Fangirl Poetry: Dealbreaker

30rock_0We’re still reeling from the loss of 30 Rock here at Fangirly and in a effort to aid others in the grief process, I’ve decided to post an original poem I wrote for my 12th grade AP English class. I feel like I should mention that this poem only earned me a B. Moral of the story: when your teacher asks for a poem that expresses your inner self, don’t write about your favorite prime time sitcom. He will not be amused.

Dealbreaker

Single woman, loves her cheese

Won’t you come and date her please?

Goes to work every day at NBC

Deals with kooks named Jenna and Tracy

She figured out the Rural Juror

At first she was sure, but now she is surer

Dated a Beeper King, dogonit

Floyd also tried to put a ring on it

Jon Ham was stuck inside his bubble

Dating caused her nothin’ but trouble

Then at the dentist with a mouth full of drool

Wesley Snipes told her, “To settle is cool”

Tracy’s goal is to get his first EGOT

All Lemon wants is her own little tot

She just wants a man who isn’t a faker

Phony fellas are a real Deal-Breaker

But what every one knows and she cannot see

Is that Lemon belongs with Jacky D

-Whitney

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