Fictional Music Groups it’s Totally OK to Listen to Unironically

Mandonna (Happy Endings)

To this day, Mandonna’s rendition of “Like a Prayer” is the most hauntingly beautiful I’ve ever heard. Also, I love that they hum the intro for almost a full minute to give Penny (Casey Wilson) time to do the murderball bit. Team Friendship!

Robin Sparkles (How I Met Your Mother)

Phhfff. Like I needed an excuse to put on jelly bracelets and my cool graffiti coat.

Powerline (A Goofy Movie)

Wouldn’t it be, like, completely insane if I crafted this entire post for the sole purpose of posting another Poweline video? …Seriously, would it?

The Barden Bellas/ The Treblemakers (Pitch Perfect)

The Bellas and the Trebles make those Glee weirdos look like the S Club 7 of acapella.

The Sapphires (The Sapphires)

Fun Fact: The sapphires were an actual girl group that sang for the troops in Vietnam, but those chicks never put out a record on iTunes, so we must settle for the soundtrack version. And by settle I mean put it on repeat.

Billie Piper (Surprisingly, a real pop star)

When Robin Freaking Sparkles is a more realistic teen pop icon than you, your act must be remarkably whack. But clearly she did something right because I own, umm, three of her records.

Mouse Rat (Parks and Recreation)

I bet we all thought that there was no way Lady Di could ever be one-upped by a mini-horse. Then this happened.

Sex Bob-Omb (Scott Pilgrim V. The World)

I want to have this band’s adopted babies.

I am so in lesbians with this band

They are Sex Bob-Omb and they are here to sell out and make money and stuff.

(If that cluster-quote made no sense to you, you need to get less of a life).

Whitney

Advertisements

Choice Picks: New Fall Shows You Should Get Excited About NOW

Sunday

Mulaney (Fox) 9:30

Wait, I’m confused. If the show is supposed to be named after him, then why isn’t it called Whitney’s Future Husband?

Monday

Gotham (Fox) 8:00

I wish I could say this was the first time I’ve been sexually attracted to The Penguin.

Tuesday

Selfie (ABC) 8:00

Amy Pond stars in a My Fair Lady retelling. I’ve told you all you need to know.

The Flash (CW) 8:00

You got to hand it to the CW, they know when they’ve found a winning formula: cute boy + comic book premise – waiting months and months for next installments.

Marry Me (NBC) 9:00

Full Disclosure- I have no idea what this show is about. They had me at Casey Wilson. And they really had me at Ken Marino. In summation, they really have me.

Forever (ABC) 10:00

Ioan Gruffudd stars as a medical examiner who enjoys a fulfilling career and a normal human lifespan. Oh, scratch that, he lives forever. I gotta learn how to pick up on context clues.

Thursday

Gracepoint (Fox) 9:00

From what I can tell, David Tennant stars in the US version of last years Broadchurch, which also starred David Tennant. Hey, reduce, reuse, recycle.

A to Z (NBC) 9:30

My only hope for this show is that Cristin Milioti doesn’t die at the end of the 9th season. Sorry, too soon?

How to Get Away with Murder (ABC) 10:00

Ironically, Viola Davis probably could get away with murder.

-Whitney

Fall Movie Prediction Awards

I usually do a list of the top 10 movies I am most excited to see before a movie season, but there are just too many coming up, so I thought I would try something a little different this time.

