Once there was a girl named Whitney, far too witty and sassy for the general populace to appreciate.

Her biggest fan of her awesomeness was her cousin Ellen, who in her own way was fairly awesome, but could never live up to Whitney.  Whitney constantly had to tell her,

With their combined awesomeness they decided to take the world by storm…

…Even if there were people who didn’t think they could do it.

Before long, they were famous the world over.  Not for any skill nor talent, but just for general awesomeness.

With that fame, it also wasn’t long before the boys came a-runnin’.  Mainly for Whitney.

Ellen took all of the attention for Whitney in stride…

…and did the best she could with Whitney’s discard pile.

All of the men wanted to be Whitney’s gentleman lover.

At first, Whitney was quite a fan of all the attention.

But soon grew weary of her harem of admirers…

…and decided that she would be better off just focusing on herself

She didn’t need a man to validate her awesomeness.

Ellen couldn’t bear to be without her so they reunited.  And it felt so good.

Together they continued their world domination and lived happily ever after.

 

Happy Birthday, dear Whitney.  I can think of no one more deserving of this poorly written story interspersed with gifs of our favorite things.

 

– Ellen