August 13, it’s safe to say,
Is bigger than Rex Manning Day
In terms of Joy and Jubilation,
It’s a birthday craze that is saaa-weeping the nation
And who’s the cause of all this racket?
It’s ELLEN, who just reached another age bracket!
In the “Hottie” department, she’s a repeat offender
And can make even the slickest good guys surrender.
She’s a brainy broad, with lots in her head,
Just let her regale you with all that she’s read.
She’s fast with a grin and quick with a joke
A girl you could take out for pig-in-a-poke.
If your taste is a gal with all the right moves
Then you’ll look no further once you’ve seen how she grooves
Forget that I-G-G-Y, cause Ellen’s twice as Dance-y
And it’s easy to see that she’s three times as Fancy
She’s a certified babe, from her shoes to her hair,
When she walks down the street, people stop and they stare.
She’s funny and sassy like a Lady Nick Miller
But, you’ve been warned, she’s a stone-cold Killer
She can be a bit quirky, nothing too odd
And I’m sure you won’t care once you’ve checked out her bod
It must be rough, being so super-fine
Er day dealing with boys that pine
But she deals with the stress in her own special way,
“Is this wi-fi Organic?” as Drunk Uncle would say.
And her far-away cousin, whose love won’t erode
Sat down at a laptop and wrote her this Ode
I hope you enjoyed this digital toast,
‘Cause I’ve poured all my love into this dumb little post
Happy Birthday, you Boob Punch