The Hipster Award or Movie Most Likely to Make Me Whip Out My Belle & Sebastian Albums: God Help The Girl – Seriously, watch that trailer and tell me that the hipsters aren’t going to gaga for it.  (Sept. 5)

DIYS2Movie I Am Most Likely to See Just Because of James McAvoy – The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them – But also, the concept is intriguing and stuff.  (Sept. 12)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Terrified of Idris Elba…But Still Find Him Incredibly Sexy: No Good Deed – This one is also the most likely to make me start singing songs from Wicked. (Sept. 12)

The “Try and Take Me Seriously” Award: The Skeleton Twins – In all seriousness, this looks really good and Hader and Wiig are pretty convincing in their dramatic turn.  (Sept. 12)

13890-1The “Well, Hello, Matthew Crawley” Award: The Guest – Yeah, I’m pretty sure he is supposed to be a bad guy, but have you seen him in this trailer.  (Sept. 17)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Say, “Another Dystopian YA Novel Adaptation?  Sure, Why Not?”: The Maze Runner – Also, from the two seasons that I have watched of Teen Wolf, I know that Dylan O’Brien is stinkin’ adorable so that helps, too. (Sept. 19)

The Gay Moriarty Award: Pride – Sounds like fanfiction.  But I am also a sucker for quaint little movies from across the pond and this looks like it will fit the bill quite nicely. (Sept. 19)

The Tina Fey Effect Award: This is Where I Leave You – Tina is pretty much my hero, so I am obligated to see this no matter the Rotten Tomatoes rating.  Also, I read the book, so I’ve already put in the time.  (Sept. 19)

Movie Most Likely to Make Want to Adopt a Fictional Creature : Boxtrolls – Because have you seen them?  They are adorable. (Sept. 26)

downloadThe “Andre 3000? Like from Outkast?” Award: Jimi: All is by My Side – Rock star biopics have become all the rage and this one looks psychadelic.  I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson, this is for real.  (Sorry, I had to make one Outkast reference and “shake it like a Polaroid picture” seemed too obvious).  (Sept. 26)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Skeeved Out by Ben Affleck: Gone Girl – I am probably the only person in America to have not read the book yet, but I have faith in Fincher so I am pretty excited for this one.  Also! Casey Wilson and NPH?! Sign me up! (Oct. 3)

Movie Most Likely to Make Me Grateful That I Never Displayed Any Musical Talent: Whiplash – See, Mom?  This is why I never did my piano practice.  You’re welcome.  But also, this looks good.  (Oct. 10)

The Next Stop on the Michael Keaton Comback Tour: Birdman – Weird dark comedy with an awesome cast that is already getting Oscar buzz?  Yeah, I’ll be there.  (Oct. 17)

The Endeavouring to Make Me Get Me Over My Dislike of Keira Knightley Award: Laggies –  I have a lot of unexplained antagonism for Keira.  I think it is the perpetual pout.  But this looks pretty good.  (Oct. 24)

The Bad News Bears Award: St. Vincent – I love me some cantankerous old men taking children under their wings to humorous and touching effect.  (Oct. 24)

hornsThe Next Stop on the Daniel Radcliffe Sheds the Wizard Typecasting Tour: Horns – The American accent helps.  And oh yeah, the horns, too.  This is already the movie that is most active on Tumblr.  (Oct. 31)

The Most Effective Trailer: Men, Women & Children – This one also gets bonus points for Jason Reitman, dramatic Adam Sandler and Judy Greer, and crying Augustus Waters. (Oct TBA)

The Marvel Bump Award: Big Hero 6 – I am now to the point where I will see a silly animated movie just because it is Marvel. (Nov. 7)

The Movie People are Going to See Just Because it is Directed by Christopher Nolan: Interstellar– But also because it will probably be a pretty good movie with some decent star power attached.  (Nov. 7)

foxcatcher-teaser-2The Out of the Box Casting Award: Foxcatcher – Yeah, that’s Steve Carell and he is already getting Oscar buzz.  Did you ever think you think you would see that happen? (Nov. 14)

The Movie That Will Probably Be Stupid But I Still Want to See It Award: Beyond the Lights – You guys, I am a sucker when it comes to movies geared toward African American audiences, especially when there is singing.  (Nov. 14)

The Most Likely to Force Shia LeBouf out of Retirement: Fury  – Also, the Brad Pitt bump award. (Nov. 14)

dumb-and-dumber-2-to-imageThe Most Likely to be Disappointing to My Generation: Dumb and Dumber To – I think nostalgia clouds people’s memory of how stupid this movie actually is.  Funny, but stupid.  (Nov. 14)

