Author Archives: Ellen Lloyd

Lighten Up, DC Comics

Posted in Fan-Rants, Movies by

why-so-serious-the-joker-3122768-1024-768Today DC Comics announced their plans for 10 upcoming movies including The Flash, Aquaman, a stand alone Wonder Woman, Shazam, and 2 Justice League movies.  While this news does excite me, it fills me with some degree of trepidation, as well.  I need to make it clear that I will always welcome more superhero movies because I am a sucker for superhero movies.  However, Warner Brothers’ recent mandate that this upcoming slate of movies will have no humor really does not work for me.

I think I understand why they are doing this.  The Dark Knight Batman movies are far and away DC Comics’ most successful and at least ranking as such for Warner Brothers and those movies are assuredly not the most gut-busting.  At least not in the laughing way.  Removing the humor is also a pretty good way to set themselves apart from Marvel.

It’s pretty clear that DC Comics wants to follow in Marvel’s success and create their own “cinematic universe”, but this really doesn’t seem like the way to do it.  At this point, Marvel is guaranteed success because we know their films are going to be an entertaining, enjoyable, good time at the movies. “Enjoyable” being the key word.  People were wary of the unknown Guardians of the Galaxy but once word got out that it was funny, it became the biggest movie of the year so far.

I had multiple issues with Man of Steel, but perhaps my biggest was that Superman needed to lighten up or at least people needed to make jokes at his expense, otherwise he is just an indestructible pretty boy and who likes those?  Then when you throw characters like Aquaman in the mix, I don’t know how seriously I am going to be able to take it.  Even if he is played by the oh-so-imposing Jason Mimoa.  None of comic book source material is without at least some form of levity, especially The Flash and Wonder Woman, and I have to imagine that the humor of those series has aided in their success.  DC Comics has also done pretty well with their TV series and again, I think a lot of that has to do with the shows being fun to watch.  Even the gloomy Gotham has some laughs.

All that being said, DC, I will still see your movies, I just wish you made it easier for me to look forward to it.

– Ellen

Never Judge a Comedy by Its Pilot

Posted in TV by

selfieConfession:  I enjoyed last night’s episode of Selfie.

Last week, Whitney wrote a completely on point review of the pilot and all of her points were valid and true… about the pilot.  Even I killed it in my Marry Boff Kill of Fall TV, but it would seem that the show may improve on closer acquaintance.   In the show’s second episode, John Cho’s Henry showed some manic qualities, which are crucial in a TV comedy, and American Amy Pond… I mean, Karen Gillan’s Eliza was a better blend of self-absorbed and self-conscious.  Henry’s ineptness at Facebook tags had me guffawing, Eliza’s book club persona had me giggling (“Sorry, if I smell like dead people”), and their romantic chemistry is headed in the right direction.  There is nothing that is more likely to sway me than good romantic chemistry.  I am not ready to join the Selfie bandwagon, if such a thing exists, but I am ready to say that I may have judged too soon.

This would not be the first time I have judged a show too quickly, especially when it comes to the comedies.  I gave up on both The Mindy Project and Happy Endings after a few episodes and both have ended up being two of my favorites (though one causes me a lot more guilt than the other).

The fact of the matter is that, more so than dramas, a good comedy is all about chemistry among the cast and that is just going to take some time.  I say the following in generalities, but dramas you can judge by its pilot. Dramas are more about engaging story where the comedies are more about the laughs.  If a drama pilot is not able to establish a plot that at least intrigues with that first episode, chances are that they won’t do much better with their subsequent episodes.

Did anyone else give Selfie a second look?  What comedies did you give up on too early?  Is my theory about dramas completely off base?

– Ellen

About Last Night: Mulaney

Posted in About Last Night, The Reviews are In, TV by

mulaneyThere are events in life that will never live up to our expectations or hopes for them.  The premiere of Mulaney last night was just such an event for me.

I have listened/watched to John Mulaney’s stand-up an alarming number of times, to the point where some of his bits are deeply ingrained into my daily lexicon. (And seriously, if you have not watched his New in Town special on Netflix yet, you need to re-evaluate your life.)  I was trying to remain optimistic about the premiere of his new show, a multi-cam sitcom loosely based on his own life.  Also, it has a (shudder) laugh track.  But I love his stand-up!  I know he’s funny!  I crush on him!  What could go wrong?  As it turns out, a great deal.

mulaney-ep101_pilot-sce_00568_hires1It’s not that the show didn’t deliver some laughs, but all the laughs came from material with which I am very familiar.  It was beyond bizarre to see one of his best bits, a story about going to the doctor for Xanax with unforeseen consequences, being acted out.  The truth of the matter is that Mulaney may not be the best actor, bless him.  He was a bit too stiff and didn’t have that lovable dork swag that he has when he has the microphone stand in front of him.  But then, Jerry Seinfeld was never a great actor either and Mulaney is obviously trying to take a page (if not a whole chapter) from his book, almost to it’s detriment if you ask me.  The comparison may hurt in getting viewers as people will just write it off as a copy but then it may help retain viewers who remember that Seinfeld opened to not so great reviews.

On top of that, no one felt completely comfortable in their roles and the episode was grossly disjointed as they tried to fit include too many character introductions and too many of his popular bits that all had nothing to do with each other.

