For the record, I think that Clara (Jenna-Louise Coleman) is the coolest, smartest, least irritating Doctor Who companion since Donna Noble. However, just because I wholeheartedly approve of the Doctor’s latest choice of BFF doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kill to have the job myself. And because Time Lord traveling companion jobs are so hard to come by these days, I thought I’d submit my application in the event that Clara gets sucked through a hole in the space-time continuum, or gets zapped by the Silence, or sprains an ankle and has to go on disability (all equally plausible on this show).
Desired Position: Must… resist urge… to write… euphemism…
Education History: Have seen every episode of Doctor Who at least five times, well versed in the Doctor’s Rules, extensive knowledge of…. Oh, you mean like, school? My bad.
Employment History: Server in a Mexican restaurant. Which, frankly, isn’t any less cool than being a shop girl (Rose), or a temp (Donna), or a resurrecting nanny with the computer hacking skills of Nolan Ross and the baking skills of Paula Dean (Clara). Actually, forget about that last one…
Why I would be right for the job: I’m a twenty-something female with a spotty employment record and a passion for intergalactic hijinks! A better question would be, how am I WRONG for this job?
Joking aside, this is probably the strongest job application I’ve ever written. Seriously.
Ever since the premiere of this year’s Doctor Who Christmas special, and subsequent reveal that Oswin and Clara are the same person, I’ve been going nuts trying to solve the mystery behind the Doctor’s newest companion. This isn’t the first time my obsessive tendencies have gotten the better of me, but it just might be the worst. So for the sake of my mental health, I’ve compiled a list of all my craziest theories. And while I’m pretty sure that none of these theories are anywhere near correct, you can’t blame a Whovian for trying.
1) She’s Jenny!
Why: Clara/Oswin has the habit of dying and popping up in different times and places, a talent that we know the Doctor passed on to his baby girl in the season four episode, “The Doctor’s Daughter”. Also, Clara/Oswin’s phrase “run you clever boy” sounds a lot like Jenny’s favorite saying, “love the running”. Tenuous? You bet.
Why Not: My love for Doctor Who could make me forgive a lot of things, but I’m going to have to draw the line at incest. If Clara/Oswin really is the doctor’s long lost daughter, then their impromptu make-out sesh suddenly lost a lot of its adorability. I mean, a lot.
2) She may be another Time Lord (Time Lass? Time Lady?)
Why: Girlfriend is coming back to life and traveling through time and space. Sounding familiar?
Why Not: This particular plot device seems to be a little played out, if you ask me. First there was the return of the Master, and then the reveal of River’s quasi-Time Lord status leaves me feeling like our new companion will probably not turn out to be yet another time-hopping humanoid.
3) Clara/Oswin may be the twelfth reincarnation of the Doctor.
Why: This is by far my favorite of all the theories floating around at the moment. Personally, although my heart beats for Matt Smith, I think it would be beyond awesome to have a female Doctor. Not to mention that she is by far the cleverest of all the Doctor’s companions, maybe as clever as the Doctor himself. And let’s be honest, weirder things have happened on this show.
Why Not: There are just way too many holes in this theory . Firstly, we have so far seen three separate reincarnations of the same girl. Somehow I don’t think that the Doctor would, or could, regenerate into the same body three different times. Also, if Clara/Oswin is the Doctor then why wouldn’t she be aware of it herself? While I would love to have a sister piloting the TARDIS, I really don’t think it’s going to happen.
So there you have it, all my wildest Doctor Who theories! If you have any DW musings you want to share, feel free to go nuts in our comment section!