The Unnecessary Splitting Award: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 – Listen when you are up against The Hobbit and you still win this award, you know that your splitting into two movies is really unnecessary.  (Nov. 21)

The Benedict Cumberbatch Bump Award: The Imitation Game – Why does Keira Knightley continue to be in movies that I want to see?  First, Pride and Prejudice and now this.  Also, Whitney will see it for Allen Leech. (Nov. 21)

The Ellen’s Ultimate Comedy Crush Casting: Horrible Bosses 2 – It is like I cast this movie myself.  (Nov. 26)

The Makeupless Reese Witherspoon Award: Wild – It was a tough race, but this one won the fight.  (Dec. 5)

exodus_movie_2The “Am I Really Supposed to Believe These People are Ancient Egyptians?” Award: Exodus: Gods and Kings – Because last time I checked, Sigourney Weaver is pretty white.  Doesn’t mean I’m not going to see it.  (Dec. 12)

The Culmination of the Past Two Holiday Movie Seasons: The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies – Also, the trifecta of Freeman/Cumberbatch/Armitage is too much for me to ever pass up. (Dec. 17)

The Family Movie I Not Ashamed About Wanting to See: Annie – Again, I am a sucker for musicals and every time “Hard Knock Life” kicks in, I am dancing in my seat.  (Dec. 19)

Into-the-Woods-Movie-Meryl-Streep-as-the-WitchThe Movie Most Likely to Have the Bestselling Soundtrack of the Season: Into the Woods – I am such a sucker for big budget musicals, I will be there with bells on.  (Dec. 25)

The Movie Most Likely to Make Me Cry: Unbroken – Also, the movie to most likely to make Angelina Jolie look smug when she is nominated for Best Director.  (Dec. 25)

The Movie Most Likely to Get Free Publicity from North Korea: The Interview – It is also one of the lone comedies in a season of Oscar bait.  (Dec. 25)

Grade A, Choice Picks: MY Top 10 Schoolhouse Rock Songs

shrOn Sunday Night, ABC will be airing a special called “The ABC’s of Schoolhouse Rock” and seeing how my love for Schoolhouse Rock knows no ends, I will, of course, be tuning in.  When I was just a wee little lassie, my mom got us a VHS set of these educational little ditties and I gobbled them up.  At the age of five, I was singing the preamble to the Constitution, my multiplication tables, and conjunctions even if I didn’t really understand what I was singing.

Schoolhouse Rock holds a very special, nostalgic place in my heart, but I still have my favorites.  I should say that my favorites tend to be different than the most popular songs (“Conjunction Junction”, “I’m Just a Bill”) and I am not very familiar with the newer songs.

10. “The Preamble” – When reciting the preamble to the Constituttion, I am incapable of not making certain one syllable words become two syllable words.  It was a little embarassing in 8th grade.  Best line: “..promote the general welfare a-and…fo-or the United States o-of America”

9. “Do the Circulation” – In an era where jogging was the new craze (I believe that’s a soft “j”), Schoolhouse Rock was urging kids to do the circulation by animating adorable fat people working out.  Best line: “There’s a great new craze that’s sweeping the nation. Come on, do the Circulation!”

8. “Sufferin’ ’til Suffrage” –  Sing it, sister!  Between your Disney Princess movies, instill some feminism in your youngsters with this upbeat number about all your favorite suffragettes.  Best line: “Since 1920, Sisters, unite!  Vote on!”

7. “A Noun Is A Person, Place Or Thing” – This was probably my favorite when I was really young, probably because it is one of the easier concepts to grasp.  Although, I had no idea who Chubby Checker was.  Best line: “I heard Chubby Checker, he was doing the twist, and the Beatles and the Monkees.  It goes like this.”