All that being said, I am a TV comedy pro and I know that every sitcom needs a solid six episodes to really get into it’s groove.  Also, early reports about the upcoming episodes are that the show gets better.  This show was stuck in development limbo for a while and any show is going to suffer from that, so once again, I am going to remain hopefully optimistic and just hope that my heart doesn’t get broken because it did crack a little last night.

(ASIDE: Mulaney fans, was that Ice-T doing the announcing at the beginning of the episode.  Please tell me that was Ice-T.)

-Ellen

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Iain De Caestecker

Posted in Crush of the Week, TV by

fitzWith the onslaught of Fall TV comes the return of old crushes and introduction of new faves.  The competition this week was pretty stiff, but considering I just binged Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Iain De Caestecker AKA Fitz of the show’s FitzSimmons took the edge.

Even further solidifying his spot in my heart this week (SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW, if you care) is the gut-wrenching, take-my-heart-and-stomp-on-it turn that his character has taken this season.  In last season’s finale, he admitted his true feelings to Simmons and made the grandest of bold gestures and sacrificed his life to give her a chance of saving her own.  We left the season with the status of his health as unknown.  When the show came back this season, Fitz was still there working in the lab with Simmons but it was apparent that he had suffered some serious brain damage as he struggled to find words and to form ideas.  The final blow was when we found out Simmons had left the team months ago and Fitz has only been imagining her as a way to cope.  THE FEELS, right?!

(END OF SPOILERS) On top of all that, Fitz is just an adorable, nerdy, puppy dog of a man in his cardigans and plaid shirts.  What’s not to love? fitz

We have crushed on guys far less deserving.  Some may say that Ward is the more crushable option on the show, but they obviously wouldn’t know me very well.

– Ellen

In with the Old: The Mighty Ducks

Posted in In with the Old, Movies, Nostalgia, Sweet Streams by

Recently, I found myself with some time on my hands and saw that all three of the Mighty Ducks films were on Netflix and thought, “Eh, why not?” I am an adult, therefore, giving me the ability to choose to spend my day watching stupid kids movies. I had a lot of thoughts while watching and thought I would share them with all of you.

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Pretty sure that this movie gave me a misconception about the 1970’s. I thought they were a very hazy time… Actually, maybe it wasn’t too much of a misconception.

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Sometimes I think that Disney is a little too heavy-handed in pointing out that someone is a bad boy. Beer! Loud music! Sassing cops!

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Am I too logical in thinking that this prank wouldn’t work on someone driving by? A passerby, sure, but someone driving by is going to come to a screeching halt to stop in the middle of the street and steal a purse? Maybe I’ve seen too many Russian traffic cams of truckers saving kittens.

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I’m glad that at least the closed captioning gave credit where credit was due. Also, I posit that a kids sports movie cannot exist without the snarky trash talker (see also: Ham from The Sandlot, Tanner Boyle from The Bad News Bears, etc.)

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Seriously, inquiring minds would like to know, is that a phone?

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FART JOKE!

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Gordon Bombay. Possibly the best name in film history. Also, the best shoulder pads in the biz.

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Bombay, you know how movies work, right? Of course, it had to be the Hawks.

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Pretty sure that my brother and I were incapable of going to hockey games between the years of 1993-present (?) without saying this.

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Ah, the good old days when teenage boys had to make do with issues of Sports Illustrated.

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You know it’s a 90’s movie when the menacing gang is on roller blades.

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Hans is the Yoda of this movie. So wise. So sage.

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Little baby Joshua Jackson!

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Oh, movie, I don’t need you to tell me when Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch is playing.

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Do I need to call Social Services on this 22 year old movie?

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Again, this movie is really delivering on the 90’s awesomeness. Roller blading through the mall?!

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The movie the made quacking a haunting battle cry to all 90’s kids.

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It’s so convenient that the entire team is in this one Chemistry class, despite the fact that some of them look like they are 5 years apart in age.

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Gordon, stop quacking!

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Don’t we all, Banks. Let the rich kid play, Ducks! The cake-eater has two more movies to do.

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This has to be either the weakest net ever or this puck just defied the laws of physics, right?

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What publication is this that has front page headlines about a Minnesota Pee-Wee hockey team?

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Haha hijinks. Even as a kid, I thought Emilio laughed weird.

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Yeah, go for it, Bombay. She will never be able to resist you in that Cosby sweater. What woman could?

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Does Disney have a contractual stipulation that there must be a contrived romance that nobody watching the movie will really care about and that won’t last into the sequel?

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Again, what is this “Hockey Publication” and where did they get these pictures of these pee-wee hockey coaches? I would really like to see a Newsroom like TV show about this paper.

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What kind of douchebag father isn’t going to root for his son’s team? I don’t care how rich your friends are.

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Aw, Banks. You took the stick out of your butt. Presh. See you in MD2!

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Um, Bombay, you need to win. Haven’t you seen a Disney sports movie?

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You just know that they were so stoked on this shot. “Aw man, this is going to look so cool.”

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I cannot believe this worked. I’m supposed to believe that these kids who are growing up on the ice have never seen someone do a scratch spin?

