If I had to pick one word to sum up last night’s Emmy Awards, I would have to go with unprecedented. I mean, who could have possibly foreseen that Modern Family would pick up Outstanding Comedy Series for the fifth consecutive time? Or that the dark horse nominee from Breaking Bad (you know, Malcolm’s dad) would take home the award for Outstanding Lead actor? Not to mention all the other left-fielders like The Big Bang Theory, American Horror Story, and Steven Moffat’s little known passion project Sherlock. And while all the wins last night were richly deserved, we decided to recognize all those performances that would otherwise have gone unnoticed. We present to you, our seven readers, the 2014 Femmie Awards.
Outstanding Use of Grocery Bags, Loose Fitting Clothes, and Tony Goldwyn’s Knee to Hide a Baby Bump in a Drama Series
And the Femmie goes to…
Scandal!
Most Outstanding Comedy Series to Ever Get Cut Down in It’s Prime, Thereby Denying Viewers What Should Have Been Years of Comedy Gold
And the Femmie goes to…
Subergatory! (Kind of a Win/Lose)
Outstanding Performance by a Smart, Strong, Sensual Woman in a Comedy Series
And the Femmie goes to…
Tina Belcher! (Bob’s Burgers)
Outstanding Miniseries that Attempts to Make the Idea of Getting Knocked Up by Patrick J Adams Less Appealing, and Ultimately Fails
And the Femmie goes to…
Rosemary’s Baby! (NBC)
We here at Fangirly would like to extend our congratulation to all our winners! You will be going home with… nothing. Statues were not in the budget.
-Whitney