6. “No More Kings” – Have you ever wanted to cram 4 months of 5th grade US History into one song?  Have you ever wanted a song with a villainized caricature of King George III? Well, I know just the song for you.  Best line: “That’s called taxation without representation and it’s not fair.”

5. “Three is a Magic Number” – Imagine, if you will, a little bespectacled Ellen in third grade who is having a heck of a time wrapping her head around her 3 multiplication table.  Schoolhouse Rock stepped in and saved the day, mainly because I watched this song on repeat until I had it down.  Best line: “A man and a woman had a little baby. Yes, they did. They had three in the family. That’s a magic number”

4. “Interplanet Janet” –  I like to think that any comets are just this galaxy girl jet setting from planet to planet. I blame this song for my continuing to draw the sun with sunglasses.  He’s a cool star. (Also, RIP Pluto)  Best line: “It’s a star, it’s a star! So Janet got an autograph!”

3. “Mother Necessity” – Let’s not talk about how it took me a few years before I realized that Mother Necessity was not an actual woman in a rocking chair who played a role in the lives of our most famous inventors.  Best line: “Elias, how?”  (Do you see what they did there?)

2. “The Tale of Mr. Morton” – Listen, if you are not in love with Mr. Morton by the end of this song, you are a callous, heartless person and you should probably re-evaluate your life’s choices. Any song about a grammar-based romance is a win in my book. Best line: “Mister Morton talked to his cat. Mister Morton talked. (Hello, cat, you look good)”

1. “Interjections!” – In my opinion, this is their funniest video, while still remaining informative.  Everybody should say “Wow!” like the woman in this song.  Best line: “Yow! That’s not fair, giving a guy a shot down there!”

Do you have a favorite Schoolhouse Rock?  Were these songs as ingrained in your childhood?

Ellen

 

 

Grade A, Choice Picks: Ellen’s Summer Movies Roundup

As August moves into September and as magazines start touting their Fall Movie Picks, it is safe to say that summer movie is drawing to a close.  Like a true fangirl, I have been to the movies more times this summer than I have been in a bathing suit.  That is a fact.  That being said, I feel more than qualified to pass judgement on this summer movie season.

Back in April, I listed the 10 summer movies that I was most excited to see and… ended up seeing 6 out 10.  The reviews for Jersey Boys, Magic in the Moonlight, The Giver, and Let’s Be Cops just weren’t good enough to get $7-$18 out of me, but that doesn’t mean I won’t shill out the Redbox or Amazon Instant fees eventually.  Maybe.

I DID get out for some movies that hadn’t been on my radar, though, so let’s take a look at my favs from the summer.

snowpiercer-mv-110. Snowpiercer (Previously not listed) Look, I liked this movie but I have had a hard time recommending it because it is definitely not for everyone, but if you enjoy gorific, dystopian movies set on trains with a haunting Tilda Swinton (it’s a very niche category), then this is for you.  Or if you like Chris Evans.  Mmm, Chris Evans in a beanie.

9. Chef (Previously not listed) My number one piece of advice before seeing this movie: do NOT see this on an empty stomach.  I saw it after a big meal and I still wanted to eat everything I saw.  It is food porn.  Outside of the most beautiful footage of food you will ever see, the story was sweet and feel-good, the performances were good, and did I mention the food?

maxresdefault8. 22 Jump Street (Previously #5) This summer was seriously lacking in the straight up comedies, but luckily I had this movie.  I feel like anyone who loves movies would love this movie because it is deliciously meta, skewering summer blockbusters, sequels, and itself.  Channing Tatum continued to impress me with his comedic chops and made me sit up further and take notice (because he had never really done it for me until he started being funny in these movies).  TIP: You MUST stay for the credits because they are probably the best part of the movie.