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Flying V! Ducks fly together!

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Bombay, you are not helping the “Coach’s Pet” taunts that he has been getting. Also, what exactly has Charlie done to elicit this confidence? Other than let you bone his mom.

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QUACK, QUACK, QUACK! Now THAT’S how you end a Disney sports movie.md35 Wah-wah, Hawks. It’s because you didn’t have a humorous yet cool chant and, most importantly, because you weren’t having fun out there.md36 Hold the phone. Bombay is leaving his lucrative law career to possibly be a minor league hockey player? At his age?

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It must really suck for Charlie that he is the only one of these kids with a present parent. She really cramps his style.

Who wants to go watch this movie on Netflix now?  Sorry if I spoiled it for you.

– Ellen

Get with the Program: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

Posted in Get with the Program, TV by

agents-of-shield-season-2Like a lot of you, I was super excited for Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D because I felt, much like that SNL skit this weekend, that Marvel could do no wrong.  And then like a lot of you, I watched the the first few episodes of the show and wrote it off.  The adorableness or FitzSimmons aside, it wasn’t doing much to keep me invested, but then like a lot of shows, I heard that it got better about halfway through the first season.  As a TV fan, I should have known that it would have, so I gave it another try.

Now that I have caught up, I am ashamed.  I should have had more faith in both Marvel and the wide, wild, world of Whedon because this shiz went bananas. Like, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

I really don’t want to spoil too much, as this is a post trying to convince you to start watching the show, but I am going to vaguely lay out reasons you should play catch up with this one.

1) Watch if you love the Marvel Cinematic Universe – Again, no spoilers, but the show has set itself up as a pretty fascinating companion piece to all of your favorite Marvel films and seeing as how Marvel seems to be the blockbuster juggernaut that cannot be stopped, I don’t see it running out of material anytime soon.

2)  Watch if you love Whedon – Yes, Joss has a minimal executive producer presence, but his longtime collaboraters and family members, Jed Whedon and Maurissa Tancharoen (they’re married, aww) are the showrunners and all the writers pretty much nail Joss’ tone on the head.  You know the tone I’m talking about?  That mix of cheeky, funny, action-packed, and heartbreaking?  That’s the one.

3) Watch if you love love – Maybe you will like SkyeWard or FitzSimmons or Fitzskye or May and Coulson or MayWard or all of them.  S.H.I.E.L.D has you covered on the sexual tension front and if you like the same couple as me, your heart will be broken when you get to the premiere of season 2.

Are you watching S.H.I.E.L.D.?  Let’s chat because I am deep in it now.

– Ellen

About Last Night: The Most Perfect Big Brother Finale

Posted in About Last Night by

I know that not many of you will care, but last night my summer obsession Big Brother ended in the most perfect way with mastermind Derrick taking home the title of Big Brother champ, $575 grand, and the distinction of being one of the show’s greatest players ever.  His game was the perfect blend of calculated, underhanded, subdued, and genius.  It may not have always made for the exciting TV but it made for some pretty dang fascinating TV.  It is gameplay like Derrick’s that gave me no choice but to respect the heck out Big Brother.  Yes.  I just said that.  It’s just so good, you guys.

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In other news that brought me irrevocable joy: Frankie Grande did not win the title of America’s Favorite Player, a title which he instructed his sister, Ariana Grande, to tweet about to her fans and have vote for him.  Frankie’s self-aggrandizement and utter disingenuous nature throughout the season drove me crackers, so this face right here when they announced that he was not even in the top three made it all worth it.

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I really could go on and on about my love for this show and Derrick’s game, but I have already talked the ear off all my friends who like the show.

Big Brother, I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go.  As long as you go with a finale like that.

And Cody, I will miss looking at Cody.

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– Ellen

Marry Boff Kill: New Fall 2014 TV Shows

Posted in MBK, TV by

You may not have noticed, but we love TV here at Fangirly.  Like, love love.  So much so that I attachments I form to my shows are lasting and real.  I thought I might try and predict which shows I want to spend my life with/have a one-night stand with/give the axe.

Marry:

gothamGotham – As Whitney so perfectly summed up yesterday, this show has some things working against, but from where I sit, it is one of the most promising of this new crop of shows.  I’m a little hesitant to tie myself to a show that is almost exclusively comprised of villains as that may get trying, but i have faith in the human decency of Baby Commissioner Gordon.

marry meMarry Me – Do you know what else I have faith in?  The creative team behind Happy Endings.  Comedies always take a bit longer to find their groove, so even if I am not sold on this one within the first few episodes, I am going to stick with it.  I initially gave up on Happy Endings after the first couple of episodes.  It makes me weep to think about how I was part of the problem.  I will not do the same thing to this show.  If only for the possibility that someday the whole cast of Happy Endings will guest star as Wilson’s old college friends or something.  Have I mentioned that I love Happy Endings?

the flashThe Flash – Those smarty-pants at DC Comics and The CW know how to guarantee an audience for a new show.  Just air a back door pilot during a show that already has a rabid fan base and then guarantee crossover episodes for years to come so that said fan base has no choice but to also watch the new show.  I also saw this pilot at Comic Con and it promises to be a fun, poppy, comic book romp.

