Fangirly Presents KNOCK IT OFF HENRY CAVILL!

Hey. Hey you!

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Yes you. I want you to knock it off.

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Is that a yes or a no? How about you talk with your mouth, not your piercing blue eyes.

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EXCUSE ME?!

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Hey, don’t look at the red monster, look at me!

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What, you think you’re cool because you have a bunch of Muppet friends?  LOOK AT ME!

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Better. Now can you please KNOCK IT OFF?

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Buddy, you are swiftly approaching my very last nerve.

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Is this FUNNY TO YOU?!

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OH YEAH?!!?

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…whatever…

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Oh yeah, it’s like that.

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This has been Fangirly Presents Knock it off, Henry Cavill.

Whitney

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The Reviews Are In: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

downloadWe’ve gotten to know each other pretty well by now, right? Ellen and I have publicized most of our pop-culture proclivities (ALLITERATION!), and we’ve held very little back. Here’s another confession for the books: we go bananas for 60’s spy thrillers. James Bond, Funeral in Berlin,  Notorious. The hairier the chest, the shorter the swim trunks, the happier we are. So when we heard about Guy Ritchie’s new spy thriller The Man from U.N.C.L.E, starring Henry Cavill (he of the chin that cuts glass) and Armie Hammer (he of cartoon eyelashes) we had difficulty keeping our trademark cool (joke).

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And believe me guys, this movie did not disappoint. Guy Ritchie understands that a spy movie is only as interesting as it’s man-from-uncle-2015-alicia-vikander
spies, so he gave us three of the most watchable spooks since… ever.

Henry Cavill plays Napoleon Solo, a Bond-type company man who is carrying out a sentence of indentured servitude to the CIA. In an effort to avert a nuclear apocalypse (as per ushe) he teams up with (gasp!) KGB Special Agent Illya (Armie Hammer) and East Berlin refugee Gaby (Alicia Vikander). World saving ensues.

I’ll be the first to admit that the story here is a little light. But the movie is so stylish and fun to watch, I found myself not caring. The dynamic between Nalopeon and Illya is hysterical (you know, typical American-Russian tom-foolery), and Armie Hammer and Alicia Vikander have some of the best on-screen chemistry I’ve seen in a while. My only Man-from-Uncle-Movie-2015-Elizabeth-Debicki-Victoria-Vinciguerracomplaint? Resident super-villain Victoria (Elizabeth Debicki) didn’t really strike fear into my heart as I’m sure was intended. More Femme Fatigue than Femme Fatale, if you feel me. Also, Jared Harris should be legally prohibited from doing an American accent. Ever.

I know this movie has snatched some pretty mixed reviews, but I’m begging you to go see it. I promise it will be the most fun you’ll have at the movies this summer.

Whitney

Cinema Chutes and Ladders: Summer 2015

It’s August and that means that the summer box office has begun it’s inevitable cool-down. We’re here to give you our take on a few of this summer’s biggest releases and speculate on a few late season stragglers. It’s time for another edition of Cinema Chutes and Ladders!

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Avengers: Age of Ultron (May 1)

There’s been a lot of talk lately about Marvel Fatigue and the over-saturation of comic book movies. In response I’d like to say, um, boo hoo? What a bummer for audiences that this production studio is churning out these pretty consistently good films that make people excited to go to the movies. The nerve. I, for one, really enjoyed Age of Ultron.  It gave me everything I needed from an Avenger movie, like good character moments, and solid performances, and…

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Chris Evans chopping wood. Can’t forget about that.

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tom-hardy-as-max-in-mad-max-fury-roadMad Max: Fury Road (May 15)

I wasn’t sold on Fury Road when it was announced last year; I prefer studios to spend their time developing something original rather than rebooting a franchise that flamed out thirty years ago. So you can imagine my surprise when this turned out to be not only one of the best, but in many way one of the most original, summer release. Fingers crossed for a Nux spin-off, am I right?

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Jurassic World (June 12)JURASSIC-WORLD-15-1940x1042

I gave Jurassic World an initial good review that I stand by. But when this movie is taken into context with all the other summer releases, it’s definitely one of the weaker links in the cinematic chain. It was fun, but not much more than that.

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Trainwreck (July 7)

The alternate title of this movie was How Whitney Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Amy Schumer.

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Marvel's Ant-Man..Scott Lang/Ant-Man (Paul Rudd)..Photo Credit: Zade Rosenthal..? Marvel 2014

Ant-Man (July 7)

I had one hope for this movie. I only asked that I could make it though Ant-Man‘s 117 minute run-time without hearing the phrase “why don’t you pick on somebody your own size”. I did not get that wish.

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Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (July 31)

It’s really easy for me to forget what an amazing franchise Mission Impossible has been, until I’m confronted with yet another off-the-chain installment of said franchise. In other news, Rebecca Ferguson is my official Girl Crush of 2015. Crossfit has clearly served her well.

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The Gift (August 8)

From watching the trailer of The Gift, starring Joel Edgerton, Jason Bateman, and Rebecca Hall, I catch whiffs of Single While Female and Fatal Attraction. Since we haven’t seen too many psychological thrillers this season, I’m interested to see how this one shakes out. For now, I’m calling it a ladder based on casting alone.

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Fantastic Four (August 8)first-fantastic-four-trailer-arrives-online_vbew.1920

So Twentieth Century Fox, your plan was to take a quartet of inherently ridiculous superheroes whose attempts at film success has nose-dived not once, but twice, and make them grittier? Good call. Hey, maybe next you could remake The King and I as a raunchy sex comedy.

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Dark-Places-Movie-2015-starring-Charlize-Theron-and-Nicholas-HoultDark Places (August 8)

Probably capitalizing on the success of Gillian Flynn’s last film adaptation, Gone Girl, is a movie that looks stylistically and thematically very similar. Hey, if it’s half a bananas the trailer implies, you can sign me up.

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Man From U.N.C.L.E. (August 14)maxresdefault

Henry Cavill, why must we always do this? You insist on looking balls-to-the-wall sexy and I’m sent into a celebrity crush tailspin. Do you know how hard it is to live like this? DO YOU!?

Whitney