7. Edge of Tomorrow (Previously #9) I’m glad that I showed some faith in this movie because I ended up really liking it and only wish that more people had gone to see it.  I understand that it looks like your typical Tom Cruise shoot-’em-up, but you guys, it was so much more.  It was a surprisingly funny, kick ass, sci-fi, action movie that had a cool chick who didn’t need Tom Cruise to protect her and Tom’s character was actually a bit of a wimp.  Well, at least in the beginning.  Give it a try on DVD.

boyhood6. Boyhood (Previously not listed) If you haven’t heard about this movie, writer/director Richard Linklater filmed the lead boy and the cast of characters in his life over the course of 12 years.  The result is a delightful slice of life film that is more like 12 slices making a delicious cake that, even at a runtime of over 2 1/2 hours, I didn’t want to end.  I was so protective over this kid by the end because I had literally seen him grow up before my eyes.

5.  The Fault in Our Stars (Previously #2)  This one gets demoted not because I didn’t LOVE it, but only because I can step outside of the feels and recognize that it is maybe not as “quality” of a movie as the ones I save for the top of the list.  As a huge fan of the book, I was contractualy obligated to be excited for the movie and it did not disappoint.  I can’t remember a recent adaptation that was more faithful or a Gus that was more adorable.  Okay?  Okay.


Chef4. X-Men: Days of Future Past
 (Previously #3)  I don’t know if this is something I have made clear yet, but Fassbender.  Enough said.  I love him and he does not disappoint in the looks department here.  Not that he ever could.  Except for Frank maybe. But besides Fassbender, Quicksilver!  Boss 70’s threads!  An unprecedented cavalcade of stars!  Some of whom barely even spoke!  This movie was bananas and I was on board from go.

3. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (Previously not listed)  While I was able to recognize that Rise was a good movie, it didn’t do enough to make me overly psyched for Dawn.  Maybe I just really love apes on horses with machine guns, but I really loved this movie.  I cried way more than I was probably supposed to and

Belle Movie Stills2. Belle (Previously not listed) A bit of a disclaimer, I did watch my Blu-ray of this last night, so it is a bit fresher than the others, but I also loved it enough in theatres to pre-order the Blu-ray so that it would arrive on my doorstep so that it would arrive on my door on the date of release. So, yeah.  I really liked this movie, but in the book of Ellen, what’s not to like?  A good rule of thumb is that if it is a romantic period drama, I’m going to dig it.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy (Previously #1) To quote myself:

I have faith.  Faith in Marvel and the power of Chris Pratt’s abs, a power that cannot be denied.  …  Don’t make me regret putting you at number one, Marvel.

No regrets whatsoever.  In fact, my only regret would have been if it had not been number one.  So far, I have seen this twice in theatres and am scavenging for a friend who has not seen it yet so that I can see it a third time.  I have been very vocal about my love for this movie, so I won’t get into it, but long story, I love this movie, I get giddy just thinking about it, everything about it is perfect, and you cannot convince me otherwise.  With that, I leave you with this:

tumblr_naz2u6t1y91ttvfzko1_500

Happy Fall Movie Season, everyone!

Ellen

Grade A, Choice Picks: Top 5 Patriotic Moments

Seeing as how it is the 3rd of July, the 4th of July is tomorrow!  What better way to celebrate the eve of this great day for this great nation of ours than to watch some patriotic moments.

5. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington “Fillibuster”   Is there anything more American than a fillibuster?  You’ve got democracy in action, freedom of speech, and Americans love to hear themselves talk.  “You all think I’m licked.  Well, I’m not licked and I’m going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause.

4. Team America: World Police “America: F*** Yeah”   I haven’t even seen this movie but my brothers have sung this song enough times for it to make me feel patriotic.  For the sensitivity of some of my readers, I won’t include the video.  But I will link it.

3. Independence Day “President’s Speech”   Maybe one of the best movie speeches out there and certainly the most patriotic.  “And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: ‘We will not go quietly into the night!’ We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

2. The Sandlot “Fireworks on the Fourth of July”   This one ranks high for me partly out of nostalgia for the movie but mainly out of nostalgia for those summer days as a kid, running around the neighborhood with the smell of BBQ hanging in the air.  Also, Ray Charles’ rendition of “America the Beautiful” is just the tops.