Boff:

janethevirgin_pilot_1_1200_article_story_largeJane the Virigin – I am not just picking this because it is humorous to boff the “virgin show”. Back when the promo for this show came out, it would have gotten a kill, but early buzz is pretty good with great reviews for star Gina Rodriguez and it is not too hard to convince me to watch a sweet CW show.

Mulaney – Please be good, Mulaney, please be good.  There is a lot riding on this one for me.  If it is good, I will get a weekly dose of John Mulaney’s patented blend of dorky, pop culture infused stand up.  If it is bad, I will cry.  The multi-cam format with a laugh track has me worried but I am trying to be optimistic.

gracepointGracepoint – I haven’t yet gotten around to watching the UK source material, Broadchurch, but I feel like that may work in my favor for this US version.  Bonus boffability points for David Tennant with an American accent. I’m weirdly into it.

Kill:

selfieSelfie –  There is so much here that I want to like.  I mean, Karen Gillan in a My Fair Lady retelling?  What’s not to like? I don’t know but this looks kind of stupid.

Scorpion – CBS hammered the final nail in this show’s coffin when it obnoxiously self-promoted on my beloved Big Brother.  Stay out of my trashy television!

Cristela – This show seems to be cashing in on the ethnically-diverse-female-who-pokes-fun-at-her-weight card that Mindy is already working.

 

– Ellen

 

About Last (Saturday) Night: Outlander Gif Reactions

Posted in About Last Night, The Reviews are In, TV by

This was originally posted to my Tumblr, but I spent too long on it not to recycle.  That and it makes me laugh.  (Not all gifs are mine. sorry…)

Frank…

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Jamie just being his adorable self and trying to preserve her honor

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Their getting to know each other was sweet and all, but I was a bit distracted.

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“To bed or to sleep?”

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The undressing

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That first kiss?

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“I was a virgin, not a monk.”

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Jamie’s post-coital glow

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When Jamie and Claire go downstairs to get food

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When Claire kept rejecting Jamie’s adorable advances

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The wedding ceremony

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“I want to look at you”

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Me trying to keep it cool during all the sexy times by hiding behind a pillow…

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…but failing

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“Does it happen every time?”

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“Does that hurt?” (AKA Jamie’s O face)

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Dougal

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Probably Dougal from now on whenever he sees Claire and Jamie

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The scene with the pearls

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By the end of the episode

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When I remember that I am not Claire

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When my roommate walks in on the fourth viewing

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Fangirly Crush of the Week: Santiago Cabrera

Posted in Crush of the Week by

AramisI used to receive texts from my mom that were along the lines of “Have you watched The Musketeers yet?  The boys are so cute!  You would love it!”  What can I say?  She gets me.

She was right, too.  Cute guys abound, but after hours of research, I have determined that Aramis played by Santiago Cabrera is my favorite. His mix of cocky lothario and honorable gentleman sets me swooning.  Judging from how the first season ended, the sexy smolders should continue, if not intensify.  Yes, please.

The show is pretty good, too.

– Ellen

What to Watch and When to Watch It

Posted in TV by

It should be pretty evident that I am a huge TV nerd, so much so that it should not come as a shock that I make an Excel spreadsheet before every Fall TV season.  In case you want to know what I am watching or in case you want to know what you should be watching, I am sharing my nerdy spreadsheet.

A few notes:

– Blue is for shows that have a guaranteed season pass, red is for either new or older shows that I am going to give a shot, purple is shows that I will have to catch up with online, new show in italics.  My DVR only has so much capabilities.

– I saw the pilots for Gotham and The Flash at Comic Con and I liked them enough to know I want more.

– I am currently watching The Blacklist on Netflix and really liking it, so unless something goes terribly wrong in the next 15 episodes, this one will get upgraded to blue.

– Some blues are old favorites on which I am very far behind; The Vampire Diaries, Bones, Nashville, Castle, to name a few.

– No show makes me more nervous than that red little Mulaney at the bottom.  I wanted to give it a blue really bad because I love him so much but the laugh track is making me nervous.

So go ahead, let me have it.  What am I stupid for watching?  What are you getting jazzed to watch?

– Ellen

TV DVR

 

Fall Movie Prediction Awards

Posted in Choice Picks, Movies by

I usually do a list of the top 10 movies I am most excited to see before a movie season, but there are just too many coming up, so I thought I would try something a little different this time.

The Hipster Award or Movie Most Likely to Make Me Whip Out My Belle & Sebastian Albums: God Help The Girl – Seriously, watch that trailer and tell me that the hipsters aren’t going to gaga for it.  (Sept. 5)

DIYS2Movie I Am Most Likely to See Just Because of James McAvoy – The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them – But also, the concept is intriguing and stuff.  (Sept. 12)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Terrified of Idris Elba…But Still Find Him Incredibly Sexy: No Good Deed – This one is also the most likely to make me start singing songs from Wicked. (Sept. 12)

The “Try and Take Me Seriously” Award: The Skeleton Twins – In all seriousness, this looks really good and Hader and Wiig are pretty convincing in their dramatic turn.  (Sept. 12)

