A Birthday Tribute for Whitney: A Gifture Book

Once there was a girl named Whitney, far too witty and sassy for the general populace to appreciate.

charm bomb

Her biggest fan of her awesomeness was her cousin Ellen, who in her own way was fairly awesome, but could never live up to Whitney.  Whitney constantly had to tell her,


With their combined awesomeness they decided to take the world by storm…


…Even if there were people who didn’t think they could do it.


Before long, they were famous the world over.  Not for any skill nor talent, but just for general awesomeness.


With that fame, it also wasn’t long before the boys came a-runnin’.  Mainly for Whitney.

confetti Happy Dead paul rudd Wink

Ellen took all of the attention for Whitney in stride…

Date me
…and did the best she could with Whitney’s discard pile.


All of the men wanted to be Whitney’s gentleman lover.


At first, Whitney was quite a fan of all the attention.

double trouble

But soon grew weary of her harem of admirers…

aint nobody got time for that

…and decided that she would be better off just focusing on herself

alone and free

She didn’t need a man to validate her awesomeness.

i'm delightful

Ellen couldn’t bear to be without her so they reunited.  And it felt so good.

taste the happy

Together they continued their world domination and lived happily ever after.



Happy Birthday, dear Whitney.  I can think of no one more deserving of this poorly written story interspersed with gifs of our favorite things.




One thought on “A Birthday Tribute for Whitney: A Gifture Book

  1. Ells. Before I read this I was speechful, but your talent has rendered me speechless. I die. I DIE!!!!!! Ellen, I love this so much!!!!! WHY ARE YOU SO CREATIVE???? Did you take some artistic liberties? sure. Am I going to hold it against you? NEVER. I love you man. This is the best birthday present EVER. And that includes the above ground kiddie pool I got twenty years ago. Love you, coz.

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