy for CGI motion capture characters. Gollum in Lord of the Rings, Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and King Kong in Peter Jackson’s version, to name a few.
My guesses as to who he will be playing: Is there even the slightest chance that he will be playing a flesh and blood character? No. Maybe a small side character in addition to a CGI character or whole slew of CGI characters.
My thoughts: Duh. It seems like a given these days that if you have a movie that will rely upon performance capture, you call Serkis.
Domhnall Gleeson
What you know them from: Aww, you guys. About Time (!), Bill Weasley in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 & 2 (!), and starring alongside Michael Fassbender (!) in this summer’s indie darling Frank. Also, he is the son of Brendan Gleeson, probably best known to Fangirly readers as Mad Eye Moody. Whoa, I just imagined a contrived fanfic where Mad Eye and Molly Weasley had a torrid affair that resulted in a love child.
My guesses as to who he will be playing: It is hard to imagine him as anything but some sort of charming, aw-shucksy type because I love him in About Time so much. Also, he is just too ginger to be a villain. Right? That’s a thing, right?
My thoughts: This takes our Brit count to 4! And I am so on board with this one. Definitely the name that I was most excited to see listed.
Max von Sydow
What you know them from: If you are a member of my family, Strange Brew. For everyone else, The Exorcist, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Minority Report, Shutter Island, Flash Gordon, and that same Robin Hood with Oscar Isaac.
My guesses as to who he will be playing: The second most difficult to call, but it is going one of two ways. He is going to either be a wise, prophetic type a la Obi-Wan Kenobi or a dark, menacing, hooded type a la Palpatine
My thoughts: Yeah, okay. They had to have one revered actor type on the list and it is nice to see one who is still a lesser known choice on that “revered actor” list.
Overall, I’m pleased and will be excited to see how all the characters shake out. What do you all think? Are you more or less concerned about this new Star Wars movie?
–Ellen
Grade A, Choice Picks: Top Episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000
It is the 25th anniversary of the show that is basically the essence of my childhood, Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you aren’t familiar with this show, I feel very sorry for you. The basic premise of the show, a man sequestered in space who is forced to watch terrible movies with his robot pals by his mad overlords is unimportant. All you need to know is that they watch terrible movies and make fun of them the whole time. It is weird, quirky, and brilliant and narrowing it down to just five was a challenge, but the research was ever so fun.
5) #910 The Final Sacrifice The basic premise is that some whiny teenage kid finds a map left by his dead father and he gets mixed up with a devil-worshiping cult (side note: apparently a lot of terrible movies center around cults). The movie really gets good (?) when the kid gets help from the stereotypical Canadian guy named Rowsdower, a name which the guys can’t seem to get over. This film lends itself to a lot of major Canada bashing. Best Riff: “Canadian Villain: Garth Vader.”
4) #421 Monster A Go-Go Johnny Long Torso, the action figure who comes in pieces, has long been my favorite invention exchange, then you add the “Circus on Ice” short, Gypsy questioning Crow about how she doesn’t “get” him (“Is it that I often panic while making sandwiches?) AND the movie is pretty awesomely bad, too. It is about as bad as you would expect from a 1965 movie about a missing astronaut who has been exposed to radiation Best Riff: “There is one terrifying word in the world of nuclear physics.” “Oops.”
3) #820 Space Mutiny This 1988 movie focuses on, you guessed it, a mutiny in space, but the guys can’t seem to get over the “young” love interest who looks more like a member of AARP, the space commander who resembles a jolly old elf, and the main hero who was obviously not hired for his acting skills. This is so apparent that the guys have no choice but to spend the movie coming up with names for him such as Punch RockGroin, Gristle McThornbody, Brick Meathouse. or Jack Landhammer. Best Riff: “Big McLarge Huge”
2) #321 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians The title pretty much sums it up. Emotionless Martians kidnap Santa to bring joy to their children. Enter a pipe wielding Santa, a bumbling fool of a martian, a coffee can robot, a spaceship that looks like a Simon game, and a truly terrifying man in a polar bear “custume”. This episode has my favorite Satellite of Love scenes between Crow’s Christmas wish to decide “who lives and who dies” and their obsession with having a Roadhouse inspired “Patrick Swayze Christmas“. Best Riff: “Crush him!” “You were adopted!”
1) #424 Manos: The Hands of Fate Generally considered to be the worst movie ever made, this movie produced by a fertilizer salesman in El Paso, Texas focuses on a family setting off on a vacation when they get mixed up with a “Manos”-centric cult. Who or what Manos is never really clear, but if you ever wanted to see a movie with a man in a robe with large hand prints, women wrestling in Playtex bras, or a man with watermelons for knees then this is the flick for you. As Joel says, “Every frame of this movie looks like someone’s last known photograph”. The “Hired” short at the beginning is only the cherry on top of this terrible, gouge your eyes out sundae. Even Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank apologize for this one. Best Riff: “Been hittin’ the Thighmaster, Torgo?”
