For the record, I think that Clara (Jenna-Louise Coleman) is the coolest, smartest, least irritating Doctor Who companion since Donna Noble. However, just because I wholeheartedly approve of the Doctor’s latest choice of BFF doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kill to have the job myself. And because Time Lord traveling companion jobs are so hard to come by these days, I thought I’d submit my application in the event that Clara gets sucked through a hole in the space-time continuum, or gets zapped by the Silence, or sprains an ankle and has to go on disability (all equally plausible on this show).

Name: Whitney

Desired Position: Must… resist urge… to write… euphemism…

Education History: Have seen every episode of Doctor Who at least five times, well versed in the Doctor’s Rules, extensive knowledge of…. Oh, you mean like, school? My bad.

Employment History: Server in a Mexican restaurant. Which, frankly, isn’t any less cool than being a shop girl (Rose), or a temp (Donna), or a resurrecting nanny with the computer hacking skills of Nolan Ross and the baking skills of Paula Dean (Clara). Actually, forget about that last one…

Why I would be right for the job: I’m a twenty-something female with a spotty employment record and a passion for intergalactic hijinks! A better question would be, how am I WRONG for this job?

Joking aside, this is probably the strongest job application I’ve ever written. Seriously.

-Whitney