The Reviews Are In: Zootopia

Me, when I realized I was the only person over 20 in the theater without children.

200 (3)

Me, when I realized I didn’t care.

use this one

Me, after it dawned on me that Zoototpia is the greatest animated film of all time

tumblr_o0b7253pSM1ry7whco1_500.gif

Me, when the lady next to me wouldn’t SHUT UP.

giphy (7).gif

Me, during the DMV scene.

giphy.gif

Me, when I realized that a fox and a bunny can totally be best friends.

giphy (4).gif

Me, when it ended and I had to go home and eat my feels.

200 (1).gif

Whitney Weldon

Advertisements

Cinema Chutes and Ladders: Summer 2015

It’s August and that means that the summer box office has begun it’s inevitable cool-down. We’re here to give you our take on a few of this summer’s biggest releases and speculate on a few late season stragglers. It’s time for another edition of Cinema Chutes and Ladders!

Ladder

Avengers: Age of Ultron (May 1)

There’s been a lot of talk lately about Marvel Fatigue and the over-saturation of comic book movies. In response I’d like to say, um, boo hoo? What a bummer for audiences that this production studio is churning out these pretty consistently good films that make people excited to go to the movies. The nerve. I, for one, really enjoyed Age of Ultron.  It gave me everything I needed from an Avenger movie, like good character moments, and solid performances, and…

download

Chris Evans chopping wood. Can’t forget about that.

Ladder

tom-hardy-as-max-in-mad-max-fury-roadMad Max: Fury Road (May 15)

I wasn’t sold on Fury Road when it was announced last year; I prefer studios to spend their time developing something original rather than rebooting a franchise that flamed out thirty years ago. So you can imagine my surprise when this turned out to be not only one of the best, but in many way one of the most original, summer release. Fingers crossed for a Nux spin-off, am I right?

Chute

Jurassic World (June 12)JURASSIC-WORLD-15-1940x1042

I gave Jurassic World an initial good review that I stand by. But when this movie is taken into context with all the other summer releases, it’s definitely one of the weaker links in the cinematic chain. It was fun, but not much more than that.

Ladder

Trainwreck (July 7)

The alternate title of this movie was How Whitney Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Amy Schumer.

giphy (1)

Chute

Marvel's Ant-Man..Scott Lang/Ant-Man (Paul Rudd)..Photo Credit: Zade Rosenthal..? Marvel 2014

Ant-Man (July 7)

I had one hope for this movie. I only asked that I could make it though Ant-Man‘s 117 minute run-time without hearing the phrase “why don’t you pick on somebody your own size”. I did not get that wish.

Ladder

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (July 31)

It’s really easy for me to forget what an amazing franchise Mission Impossible has been, until I’m confronted with yet another off-the-chain installment of said franchise. In other news, Rebecca Ferguson is my official Girl Crush of 2015. Crossfit has clearly served her well.

giphy

Ladder

The Gift (August 8)

From watching the trailer of The Gift, starring Joel Edgerton, Jason Bateman, and Rebecca Hall, I catch whiffs of Single While Female and Fatal Attraction. Since we haven’t seen too many psychological thrillers this season, I’m interested to see how this one shakes out. For now, I’m calling it a ladder based on casting alone.

1x09-Storming-the-Castle-Animated-gif-Michael-s-reaction-arrested-development-7915256-300-170

Chute

Fantastic Four (August 8)first-fantastic-four-trailer-arrives-online_vbew.1920

So Twentieth Century Fox, your plan was to take a quartet of inherently ridiculous superheroes whose attempts at film success has nose-dived not once, but twice, and make them grittier? Good call. Hey, maybe next you could remake The King and I as a raunchy sex comedy.

Ladder

Dark-Places-Movie-2015-starring-Charlize-Theron-and-Nicholas-HoultDark Places (August 8)

Probably capitalizing on the success of Gillian Flynn’s last film adaptation, Gone Girl, is a movie that looks stylistically and thematically very similar. Hey, if it’s half a bananas the trailer implies, you can sign me up.

Ladder

Man From U.N.C.L.E. (August 14)maxresdefault

Henry Cavill, why must we always do this? You insist on looking balls-to-the-wall sexy and I’m sent into a celebrity crush tailspin. Do you know how hard it is to live like this? DO YOU!?

Whitney

The Reviews Are In: Arrested Development Season 4

imagesListen people, no one, and I mean NO ONE, was more excited about the Netflix release of a 4th season of Arrested Development than me. In fact, this whole month has really just been one big AD cluster-quote (“I’ve made a huge mistake”, “I’M A MONSTER”, “Mr. F”- I could go on). This is why it hurts like a taping of “Boyfights” for me to say that I’ve been fantastically underwhelmed so far with the new season.

I’m not sure what about this season has been rubbing me the wrong way, like cut-offs on a Never-Nude. Maybe it’s because Michael (Jason Bateman), usually the smart brother, is now just as clueless and self-involved as the rest of the Bluth clan. One of the reasons the show worked is because Michael’s character gave the audience someone to root for. Now that Michael’s out of the running for Most Likeable Bluth, it’s a toss up between George Michael and Franklin the Puppet.

This season also has me asking the question, is it possible to be too self-referential? I’m going to have to say yes. The constant allusions to the unfortunate and premature cancellation almost seven years ago are getting a little tired. And while we’re on the subject, I can’t say I’m loving Ron Howard’s transition from wry narrator to on-screen Jerry Bruckheimer rival. I’m fully aware that the purpose of this new season is to serve as a set up for the up coming AD movie, but do we need to be remind of the fact ALL THE TIME?

It’s possible that I’m being altogether too fastidious. I mean, it’s just a show right? WRONG. Some shows just walk in the light (I’m looking at you Veronica Mars, 30 Rock, and Happy Endings). This whole experience has left me wondering if I really want these shows to come back, bringing with them the possibility of disappointment, or just remember them as they were. I hope we’ve all learned something….

tumblr_lqek14m7P11qf94kbo1_500

ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE.

-Whitney