Whitney’s Official 2016 Oscar Snubs

There are plenty to choose from, right? Ridley Scott, Star Wars, Michael B. Jordan, Idris Elba. The list of Oscar snubs, as it does every year, goes on. My diplomatic response would be that the Academy simply can’t accommodate and acknowledge all the great work that was churned out this year. My unfiltered Fangirl answer would be, did The Revenant and Fury Road really, really deserve 12 and 10 nominations, respectively? It’s a subject that’s certainly up for debate. But I’m not here to talk about the Academy’s apparent inability to spread the love. No, I would instead like to focus on the few specific snubs that really bring out the Troll in me.

epuygrqbovigxgrznjxz

3) Crimson Peak for Best Cinematography

It’s pretty obvious that this movie wasn’t for everyone. But no matter what you thought about this Guillermo Del Toro horror set in a repressive, Victorian hell-scape, you must admit that it was beautiful to look at. As a genre, though, horror rarely gets any props at the Oscars, mad or otherwise, so this snub wasn’t at all surprising.  I had hoped, however, for some kind of honorable mention. Something like “Best Use of Tom Hiddleston’s Shapely Hind-Parts in a Drama”. Just a suggestion.

jj-abrams-shows-off-first-footage-of-x-wing-in-star-wars-episode-vii

2) JJ Abrams for Best Director

This is mostly wishful thinking. I just hoped that after all  the garbage that has been slung at this genuinely wonderful movie, it might have been recognized with a nom somewhat more meaningful than “Best Film Editing”. JJ Abrams gave us a Star Wars that was steeped in action and humor and nostalgia and feminism, and in return received a whole lot of internet bitching and a truck-load of broken box office records. We audiences are nothing if not inconsistent.

charlize_theron_72348

1) Charlize Theron for Best Actress 

You would think that at least one of the ten nominations doled out to Fury Road would have gone to the performance that made the movie what it was. Theron’s Furiosa was easily the most moving and complex performance in an action movie, well, ever. I bet this pointed snub has left her pretty inconsolable right now.

giphy (5)

See what I mean?

Whitney Weldon

Top Five 2014 Oscar Nomination Snubs

I have just one word to say about the 2014 Academy Award Nominations: egregious (brought to you by dictionary.com’s word of the day). Because so many outstanding performances were completely ignored by the Academy, we at Fangirly feel it our duty to present to you, our four readers, those we feel should have been recognized this year.gallery_test2

5) “Wolf of Wall Street” for Most Judicious Use of the F-Word in a Motion Picture. I heard it was only like, five… Sorry, did you say five hundred??? That is like, a whole other award.

4) Tom Cruise for Best Use of Lifts in a Motion Picture in “Jack Reacher”. Guys, I actually believed that he and Rosamund Pike were amy-adams-christian-bale-american-hustleable to have a conversation without using two tin cans and a string.

3) “American Hustle” for Best Foreign Language Film. I didn’t even need subtitles for this one, because I speak conversational 70’s. For that I’d like to thank the band Grand Funk Railroad and the movie Slap Shot.gravity-imax-poster-sandra-bullock-george-clooney-small

2) “Gravity” for Film Most Likely to Make Whitney Piss Her Pants in a Theater Due to a Complete Lack of Bathroom Break Moments. Don’t even pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.

NEBRASKA1) June Squibb for Actress in a Supporting Role That I’m Pretty Sure Was Based On My Paternal Grandmother. Super Cute? Check. Foul-mouthed? You got it. Ability to suffer fools? Highly questionable.

Whitney