Yesterday, you may have seen that Whitney played a round of MBK with some of the characters from some of our favorite movies this summer. She predicted I would throw shade and she gives me no choice but to do be shady when she gets it so unequivocally wrong. Once again, it falls to me to not totally disqualify us as experts in objectifying men. Whitney, you are totally going to ruin our street cred. If you feel like we are both getting it wrong, or if you feel like you need to tell Whitney how wrong she was, let us know on our Facebook page, our twitter@fangirly2, or at firstname.lastname@example.org.
First of all, he looks like Chris Pratt. That should be enough, but I’ll go on. Granted, this is the one movie I haven’t seen of the three, but just from the trailer I know that he has the gentle-yet-firm approach to train velociraptors that is sure to make him the perfect candidate with whom to make babies. Doesn’t hurt that the process is sure to be quite…enjoyable.
I don’t know how to be delicate with my response to this one. But…umm…he has super speed and I won’t lie and say that I am not curious as to how that would manifest itself in the boudoir. Admittedly, “fast” is not always what one wants in that department, but I feel like it could also have…ahem…satisfactory results that I am not prepared to bypass for the purposes of this game. Was that all vague enough to still be appropriate?
It would a bit of “pot calling the kettle black” to reject him for skin tone alone, but I’ll start there. Then I will move on to what Whitney referred to as his “cute little tumors” and the fact that he requires a human being to be chained to him as a blood bag. Listen I am open to experimentation, but I am not quite prepared to have a voyeur joining us. So, Nux, I send you off to that great Valhalla in the sky.