Marry, Boff, Kill: The Boys of Civil War (Whitney’s Answers)

I know, I totally get it. Too much Civil War. I give you, here and now, my promise that I will consider, potentially, at a later date, eventually contemplate posting about other things. Maybe. But this billion-dollar-summer-blockbuster-snowball just keeps getting bigger, so we are going to ride this out with our very own Civil War edition of Marry, Boff, Kill! Our contestants are Chadwick Boseman as Black Panther, Sebastian Stan as The Winter Soldier, and Anthony Mackie as Falcon. And for once, Ellen, I want a clean fight. (Psych! I’m planning to draw blood). So without further ado…

Marry Black Panther

Pros: a (bananas) sexy scientist

happens to be king of a sovereign nation

moonlights as a superhero.

Cons: none to speak of.

Conclusion: yes please.

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Boff Falcon

Mama always said, when looking for someone with whom you can share a casual, mind-blowing sexual encounter, look for a sense of humor.

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So if my mama asks, I find Anthony Mackie’s butt hilarious.

Kill Bucky Barnes 

The right sequence of words turns him into a one-man kill squad. I never stop talking. Murphy’s Law pretty much guarantees that I’m going to inadvertently turn Bucky Barnes into a metal-armed death machine. We’re… not a good fit.

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Whitney Weldon

 

 

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Fangirly Crush of the Week: Anthony Mackie

From a fangirl’s perspective, Captain America: Civil War is really the gift that keeps giving.

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And giving.

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And giving.

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And giving.

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Tempt me not, MCU, for I am weak. And nothing makes us weaker (particularly in the knee department) than the Civil War standout, Anthony Mackie, AKA Falcon.

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Cut. The. Check.

With his indomitable charm, on-point delivery, and eyelashes that can generate their own wind currents,  Anthony Mackie took this character from chummy to scrummy.

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Falcon may not be Captain America’s best friend, but he’s certainly his dishiest.

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So we salute you, Anthony Mackie. May your damn fine self be ever present in our Tumblr feeds, and our hearts.

Whitney Weldon

(This post was brought to you by too much time on Fangirly’s hands).

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