1. Miracle – Pretty much the whole movie  I had a hard time picking a specific moment so I’m not going to.  BUT, if you held a gun to my head, I would probably pick the moment where Mike Eruzione exclaims “I play for the United States of America!”

Honorable Mention: I tried to stick to movies only, but everything out of Ron Swanson’s mouth gets an honorable mention.

What moments from film or TV make you proud to be an American?

Ellen

Grade A, Choice Picks: Best So You Think You Can Dance Routines

We are well into summer which can only mean one thing: we are well into So You Think You Can Dance.  Well, we are at least past the auditions (thank goodness) and are now onto the good stuff!  I love me some SYTYCD so I, of course, have my favorite dances.  You will notice that I am partial to certain styles and certain choreographers.  Sorry ballroom and Mandy Moore (the choreogrpaher and not the pop star/”actress”). What can I say, I know what I like.

10. “If It Kills Me”- Jeanine and Jason – Season 5 Contemporary – Choreographed by Travis Wall

Travis Wall has some great dances but I have always loved this one featuring the locket.  It also introduced me the acoustic version of this Jason Mraz song which I proceeded to play on loop for the rest of that summer.

9. “I Am the Best” – Jenna and Mark – Season 10 Jazz – Choreographed by Mark Kanemura

Mark’s first run at choreo on the show totally won me.  It is weird and awesome which is always a winning combo for me on this show.  Definitely best use of a ponytail on this show.  Possibly ever.

8. “Gravity”- Kayla and Kupono – Season 5 Contemporary – Choreographed by Mia Michaels

I was biased going into this dance because I love the song, but Mia’s depiction of the turmoil of addiction was beautiful and haunting.  Something always brings me back to this dance.

7. “Bleeding Love”- Chelsie and Mark – Season 4 Hip-Hop – Choreographed by Nappy Tabs

Season 4 was my first season that I watched so I have always been partial but this was the first dance that I remember watching over and over. Also, just Nappy Tabs.  I love them infinity.

6. “The Garden”- Courtney and Mark – Season 4 Jazz – Choreographed by Sonya Tayeh 

Oh, Sonya.  You can spot one of her dances from a mile away and this has always been the epitome for me.  It is her patented blend of creepy/spastic/sexy/weird.

5. “Mercy”- Twitch and Katee – Season 4 Contemporary – Choreographed by Mia Michaels

Whoa, three season 4 dances in a row!  Not intentional but like I said, I’m partial to season 4.  Another thing I am partial to? Twitch.  He is just my favorite dancer ever from this show.  This one goes down as best use of a prop for me.

4.”Circle of Life”- Group Routine – Season 9 Hip-Hop – Choreographed by Nappy Tabs  

I must have watched this dance at least 10 times the night it debuted.  The super cool remix is just a bonus on top of an awesome dance.  I never know where to look during it because there is just so much going on!

3. “Ramalama Bang Bang”- Group Routine – Season 2 Jazz – Choreographed by Wade Robson

Another weirdo dance that I really love.  What does this say about me.  I cannot listen to this song without doing that “unzip my body take my heart out” move.  And I listed to this song a lot.

2. “Bang Bang”- Eliana and Alex – Season 9 Contemporary – Choreographed by Stacey Tookey

The quiet simmer of this dance is utterly enthralling.  I can never look away.

1. “Outta Your Mind”- Twitch and Alex – Season 7 Hip-Hop – Choreographed by Nappy Tabs 

Look, I love the hip hop on the show.  Especially when it is Nappy Tabs and ESPECIALLY when it is Twitch.  Also, Alex freaking Wong.  He is just too good in this dance to be a ballerina.

 

What is your favorite SYTYCD?  I still have a lot of favs that I had to leave off, so I’m sorry if it was yours.