13890-1The “Well, Hello, Matthew Crawley” Award: The Guest – Yeah, I’m pretty sure he is supposed to be a bad guy, but have you seen him in this trailer.  (Sept. 17)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Say, “Another Dystopian YA Novel Adaptation?  Sure, Why Not?”: The Maze Runner – Also, from the two seasons that I have watched of Teen Wolf, I know that Dylan O’Brien is stinkin’ adorable so that helps, too. (Sept. 19)

The Gay Moriarty Award: Pride – Sounds like fanfiction.  But I am also a sucker for quaint little movies from across the pond and this looks like it will fit the bill quite nicely. (Sept. 19)

The Tina Fey Effect Award: This is Where I Leave You – Tina is pretty much my hero, so I am obligated to see this no matter the Rotten Tomatoes rating.  Also, I read the book, so I’ve already put in the time.  (Sept. 19)

Movie Most Likely to Make Want to Adopt a Fictional Creature : Boxtrolls – Because have you seen them?  They are adorable. (Sept. 26)

downloadThe “Andre 3000? Like from Outkast?” Award: Jimi: All is by My Side – Rock star biopics have become all the rage and this one looks psychadelic.  I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson, this is for real.  (Sorry, I had to make one Outkast reference and “shake it like a Polaroid picture” seemed too obvious).  (Sept. 26)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Skeeved Out by Ben Affleck: Gone Girl – I am probably the only person in America to have not read the book yet, but I have faith in Fincher so I am pretty excited for this one.  Also! Casey Wilson and NPH?! Sign me up! (Oct. 3)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Grateful That I Never Displayed Any Musical Talent: Whiplash – See, Mom?  This is why I never did my piano practice.  You’re welcome.  But also, this looks good.  (Oct. 10)

The Next Stop on the Michael Keaton Comback Tour: Birdman – Weird dark comedy with an awesome cast that is already getting Oscar buzz?  Yeah, I’ll be there.  (Oct. 17)

The Endeavouring to Make Me Get Me Over My Dislike of Keira Knightley Award: Laggies –  I have a lot of unexplained antagonism for Keira.  I think it is the perpetual pout.  But this looks pretty good.  (Oct. 24)

The Bad News Bears Award: St. Vincent – I love me some cantankerous old men taking children under their wings to humorous and touching effect.  (Oct. 24)

hornsThe Next Stop on the Daniel Radcliffe Sheds the Wizard Typecasting Tour: Horns – The American accent helps.  And oh yeah, the horns, too.  This is already the movie that is most active on Tumblr.  (Oct. 31)

The Most Effective Trailer: Men, Women & Children – This one also gets bonus points for Jason Reitman, dramatic Adam Sandler and Judy Greer, and crying Augustus Waters. (Oct TBA)

The Marvel Bump Award: Big Hero 6 – I am now to the point where I will see a silly animated movie just because it is Marvel. (Nov. 7)

The Movie People are Going to See Just Because it is Directed by Christopher Nolan: Interstellar– But also because it will probably be a pretty good movie with some decent star power attached.  (Nov. 7)

foxcatcher-teaser-2The Out of the Box Casting Award: Foxcatcher – Yeah, that’s Steve Carell and he is already getting Oscar buzz.  Did you ever think you think you would see that happen? (Nov. 14)

The Movie That Will Probably Be Stupid But I Still Want to See It Award: Beyond the Lights – You guys, I am a sucker when it comes to movies geared toward African American audiences, especially when there is singing.  (Nov. 14)

The Most Likely to Force Shia LeBouf out of Retirement: Fury  – Also, the Brad Pitt bump award. (Nov. 14)

dumb-and-dumber-2-to-imageThe Most Likely to be Disappointing to My Generation: Dumb and Dumber To – I think nostalgia clouds people’s memory of how stupid this movie actually is.  Funny, but stupid.  (Nov. 14)

The Unnecessary Splitting Award: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 – Listen when you are up against The Hobbit and you still win this award, you know that your splitting into two movies is really unnecessary.  (Nov. 21)

The Benedict Cumberbatch Bump Award: The Imitation Game – Why does Keira Knightley continue to be in movies that I want to see?  First, Pride and Prejudice and now this.  Also, Whitney will see it for Allen Leech. (Nov. 21)

The Ellen’s Ultimate Comedy Crush Casting: Horrible Bosses 2 – It is like I cast this movie myself.  (Nov. 26)

The Makeupless Reese Witherspoon Award: Wild – It was a tough race, but this one won the fight.  (Dec. 5)

exodus_movie_2The “Am I Really Supposed to Believe These People are Ancient Egyptians?” Award: Exodus: Gods and Kings – Because last time I checked, Sigourney Weaver is pretty white.  Doesn’t mean I’m not going to see it.  (Dec. 12)

The Culmination of the Past Two Holiday Movie Seasons: The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies – Also, the trifecta of Freeman/Cumberbatch/Armitage is too much for me to ever pass up. (Dec. 17)

The Family Movie I Not Ashamed About Wanting to See: Annie – Again, I am a sucker for musicals and every time “Hard Knock Life” kicks in, I am dancing in my seat.  (Dec. 19)

Into-the-Woods-Movie-Meryl-Streep-as-the-WitchThe Movie Most Likely to Have the Bestselling Soundtrack of the Season: Into the Woods – I am such a sucker for big budget musicals, I will be there with bells on.  (Dec. 25)