MST3K fans, did I miss your favorite? Newbies, did I convince you to watch?
– Ellen
Somebody Convince Me: Mad Men Edition
Welcome to “Somebody Convince Me”, our new feature where we turn it over to you, the readers. Speaking for myself, I have a lot weird pop culture hang-ups. Shows, movies, or musical artists that I refuse to participate in for whatever reason. With this new feature, we are going to let you convince us that we are wrong. Up first on the docket: Mad Men.
I have had so many people try to tell me that I would love this show and then there is all of those awards and critical accolades. All that set aside, Jon Hamm in a 60’s era suit should be enough to sway me, but I have never been able to convince myself to dive into this one.
I should mention that I watched the pilot and the second episode, but decided that the characters all seemed too despicable and their problems too dramatic for me to see myself getting invested.
Convince me that I am wrong! Or are my concerns valid and I should just count this as a pop culture blind spot?
– Ellen
Fangirly Crush of the Week: John Mulaney
Whitney’s well-deserving choice of Colin Jost for crush made me realize that I have yet to elect my favorite crushiest SNL writer, John Mulaney. If you have yet to do so, you need to go to Netflix and watch his stand up special New In Town. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry… from laughing, but more importantly, you’ll understand why he is my choice for crush of the week. His smart, pop culture-infused humor and tall child, high-waisted good looks are a definite win in this girl’s book. And if you love Law & Order based humor, Mulaney is your guy.
Watch his stand up special now because his new show Mulaney got a six episode order from Fox and this way you will be able to say that you knew him before he got big.
– Ellen
Grade A, Choice Picks: Ellen’s Most Anticipated Movies of Summer 2014
Summer, the time for fun in the sun, but more importantly, air conditioned multiplexes. You can take your beaches and BBQs, I’m all for sequestering myself into dark rooms with strangers and a tub of popcorn. Let’s dive into my top picks for movies to see this summer!
10. Jersey Boys (June 20) I’m a sucker for a good ol’ song and dance routine, especially when it is of the malt-shoppe-doo-woppy variety. A musical helmed by Clint Eastwood with virtual unknowns has me especially intrigued.
9. Edge of Tomorrow (June 6) This one has had me swayed since I saw the first footage at Comic Con. It looks like a gritty, sci-fi, Groundhog’s Day and I can get on board with that.
8. Let’s Be Cops (August 13) Movie, you had me at starring Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr. Also, this is coming out on my birthday. Happy birthday to me, indeed.
7. Magic in the Moonlight (July 25) Yes, yes, Woody Allen is a bit taboo right now, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he makes good movies (most of the time) and that this one stars Emma Stone and Colin Firth. As an Austenphile, I am contractually obligated to always believe in Colin Firth.
6. The Giver (August 15) File this under “Ellen’s Most Cautiously Anticipated Movies of Summer 2014”. As someone who loves young adult literature, I am, of course, familiar with the source material here. The trailer gives me much to worry over in regards to the fidelity, but I can also respect a good adaptation, no matter how unfaithful. The power of Meryl is helping to bolster me.
5. 22 Jump Street (June 13) I am sucker for stupid comedies and the previous 21 Jump Street had me hook, line, and sinker. It was also what convinced me to join the Channing band wagon, because he was funny and that is all it takes with me.
4. Godzilla (May 16) With all due respect to Mr. Jessica Parker, I am excited to see what looks like will be an actually good Godzilla movie. I also sat in on the Comic Con panel for this one and they talked a lot about how it is less a Godzilla movie and more a character study of people dealing with a Godzilla attack. Color me excited.
3. X-Men: Days of Future Past (May 23) The latest trailer has me even more excited for May 23rd. I love me a good X-Men movie and, Fassbender bonus points aside, this looks like it is going to be good ‘un. The star power alone should be enough to make it amazeballs.
2. The Fault in Our Stars (June 6) Okay? Okay. This is another adaptation that has me worried, because I am not sure how all of John Green’s amazing book is going to translate to screen, but I am more excited than anything. Why I am excited to get my cry on, I don’t know, but I am guaranteed a good one.
1. Guardians of the Galaxy (August 1) I am taking a leap of faith here, because this could be terrible or too “weird” to find an audience. But no. I have faith. Faith in Marvel and the power of Chris Pratt’s abs, a power that cannot be denied. Also, hello? Karen Gillan, Lee Pace, John C. Reilly, and Bradley Cooper as a machine gun toting raccoon? More than anything, it will be fun to see Marvel work outside of the Avengers. Don’t make me regret putting you at number one, Marvel.
What has you pumped/nervous? Let us know in the comments!
– Ellen