The Movie Most Likely to Make Me Cry: Unbroken – Also, the movie to most likely to make Angelina Jolie look smug when she is nominated for Best Director.  (Dec. 25)

The Movie Most Likely to Get Free Publicity from North Korea: The Interview – It is also one of the lone comedies in a season of Oscar bait.  (Dec. 25)

Fan-Rants: Hulu Commercials

Posted in Fan-Rants, Sweet Streams, TV, Web by

hulu-screenshot1As I write this post, I am marathoning The Mindy Project, mainly because I wanted to re-watch Danny and Mindy’s mounting sexual tension, but also in preparation for the new season.  I am using my Hulu Plus account for this marathon and I have a complaint.  Unlike most Hulu users, I have gotten over the fact that I have to watch commercials on a service for which I am paying.  (Okay, actually, confession: I log into my mom’s account for which she pays, but my complaints are still valid).

So, no, I don’t care that I have to watch commercials, I care that I have to watch the same commercials.  Over. And over.  I realize that I am bound to see some repeats when I watch 15 episodes of The Mindy Project in a row, but can’t Hulu spring for more than 4 commercials?  I swear, if I have to watch that Honda Fit commercial with Nick Thune one more time, I am going to toss my work computer out the window, then I’m going to get fired and it is bound to turn into this whole thing and then my unemployment will be on your conscience, Hulu.  Can you deal with that?  I can’t imagine that you don’t have various products (that I will never buy) that don’t want to be on your service, so please, on behalf of all of us who have a TV-watching problem, get some more commercials

– Ellen

Grade A, Choice Picks: MY Top 10 Schoolhouse Rock Songs

Posted in Choice Picks, Music, TV by

shrOn Sunday Night, ABC will be airing a special called “The ABC’s of Schoolhouse Rock” and seeing how my love for Schoolhouse Rock knows no ends, I will, of course, be tuning in.  When I was just a wee little lassie, my mom got us a VHS set of these educational little ditties and I gobbled them up.  At the age of five, I was singing the preamble to the Constitution, my multiplication tables, and conjunctions even if I didn’t really understand what I was singing.

Schoolhouse Rock holds a very special, nostalgic place in my heart, but I still have my favorites.  I should say that my favorites tend to be different than the most popular songs (“Conjunction Junction”, “I’m Just a Bill”) and I am not very familiar with the newer songs.

10. “The Preamble” – When reciting the preamble to the Constituttion, I am incapable of not making certain one syllable words become two syllable words.  It was a little embarassing in 8th grade.  Best line: “..promote the general welfare a-and…fo-or the United States o-of America”

9. “Do the Circulation” – In an era where jogging was the new craze (I believe that’s a soft “j”), Schoolhouse Rock was urging kids to do the circulation by animating adorable fat people working out.  Best line: “There’s a great new craze that’s sweeping the nation. Come on, do the Circulation!”

8. “Sufferin’ ’til Suffrage” –  Sing it, sister!  Between your Disney Princess movies, instill some feminism in your youngsters with this upbeat number about all your favorite suffragettes.  Best line: “Since 1920, Sisters, unite!  Vote on!”

7. “A Noun Is A Person, Place Or Thing” – This was probably my favorite when I was really young, probably because it is one of the easier concepts to grasp.  Although, I had no idea who Chubby Checker was.  Best line: “I heard Chubby Checker, he was doing the twist, and the Beatles and the Monkees.  It goes like this.”

6. “No More Kings” – Have you ever wanted to cram 4 months of 5th grade US History into one song?  Have you ever wanted a song with a villainized caricature of King George III? Well, I know just the song for you.  Best line: “That’s called taxation without representation and it’s not fair.”

5. “Three is a Magic Number” – Imagine, if you will, a little bespectacled Ellen in third grade who is having a heck of a time wrapping her head around her 3 multiplication table.  Schoolhouse Rock stepped in and saved the day, mainly because I watched this song on repeat until I had it down.  Best line: “A man and a woman had a little baby. Yes, they did. They had three in the family. That’s a magic number”

4. “Interplanet Janet” –  I like to think that any comets are just this galaxy girl jet setting from planet to planet. I blame this song for my continuing to draw the sun with sunglasses.  He’s a cool star. (Also, RIP Pluto)  Best line: “It’s a star, it’s a star! So Janet got an autograph!”

3. “Mother Necessity” – Let’s not talk about how it took me a few years before I realized that Mother Necessity was not an actual woman in a rocking chair who played a role in the lives of our most famous inventors.  Best line: “Elias, how?”  (Do you see what they did there?)

2. “The Tale of Mr. Morton” – Listen, if you are not in love with Mr. Morton by the end of this song, you are a callous, heartless person and you should probably re-evaluate your life’s choices. Any song about a grammar-based romance is a win in my book. Best line: “Mister Morton talked to his cat. Mister Morton talked. (Hello, cat, you look good)”

1. “Interjections!” – In my opinion, this is their funniest video, while still remaining informative.  Everybody should say “Wow!” like the woman in this song.  Best line: “Yow! That’s not fair, giving a guy a shot down there!”

Do you have a favorite Schoolhouse Rock?  Were these songs as ingrained in your childhood?

– Ellen

 

 

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Sam Heughan (but really Jamie Fraser)

Posted in Crush of the Week, TV by

You may see our “Crush of the Week” feature and wonder how there are enough crushes in the world to have a new one every week, but TV is a ever-running fountain of men to crush on.  Recently, this fountain gave me the greatest gift of all, a physical embodiment of Jamie Fraser from the Outlander book series coming in the swoony form of one Sam Heughan.

Despite loving it, I have been hesitant to recommend Outlander because it has sexytimes and having read the book, I know there are more to come.  However, I cannot recommend crushing on Sam Heughan enough. I mean…

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Yes, sir.  You are.

I have yet to see Sam Heughan in anything other than Outlander, so I have to question how much of my crush is dependent on him playing the manly, adorable, gentlemanly Highlander, Jamie Fraser.   He ain’t no slouch as himself either, though.

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Oh, stop it, you.

But you guys, I really cannot stress enough…

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Jamie.

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Effing.

jamie 4

 

Fraser.

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Ugh.  Is it Saturday yet?

– Ellen

Marry Boff Kill: Marvel Chrises

Posted in MBK, Movies by

Marvel sure does have a thing for casting a Chris as a superhero, but who can blame them when their picks are Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, and Chris Pratt.  In continuing with our never ending game of Marry, Boff, Kill, we are (quite happily) taking on these Marvel Chrises.  Bring it on, boys.

Ellen’s Answers:

Gamora in the back? My look for hubby Chris Pratt

Gamora in the back? My look for my hubby, Chris Pratt

Marry Chris Pratt: By far my easiest MBK decision yet.  Listen, my number one quality always has been and always be a sense of humor, so cast member from Parks and Recreation?  Yes, that should do nicely.  That he also comes in the package of Chris Pratt? That should do very nicely.  And no, it doesn’t matter if we are talking Chris Pratt in Guardians shape or Parks season 2-3 shape.  I have always loved him.

Must. Not. Use. "Hammer" euphemism.

Must. Not. Use. “Hammer” euphemism.

Boff Chris Hemsworth: I don’t think I need to defend my answer, but in defense of my answer, I recently saw Chris Hemsworth at Comic Con and I’m pretty sure my ovaries literally reached out to him (TMI? Meh, whatever), so I feel like they would be angry if I didn’t take this opportunity to boff him. Like this is a likely scenario.  Oof, just the thought of it is too much for me to handle.

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Don’t cry, Cap.

Kill Chris Evans: This does depress me, but one of them had to go.  Considering that it wasn’t really until Winter Soldier that I boarded Chris Evans Express, I am left having to mercilessly sacrifice him to the MBK gods.

Whitney’s Answers: 

Ellen, you smart, strong, sensual Dill-weed. As per ushe, you have completely bunged this up. Sit back before you hurt yourself. I got this. 008~94

Marry Chris Evans: Logistically, he is the most sensible “marry” choice, as he is the only unwedded Chris. Oh, and also because he is a six-foot slice of human perfection. I only came to this conclusion after I saw him interviewed during the Avengers press junket. You would think that someone this gratuitously hot would have the common decency to be super boring and unfunny. Not so. Watch and weep, guys.

chris_prattBoff Chris Pratt: I have this whole boff completely mapped out: Mouse Rat would be playing in the background, we would be cruising the galaxy on his super-sweet space ship, and Champion the three-legged dog would be cheering us on from the sidelines. As if I even need to say it, this boff would be at least 5,000 times better than a Candle in the Wind. 

Kill Chris Hemsworth: Ellen and I have played this game a lot. By "Rush" Ferrari Arrivalswhich I mean that we once spent an entire three-day weekend doing nothing but sitting on a Santa Cruz beach, soaking up those sweet UV’s, and deciding the fate of every single celebrity we could think of. (Seriously, Rick Moranis made an appearance; we were not messing around.) One thing that I learned is that Ellen agonizes over almost all of her kills, and I execute mine with all the cold, detached objectivity of  someone who actually understands that this is, you know, a game. So I’m gonna go ahead and kill off Hemsworth. Not because I don’t think he’s boffable, but because I actually fear the power of his boff. He’s just too much man. And obviously I can’t marry him because Chris Evans and I have an understanding. Sorry Thor. I hope your super hot wife and too-cute baby will be some consolation, however small. 

-Ellen and Whitney

Grade A, Choice Picks: Ellen’s Summer Movies Roundup

Posted in Choice Picks, Movies by

As August moves into September and as magazines start touting their Fall Movie Picks, it is safe to say that summer movie is drawing to a close.  Like a true fangirl, I have been to the movies more times this summer than I have been in a bathing suit.  That is a fact.  That being said, I feel more than qualified to pass judgement on this summer movie season.

Back in April, I listed the 10 summer movies that I was most excited to see and… ended up seeing 6 out 10.  The reviews for Jersey Boys, Magic in the Moonlight, The Giver, and Let’s Be Cops just weren’t good enough to get $7-$18 out of me, but that doesn’t mean I won’t shill out the Redbox or Amazon Instant fees eventually.  Maybe.

I DID get out for some movies that hadn’t been on my radar, though, so let’s take a look at my favs from the summer.

snowpiercer-mv-110. Snowpiercer (Previously not listed) Look, I liked this movie but I have had a hard time recommending it because it is definitely not for everyone, but if you enjoy gorific, dystopian movies set on trains with a haunting Tilda Swinton (it’s a very niche category), then this is for you.  Or if you like Chris Evans.  Mmm, Chris Evans in a beanie.

9. Chef (Previously not listed) My number one piece of advice before seeing this movie: do NOT see this on an empty stomach.  I saw it after a big meal and I still wanted to eat everything I saw.  It is food porn.  Outside of the most beautiful footage of food you will ever see, the story was sweet and feel-good, the performances were good, and did I mention the food?

maxresdefault8. 22 Jump Street (Previously #5) This summer was seriously lacking in the straight up comedies, but luckily I had this movie.  I feel like anyone who loves movies would love this movie because it is deliciously meta, skewering summer blockbusters, sequels, and itself.  Channing Tatum continued to impress me with his comedic chops and made me sit up further and take notice (because he had never really done it for me until he started being funny in these movies).  TIP: You MUST stay for the credits because they are probably the best part of the movie.

7. Edge of Tomorrow (Previously #9) I’m glad that I showed some faith in this movie because I ended up really liking it and only wish that more people had gone to see it.  I understand that it looks like your typical Tom Cruise shoot-’em-up, but you guys, it was so much more.  It was a surprisingly funny, kick ass, sci-fi, action movie that had a cool chick who didn’t need Tom Cruise to protect her and Tom’s character was actually a bit of a wimp.  Well, at least in the beginning.  Give it a try on DVD.

boyhood6. Boyhood (Previously not listed) If you haven’t heard about this movie, writer/director Richard Linklater filmed the lead boy and the cast of characters in his life over the course of 12 years.  The result is a delightful slice of life film that is more like 12 slices making a delicious cake that, even at a runtime of over 2 1/2 hours, I didn’t want to end.  I was so protective over this kid by the end because I had literally seen him grow up before my eyes.

5.  The Fault in Our Stars (Previously #2)  This one gets demoted not because I didn’t LOVE it, but only because I can step outside of the feels and recognize that it is maybe not as “quality” of a movie as the ones I save for the top of the list.  As a huge fan of the book, I was contractualy obligated to be excited for the movie and it did not disappoint.  I can’t remember a recent adaptation that was more faithful or a Gus that was more adorable.  Okay?  Okay.


Chef4. X-Men: Days of Future Past (Previously #3)  I don’t know if this is something I have made clear yet, but Fassbender.  Enough said.  I love him and he does not disappoint in the looks department here.  Not that he ever could.  Except for Frank maybe. But besides Fassbender, Quicksilver!  Boss 70’s threads!  An unprecedented cavalcade of stars!  Some of whom barely even spoke!  This movie was bananas and I was on board from go.

3. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (Previously not listed)  While I was able to recognize that Rise was a good movie, it didn’t do enough to make me overly psyched for Dawn.  Maybe I just really love apes on horses with machine guns, but I really loved this movie.  I cried way more than I was probably supposed to and

Belle Movie Stills2. Belle (Previously not listed) A bit of a disclaimer, I did watch my Blu-ray of this last night, so it is a bit fresher than the others, but I also loved it enough in theatres to pre-order the Blu-ray so that it would arrive on my doorstep so that it would arrive on my door on the date of release. So, yeah.  I really liked this movie, but in the book of Ellen, what’s not to like?  A good rule of thumb is that if it is a romantic period drama, I’m going to dig it.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy (Previously #1) To quote myself:

I have faith.  Faith in Marvel and the power of Chris Pratt’s abs, a power that cannot be denied.  …  Don’t make me regret putting you at number one, Marvel.

No regrets whatsoever.  In fact, my only regret would have been if it had not been number one.  So far, I have seen this twice in theatres and am scavenging for a friend who has not seen it yet so that I can see it a third time.  I have been very vocal about my love for this movie, so I won’t get into it, but long story, I love this movie, I get giddy just thinking about it, everything about it is perfect, and you cannot convince me otherwise.  With that, I leave you with this:

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Happy Fall Movie Season, everyone!

– Ellen

Fangirly Crush of the Week: Tom Hiddleston

Posted in Crush of the Week by

tumblr_mtryl1lnEg1rz0ey2o1_500In doing this “Crush of the Week” feature, I often come up with an idea and think, “There is no way we haven’t already done them” or “I love them way too much to have never chosen them”.  Then I search them on the site and to my utter shock an horror, come up with nothing.

This has never been more shocking than when I searched Tom Hiddleston and came up with nothing in the way of crushing.

I have been crushing on Tom for a while and all his Tumblr love has really pushed me over the edge.  The fangirls love them some Tom Hiddleston.  And why shouldn’t they?  He is an adorably charming sexpot with a voice like butter, plus he can dance.

Earlier this week, his ALS Ice Bucket Challenge made women understand the appeal of a good wet T-Shirt contest.

Thank you, England.  Thank you, God.  Whoever is responsible for this.

– Ellen